by B. B. Hamel
Maybe one day, when this is all over.
7
Julian
We can’t just sit around forever. As much as I like staring at Kay’s tight little body, wondering when she’ll decide to drop her towel in front of me again, I know it’s not going to help.
Sooner or later, Hunter’s going to find us. That’s the kind of man he is. Now that I’m sure it’s him, I know he’s out looking for us, or at least his goons are. The fact that Hunter’s definitely involved is very, very bad for us, and it complicates things immensely.
There are a hundred different reasons why Hunter would want me dead or in jail. I need to figure out why he chose now to come after me when he’s had years to make a move if he ever was going to.
Poor fucking Kaylee. The more I think about it, the more I realize that she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her stupid boyfriend got tangled up with someone he didn’t fully understand, and unfortunately Hunter decided to use them to try and take me out. Or maybe he just figured we’d all get arrested together, I don’t know. Either way, Kaylee got dragged into this, and now she’s in for a much more difficult situation than I think she realizes.
“We need to do something.”
She says the words over her morning cup of coffee on the third day since she came out from her withdrawal coma. That’s how I’m thinking of it anyway, a little coma.
I arch an eyebrow at her. “Getting bored?”
“No,” she says in a way that means the opposite. “We just can’t get anything done sitting in this room.”
“You’re right.”
That seems to surprise her. “Really?”
“Really,” I say. “And plus, sooner or later, Hunter’s going to find us here.”
She frowns a little bit. “What do you know about him?”
“Too much,” I say, “but nothing that can help us right now.”
“He’s dangerous,” she says softly. “I don’t think… I don’t think Leo realized.”
I laugh softly. “Can’t say I’m surprised. He doesn’t seem dangerous.”
“Not right away, but it’s there.” She bites her bottom lip. “I met him once, with Leo. We were getting some money from him, since he was bankrolling us, you know, and Leo was joking around with him. All buddy-buddy and stuff. Leo was totally clueless, and Hunter seemed really nice. Until this one weird moment.” She hesitates, staring at her cup. “He looked at Leo like he wanted to cut his throat. It was just a second, but it was there, and I swear I saw it. I swear I’m not crazy, and I wasn’t high.”
“I believe you,” I say. “I know the look you’re talking about.”
She seems genuinely relieved. “What is he?”
“Rich,” I say. “And bored. And a lot of other things.” I stand up and stretch. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to see a friend of mine.”
“Really?” She hops to her feet. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Very,” I say. “But we don’t have much of a choice.”
She nods once. “Okay then. What’s his name?”
I give her a long, slow look, so I hope she understands that I’m not fucking around.
“His name is Isaac. And I think I might kill him.”
Isaac lives two towns over in North Wildwood, another tourist-heavy beach spot. Avalon and Wildwood couldn’t be more different, though. Where Avalon is rich and upscale, Wildwood is the working-class destination. It’s what people think of when they imagine the Jersey shore: big, packed beaches, boardwalk with carnival games and rides, roving bands of teenagers getting up to no good, and a seedy underbelly big enough for any scumbag that wants to set up shop. Isaac is one of those scumbags, and he’s proud of it.
I met him early in my career. He was promoting some fights, just another up-and-coming YouTuber with some violent tendencies and a penchant for breaking the law. He hooked me up with a few other guys, basically gave me the break I needed to start getting paid. We were friends, but we were never close, mainly because we see the world so differently. Isaac thinks this planet is here to be taken advantage of, and I like to think I can actually give back to the world. He imagines himself taking every single drop imaginable from the lifeblood of everyone around him, squeezing out whatever pleasure and enjoyment he possibly can. He’s a taker and a bastard, and it’s easy to get sucked into his bullshit if you’re not careful.
Clearly I wasn’t careful. Isaac’s place is a few blocks off the beach, one of those stereotypical motels with a pool. I don’t know how it’s still open, since as far as I can tell it only rents rooms out to losers like Isaac, but whatever. I hang out across the street with Kaylee on my arm, watching the entrance to the place like a hawk.
“Is this all we’re doing today?” she asks me.
“Got something better in mind?”
“No,” she says, shrugging a little. “Guess I’m just not feeling good.”
I glance at her. She’s wearing a tight white t-shirt, her hair pulled up into a bun, plus a pair of cutoff jeans and sneakers. She looks gorgeous, but tired and thin.
“I’m just making sure it’s safe,” I say.
She doesn’t answer. I keep my eyes peeled for another ten minutes, cultivating stillness all around me, breathing in and breathing out in calm and measured breaths. I realize unconsciously that I’m acting like I normally do right before a fight, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I guess some part of me doesn’t think this is going to go well, even if it does look completely still.
“Come on,” I say finally, striking out across the street. Kay has to hurry to catch up as I make it to the opposite sidewalk and cut onto the motel’s property. I move through the parking lot, keeping my head down while Kay walks close. We make it to the stairs and I take them two at a time, my heart beating hard. Kay jogs to keep up.
“You sure this is a good idea?” she asks.
“Nope,” I say.
“Wait, what? You think this is a mistake?”
“Probably.”
“Julian, what the hell.”
“We have no other choice. I have to know what Isaac knows.” I glance at her. “Unless you want to go right to… him?”
“Forget it,” she grumbles, but I can tell she’s afraid.
Without thinking, I reach out and take her hand. She stares up at me and I give her a reassuring smile as I turn and we stop outside of a nondescript door, a door like every other around here. She squeezes my palm before I drop her hand and knock, heart racing.
Isaac answers pretty much right away. He looks like he was expecting someone, but by the way his mouth falls open, it’s definitely not me.
“Hey, friend,” I say, giving him a vicious smile. “Remember me?”
He goes to push the door shut but I’m already shoving my way inside. Isaac is skinny, even thinner than Kaylee, and he’s pretty easy to shove down. Kay shuts the door behind us as I throw Isaac onto his dirty little couch.
“Hey, uh, Julian,” Isaac says, getting himself together. “I didn’t expect you, man.”
“I know you didn’t. Probably thought I was dead or skipping town.”
“Nah, man, why would I think that?” he asks, laughing nervously.
“Because you set me up.”
His eyes flick to Kay and back to me. “What are you talking about?”
I narrow my gaze. “Do you know who she is?”
Isaac shakes his head. “Nah, man, of course not. She’s just some bitch, right?”
I punch him in the nose. Not hard enough to knock him out, but hard enough that I hear his bone break. He gasps and groans, hands to his face as blood leaks out.
I grab a dirty shirt from the back of the armchair and toss it to him.
“You’re fine,” I say.
“Fuck you.” His voice comes out nasally and congested. “You broke my nose, asshole.”
“Suck it up, you goddamn baby. Use the shirt.”
H
e wads it up against his face and tilts his head back. “Fucking prick.”
“Isaac, I’m going to ask you some questions, and you have to be honest. Okay?”
“Whatever. Why would I help you?”
I bend down, get in his face. I catch Kaylee fidgeting in my peripheral vision. “Because you betrayed me, donkey fucker,” I say softly. “If you don’t want me to keep breaking bones, you’d better play ball.”
His disgruntled silence says about as much as he needs to. Isaac is a lot of things, but brave isn’t one of them. He’ll crack as soon as I hurt him, I know that for sure, but I doubt it’ll come to that.
“Why does Hunter want me dead?”
Isaac’s eyes go wide for a second. “What are you talking about?”
I sigh. “Isaac.”
“Okay, okay. I don’t know, man. I’m not fucking told anything.”
I nod a little and glance at Kaylee. She doesn’t react, but that’s the confirmation right there. It’s Hunter, that’s for sure.
“How did you get involved?”
“He just called, okay? Told me I had to get you on that beach at that time. Didn’t give me much of a choice.”
“Oh, yeah? Were you trying to stand up for me?”
“Of course I was,” he says, eyes flashing. “I’m always there for you, man, you know—”
I slam my elbow into his jaw. He grunts as his head snaps back. For a second I think I overdid it, but he groans as he slowly picks his head up. “Asshole.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me again,” I say softly. “Is he still after me?”
“Yes,” Isaac says.
“How bad?”
“The whole fucking underworld, my man.” This time, his grin is sincere. “And I think he’s gonna catch you.”
I rear back to hit him again but Kaylee catches my eye. “Julian,” she says. “Look.”
I come to the window where she’s standing and we peer outside. Down in the parking lot, two big guys in long leather jackets are climbing out of a dark sedan. I recognize a bump on the one guy’s hip, and I know why they’re here.
“Fuck,” I say, turning back to Isaac. He’s in the process of standing up, so I go over and grab him by the back of the neck. “How do we get out of here?”
“There’s no fucking way out, man,” he says, eyes wide. “No fucking way out for—”
I smash his face into the wall. He grunts and groans. “Tell me,” I say.
“Back window,” he gasps. Blood’s pouring from his nose again.
I punch him in the gut and drag him along behind me.
“They’re coming,” Kay says, an edge of panic in her voice.
“Come on.”
I lead the two of them into the back of his little motel apartment room. The place is a mess, dirty clothes everywhere, empty takeout containers stacked in a corner, and porn magazines lying haphazardly on the floor.
“Use the internet like a normal fucking person,” I grunt at him, kicking aside a Hustler. “Where’s the window?”
“Bathroom.”
I push him ahead and we hurry back there just as someone bangs on the front door. I hear muffled voices calling in.
“Friends of yours?” I ask him.
“Expected guests,” Isaac says, grinning.
So he was just stalling for time then. We reach the bathroom and I rip open the window. It’s big enough and the drop isn’t too far, but we’ll have to go slow.
“You first.” I grab Kay’s wrist and pull her over. She hesitates, fear in her eyes, but she climbs out without arguing.
“Dangle, then drop.”
She grunts a little, and the knocking out front turns into frenzied banging. Kay gets out, just her fingers visible, and then she releases.
I look out as she drops one story down. She hits the ground and stumbles a little, falling onto her ass, but she’s okay.
“Now you,” I say to Isaac.
“No.” He puffs up his chest so I punch him in the stomach again and throw him out the window.
He doesn’t fly through cleanly, which is a shame. It would’ve been cool. Instead, he grabs at the frame and flings himself around. He whips down and yells as he loses his grip to gravity, yanking him down the drop.
He hits the ground and rolls over onto his side. He’s not moving, and as I go to climb out, the front door breaks open.
Voices fill the apartment. “Where the fuck are you, Isaac?” one guy calls. “You stupid asshole, where are you hiding?”
I shut the bathroom door, lock it, and start climbing. I hear them outside talking to each other, before finally someone tries the knob. I’m halfway out the window when they start to break down the door. It flies in just as I release the edge and drop down. I land as quietly as I can.
Kay’s ten feet away, behind a bench. I get up and run over to her, my foot throbbing. “Where’s Isaac?” I ask.
“Ran off,” she says, pointing to the left. “Went that way.”
“Shit. Get down.” We duck behind the bench as one of the guys pokes his head out the window, scanning around.
We wait there in silence for him to finish and duck back inside. I take Kay’s wrist and we hurry away, walking as fast as we can.
We get a few blocks before we finally stop. “You okay?” I ask.
“I’m fine.” She glares at me. “Was that worth it?”
“Not really,” I admit.
“We could’ve gotten killed.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“You heard what Isaac said. The whole underworld’s out for us?”
“He lies.”
“I believed him.”
I watch her for a second then nod. “Okay then. We’d better be even more careful.”
“Yeah.” She goes quiet, draws into herself. I don’t want to care about what she’s thinking or feeling but I can’t help it. I keep seeing her over these past few days, going through withdrawal, barely there at all. I took care of her, nursed her back to health, cared more about her than I ever have about anyone before. I know she probably doesn’t understand and can’t, but it meant something to me, back in that hotel room.
We fall into step together and my mind’s a storm. I don’t know what to do or where to go now. All I know is, I want to get out of this, and not entirely for myself. Kay is in this as much as I am, and the thought of the entire criminal underbelly of New Jersey out to get her pisses me off to no end.
“Why do you think those guys were at his apartment?” Kay asks suddenly.
I frown a little. “I don’t know.”
“They couldn’t have known we were there, right?”
“Maybe,” I say. “Maybe they were watching, and I missed them.”
“Could be, but I don’t know. Why do you think they’d be visiting Isaac?”
I nod slowly. “He’s more involved than we realized.”
“That, or they were there to kill him, too.”
I grunt a little. “Something to think about.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “Think we’ll see him again?”
“No. If he’s smart, he’ll run. I bet he’s already halfway to Idaho right now.”
“Maybe something we should do?” she asks quietly.
I glare at her. “You know we can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Hunter won’t let it happen. You think he doesn’t have the resources to catch us?”
“At least we’d have a chance.”
“We have a chance here. Just have to figure out how.”
She lapses into silence, and I don’t feel like pushing it. I know she wants to run, and it’s not a bad idea, but it won’t work. I can just picture him catching us and killing us, no matter where we go.
We head back to the motel room, with barely any more information than before we left.
8
Kaylee
Julian’s breathing steadies in the bed beside me, and I know he’s asleep.
I stare up at the cei
ling, counting down the minutes. If I get up too soon, it’ll just wake him. Too late, and he won’t stay asleep long enough. I need to time this just right or else I’m going to waste my chance.
I glance over at him, and for a second, I think about staying. Julian is strong and smart and he got me through my withdrawal, which is no small thing. I’m grateful to him, actually. I doubt I would’ve been able to get off that stuff on my own, but now I’m clean and I have no reason to look back. I’m staying clean for the rest of my life, and that’s a gift he gave me.
But if I stay, the rest of my life might not last very long.
He has no plan. He has no foresight. We’re just sitting here, hiding in this motel room while he wanders around and beats up random people. He’s gorgeous and he’s strong but I don’t know if he has a plan yet, and I don’t think I can stay around and find out.
I don’t need him. I know that deep down in my chest, I really don’t. Not anymore, not while I’m clean. He might be right that Hunter will catch me if I run, but I don’t think so. He got Leo already, and Leo was the person he really wanted. I was just along for the ride, just someone by Leo’s side. I doubt Hunter even really knows who I am.
He won’t let Julian go, but maybe I can escape. Maybe I can run, all on my own.
I count and I wait. I listen to Julian’s breathing, steady and calm. I glance at him in the moonlight and think about what he did for me, and hate myself for what I’m going to do now. He doesn’t deserve me running out on him, but I can’t help it.
Running is what I do, always has been.
I wait another forty minutes before I finally decide it’s time. He’s in a deep sleep and hasn’t stirred for a few minutes at least when I slowly slip off the side of the bed. I get my feet on the floor and watch him as I slowly stand. He doesn’t move, just keeps breathing, slow and even and steady.
I find my things, or whatever I have. I get dressed, pulled on my hoodie, and rifle through his jeans until I find his wallet. There’s some cash, which I grab. I feel guilty, but whatever. I have to get out of here.
