by Cora Brent
“What?”
Chase looked at me. “I stopped by your house today and talked to Saylor.”
“What did she say?”
“That life can’t be measured as a series of grand gestures. You just need to let the moments unfold. And then cherish them when they do.”
“Good advice.”
“Brilliant.”
“So take it.”
“I plan to. Can I have that bag of chips on your desk?”
Chase only hung around for another twenty minutes or so. He wanted to get home and clean up the apartment before Stephanie got there. He still seemed a bit distracted when he left Scratch. As I watched him walk away I silently reassured my brother that everything would be all right. It would be. He and Stephanie would be fine. I just knew it.
Since foot traffic had been light all day I made the spontaneous decision to close up shop early. Aspen and Brick practically ran out the door the moment the words left my mouth.
Because it was a long holiday weekend and because I’d been neglecting all my girls lately I’d already decided to keep the place closed until Tuesday. As I hung the sign on the door I really started to get eager about having three days off. On the way home I stopped at a drugstore and bought some sparklers because I knew the girls would get a kick out of them. Saylor would raise an eyebrow but she’d indulge me as long as there was no real danger and I’d make sure I was standing right beside the girls the whole time.
Before I checked out I also picked up a small bouquet of roses and a cheap bottle of wine. I had some seduction ideas for sure, but mostly I just wanted to see Saylor’s smile when I walked through the door.
“Cord! You’re home early!”
“Daddy!”
“Daddy’s home!”
I felt their arms and collected their kisses. Cami and Cassie demanded an immediate RSVP to a very important tea party they were hosting in their bedroom and Saylor lit up when she saw the flowers. When the girls scampered down the hall I pulled my wife to me, slipping my arms around her waist and sliding my tongue into her mouth. She responded eagerly, pressing her body close and issuing a small moan that kicked all my senses into high gear. She felt so good. She always felt good.
“Party time!” called Cami.
I pulled back a little. “Party time,” I said with some regret.
Saylor wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “Well Mr. Gentry, allow me to invite you a private party I’ll be hosting later this evening.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of festivities is the hostess planning?”
“Whatever strikes your kinky fancy, since you’re the guest of honor.”
I ran my finger down her cheek and over her lips. “In case I don’t say it enough, I love you, sweetheart.”
“You say it plenty. And I love you too.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?”
“We’re coming, honey,” Saylor called and then let out a little squeal as I picked her up and carried her in style to the best tea party that any two little girls ever planned.
After dinner we bathed the girls and got them ready for bed. I didn’t have any more great knight stories swimming around my brain at the moment so the girls contented themselves with listening to me read a story about three young bear cubs that wandered through the wilderness, lost and scared, managing to survive on their wits until the day came when they looked at one other and realized they were full grown bears.
They were asleep before I finished the story but I finished reading it anyway. It had a happy ending, as all children’s stories should.
Saylor had promised me a kinky show and I could have made creative use of her body in a dozen different ways. But all I wanted was to lay her down and tenderly slip inside of her. As soon as I felt her come I followed, driving in deep and staying put until every drop was released inside of her. And even though I’d told her I loved her several times today I said it again and stroked her hair as she fell asleep in my arms. I was happy to join her.
There’s something horrible about a ringing phone in the middle of the night. Some suppressed part of your mind rampages to the forefront, seizing your dream self and shrieking with alarm. Even before you open your eyes you are running a mental inventory of all the people who are precious to you and with relief you realize your wife is at your side and your babies are sleeping down the hall. As you sit up in the darkness, red numbers warn you that it is three a.m.
Nothing good ever happens at three a.m. In a panic you start thinking of names.
Chase.
Creed.
Deck.
By the time you reach the buzzing phone your heart is pounding and you don’t even see the caller identification as you touch the screen and swing the phone to your ear because you need to know right fucking now if something has happened to someone you love.
“Hello?”
“Cordero.” The other voice was sad, vaguely recognizable. “It’s Gaps. Officer Driscoll. I had your cell number handy so I figured I’d call you first.”
Emblem. The news had something to do with someone down in Emblem.
“Gaps.” I was fully awake. My heart was a thudding gong. What happened?”
“Shit, I’m sorry, Cord. Not right to have to tell you like this, but it’s your mother. Maggie is dead.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CREED
I had heard her the first time she said it but I still needed to hear it again. Somehow I’d been expecting this news before I walked through the door this afternoon, knew what was going to happen as I sat across the table from my brother at a greasy diner and told him about the events of the last few days. If Truly had known it all along too she couldn’t bring herself to say so out loud but now there was no hiding from it.
“Tell me again,” I said gently, taking my wife’s trembling hand.
“She’s gone,” Truly repeated in a dull voice, tears still flowing freely. One stalled on her left cheek and I tenderly wiped it away. Baby Jacob slept peacefully in her arms, spared the knowledge that his mother had abandoned him. Someday he would know. Someday it would hurt.
Truly had calmed down by the time she started to tell the story a second time. About an hour after I’d left to go meet Cord for lunch Mia had returned. She picked up the baby, kissed him gently, then returned him to Truly.
“Mia asked me if I loved her. I said of course I did. She asked if I loved Jacob. I told her that was a foolish question and that I adored Jacob. She smiled and said ‘I love you too, Tallulah Lee. When we were kids you were more of a mother to me that our mother ever was. I was lucky to have you. And now Jacob is lucky to have you. I think I knew the day he was born that I would be giving him to you.’ At that point she was starting to scare the living daylights out of me because I didn’t know what she was meaning to do. She’d asked me for some money the other day, five hundred dollars, and I gave it to her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about that, Creed.”
“Shush, it’s all right,” I said, frowning. Really, what the hell difference did money make right now?
“Well she apparently took that money and went to go see a lawyer. She had him draw up papers terminating her parental rights and giving us full custody of Jacob.”
Truly handed me a fat envelope. It was full of papers that had lots of small, typed paragraphs. At the end were signatures and a notary stamp.
“What’s this?” I asked, holding a plain white envelope that had fallen out of the larger one. It was sealed and labeled, simply, ‘Jacob’.
“A letter. Mia addressed it to Jacob. She said I was free to read it if I wanted but I haven’t.”
Carefully I replaced all the contents of the envelope. I folded the flap forward and tossed the whole thing on the coffee table. When things calmed down I would have to find a lawyer to tell me if all this was completely legal. But for now, Meridian Lee had signed over her child, quietly packed her belongings, and left, ignoring the tearful pleas of her sister.
“Creedence?” Truly wh
ispered. I stared into the anguish in her eyes. She already knew what I was going to say but it was still important that I say it.
I slid my arm around my wife’s shoulders and cupped my other hand around Jacob’s small head. He stirred and smiled in his sleep.
“We’ll raise him,” I said with certainty. “We will love him and treasure him as we would love any son of ours.” I felt the light touch of his hair on my palm. “Because as of right now he is our little boy.”
Truly closed her eyes for a moment. Several more tears squeezed out. There were still things that needed to be settled. But it was pretty obvious that Mia wasn’t coming back. It was obvious this had been her plan all along. I couldn’t despise her for it. At least she recognized that she was unable to care for the kid and so brought him to people who would. That was a hell of a lot more than my own mother ever did for me.
Truly opened her eyes again. “Creedence Gentry, for all your periodically sullen moods you are the most loving man. The best one I’ve ever known.”
Jacob pushed his fist in the air, opened his mouth in a wide yawn and then was awake all at once. Truly set him against her shoulder. His dark curls branched out riotously from his head and his face was still flushed with sleep. He blinked at Truly and then at me before breaking into a toothless grin.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Truly said softly and kissed his chubby little cheek. “How’s our boy?”
Our boy.
Yes, he was. And suddenly all the doubts I’d ever harbored about whether I would be a worthy father just evaporated. I looked at that sweet baby in my wife’s arms and my usually stubborn heart thawed out and threatened to start beating on the outside of my chest. I might have shed a few tears of my own if I’d been the tear-shedding type of guy.
I held out my arms and Jacob lurched in my direction. Truly allowed me to take him. I held him in my lap, supporting his body since he was still too wobbly to sit on his own. My hand covered his small back and a string of drool escaped from his lips as he stared at me expectantly. I’d never understood what it meant to feel vulnerable in the company of someone so helpless until I held my nieces for the first time. Now I was feeling it all over again as I held my son.
“Jacob Gentry,” I said out loud. It didn’t matter that there was still paperwork and lawyer bullshit to hammer out before it would be his legal name. As of right now that’s who he was.
Jacob kicked his legs and let out a full belly laugh.
Truly rested her head on my shoulder and touched his face. “Jacob Gentry,” she said.
The baby laughed again and we laughed with him. Even though someone who knew more about babies that I did would probably insist he had no idea what the words meant and couldn’t understand the significance of the moment, when I looked into his thrilled face I knew that was bullshit. He understood that he was happy and surrounded by people who loved him. That was everything.
“Jacob Gentry,” we said together and he threw back his head and shrieked with joy.
“Listen up, little guy,” I said. “I will do my damn best every single day to be the kind of dad you need. You can count on it.”
Jacob seemed to be paying close attention. He had a look on his face that was remarkably serious for a four-month-old.
Carefully I cradled him close to my chest, beside my heart. “As soon as you’re old enough,” I promised him, “I’m going to teach you how to play a guitar.”
The three of us sat there on the couch for a long time, just enjoying the new feeling of being together. Then Truly announced that she was going to whip up something special for dinner and started bustling around the kitchen. I switched on the television, flipped around until I found a baseball game, and then moved Jacob to the crook of my arm so he could face toward the television, not that he seemed especially interested. He plucked at the hair on my arms and idly tried to chew on my shirt.
At one point a glint of fabric caught my eye and I looked up to see Truly peeking from around the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. She had her hand to her lips.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Truly.” I held my hand out to her and she walked to me slowly. She took my hand and kissed the palm.
“We’re a family,” she choked out.
I pulled her back down to the couch, beside me and Jacob. Gently I pushed a lock of thick black hair out of her face.
“We were always a family,” I told her. “You and me, from the beginning.” I shifted Jacob’s position so that he was on my knee. “It’s just that we gained an important member today.”
“She’ll never come back,” Truly whispered. “I know she won’t.” She lowered her head and I kissed her softly because it was all I could do.
I understood that mixed in with Truly’s joy was a deep and impenetrable pain. She and her sisters had been incredibly close throughout their childhood, although due to terrible and tumultuous circumstances they had drifted apart long ago. These days she frequently talked to Augusta and Carolina but they no longer had the special bonds of youth and shared hardships. Despite the fact that she’d barely heard from Meridian these past few years, her permanent defection had now left a gaping hole. The Lee sisters were officially disbanded. I never worried that would happen to me and my brothers. We wouldn’t let it. We were stuck with each other forever.
It occurred to me that I should pick up the phone and enlighten the boys that through a twist of fate they now had a nephew. But that could wait until tomorrow. This day was all about the three of us.
When Truly served her legendary gumbo for dinner she placed Jacob in a bouncer atop the table so he could be there with us. He eagerly sucked on a bottle and kicked his bare feet around with a giggle when I tickled them.
“Can I give him some?” I asked, scooping a small bite onto a spoon.
“Creedence!” Truly hissed. “Absolutely not. You cannot give such a young baby solid food and you certainly cannot give him gumbo. Jakie is happy just with his bottle, aren’t you, little darling’?”
“Jakie,” I muttered, making a face. “Don’t do that to the poor kid. He’s got a good, strong name.”
“He’s a baby. I think Jakie sounds cute.”
“I guess, if he was an animated cat or something.”
“Stop,” Truly laughed.
I winked at Jacob and returned to my meal. Afterwards I cleaned up all the dishes while Truly cleaned up the baby. I could hear her in the bathroom, cooing sweetly as she bathed him in a portable little tub thing she’d picked up the other day. I smiled as I scrubbed the bowls clean and listened to the two of them. Most men had at least a few months to get used to the idea of looming fatherhood. But Jacob was here and I was ready to be whatever he needed.
As I wiped down the dining table, Truly returned, carrying a newly scrubbed Jacob. He hiccupped in his clean blue onesie and Truly nuzzled his cheek. I followed them to the living room where we spread out a soft cotton blanket and laid Jacob down on his belly. Watching a baby at play was a hell of a trip. He was fascinated by everything from his own fingers to a stuffed dog that had a plastic mirror on its back. I’d heard about a study once where some scientist tried to imitate an infant’s every move. He passed out or something after about twenty minutes.
By the time Jacob started looking somewhat sleepy the sky had darkened. I picked up his warm little body and let Truly lead the way to the bedroom he’d been sharing with his mother.
Already there was no trace of Mia around. She must have taken everything with her. Jacob was the only evidence that she’d ever been here at all.
I caught Truly casting a sad glance at the neatly made bed where her sister had slept. Briefly she ran her hand over the dark pink coverlet like it was a final farewell.
We settled Jacob into the crib together and Truly turned on a little box that played soft lullabies. The baby breathed deep and even, the gentle sleep of the innocent.
“Tomorrow we’ll get him a
better crib,” I promised her as we left the room. The crib he’d been sleeping in was small and portable. It wasn’t meant to be permanent. Jacob deserved something that was permanent.
Truly slipped her arms around my waist and laid her cheek on my chest.
“What a day,” she sighed.
“One for the books,” I agreed, stroking her hair and becoming acutely aware of the fact that her body was pressed up against mine.
She felt it. She cupped a hand down low. “I did promise you a parole hearing, didn’t I?”
That was it. She was getting fucked. Sweet and tender time was done. I dropped my pants.
“Hearing is over.”
We used each other backwards, forwards and sideways, with Truly warning me several times to keep the noise factor down. When we’d both been satisfied I shut off the lights and gathered her into my arms where she fell asleep in minutes. Happily exhausted, I was glad to close my eyes and let the bliss of sleep claim me too.
The next thing I knew a confusing noise had jarred me awake.
“What’s that? The baby crying?”
Truly groaned and rolled over. “Creed, the baby doesn’t ring when he cries. It’s your phone.”
I fumbled around on the nightstand until I found the stupid thing. If it was some dickhead telemarketer trying to sell me a cruise to the Bahamas I was going to rip him a new asshole. But one glance at the caller’s identity chilled me. It was far too late into the night to be calling for anything pleasant. By the time I got it up to my ear I was wide awake.
“Cord. What’s wrong?”
As I listened to my brother’s voice I was aware that other things were happening. The baby really did begin crying in the next room. Truly rose from bed, pulling on a robe as she went to him. The wall clock above the closet, which I’d barely noticed before, starting ticking so crazy loud it sounded like a bomb.
The news that Cordero delivered had been expected for a long time. It shouldn’t have made me feel like I was sinking right into the mattress. But it did.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
