“No,you don’t get it. You’re mine, now. If someone doesn’t treat you the way you should be treated, it’s my job to take care of it.”
Kina was pissed now. “No, it’s not. Jeez, Jonathan, I can take care of myself. Look at me! I took on two grown men and I’m just fine. They’re hurting more than I am!”
Jonathan was still pissed, but his hand was gentle as he cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her bruised cheek. “No, you’re not fine. They touched you. They never should have touched you. They hurt you. I’m just going to have a word with the men at the production house and explain.”
“No!” Kina yelled, smacking his hand away from her face and not wanting his gentleness while he stood there and metaphorically beat his chest like a caveman.
“You’re not! Listen to me, Jonathan. You can’t do this. I can’t be with you if you’re going to do this. What are you going to do when I trip over my own feet? Beat the crap out of someone standing next to me? What if someone accidentally elbows me in a store? You gonna knock them off their feet, yell at them? It’s ridiculous. You knew I could take care of myself before you met me. What makes you think now is any different? You’re acting like Matt. He used to beat the crap out of people he imagined looked at what was his too.”
Jonathan tried to tamp down the hurt and fury her words caused him. “You’re shaking, honey. You’re hurt. I can’t ignore that and not do anything.”
“It’s the adrenaline, Jonathan. I’m fine. Seriously. All I want to do is go upstairs and take a shower and lie down.”
“Give me the keys and you can go and do that. I’ll be back later.”
Kina couldn’t think of anything else to say. He wasn’t hearing her. He was going to do what he wanted to do, just as Matt always did. She’d thought he was different. It was breaking her heart, to know he wasn’t. She handed Jonathan the keys and waited for him to get out of the way. When he finally stepped back, she jumped down and opened the back door. She got the cameras out of the back.
“Will you please help Jeff up to his room before you go?”
Without waiting for his answer, Kina turned toward the hotel doors.
“I’ll let you know when I’m back and maybe we can get something to eat?”
Kina ignored him and entered the hotel without looking back, blinded by the tears coursing down her cheeks.
* * *
Jonathan knew Kina was pissed and upset, but she was asking too much of him to ignore what had happened to her. He was damn proud of her for being able to get herself out of the situation, but she shouldn’t havehad to do it. And that was the crux of the matter. The other men were right there and were too drunk to help her. She could’ve really been hurt.
He wanted to be with her, to help her clean up and take care of her face, but it was more important to him to go to the production house. He had to talk to the men. They had to know what they’d done. After Jonathan was done with them they wouldn’t let a woman face two thugs on her own again, that was for sure.
After dragging Jeff up to his room and leaving him passed out on his bed, he’d deal with him later, Jonathan drove to the production house. Eddie and Shannel weren’t around anywhere. He went up the stairs to find the men still on the show. He’d teach them a lesson on how women should be treated that they’d never forget.
* * *
Kina heard Jonathan knocking on her door. She ignored him. She was broken by his refusing to listen to her. She knew he was an alpha and felt the need to be protective of her, but she’d begged him to let it go and he didn’t. She wasn’t sure she could spend her life with him watching over her like that, ignoring her wishes.
She couldn’t go through it again. It had taken her months to get over the pain Matt had inflicted on her, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get over it from Jonathan.
Jonathan knew Kina was in her room. She was obviously pissed at him. She couldn’t seriously think he’d just leave it alone. No man in his right mind would ignore what happened if it had happened to his woman. He thought about what his brother would’ve done if this was Becky. He’d have lost his ever-loving mind. The only reason the two men who attacked his wife were still alive and breathing was because the police caught them before Dean did.
“Please let me in, Kina,” Jonathan said softly at her door.
Kina bit her lip. It took everything she had to not answer him. He sounded so sad, but she couldn’t give in. He’d hurt her. No, he’d devastated her.
“Did you get some ice for your face?”
God, why did he have to be so concerned and so darnnice?
When she still didn’t answer him, after a while she finally she heard him say, “Okay, I’m right next door, hon. If you feel like talking later, please don’t hesitate to come over. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She turned her face into her pillow so he wouldn’t hear her cry. She was so disappointed in him. She’d had such high hopes for their relationship and now she didn’t know if she’d be able to trust him again the same way she had before.
* * *
The tension in the SUV was ratcheted high the next morning on the way to the production set. Kina had skipped breakfast so she didn’t have to talk to Jonathan. She knew he was waiting for her and wanted to talk to her, because he’d stopped by her door on his way down to breakfast.
“Kina? Are you awake? I’d like to talk to you before breakfast.”
When she didn’t answer, she’d heard him sigh. “Okay, you’re still mad at me. You know what happened to Becky. I couldn’t let this go. If the same thing happened to you, I’d lose it. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’d hoped to be able to talk to you and explain what happened when I went over to the house yesterday.” When she didn’t answer him after several moments, he said, “I’ll talk to you downstairs.”
Kina sat fully dressed on her bed and listened to him walk away. She’d started to second-guess herself. Was she overreacting? His bringing up Becky’s experiences had made her think. She knew how devastated Jonathan had been when Becky had been hurt. Sheknew.He’d opened himself up to her and told her everything. Had yesterday brought on flashbacks for him? Did he sleep all right last night? Oh, crap. She had a bad feeling she’d done him a disservice. She hung her head and closed her eyes. This was too hard. This was why she wasn’t good at relationships. She tended to only think about what she felt, what she wanted. Knowing she had to face him at some point, she took a deep breath and made her way downstairs.
Jeff obviously wasn’t feeling well that morning. He was hung-over and hurting. Kina didn’t have any sympathy for him. He’d definitely overstepped his bounds as a camera operator yesterday. She wondered for a moment if he’d regretted it, then decided he probably didn’t. For the first time since they’d gotten to Alaska, there was silence in the car on the way to the set. Taylor and Carl had no idea what was going on, but with the bruise on her face, they knew something was up. They stayed silent, but gave her concerned looks as they traveled toward the set.
Eddie was there to greet the SUV as they pulled up to the house. As soon as Jeff stepped out of the vehicle, Eddie asked to speak with him. Kina, Taylor, and Carl looked over at them with curiosity, but Kina noticed Jonathan seemed to be ignoring them altogether. Eddie and Jeff were still talking, as the four of them walked into the house.
Not too long after that, Eddie entered the production house and closed the door. “Jeff won’t be joining us on the rest of the show. It’ll be up to the four of you to cover the competitions and to finish the filming. I understand, Kina, that what happened yesterday wasn’t your fault, but I do expect in the future that if something like this happens again, you’ll notify me immediately. You shouldn’t have been put in that position and the men shouldn’t have left the house, no matter how bored they were.”
Kina could only nod. She was shocked. She’d never thought Eddie would’ve been that cool about the entire situation. If anything, she figured he’d be a jerk about it and either fire her or at the v
ery least scold her. It was hard for her to believe he’d actually fired Jeff. Why had he fired Jeff and not her? It didn’t make any sense.
She looked sideways at Jonathan, he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Hmm. Kina wondered if he had anything to do with it. Maybe she should’ve talked to him this morning, after all. She looked at Jonathan carefully for the first time that morning.
He had no outward cuts or bruises that would indicate he’d gotten in a fight the night before. That didn’t necessarily mean anything, though. The other four guys were pretty drunk and they most likely couldn’t defend themselves very well.
She looked at Jonathan’s hands. If he’d decked any of the men, his knuckles would be bearing the marks. Nothing. They were as smooth as they had been the last time she’d seen him.
Eddie continued talking to the camera crew. “As you know, there are four contestants left. We’ll begin having single-elimination contests from here on out. We’ll obviously have two more competitions before the final event. The single eliminations will be handled with short challenges, and the final, for the ‘Extreme Alaskan’ title, will be another overnight assignment. I’ll explain what that is when we get to it. In the meantime, I’ll assign each of you to film one of the men. Stick with them, film everything they do. After recording today, I expect you all to check out of the hotel and stay here. The pressure will be on and I want to get all of their reactions on film. If you have any problems with that, you can talk to me later, but I expect no one will. You’re all professionals here, make sure you act like it.”
Kina winced, knowing he wasn’t really talking to her, but feeling bad all the same. She knew she should’ve called Eddie yesterday as soon as the men said they wanted to get out of the house, but she hadn’t.
Kina caught the sympathetic look in Jonathan’s eyes and looked away. She wasn’t ready to deal with him. She knew he’d done something, but couldn’t figure out what.
Jonathan was frustrated that he hadn’t been able to tend Kina’s face the night before. She was too pissed at him to let him into her room. He would’ve made sure she kept ice on it and hopefully that would’ve lessened the pain and the bruising. He hated that she had to take care of herself, but he’d had to go to the production house the night before. He just had to.
Jonathan winced at the condition of the four contestants as they entered the room after all the cameras were set up. They looked extremely hung-over and uncomfortable. He didn’t have much sympathy for them, but he could still feel for them.
Jonathan thought back to the night before. He hadn’t fought anyone, that wasn’t his style. But he’d slain them with his words. He made sure they knew whatcould have happened to Kina. He explained in great detail what a woman goes through when she’s raped. What it does to their self-esteem and what kind of life they had afterward. He made them think about their moms and sisters and friends. Would they sit around and watch as someone precious to them fought for her life or fought to protect herself?
He’d ground them into dust with his words. He knew they’d never do it again, and that was what he was going for. He’d also sat down with Eddie and let him know all about the issues he and Kina had with Jeff. It wasn’t that he was a bad worker or necessarily a bad person, but the chip on his shoulder was huge and the night before had been the last straw for Jonathan.
Eddie reassured him that he’d take care of the issue and Jonathan was glad to see this morning that the man had dealt with it. Jonathan had wanted to talk with Kina before breakfast and let her know what he’d done and how he’d dealt with had happened to her, but she wouldn’t talk to him. It disappointed him, but he supposed he couldn’t blame her. She’d been burnt before by a man who’d taken over and acted way too macho and controlling. He’d just have to give her time, she’d come to him when she was ready…he hoped.
Chapter Thirteen
Kina watched, with no sympathy, as the four men competed in the next competition. They were all miserable, but she couldn’t care less at the moment. Her face still hurt from the blow she’d taken the day before. She also knew she was sporting a nice bruise as well. Kina didn’t bother to try to hide it with makeup. She wanted the guys to see what had happened to her. The pain wasn’t anything that would keep her off the set and not working, but she still knew it was there nonetheless. None of the men would really look at her after seeing her black eye for the first time. She again wondered what Jonathan had said to them yesterday.
None of the four men looked like they’d been beaten up, at least from what Kina could see. It just didn’t make sense to her. She knew Jonathan had been over to the house last night, but she couldn’t fathom him just sitting down for a chat. Then again, that apparently seemed to have been just what happened. Crap. She’d expected Jonathan to beat the hell out of the men, that was what Matt would’ve done. She thought about how she’d obviously misjudged Jonathan…again.
Kina knew the competition today was geared toward punishing the men. Eddie was good at coming up with things like that. As he had Shannel explain, part of living in Alaska was being able to be self-sufficient. They were brought to a local homestead in the middle of nowhere. The owners, Mr. and Mrs. Morrell, had a pretty big farming operation, as well as an extensive garden. They were completely self-sufficient during the winter and had fresh eggs, milk, and enough vegetables to last them throughout the harsh season. They’d spent the entire summer working on killing enough game to freeze and growing the fresh food in their gardens.
Thank God, Eddie wasn’t going to have them go out and hunt for anything. Kina knew someone would probably have blown off a foot or something if they had to actually shoot live animals for the competition.
It seemed that today’s challenge would be to milk a cow and fill an entire bucket with milk, gather a dozen eggs, behead a chicken, and pull weeds out of a section of the garden. It didn’t seem that hard of a challenge, but with all of the men being hung-over, it’d be tough.
Kina was in charge of filming Darius. Overall, she found her attention wandering throughout the challenge. She kept thinking about Jonathan. She’d been so mad at him last night; mad enough to never want to talk to him again, but now she was second-guessing herself. He’d been so calm this morning, saying he wanted to talk to her. He hadn’t even tried to get her alone today. He was giving her space. She didn’t know if she should be upset about that or not.
In her experience, men would try to get her to listen to them and didn’t care if she wanted space or not. They just barged their way in and made her listen to what they had to say. Jonathan wasn’t like that. He was giving her space, space she wasn’t sure she wanted anymore. Oh, she figured she’d talk to him before the day was out, but for now she couldn’t think about him and do her job.
She focused on Darius as he chased a chicken around a pen. He had to catch the thing then bring it to the block of wood they were using as a chopping block and cut its head off. Kina didn’t even want to watch it through the lens of her camera; she couldn’t imagine what the men felt like, actually doing it. The worst thing about it was the chicken running around without a head after the axe had been used. Kina always thought that was just a saying, ‘running around like a chicken with its head cut off’, but it was apparently true… Gross.
The competition was a timed one, as all of the men were expected to finish all of the tasks. The slowest man to finish would be the one to leave. Kina swore the men were deliberately trying to throw the competition. What did it say for your show when no one wanted to stay and they all wanted to be kicked off?
Kina watched the other men with only half an eye. She barely noticed when Roger went off into the bushes to throw up, after watching Nash cut the head off the chicken and get sprayed from head to foot with its warm blood.
Finally, the torturous day was over. All four of the men had finished the tasks. Shannel and Eddie lined the men up next to the pen which held the cows. Now they had to stand there and smell the cow manure and wait for Shannel to finish with h
er speech. Kina swore the hostess made it extra-long on purpose. Finally, she was done and it was time to name the slowest competitor for the day. Benedict had completed all of the tasks the slowest and would be leaving the show. Kina tried not to laugh at the look of relief that crossed his face. Even funnier was the looks on Roger, Darius, and Nash’s face when they realized they’d be staying for at least one more competition.
The ride back to the production house was quiet. Everyone except for Eddie and Shannel were now traveling in the same van, since they all fit.
Kina put her head on the seat behind her and closed her eyes. She was tired. Tired of trying to figure out where she and Jonathan stood, and honestly just tired of the whole camera operator gig. She never thought she’d feel that way. She remembered how much of a high it used to give her and the way she’d loved moving from show to show and getting the best shots. She thought about the joy she felt, watching the shows she’d worked on when they aired on television, recognizing her filming, being able to tell it apart from that of the other camera operators.
Now she never watched them. She’d lost the excitement she’d used to feel about her job. That made her sad. She felt lost. If she couldn’t do this, what could she do?
Nash’s words broke the silence in the van.
“I’m really sorry, Kina. We shouldn’t have broken the rules, but more importantly we shouldn’t have dragged you along to that shithole.”
Darius chimed in when Nash quit talking. “We had no idea what was going on. We wouldn’t have left you to deal with those assholes if we weren’t so drunk. I know it’s not an excuse, but we’re sorry.”
Kina expected it and wasn’t surprised when Roger added his apology to the others’. “We hope you can forgive us, Kina. We were stupid and you paid the price.”
Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) Page 12
