by H. K Oby
The twinkle of light was the only thing that remained when Amin blinked. He stood staring at that point for a few seconds, the words he had heard revolving in his head, and he gave a start when Amaira touched his shoulder and asked, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Recovering quickly, Amin put on a smile and said, “Nothing. I was just praying internally that there will be no more issues. Are you two done? Shall we make our way to the library?”
They nodded, clearly not entirely convinced by his answer but choosing to let it go. From their gazes, he could tell that they were assuming his strange actions were because of what had happened inside.
He hoped that they wouldn’t talk about it. He wasn’t really ready to tackle that issue and the emotions that came with it now, and thankfully, it looked like they had no idea what to say either. They walked in silence, the two occasionally opening their mouths as if they thought of something but then closing them, deciding that they should think of something better.
Amin had found out the way to the library a couple of days back, itself, hoping that he would need that information soon. They walked down the central mud road in the direction of the novice training ground. When they reached it, they made the unspoken decision to skirt its edges.
They didn’t need to train with the kids, but even looking at them would bring back too many bad memories. Their decision did mean that they had to walk through a forest with a thick undergrowth that hid many vines and pebbles which dug into their bare feet, but it didn’t take long. Soon, they reached a small path inside the lush forest that had been tread many times. They followed it for five minutes, enjoying the tranquillity of nature, and at the end of the path, they came upon the most enormous building they had seen on this side of Ayodhya yet.
Amin managed to keep his thoughts away from the hardship Narad had mentioned, but when he examined the building, a vague foreboding sense trickled his mind.
It was made of stone, standing at least four stories tall with a roof overgrown with vegetation. The stone on the outside was well weathered, its color a light grey. Large wooden double doors that could have let in even the giant from the training ground stood open, their edges carved with leaves. It was almost like a mountain, extending so far to the sides that Amin was sure a football ground would fit inside.
And vanaras filled the entire space, chasing each other in the clearing between building in the forest, climbing on the stone on all fours nimbly, perching on the small trees on the roof idly, or lounging on the ground all around the library.
The ones on the top of the building caught sight of him first. Then, those on the ground nearby saw him, and a moment later, shouts erupted.
“Deceiver! Cheater!”
“Enemy! Attack!”
“Betrayer! Enemy of the vanaras!”
“Attack! Attack!”
Amin took one look at their reddened eyes and their bulging muscles, then turned around and ran.
Inside, all he felt was rage.
It grew to such a degree that he couldn’t hold it inside anymore. Howling wordlessly, he ran along the path, startling small animals and birds along the way while looking like a madman.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
10 MINUTES LATER, Amin was being consoled from both sides of the bed he was sitting on in his hut by Rishi and Amaira, who were each taking turns trying to think up things that would make him feel better.
They hadn’t been far behind, chased by the vanaras as they had been branded as his friends, people he had brought to deceive even more of their noble race.
Rishi still shuddered from the experience, remembering it every few minutes or so and breaking out into a sweat while probably imagining being pummelled by hundreds upon hundreds of those huge monkey men and women. At one point, Amaira had actually found the entire thing funny; both Rishi and Amin’s glares had set her right, but sometimes, when he looked at her, he still found the corner of her lips rising, as if she was suppressing the urge to tell a wildly inappropriate joke.
At the moment, all he wanted to do was vent his anger. Actually, the thing he most wanted to do was find the keeper and break each and every one of his bones while the man’s screams echoed like music in Amin’s ears, but that was impossible.
He hadn’t even done anything to deserve this treatment. The vanara had made the mistake, and he had played along with the only intention of finding out more about Ayodhya. How could he be blamed for such a simple thing?
“I did hear that they don’t have very long memories. But, if even one of them remembers, they tell the rest, so it might be an endless cycle…uh, pretend I didn’t say anything.”
Amin turned to Amaira just as she averted her gaze to the top of the hut and began to whistle a tune. For once, he felt nothing because of their proximity. They sat close together, the nature of the bed such that it would push anybody upon it into the center. Her thighs were pressed up against his just like Rishi’s, and even though he could feel the supple skin underneath the breaches, all he felt was rage that there was another roadblock in his path, another obstacle when he had been overjoyed that he had broken through them all.
“They are extremely emotional creatures. I heard one of the women talking about how she said she liked one of them and that vanara followed her around for months, proclaiming his love and asking for her hand in marriage. She actually had to involve the supervisor to get rid of him. If they grab onto something, they never let go. But that emotion can also be changed. That’s typically how it works; such behavior tends to result in fickle personalities.”
Scientific and logical as always, Rishi bent his head in thought, contemplating the issue further. What he said might have sounded apt to Amin at any other time, but at the moment, he just wanted to beat some sense into the entire race of intelligent monkeys.
Getting up with the disgusted sigh, he began to pace around the heart. It was a nervous habit he had suppressed in his life of scamming as there had never been enough place to engage in it, especially when he had to wait in confined spaces for a target to appear. For the first few minutes, he satisfied himself by thinking of all the ways in which he could torture the keeper who had partly caused the situation, but after that, he recalled the conversation he had had with Narad.
He said that I still have an obstacle…well, this is definitely it. But he also said that there is a simple way to get beyond it. What can it be? I have to think. I shouldn’t overcomplicate things; if I just approach the issue with a calm mind, maybe I’ll find a solution I didn’t see before.
This wasn’t very easy, though. Fumes felt like they were rising from all over his body. Everything he conjured with difficulty that might calm him down was erased as soon as he let his mind wander, relived that moment in front of the library, and felt the fury return like a tsunami.
Finally, he decided that he had to take drastic steps. Sitting down on the muddy ground, he closed his eyes and placed his hands palm down on his knees, his back straight and his head facing straight ahead. Meditation was a practice he saved for the most challenging times in his life, times like these when his emotions could not be reined in even if he put in every ounce of effort possible; he had learned the technique after he had seen it being used multiple times by ordinary people and conmen alike to quench their unruly thoughts. Taking deep breaths, he tried to go back to one of the calmest times of his life, which was coincidentally that moment in the car after the jeweler scam where he had believed that his money troubles were finally over.
Slowly, as each second passed, he started to feel calmer. The other two wisely stayed where they were, making not a single sound, understanding that he was trying his best to fight with his emotions. Just as he was about to completely shove aside the part of him that was still screaming bloody murder, the door banged open.
Snapping open his eyes, Amin snarled, his concentration slipping while all the anger he had bundled up broke free from its bounds and wreaked havoc in his mind. His eyes fell on the supervisor who walked
in, weirdly, with his eyes closed. Taking a step inside and stopping, he began to intone in the same way he had before, like a venerable, respected elder helping out helpless disciples.
“I’ve heard you had trouble with the vanaras. I was sent here by –.“
“Not now!”
Amin’s scream made the supervisor open his eyes, frown, purse his wide lips, turn around, and walk away.
Gasps escaped Rishi and Amaira, and Amin, himself, stared at the spot where the vanara had stood. He hadn’t heard a word the man had said; he had just wanted to go back to meditating, and the frustration from reaching a calm state, or almost reaching it and having it snatched away had flown out of him before he could think.
Letting out a sigh, he got up and ran, chasing after the supervisor.
The man actually belonged to the same race as the ones who had a problem with him. If anyone could help him with this issue, it was him. Even if he liked putting on grand airs, there was no sense in spurning the help he had come to offer, so Amin ran faster, searching for a hint of that broad back.
When he peeked the supervisor’s silhouette right around the corner of one of the lanes of the Deathsworn quarters, he rejoiced internally. He could almost swear that those shoulders were slumped, but he told himself he was seeing things as it was impossible that such an aged and experienced individual who really did have the right to expect to be seen as a revered guru could be dejected by being thrown out.
When he reached within a few steps of the vanara, the supervisor’s back really did straighten, but it might have been because he heard Amin’s approach. Stopping in place, he turned around and cocked his eyebrows questioningly.
“I apologize. I was in a terrible mood after having to leave the library in that manner. I really thought I could enter and get the information I really need. I could use your help. Please tell me what you had come to say.”
He showed the proper amount of regret on his face. By the end, he managed to give the impression that he was genuinely sorry, even though that wasn’t really true.
This can’t possibly work. This must be someone like the first elder; he’ll see through me immediately.
Somehow, it worked.
A smile appeared on the supervisor’s face, like the sun peeking through the clouds. Clasping his hands behind his back, he said, “Very well. I accept your apology. Anger is truly one of the greatest enemies of sentient beings. The great saint asked me to give you some advice. If you haven’t figured it out yet, let me make it clear: my people stand one step above animals but half a step below humans. They age slowly, particularly mentally. The vanaras you see who appear fully grown have the minds of children. Children hold grudges. Children feel the most hurt when they’re betrayed. But children’s minds can also be swayed, given the right stimulus. Think on my words, and the way forward will be clear. Farewell.”
Turning around, the supervisor walked away. The way he said that last word reminded Amin of the first elder, mainly because it had been said with that same physical tic: a slight incline of his head and a moment spent arranging his dhoti.
Telling himself to stop thinking useless things, he walked back to his hut, dwelling on what he had just heard. The supervisor had basically confirmed what Rishi had eavesdropped. If the vanaras were like children, then their minds must be fickle.
Wait, if the age slowly, then is even the supervisor not as old as he looks? Is he a teen, mentally, trying to emulate the first elder?
Brushing aside the thought which did explain a few things for later, Amin related everything he had heard to the two who looked at him expectantly as soon as he arrived. The moment he was done, Rishi clapped his hands in a rare moment of joy and said, “That’s it! We just need a plan now. I was thinking of possible things you could do. It was your amazing plan that made us pass the competition. Let me repay you a little by giving you a plan, myself. This is what you should do: cry! You are an amazing actor; I’ve already seen that. You managed to convince the supervisor that you were feeling true regret! Do the same with the rest of the vanaras, except dial it up to ensure success. mMybe…say that you’re actually contemplating going to the Temple of the End — whatever that is – and asking to give up. Make it a sob story!”
“I don’t really like it, but it does make sense,” said Amaira, struggling as if she wasn’t really sure. “It will work, but if I were you, I wouldn’t do it. How would you feel if you were actually betraying children? Cheating them for your personal gain?”
Amin blinked, then laughed out loud.
Taking in Amaira’s scandalized look, he said, “On the streets, you don’t think of such things or you die. Teens were my favorite targets to pickpocket. They never were good at taking care of their belongings. Of course, all the ones I stole from were arrogant, pampered sons and daughters of rich families who would have gotten nothing but a minor scolding for losing their wallets. I really loved targeting 15-year-olds who smoked secretly because they thought it was cool, and even forced it onto others even younger than them. In fact, I loved to even search them out; the guilt or fear they felt meant they were always too busy searching all around for their parents who would beat them black and blue if they were caught.”
The combination of disbelief, unease, and sheer surprise evident in Amaira’s eyes suddenly made a thought in his head.
Look at that. She’s disgusted by me! I can’t believe I was feeling and thinking all those stupid things before…it’s always the same. I was told many times that women are the downfall of any man, but I can’t seem to control myself. I was also told that at this age, and specifically in cases like mine where I’ve never been with a woman, it’s even harder to control myself, but if I just remember this face of hers, it should be easy. Our worlds are different. She just knows the tip of the iceberg of the things I’ve done; if she knew the rest, she might run away, screaming. Friendship is as far as it’ll ever go; in fact, even that may be too far. I’ll let time decide that, at least…
A desolate feeling suddenly appeared within him, one that echoed of the loneliness he had gotten used to long back. He was an old hand at bottling up these feelings, though. Doing it as effectively as he had always done, he smiled and pretended that his heart suddenly didn’t hurt.
What is the matter with me? I’m like those stupid, frog-in-a-well Indian teens in movies who fall for women who call them friends. It’s deplorable! I should get a hold of myself. True, she is more different than every woman I’ve ever seen, and I never thought there could even exist a woman like her: someone who speaks their mind, is strong-willed and so confident of themselves, but all of that means nothing.
He had heard that Westerners never had this problem. They entered relationships when they were in school itself, and they lost their virginity at such a young age that knowledge of it would make Indian parents' heart stop beating. It was the exact opposite here, in this country where boys are still sent to boarding schools, and girls were still scolded if they were seen talking to anyone of the opposite sex before a certain age unsupervised. In a traditional Indian family, men and women worked hard on their careers and married women and men their families found for them, making the decision often on stupid factors such as the salary of a man or the cooking skills of a woman.
Change was coming, but it wasn’t as common as everyone liked to think. The underlying way of thinking was still the same, so any change could only go so far.
He and a few of his underlings who loved to talk had often discussed how it would have been if they were truly in a modern country.
Amaira’s voice made him step out of the strange turn his mind has taken.
“Alright, fine. In fact, you did a good thing going after teens like that. As for the rest… I trust you, so I know you must have made the right choice even when you were desperate. My mother always did say that I could figure out someone by talking to them once. I’m definitely right about you. Go on. Use Rishi’s plan. After hearing your side of the story, I’m not
even fully convinced that they are justified to show so much animosity.”
She trusts me! That must mean somethi-…
He stamped down hard on the thought, calling up the mental picture he had taken of her face before. For no other reason than to stop the thoughts that were still bubbling up in his mind, he turned to Rishi and said, “Great. Let’s do it now. No sense in waiting. Off we go!”
He was out of the hut before either of them could say a word. They were soon beside him, Rishi a bit disgruntled because he had actually thought up a more elaborate version which included tips on how he could act and what he could say, but Amin was confident that he could do better than anything the sheltered kid might have come up with.
They were soon at the spot on the path in the forest where just a few steps would take them back to the place they had had to run away from. Amin had solidified what he was going to say on the way, the other two staying silent after seeing the now-familiar signs of him focusing completely on something on his mind.
They nodded encouragingly and wished him luck, having decided to stay back in case they needed to swoop in and rescue him if things got hairy. He doubted that was even possible and even wondered whether it was Rishi’s cowardice rearing its head, but something inside him also said that if worst came to worst, he would be able to rely on the guy coming to his aid even if it meant that all he would accomplish was getting beat up, himself.
After lingering on Amaira’s face for a second longer than necessary, Amin took a step forward.
Her face when she had looked at him before came into his mind, and he suddenly found himself wondering whether there was a different way, a way which she would approve.
Why the hell should I care about what she thinks? But then again, it’s not too bad to think of alternate plans… I did agree to that guy’s plan because I wanted to get out of there.
His body kept moving come, his mind churning with thoughts that came as quick as light. Another step took him closer to the library.
