‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Ruth.
‘Shut up!’ Angel yelled, slamming her fist down on the tabletop. ‘You probably came up with it, ’cos that’s the kind of twisted thing you’d do.’
‘Angel, this is my doing, it’s got nothing to do with your mum,’ Johnny told her firmly. ‘She only found out a couple of days ago – same as me.’
‘Don’t talk to me,’ Angel spat, glaring at him with the grief of betrayal in her eyes. ‘You’re my dad – you’re supposed to look after me.’
‘I have,’ Johnny said helplessly. ‘I will. But we had to tell you – you understand that, don’t you?’
‘No,’ she sobbed, shaking her head and clutching at her stomach. ‘No, I don’t understand. Me and Ryan love each other, and you just want to destroy us because your marriage is a joke. But you can’t. No one can. ’Cos we’re too strong for that.’
‘You’re brother and sister,’ Johnny told her.
‘I don’t care,’ Angel hissed. ‘That’s your problem, not ours. We’re married, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’
‘Angel, get real,’ Johnny groaned. ‘What do you think’s going to happen when the baby’s born? There’s every chance it’ll be deformed.’
‘I . . . don’t . . . care,’ Angel said slowly and angrily. ‘It’s our baby, and we’ll love it whatever it looks like.’
‘It’s not just what it looks like that you’ve got to worry about,’ Johnny told her. ‘It could have brain damage, or be blind, or deaf. Anything could be wrong with it.’
‘I’ve made an appointment at the clinic,’ Ruth chipped in. ‘The sooner we get it taken care of, the sooner we’ll be able to sort out the rest of this mess.’
‘How dare you?’ Angel snarled. ‘You’ve got no right, and I won’t go. I am having my baby, and if you try to stop me I’ll go to the police. And I mean it. You’re not murdering my baby.’
Rita had wandered in. She tutted loudly when she heard this, and said, ‘Don’t you come marching in here shouting the odds like you’re the queen bee, lady, ’cos you’ve had your own flaming way for too damn long. This is our house.’ She pointed from herself to Ruth. ‘And we’ll decide what happens in it.’
‘Stick your house,’ Angel yelled at her. ‘And stick you. I’ve never liked it here, anyway. Come on, Ryan, we’ll go to your mum’s.’
‘We can’t,’ he said, the shock still evident in his voice.
‘Fine, then we’ll go to my Aunt Lisa’s. She won’t turn us away.’
‘You’re going nowhere,’ Johnny said firmly. ‘Just sit down, ’cos we’re going to talk about this whether you like it or not.’
He stared at his daughter, and she stared stubbornly back.
‘Don’t make me say it again,’ he warned her quietly.
Lips closed tight, nostrils flaring, Angel grabbed her chair and dragged it right up next to Ryan’s before sitting down.
‘Go on, then,’ she said icily. ‘Talk. But it won’t make any difference. We’re still going to be married, and I’m still going to have this baby.’
39
The next few months were hell on Earth for Johnny. Angel wouldn’t budge, and he knew that she would follow through with her threat to leave home if they pressurised her – and there would be nothing they could do to stop her.
Nothing legal, anyway.
Angel loved Ryan too much to let him go, and no matter how many times Johnny and Ruth reminded her that he was her half-brother she just didn’t care. Echoing what Ryan’s mother had already said, she argued that they hadn’t grown up together, so therefore there was nothing dirty or weird about it.
Ryan, on the other hand, just couldn’t get his head around it at all. He was still too shell-shocked to really deal with any of it.
Ruth and Rita wanted Johnny to send him home to his mother. But Johnny knew exactly what would be waiting for Ryan there, so he couldn’t bring himself to do it. And he argued that at least if Ryan was here where they could see him, they had a chance of keeping this awful secret contained. Anyway, if Ryan left Angel would follow him, so it was better to let him stay – for now.
Angel’s last month was especially difficult. Her stomach was enormous, and her ankles were so swollen that she could barely walk. But she couldn’t visit the doctor because she was terrified of somebody in authority finding out and taking the baby off her – as her mum and her nan had ominously told her would happen. And that was why she agreed to a home birth when they suggested it, even though she knew that something could go wrong and she would have no pain relief. But she decided that she would sooner take the pain than risk losing the baby.
Drained by the stress of it all, Angel spent the last few days of her pregnancy in bed. The pain started as soon as she woke up on the final day, but it was several hours before her waters finally broke and her labour really got under way.
Ruth and Rita were ready. They shoved Ryan out of the room, telling him that it was no place for men, and then they watched and waited as Angel writhed in agony.
‘I want my dad,’ she cried, thrashing from side to side as the pain tore through her.
‘He’s at work,’ her mum told her.
‘Ring him,’ Angel begged.
‘I have,’ her mum said. ‘He’s busy. He promised to come as soon as he can.’
Angel had never before felt such agonising pain and there were moments as the next few hours ticked by when she thought that she was going to die. But there was no such escape, and the pain just kept on coming.
Miraculously, she fell asleep for a few minutes in the early evening, but when she woke she heard her mum and her nan whispering on the other side of the room.
‘I’m getting a bit worried,’ her mum said. ‘Maybe we should call an ambulance.’
‘And ruin the plan?’ her nan hissed. ‘We’ve come this far, so don’t go panicking now.’
‘I know, but it’s going to be so hard.’
‘Shut up! Or do you want her to cotton on?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘Well, button it, then. And go and check on the blackie. Make sure he doesn’t come bursting in.’
‘Ryan,’ Angel murmured. ‘I want Ryan.’
‘Not now, love,’ Ruth said soothingly. ‘Men don’t belong at births. He’s happier downstairs watching telly.’
‘My dad . . . ?’
‘Still no word. I’ll ring him again in a bit.’
Rita yanked Ruth’s arm and jerked her head at her, gesturing for her to do as she’d been told.
Angel was gripped by fear now as well as pain. She didn’t know what they had been talking about, but her instincts told her that they were up to something. They were keeping Ryan away from her and she suspected that they hadn’t rung her dad at all, because he would have come straight home if he’d known.
Between contractions, she looked around for her mobile and was relieved when she saw it on the bedside table. She licked her dry lips.
‘I need a drink, nan. Can you get me some water?’
‘In a minute,’ Rita told her. ‘I don’t want to leave you on your own, so just wait till your mum comes back up, eh?’
Angel nodded as if she was willing to wait. Then she coughed. And coughed again.
‘All right, calm down,’ Rita said when she started making choking sounds. ‘I’ll get the flaming water.’
When her nan left the room, Angel grabbed her phone and rang her dad. She sobbed when she got the busy tone and dialled Lisa’s number instead.
‘Help me,’ she whispered when Lisa answered. ‘The baby’s coming and – aagggghhh!’
The fiercest contraction yet washed over her, and she gripped the phone so hard that she disconnected the call before dropping it.
‘Okay, love, we’re here.’ Ruth bustled back in with her mother on her heels. Rita was carrying a glass of water that she plonked down before raising the sheet to have a look at what was happening down below.
‘I can see the h
ead.’
‘Soon be over,’ Ruth told Angel.
Angel’s mobile started to ring. Rita spotted it on the floor and snatched it up. Seeing Lisa’s name on the screen, she sneered and switched it off.
The house phone immediately began to ring. Rita ran out onto the landing in time to see Ryan come out of the front room and go to answer it.
‘Leave it,’ she ordered, rushing down the stairs. ‘It’s for me, I’m expecting a call.’
‘How’s Angel doing?’ Ryan asked, his worry clearly visible in his shining eyes.
‘Fine,’ Rita told him. ‘Shouldn’t be long now. Why don’t you make yourself useful and go get the washing out of the machine, eh? You can hang it on the line for me – give you something to do while you’re waiting.’
Ryan nodded, and went off into the kitchen as Rita answered the phone.
‘Is Angel okay?’ Lisa asked.
‘Absolutely fine, nothing for you to worry about,’ Rita told her.
‘She just rang and said the baby was coming.’
‘Yes, well, me and her mum are with her, so it’s all under control,’ Rita assured her. ‘Anyway, got to go. We’ll ring you when it’s over.’
‘Is Johnny there?’
‘Not yet. Bye.’
Rita slammed the phone down and rushed back upstairs.
‘Lisa,’ she whispered when Ruth gave her a questioning look. ‘She rang her.’ She nodded at Angel. ‘Told her it was on its way. I said we’d ring her to let her know when it’s done, but you’d best hope it’s fast, ’cos I wouldn’t put it past nosy-knickers to come round.’
Ruth nodded and looked down at Angel.
‘Just a few more pushes, love.’
40
Dave was on his way home from work when Lisa rang him.
‘Johnny’s not with you, is he?’ she asked before he could speak. ‘I’ve been trying to ring him, but his phone’s engaged.’
‘He’s probably got it in his pocket and sat on it again,’ Dave told her, chuckling softly. ‘He’s always doing that – ends up ringing random numbers. Have you tried the yard line?’ he asked. ‘He was still there checking out some new motors when I left. Mind you, he probably won’t hear it if he’s outside, and it might have already switched over to answerphone mode.’
‘Damn it,’ Lisa hissed. ‘I’ll just have to keep trying.’
‘Something up?’ Dave asked.
‘Yeah, Angel rang to tell me she was in labour, and she said she needed help. But it got cut off, and she didn’t answer when I rang her back.’
‘Try the house phone,’ Dave suggested. ‘Her credit might have gone.’
‘I rang the house and Rita answered,’ Lisa told him. ‘She said her and Ruth have got everything under control, but I’ve got a funny feeling so I’m going to go round there.’
‘You might be best leaving them to it,’ Dave advised. ‘You know what they’re like – they won’t appreciate the interference if they’ve got it sorted.’
‘I know what you mean,’ Lisa agreed. ‘But I can’t just sit here. She sounded really scared, Dave. If something goes wrong . . .’
‘Look, I’m not too far away,’ Dave told her. ‘I’ll call in and see what’s happening, and let you know. Okay?’
‘Thanks,’ she murmured gratefully. ‘I’ll try Johnny again, then I’ll catch a cab over.’
Angel was screaming his name, and Ryan couldn’t bear it. He wanted to go up to her so bad, but Ruth and Rita had made it clear that he wasn’t welcome. And, under the circumstances, he thought it was probably best to stay out of the way.
He and Angel might be legally married, and they might have slept together, but that was before they had found out that they were related. He still loved her, and she loved him just as deeply, but he just couldn’t behave the way she wanted him to. She wanted to carry on as if nothing had changed, but it had, so he hadn’t been able to do it.
And he definitely didn’t want to go into that room right now and see her privates – especially not in front of her mum and nan, who would probably call him a pervert.
So Ryan stayed in the hall and listened as the girl he loved but could no longer have went through agonies upstairs.
He saw the shadow through the glass in the front door and yanked it open just as Dave was about to knock.
‘All right, son?’ Dave asked, patting him on the arm when he saw the worried look on his face. ‘Everything going okay up there?’ He winced when Angel immediately screamed, and said, ‘Guess it won’t be long now, eh?’
Ryan shook his head. ‘Hope not.’
Johnny’s car pulled into the drive. He jumped out when he saw Dave and Ryan in the doorway.
‘What’s going on?’ he asked.
They all raised their eyes to the ceiling at the sound of a baby crying.
‘Looks like you’re a dad,’ Dave said, extending his hand to Ryan.
Shocked and relieved, Ryan shook it.
‘Congratulations,’ Johnny added, clapping him on the back. ‘But how come you’re down here? You should be up there with Angel.’
‘They didn’t want me in there,’ Ryan croaked. ‘And I didn’t think it was right,’ he added quietly.
Johnny knew what he meant. Angel was determined to carry on their relationship, but Ryan’s conscience wouldn’t allow him to get intimate with her. He’d stayed to support her through the pregnancy but he hadn’t touched her, and Johnny truly respected him for that.
When the crying stopped abruptly, all three men looked at each other. Then Johnny headed for the stairs and ran up to the bedroom.
Ruth had the child wrapped in a towel, her back turned to Angel.
‘What’s happening?’ Angel cried, desperate to see her baby. ‘Why’s she stopped crying?’
‘Nothing for you to worry about,’ Rita told her, pushing her back down. ‘Your mum knows what she’s doing.’
When Johnny burst through the door his gaze landed on Angel but slid quickly to Rita, who was staring at him open-mouthed, a look of pure guilt on her gaunt face. He snapped his head around and looked at Ruth. She had an intense look on her face, and his stare shot down to the baby in her arms.
‘Oh, my God!’ he yelled when he saw that she had her hand pressed down firmly over the baby’s mouth and nose. ‘What the hell are you doing? Ruth! STOP IT!’
‘Leave her!’ Rita blurted out urgently. ‘It’s for the best.’
‘What’s going on?’ Dave rushed up the stairs, alarmed by his friend’s shouting. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘She’s trying to fucking kill it,’ Johnny yelped, wrenching the child out of Ruth’s arms.
The baby girl lay floppy in his hands, her tiny mouth – through which she had drawn her first breath just a couple of minutes earlier and cried her first cry – now slack and turning grey.
‘Oh, Jeezus, what have you done?’ Johnny cried, tears splashing down onto the lifeless little body as Angel screamed hysterically in the bed behind him.
‘It’s for the best,’ Ruth said coolly, echoing Rita. ‘All I’ve done is put it out of its misery – and us out of ours.’
‘It’s a baby,’ Johnny sobbed. ‘An innocent baby.’
‘It’s deformed,’ Ruth shot back. ‘And it would have been a burden on Angel for the rest of its life. They’re brother and sister – they can’t have babies. It’s sick.’
Dave looked at Ruth with shock and disgust in his eyes. ‘You evil bitch,’ he gasped. ‘You evil, evil bitch.’
‘This has got nothing to do with you,’ she screeched. ‘Get out of my house!’
‘No.’ Dave shook his head as a feeling of deadly calm settled over him. ‘This has gone way too far. It’s time to put an end to it once and for all.’
Johnny had laid the baby on the bed and was frantically blowing into her mouth, saying, ‘Come on, sweetheart’ between puffs. ‘Don’t do this to me. Breathe, baby, breathe.’
Ryan came in and stood helplessly by the door. ‘I’ve calle
d an ambulance,’ he said quietly.
‘No!’ Angel screamed. ‘They’ll take her off me.’
‘They won’t,’ Dave said with chilling certainty. ‘Because you and Ryan are not related.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Johnny asked, his gaze still fixed on the baby as he gently compressed her chest with his thumbs. ‘You know they are.’
‘You might be Ryan’s dad,’ Dave told him quietly. ‘But you’re not Angel’s. So there’s nothing wrong with the baby, and no reason why her and Ryan can’t be together.’
‘What?’ Johnny gasped. ‘Of course Angel’s mine. Don’t talk fucking stupid, man.’
‘Mate, I’m so sorry,’ Dave murmured guiltily.
‘Don’t you dare!’ Ruth screamed, flying at him and tearing at his hair. ‘Don’t you DARE!’
He flung her aside and said, ‘It should never have happened, and I’ve regretted it ever since. But it did, and I knew as soon as I set eyes on Angel that she was mine. I should have told you then, Johnny, but I was too much of a coward.’
‘You’re saying you slept with Ruth?’ Johnny demanded. ‘When? Where?’
‘It was at your place,’ Dave admitted. ‘After Ruth lost the baby and tried to kill herself. I’m so sorry, man. We got stoned, and you weren’t there, and . . .’ He trailed off and wrung his hands. ‘It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. Angel’s my daughter.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me back then?’ Johnny’s eyes were bright with betrayal. ‘Why leave it till now?’
‘Because I didn’t want to lose you,’ Dave told him shamefacedly. ‘She begged me not to tell you, and I went along with it because I knew you’d never forgive me. But enough’s enough. It’s one thing breaking up a couple to keep the secret, but it’s totally something else to kill a baby. That’s just evil.’
Before Johnny could say anything, the baby’s body jerked and she took a gulping breath.
‘Oh, thank God!’ he cried, lifting her gently and holding her against his chest. ‘Thank God, thank God.’
The ambulance pulled up outside just then.
‘Paramedics,’ a voice called through the open front door.
Lost Angel Page 35
