This Courage of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  “Of course Glenn, you know that. What do you need?”

  I told her my entire plan and she thought it was amazing. She clued me in on what she had planned for all of us later tonight, and it was almost the exact same thing. Just went to show me that we both knew Cami all too well. I divvied up everything that needed to be done between the two of us and hung up. I had so much to get done in not enough time. I quickly wrote a note for Cami and then headed out. I didn’t need her thinkin’ I didn’t come home at all.

  When I walked through the doors to the admissions office at the community college, I was instantly transported back to freshman year of high school. Of course my first plan was to make it big with the band, but I also dreamt of going to college and becoming an architect if the whole rock star thing didn’t work out for all of us. Even though I hadn’t made it to college to pursue a degree in architecture, I secretly drew up the plans for the house I was havin’ built for Cami.

  “Glenn, what the hell are you doin’ here?” Bryce’s voice was the last one I expected to hear.

  I turned and noticed that Brandon was with him. “Hey guys, what are y’all doin’ here?”

  “Bro, we take classes here when we’re in town and online while we’re all on the road.”

  “Are you shittin’ me?” I was shocked. I had known these two practically my whole life and not once saw them as college goers. “That’s awesome. What are y’all majoring in?”

  “I’m majoring in business management, and Brandon is majoring in psychology.”

  No fuckin’ way. My mind was literally blown the minute the words came out of Bryce’s mouth. “I honestly had no idea. Man, don’t I feel stupid.”

  “No, we haven’t talked about it much, so no worries. We just figured we need somethin’ to fall back on if the whole band thing doesn’t work out, ya know?”

  “Yeah, I hear ya. All right guys, I gotta grab somethin’ and be on my way. See you guys in the mornin’?”

  “Absolutely, bro. See ya then.”

  We all waved good-bye as I made my way over to the middle aged woman behind a desk. “Hi there, I’m wonderin’ if I can get a course catalog and any information you have about financial aid and cost.”

  “Of course, love. Let me just grab that for ya.” Her voice was high pitched, but suited her well. She looked as though her shirt was strangling her neck and the wool pants she had paired with it were less than attractive. “Here you go, love. Anything else I can help ya with?”

  “No thanks, this will do. Thank you.” I waved with the stack of papers in my hand and practically ran out to my truck. I glanced at my watch and realized it was almost time to go and I still had one more stop to make.

  The engine came to life as I turned the key and I gunned it out of the parking lot. As I pulled onto the main road, I came to the first stop sign through town. I glanced in both directions, makin’ sure to look for cars. When I didn’t see any, I eased my way through the intersection, when suddenly I heard the unmistakable sound of screeching brakes. Before I could even react, the other truck came to a stop just short of running into the side of my truck.

  I let out a nervous sigh of relief as my head fell against my steering wheel. I counted to ten, then raised my head to make sure everyone was okay before I kept goin’. The guy in the truck that almost hit me tipped his hat and I gave him a wave, before I took my foot off of the brake and sped down the street. When I parked outside of the florist I couldn’t help but feel lucky as shit to still be breathing, but more than anything, I was just glad that Cami wouldn’t have to get that phone call.

  Chapter 11

  Cami

  When I got back to the apartment a little while later I was surprised to see that Glenn wasn’t there. I guess in the back of my mind I figured he would have wanted to work our issues out before he left in the morning. I dropped my keys on the counter right next to a half sheet of paper that had Glenn’s handwriting on it. I shook my head in disbelief, but as I read the words he wrote for me, my attitude quickly adjusted.

  To my loving wife,

  Though I’m not here to greet you, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to be. I am simply running a few errands. Could you please be ready by the time I get home? Dress is casual attire, so make sure you are comfortable, but still looking hot ;) Can’t wait to see your beautiful face when I get back.

  Love,

  Your jackass husband

  Just like that, my frown was erased from my face and replaced with a loving and adoring smile. No matter the situation, Glenn had a way of making me realize that it’s the little things that matter. It was just one example of why I fell in love with him and would continue to love him until death do us part.

  I couldn’t be sure what time he would be home, so I ran into our bedroom and changed into my new pair of pink cut off jean shorts and pulled on my white lace eyelet crop top. Though I had no idea what he had in store, I wanted to make sure I looked my best for him. I ran into the bathroom to freshen up my makeup when I heard the front door open. I kicked the bathroom door shut before Glenn had a chance to see me before I was all dolled up.

  Even though I didn’t want him coming in at the moment, he still usually would knock on the door and bug the crap out of me until I was ready. Since I heard him open the front door, he hadn’t made a peep. My brows pulled together as I tried to listen for his footsteps over my somewhat erratic breathing, but there was nothing but silence. I leaned forward towards the mirror to swipe the rest of my mascara on my lashes, when I decided to call out to him if he was going to be sneaky about being home.

  “Baby? Is that you? I’m in the bathroom.” I shouted through the closed door. When he still hadn’t answered me after a few minutes, I fluffed my hair and reached for the handle on the bathroom door. Just as I was pulling the door open a strong force pushed the edge of the door right into my forehead, causing me to fall back into the tub. I could feel the warm blood starting to run down my face as I sat there, disorientated and dazed.

  When my eyesight went back to normal, I saw a black masked figure coming at me. I tried to scream as loud as I could, but his hand was quickly over my mouth, silencing me. His other hand went straight to the back of my head, grabbing a large handful of hair as he started pulling me to my feet. The masked man drug me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, eventually throwing me onto the bed.

  I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could as I prayed for Glenn to show up. I knew screaming at this point would only make things worse, so I tried to keep my cries to a minimum. I let the tears fall from the corner of my closed lids without moving, just in case he was waiting for that. Flashes of what Kayla had told me about her “incident” with Wren ran through my mind and all I could do was silently pray that the same wouldn’t happen to me.

  I heard rustling around the apartment and took my chance to peek out and see where he had gone. Just as the setting sun peeked through the blinds, burning my retinas, so did the masked man’s face. He was hovering above me looking at me with those sinister blue eyes. I blinked rapidly, trying to get an idea of what he looked like, when he suddenly put a hand in front of my face. He slowly removed his glove finger by finger, and then raised the back of it to my cheek.

  My tears were still freely falling down, but he paid no mind to them. His hand slid down my cheek to my neck and then across my collarbone. My chest was heaving into his hand and he took this as a sign that I was urging him to go further. My legs and arms were pinned beneath him as he continued his assault on me. When his fingers touched the clasp in the middle of my bra he let out an aroused sigh.

  “Such beautiful silky skin, so soft to the touch. If I wasn’t such a gentleman, I would just take you now.” His voice was menacing, and right next to my ears, causing me to cry even harder.

  “Just get it over with.” I pleaded.

  “Oh, do you like it rough? I kind of thought you would.” He growled just before his hands ripped open my shirt, breaking the front clasp of my bra
, and exposing my bare breasts to him. “Ah, perfection.” He whispered.

  I cringed at his words, and desperately wanted to cover myself up, but couldn’t. My body shivered beneath his clammy touch as his fingers made their way down my exposed belly, dipping beneath my waistline. I braced myself for what was about to happen the best I could when suddenly my cell phone started ringing, causing him to sit up off of me as he looked back into the kitchen where the ringing was coming from. I knew this was the only chance I was going to get, so I rammed my knee into his crotch. He hunched over in pain and I pushed him off of me, running to the kitchen to grab my purse and phone, and then I ran as fast as my feet would carry me.

  I didn’t stop until I was down the steps that lead to our apartment and around the corner. We had huge bushes that concealed the downstairs neighbors patio, so I quickly ducked down into them as I clutched my belongings and my shirt to my chest. I tried to even out my breathing as I heard slow deliberate footsteps coming down in my direction. I rummaged through my purse as quietly as I could in search of my phone as I peeked through the tiny cracks in the bushes I sat behind, just waiting to get a glimpse of the guy.

  I sent a text to Glenn telling him to get home now and fast. I told him not to ask any questions and that it was a matter of life or death. I watched as the guy in front of me paced back and forth looking for any signs of me, when a brilliant idea crossed my mind. I slid my phone to vibrate and held it up in my trembling hands. I waited for the just the right moment and then snapped a picture of him. Just as the picture dropped into the saved box on the screen his eyes caught mine. I held my breath as he slowly walked in my direction. His hand that was now holding his mask reached out for me. I clenched my eyes shut, but they shot open when I heard sirens in the distance and the rustling of the bushes. I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see what was coming next, but suddenly he was gone.

  I let my head fall back against the patio fence as my eyesight went blurry. I knew that Glenn wouldn’t be able to find me if I stayed where I was, so I made my way out of the bushes and onto the curb, making sure I held my shirt tightly closed. When I saw the police cruisers and Glenn’s truck coming up the drive towards me, I fell to my side and the entire world went black. All I could hear was my faint heartbeat, but seconds later, even that faded out.

  When I opened my eyes I knew exactly where I was. I tried to lift my head in search of Glenn or anybody for that matter, but the throbbing that radiated through my skull instantly crippled me. I blinked a few times making the room come into focus when his eyes caught mine, stopping my worry but fueling my tears. He ran to my side, pulling me into his strong arms as I wrapped mine tightly around his neck.

  “You’re okay.” He whispered. “I’m here, baby. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  I knew he had the best intentions, but I couldn’t help but wonder if we both wouldn’t have been so god damned stubborn today, would I still be in this mess? “Did they catch him?” I muttered into Glenn’s chest.

  “No they didn’t. I’m so sorry, baby. I can’t believe I wasn’t there to protect you.”

  I was now in complete hysterics and unable to speak so I just shook my head. This wasn’t his fault and I wouldn’t let him think it was, not for one more second. I pointed at my purse that was sitting on the small table next to my bed and Glenn happily handed it to me. I dug through it in search of my phone but couldn’t find it. I began to get frantic, but Glenn clutched my hands in his calming me down.

  “Are you looking for this?” My silver iPhone glimmered in his hand and I lunged for it as I breathed a sigh of relief. “I already called Kayla and Madison. They’re on their way up here. I’ll put it back in your purse.”

  He reached for my phone, but I quickly pulled it out of his grasp and held it tight as I started going through my pictures. “Look!” I half shouted as I turned the phone and showed him the picture on the screen. “That’s him.”

  “How did you…you’re amazing Cami. I’ll go show the police.”

  I nodded and he disappeared behind the curtain that separated my bed from the others. I let out a long exasperated sigh as I fell back onto the pillow behind me. Unfortunately, relaxing was the last thing I was going to be able to do. Despite the fact that I had a picture of the asshole that did this to me, he was still out there. Worst of all, this monster knew where I lived. And as much as I wanted to worry about myself, all I could do was think that my husband was about to leave me for six weeks and I was going to be completely alone. Before I could think too much about it, Kayla appeared before me and I fell into her arms sobbing like a little baby.

  Chapter 12

  Glenn

  My heart dropped and bile rose in my throat the minute her text came through. I wasn’t sure of the situation I was walking into, but I would go to the ends of the earth for my wife no matter what the situation may be. But nothing could have prepared me for what had happened to her. I felt helpless and in the back of my mind, I knew she would never forgive me for not being there to protect her.

  “Here you go, officer. My wife managed to get a picture of the perpetrator before he took off.” I made sure to memorize the picture of the asshole before handing over the phone to the police. If they didn’t catch the son-of-bitch, I sure as hell would.

  “Your wife is one smart lady. I’ll have to borrow this and get it back to her as soon as I can. Will she be okay without it?”

  I nodded and turned to head back to Cami. I knew she was gonna freak out not havin’ a phone, given that I was gonna be gone, so I made a mental note to get a cheap prepaid phone before I left. When I got back to the room, Cami and Kayla were sittin’ on the bed chattin’ away. I saw a small smile tug at the corners of Cami’s mouth and it made me smile as well. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I knew she would be in good hands.

  “Hey man, how ya holdin’ up?” Madison’s hand came down on my shoulder, causin’ me to jump a bit. “Sorry, man.”

  “It’s cool. I’m fine. I just wanna get the bastard who did this. That, and I’m not sure how leavin’ is gonna go with her?” I pointed at Cami who looked up just then and smiled at me, melting my heart where I stood.

  “Hey, if anyone knows what you’re talkin’ about, it’s me. I promise you, we’ll get the guy. Look, I called Tony and tried to convince him to let us leave a different day, but he said there is no wiggle room unless we want to cancel the rest of the tour. I told him I’d talk to you first.”

  I glanced over at Madison, knowing if I told him to cancel he would, but he would hate me for it. I knew he understood what I was goin’ through, but I also knew that there was nothin’ I could do right now. “Let me talk to Cami and see what she says.”

  “Sounds good. Oh, but I did get him to change the time that we leave tomorrow. Instead of six in the mornin’, we don’t have to be to the airport until six tomorrow night.”

  “Thanks, Madison. I appreciate it.”

  “No worries. All right, well it looks like the rest of the night is a bust. Sorry you don’t get to carry out your plan, but maybe when we back home in a couple of months?”

  “Yeah.” I muttered as I started walkin’ towards my wife. I sat on the bed next to her and placed a light kiss to the cut on her forehead. She sighed as she leaned into me, and I could tell that she was exhausted. “You feelin’ okay, baby?”

  “Yeah, just tired is all. When do I get to go home?”

  Just as she asked, the doctor came walkin’ into the room. He explained how to take care of her wound and all that good stuff, and then gave us Cami’s discharge papers and a prescription for painkillers. I stood and shook the doctor’s hand, and then he left us to get ready to go. My mind was overrun with about a million and one things, and I was findin’ it extremely hard to focus on any one particular thing.

  “Babe, you ready to go?” Cami’s voice echoed in the small curtained off area, and I was instantly pulled out of my daze.

  “Whenever you are.” I a
nswered.

  “I’m ready now.” She sighed.

  I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the emergency room and out towards the exit. Madison and Kayla were right behind us, not sayin’ a word. I wasn’t sure, but I had a feelin’ this whole ordeal was about to change the dynamics of each of our relationships. When we exited the hospital, we said goodbye to Madison and Kayla and were on our way. Now that Cami and I were completely alone, I took the opportunity to ask her about what happened.

  “You feelin’ okay?” I figured I would start slow. I knew Cami all too well, and if I pushed too hard right away, she would close off.

  I glanced over and caught her fidgeting with her seat belt before she finally answered. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m still shaken up.”

  I placed my hand on her knee tryin’ to soothe her anxiety as much as I possibly could. “I’m so sorry, Cam.”

  “Glenn.” She put her hand up to stop me from talkin’. “It isn’t your fault. I don’t need you apologizing every five minutes because the guilt of everything is getting to you. Shit happens.” She sat staring out the window the entire time she spoke. As much as I wanted to believe it wasn’t my fault, she sure wasn’t tryin’ very hard to prove me wrong.

  “I’m still sorry, for everything. So I know you told the police what happened, but I would kind of like to know. Are you okay with tellin’ me?”

  “I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I know whatever I tell you is only going to fuel your anger. I’m not trying to add fuel to that fire you got boiling up inside you right now. And it doesn’t matter what happened. It’s over now, and I just want to forget it ever happened.”

  I nodded my head in agreement as she sat their starin’ at me, just waitin’ for an answer she wanted to hear. Inside I was furious, and not just with the guy who did this to her. No, I was startin’ to get just as mad with her because now she was puttin’ back up her walls, just like she promised she wouldn’t. Obviously I had no idea how she was really feelin’ about he whole thing, but that wasn’t my fault. I was tryin’ my damndest to be here for her, but unfortunately she didn’t want my help.