This Courage of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  Glenn was immediately at my side with the bottle of my painkillers. “Here baby, take these.” He handed me two pills and a bottle of water. I quickly swallowed them, and then sat there rocking myself until the pain subsided a bit.

  “What happened?” Glenn’s accusatory tone was directed at my mother.

  “She just fell.”

  “It wasn’t her fault. I was shaking my head while I was talking to her and then the pain just hit. It’s okay. Dr. Thomas said this would happen. That’s why he prescribed me all the medication he did.” The sharpness was starting to ease up a bit, so I had Glenn help me stand and walk me over to the chair. I looked over at my mother to see how she was handling all of this, but she was busy staring off at nothing. “Mom, are you okay?” She was quickly brought out of her daze.

  “Don’t you worry about me, love. Are you okay?” I nodded with a smile on my face. It was nice having my mom care. “I’ll be right back.” She patted my leg and then headed inside.

  “Are you okay, baby?” I nodded to reassure him, but he looked anything but. “Why didn’t you tell me that you scheduled your surgery for tomorrow? Why so soon?”

  “Why not? The longer I wait, the worse the symptoms will get. I don’t want to live my life like that, always in pain and worried that something might happen. That’s not a way to live. And I was going to tell you before my mom asked to talk to me. Why would you want me to wait?” I tried to read Glenn’s face to see what he was thinking.

  “What if I lose you? What if you go in tomorrow morning and you don’t come out? Then what happens to me? I just feel like we don’t have enough time.”

  I grabbed Glenn’s face and tilted it down to look at me. “I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever. If god forbid something does happen, then it was my time to go and I’m okay with that.”

  “But I’m not.”

  “You have to be. The odds are on our side, babe. I know it’s not a guarantee, but it’s something. Now stop worrying so much and kiss me.” Glenn turned around, picked me up in his arms and kissed me so hard that it literally took my breath away.

  ****

  We all sat down and had a good cry, before we all made the mutual decision to get over it and move on for the day. Because my mom was now staying for a bit longer, we decided to take her to see the house, which she actually asked to see, and then we headed out for dinner. We had finished eating and decided to order some after dinner drinks. My mom’s idea, not so much mine.

  “Well I have to say, I absolutely love the house. It’s amazing.”

  “Thanks Mom, Glenn actually designed it.” I gave Glenn a proud look as I reached for his hand.

  “Well done, Glenn. You know if the whole being a rock star thing doesn’t work out for you, at least you have something to fall back on.”

  We both started laughing simultaneously. “That’s exactly what we thought.”

  “Cami, I need you to be calm. I know you told me not to, but I didn’t have a choice.”

  “Mom, what the hell did you do?”

  “Cami Renee, watch your mouth. Just don’t hate me, please.”

  I followed my mom’s line of sight all the way to the front of the restaurant where my brother had just entered, and was making his way in our direction. I turned my glare onto my mother and had to stop myself from unleashing on her. Where the hell did she get off? Instantly, I regretted telling her about the tumor. At least my brother was just about as happy to see me, as I was to see him. This should go well.

  Chapter 29

  Glenn

  Mike stared me down the entire time he was walkin’ to the table, and it took everything in me not to get up and pummel his ass. Instead, I made a promise to myself, to wait and hear him out before doin’ anything that would piss off my wife. When he got to our table, he stood there in front of Cami not sayin’ a word. What the hell was his deal?

  “Well hello there, Mike. Fancy seeing you here.” It made me smile knowin’ that she wasn’t goin’ to take his shit.

  “Cami, can you stand up please?” Cami looked over at me before she finally stood.

  I was on edge waitin’ to see what was gonna happen as Cami stood in front of her brother. It’s not like I thought he would hit her or anything like that, but from what little I knew about my brother-in-law, it was evident that he was unpredictable to say the least. My hands slowly clenched into fists, just waitin’ to be used if needed. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins and my heart was pumping hard against my chest. Just one wrong move asshole, and you’re mine.

  “Why are you here, Mike?” Cami’s voice was shy and timid all of a sudden, and I shook my head in disappointment. Why was she so afraid of him?

  “I’m sorry, Cam. For everything I’ve done, everything I’ve said, I’m just sorry.”

  I watched a stray tear fall from the corner of my wife’s eye as her brother wrapped her up in a tight embrace. Watchin’ her brother comforting her and takin’ responsibility for bein’ an ass, made me realize that maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all. My hands relaxed and my heart began to slow as I took in the sight before me. I glanced over at Olivia who was a blubbering mess. I handed her my napkin, then took a long sip from my coffee.

  “Glenn.” I looked over at Mike who was holding his hand out for me to shake. “Look, I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to jump on both of you like that. We cool?”

  I stood up and took Mike’s hand in mine, givin’ it a bit of a squeeze. “I accept your apology Mike, but the fact that you’re only doin’ this now because of Cami’s tumor, is sad. Your apology feels disingenuous to say the least, but for your sister’s sake, yeah we’re good.” I let go of his hand and he made a small whimpering sound.

  I sat back down at the table to finish my cup of coffee, ignoring most of the pseudo reunion that was goin’ on in front of me. I understand why Cami was so quick to forgive and forget with her brother, but fearing that you’re gonna die, isn’t the right reason to do so. At least I didn’t think so. My phone started vibrating in my pocket and I was thankful to not have to listen to this bogus conversation anymore.

  “Baby, I gotta scoot past you and answer this. You gonna be okay?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Hurry back though, please.”

  “Will do.” I kissed Cami on the forehead and made my way out of the restaurant. “Hello?”

  “Hey, how’s it goin’? We haven’t heard from either of you all day, just wanted to check in with ya.”

  Man was I thankful for Madison at this moment. “Let’s just say I owe you, big time. You’ll never believe who showed up in the great state of Texas, just like twenty minutes ago.”

  “Uh, I have no idea. Should I know?”

  “Cami’s brother.”

  “Oh shit! How’d that go? Wait, I thought you said that him and Cami tried talking the other day, but he pretty much blew her off?”

  “It’s been quite a day for sure. Cami and her mom made peace this mornin’, and then she told her about the tumor. Her mom even apologized to me. It was all very, Twilight Zoney.”

  “I’m pretty sure Zoney isn’t a word, you jackass.”

  “Sure it is. I just made it one.” I laughed.

  “So wait, why is Mike here?”

  “Good ole Olivia invited him here. Cami specifically asked her not to call and tell Mike what was goin’ on because she didn’t want him to apologize just because she is sick. Of course her awesome listener of a mother didn’t listen at all.”

  “Wow. I would love to be a fly on the wall at your house later.” He laughed.

  “Laugh it up all you want, dick. I’m comin’ to stay at y’alls house.”

  “Like hell you are. So, on a more serious note, how’s Cami holdin’ up? How are you holdin’ up?”

  “I’m actually okay, given the circumstances. Cami says she’s okay, but I can tell she’s scared shitless. She called this mornin’ and set up her surgery for tomorrow mornin’, and didn’t even talk to me about it first.”
>
  “Sorry, man. Well Kayla and I were gettin’ worried. She hasn’t talked to Cami all day. You wanna call me later?”

  “Yeah, I’ll call ya when we get home. Tell Kayla I’ll have Cami call her too. I’m sure Kayla will want to be there in the mornin’.”

  “Sounds good. It’ll all be okay, Glenn. Call me if you need to.”

  I hung up the phone and started makin’ my way back to our table. I honestly didn’t feel like talkin’ to Cami’s brother anymore, but it was startin’ to look like I didn’t have much of a choice. I swear, sometimes I just wish things were easy, like you see in the movies. Life would be a piece of cake then.

  Chapter 30

  Cami

  Glenn hadn’t said a single word since we left the restaurant, and I couldn’t blame him. My brother showing up was a shock to both of us, one we weren’t at all prepared to deal with right now. As much as I wanted to believe that my brother was being genuine, I had the distinct feeling he wasn’t. Just because I may or may not be facing death, doesn’t mean he could just come waltzing back into my life and expect me to be okay with everything he has said and done.

  My mom was riding back to the apartment with my brother, so I took this opportunity to talk to Glenn and get everything out in the open before tomorrow. There was no way I was going in for a surgery like that, wondering if my husband was mad at me or not.

  “Babe, are you okay?” I placed my hand on his knee while he was driving, and tried to soothe his anger.

  “I’m fine. I just hate your brother. I’m sorry. I know you’re related to him, but what a cocksucker. Does he really think that one tiny apology can make up for everything he has said and done to you, and me? Gah, the nerve.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t believe a word he said tonight.”

  “You don’t?” He sounded shocked.

  “Of course I don’t. Finding out that your sibling has a brain tumor that she is having an operation for, makes you do crazy things. He’s just saying what he thinks I want to hear, so if anything does happen, he won’t feel guilty. It’s sad that this is what our relationship has come to. So, who called you earlier?”

  “It was Madison. Him and Kayla were worried about you. He says she hasn’t heard from you all day, that true?”

  “When was I supposed to call and talk to her? I just haven’t had a free minute. I’ll call her when we get home though. Speaking of not talking to people, when is the last time you talked to your brother, or your parents for that matter?”

  “Ah, we’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you.”

  “Fine.” I pouted. “I’ll call Kayla when we get home and you call your family. Deal?”

  “Deal. Cami?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you nervous, about tomorrow?” I could hear the trepidation in his tone.

  I grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “I’m terrified. What if something goes wrong and I don’t wake up? What if the tumor is bigger than they anticipated and they can’t get it all? I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way right now, but it’s hard not to.”

  “I’m scared, too. But I also know that we need to stay positive.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Well here we are. Home sweet home.”

  “I’d watch the home sweet home bit, or did you forget that my mom and my brother are in there.”

  “Ah, almost. Come on. Let’s get you showered and ready for bed. You need to get some sleep.”

  “I’m being put under tomorrow, I’ll technically be sleeping for quite some time.” I laughed.

  When we got inside, my mom and my brother were out back on the patio talking. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with either of them at the moment, so I opted to go take a shower instead. “You joining me?” I peeked around the corner at Glenn and his eyes went wide with desire. Just because I have a brain tumor, doesn’t mean I couldn’t still do the one thing I couldn’t resist.

  “Hell yes, I’m comin’.”

  I giggled as Glenn chased me all the way into the bathroom, eventually pinning me against the counter, as he stripped my clothing from me as fast as he could. His lips left a heated trail everywhere they touched my skin. I could feel my desire for him starting to soak through my panties. I grabbed the back of his hair and gave it a nice tug, as I melded my lips onto his. Our tongues massaged one another as his hands found their way to the most needy part of my body.

  His deft fingers made quick work of pushing my panties to the side and entering me. One finger at a time, he rubbed and massaged me. And just as he brought me to the brink of ecstasy, he removed his fingers from me all together. “Don’t stop.” I whispered.

  “Get in the shower.” He moaned.

  As soon as my feet hit the cool porcelain, they were suddenly in the air. Glenn had picked me up, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist as he positioned himself at my entrance.

  “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want you, Glenn. I want you inside of me.”

  “As you wish.” Without another word, he was slowly lowering me onto his length.

  My mouth fell open in pure bliss. He slowly started moving me up and down, and with every movement I found myself trying not to let go too soon. I wanted to savor this moment, every single second of it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing feather like kisses all up and down it as I found my way to his earlobe. I sucked and bit down gently enough to make Glenn’s already impressive length fill me up completely. With a few more pumps, I was falling over the edge and clutching onto Glenn for dear life. Seconds later, Glenn joined me and we rode out our orgasms together.

  Glenn slowly lowered me back onto my unsteady feet, holding me up just in case I had a dizzy spell. Just when I thought my husband couldn’t treat me any better, he turned me around and started washing my hair for me. After he was done with that, he grabbed my loofa and washed the rest of my body, gently caressing all the right places. I knew what he wanted to do again, but I just didn’t have the strength in me to do it. Before he could get any further, I shook my head no and kissed him on the cheek.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I don’t feel very well.”

  “You never have to apologize to me, Cami. Do you want me to get your medicine for you?”

  “No, it’s okay. I’ll go grab it when I call Kayla. I’m gonna get out. That okay with you?” I felt bad. I didn’t want Glenn to think that I didn’t want to be around him, but right in this moment, I needed to talk to my best friend before I had a complete meltdown.

  “Of course it’s okay. Tell her I say hi. I won’t be too much longer.”

  I kissed Glenn’s forehead, and then his lips. “I love you.”

  “Love you too, baby.”

  I got out of the shower and quickly dried off, then pulled on my pajamas. I ran my brush through my hair quickly as I left the bathroom to go in search of my meds and my phone, both of which I found in my purse right where I had left it. I grabbed a glass of water, and then headed back into my room. I really wasn’t in the mood to have my mom or my brother listening in on my conversation with Kayla.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me. Whatcha up to?”

  “Oh, not a whole lot. Just put Mia down, and now Madison and I are just relaxing on the couch. What’s goin’ on? I haven’t heard from you all day.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, it has been one of those days.”

  “So I heard. The devil and her spawn are here now, huh?”

  I laughed at the nicknames she had bestowed upon my mom and brother. “Sure are. And it has been oh so fun, let me tell you.” I laughed. “My mom actually has been amazing today. She had a long talk with Glenn this morning and even apologized to him, without coercion.”

  “No fucking way?”

  “Yep, and then to top it all off, she apologized to me too. She even asked to go see the house, and complimented Glenn when she found out that he was the one who designed it. It’s all been a lit
tle too weird for my liking.”

  “I would guess so. So, you ready for tomorrow?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be. I’m scared, but Glenn made a good point earlier. I just need to stay positive. Everything is going to be okay, I just have to believe it. So I go in at seven, but my surgery isn’t until eight thirty. Did you want to be there? I completely understand if you can’t make it.”

  “I’ve already talked to my grandparents and told them everything. They say that they love you and will come see you as soon as they can. Also, my gran says she’s praying for you. Gotta love that woman. They’re gonna watch Mia for us for as long as I need them to. So, I’m all yours tomorrow.”

  “Tell them I say thank you. Thank you, Kayla.”

  “No thank you necessary, you know that. All right, go get some sleep. I’ll see your beautiful face in the morning. Love you, Cam.”

  “Love you too, Kay. Night.”

  My medicine was starting to kick in rather quickly, and my eyes suddenly became extremely heavy. Glenn still wasn’t out of the shower, so I pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. I was just gonna wait for Glenn, but my body had another idea. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

  Chapter 31

  Glenn

  I woke up a good hour before Cami. I wanted her to get as much sleep as she could. I was just about to pour myself another cup of coffee, when I heard the guest bedroom door open. I refused to turn around and see who it was until I had a full cup of caffeine in my hands, to deal with whoever it was. Knowing my luck, it was gonna be Mike and I’m pretty sure that conversation wasn’t going to go real well.

  “Morning.” Of course it was him.

  “Mornin’. I replied as I made my way out to the back patio. Unfortunately, Mike took that as an invitation to join me. “Look Mike, I really don’t feel like gettin’ into it with you this mornin’. Today is about your sister and that’s exactly what I’m going to be focusing on.”

  “Just give me five minutes, Glenn. That’s all I’m asking for.”