by Elena Aitken
“Yes.” Deanna nodded sadly and looked as if she wanted to say something else, but Gwen couldn’t stay. She didn’t have anything else to say.
“Thanks.” She took the keys from the table and walked past her oldest friend and out the door.
*
The drive to Ian’s place only took a few minutes. Not enough time to really formulate exactly what she was going to do once she got there. She parked Deanna’s car out front and stared at the beautiful cabin. It was a little rundown and needed a fresh coat of stain on the wooden boards, but it was easy to see what it would have looked like years ago, with bikes all over the drive, kids running around, and the general feeling of summer fun in the air. She left the car and started to make her way slowly up the walk toward the door.
Gwen knew where Ian lived, but she’d never been inside. She’d heard of parties at the McCormick house over the years but she’d either not been invited or had declined the few invitations that had come her way because of the huge insecurities she always lived with back then.
But those days were gone. Now the insecurities about her body had been replaced with a whole host of new ones. Insecurities that her best friend hadn’t helped with. But maybe Deanna was right. Hell, Gwen knew Deanna was right. But at the same time, she didn’t understand. She couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to have grown up fat and unpopular. To have the boy she loved crush her the way Ian had.
But Ian wasn’t that same kid anymore. And she wasn’t the girl she used to be. Gwen froze at the bottom of the stairs.
No.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t use Ian for the blog. Deanna was right. She’d known it for days. Heck, since the beginning. She couldn’t use him to further her career. It wasn’t right. And more than that, despite how it had all started, she actually liked Ian. A lot. More than she should, given the situation. There was no way she could do anything to hurt him. She never should have gotten involved with such a ridiculous idea. That wasn’t who she was and it really wasn’t who she wanted to be. Television deal or not.
Before she could change her mind again, Gwen spun around in her heels and started back for the car. She needed to get out of there. Fast.
“Gwen?”
Ian.
She turned, making sure her facial expression was neutral. “Hey.”
“Were you leaving?”
Ian’s handsome face was screwed up in concern, and Gwen’s heart squeezed a little. Dammit, she liked him.
“No,” she lied. “I was just making sure I locked the car.”
He took the steps down to the path and closed the distance between them. “You don’t have to worry about locking your door here. It’s very safe.” He reached out for her hand and gently pulled her toward him. “You look beautiful.”
In that second, the way he was looking at her, the touch of his hand on hers…Gwen felt something inside her melt and Mona’s words sounded in her head. Follow your heart. She squeezed Ian’s hand and made a decision. “Thank you.” For one night, she wasn’t going to think about her website, the blog, the television deal, or what her agent wanted her to do. But she also wasn’t going to run away. She was going to follow her heart. “You look pretty good yourself.”
He kissed her chastely on the cheek and led her into the house.
“I’m sorry about the state of things in here,” he said. “The house was closed up for so long, I’m afraid you just can’t get the dust out of some things.”
Gwen walked around the living room slowly. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “And not so dusty at all.”
“I actually think it’s one of those things where the house needs to be lived in to really feel alive. Does that make sense? It probably just sounds stupid.”
“No,” Gwen insisted. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all. In fact, I know exactly what you mean. Why was your house empty for so long? It seems like such a waste not to enjoy this place.”
Ian joined her in the living room by the window and handed her a glass of wine. “It is a waste, isn’t it? But I’m glad to finally change it and start using the house again. Maybe soon I’ll be able to get my brothers up here, too. Although, I have a feeling that could be a little tricky. Some of them aren’t as excited as I was about me coming back here—well, only one really. There are a lot of memories for us here. Not all of them were good.”
Gwen had heard parts of Ian’s story. Something about his dad leaving them and his parents getting a divorce. Everyone in Cedar Springs had heard about it, but just as with any small town, there were so many different stories going around, it was hard to know what the truth was. “What happened?” she asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer.
But Ian waved his hand, dismissing the question. “We don’t need to talk about that now. It’s not very exciting and—”
“Ian,” she interrupted him and, using her free hand, squeezed his hand. “I want to know. It’s part of you.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Ian led her to the love seat and they sat, his hand in hers while he told her the story.
“We had the perfect childhood,” he started. “And that had a lot to do with Cedar Springs. Every summer, we’d come here and be free. It was like nothing else. But the last summer we came up here, I was nineteen and on summer break from college. I knew it would be the last time I could really cut loose all summer with no responsibility, because I was going to need to grow up sooner or later and get a job.” He laughed a little at that. “So I was really making the most of it, at least for a little bit. We’d come up early because I was done with my courses and my dad suggested pulling my brothers out of school early so we could have a longer summer together. Everything was going according to plan, just like it always did, and then my dad drove out unexpectedly one night.”
“What do you mean, unexpectedly?”
“Well, he always came out on weekends and every once in a while my mom would make him take a bit of a vacation to spend time with us. But for whatever reason, that year he wasn’t going to make it out until the first weekend in July. So when he showed up the night of the Summer Equinox Festival, it was strange.”
The Summer Equinox Festival. That was the night Ian had stood her up.
“We were all supposed to go to the festival, even Mom,” Ian continued. “It was one of her favorite things because it signified the kickoff of summer and summer was her favorite.”
Gwen nodded, but her mind was spinning.
“But when Dad showed up, I could tell right away that something wasn’t right.”
“What do you mean?”
Ian took a sip of his wine before he continued. “He usually arrived with a bag of treats for us. Even though we were older, he’d still come with soda and chips, or a big bag of licorice. Sometimes he’d bring water guns or bows and arrows, or something to keep us busy. He always had a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers for Mom. That time he didn’t. No one else noticed. I think because we were all so excited about the festival. But Mom noticed. And when Dad said they had to talk, that’s when I knew it was serious.”
Gwen stayed quiet, but her heart ached for a younger Ian who was there to bear witness the exact moment his life blew up.
“Mom sent us all to the festival, but as soon as I dropped the boys off, I went home. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew. I wasn’t a kid anymore and of course at nineteen, I thought I knew everything.” He chuckled and shook his head a little. “Boy, was I wrong. I planned on walking right into the living room and demanding to be in on the conversation they were having. I chickened out. Besides, they were outside on the deck.” Ian stood and walked to the window. “Right there.” He pointed to the oversized wooden chairs that faced the water. “I walked around the side of the house and stood underneath. They didn’t know I was there.”
“So you just…”
“Eavesdropped?” He turned around with a sideways grin. “I did. I kind of wish now that I hadn’t, but then again, i
t was probably good that I heard the truth right away.”
“And what was that?” Gwen joined him at the window and put a hand on his arm.
Ian covered her hand with his own and smiled sadly. “You don’t want to know all this,” he said. “It was a long time ago and it’s not a very good story for a first date.”
She raised her eyebrows at the word date. “I do want to know. It’s important. It’s part of you.”
“If you really want to know…”
“I do.”
Ian took her hand and led her back to the couch, where they each took a sip from their glasses before he continued. “The truth was,” he continued as if there’d been no interruption, “my dad had another family and was leaving us for them. It had been going on a long time. Fourteen years to be exact, but the other woman was finally making him choose. So he did, and he chose them. He’d planned everything out before coming to tell Mom. There was a bank account set up for her to get her started and of course he’d pay child support, but it probably wouldn’t be enough. He’d already put the house in the city on the market.”
“Without saying anything?”
Ian nodded. “He’d done it right after we’d left for the lake. In hindsight, that’s why he’d encouraged us to leave early for the lake.”
“What about the cabin?” Gwen asked. “He didn’t want to sell it?”
“He couldn’t. It was left to my mother by her father and it’s in some sort of trust, so he couldn’t touch it. In fact, he kind of expected my mom to stay there. At least for the summer and then maybe even move us out there. I think it kind of messed with his plans that she did the exact opposite.”
“What do you mean?”
“As you can imagine, the news of all this totally destroyed her.”
“I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t.”
Ian nodded and topped up both their glasses. “But she was so strong, too. Crazy strong. Like a tiger, she took control of the situation almost immediately. We went home right away. She got a lawyer, and as much as she must have been hurting, she made sure we were all taken care of. I don’t think my dad knew what hit him.”
“Wow.” Gwen sat back in awe. She hadn’t known the details about what had gone down, and she was glad she’d asked. “That must have been really hard.”
Ian nodded in agreement. “I was the only one who saw her fall apart. My dad left and drove back to the city and she sat on the deck and cried. I think I was in shock from everything I heard, but I came into the house, got a blanket and a bottle of wine for her from the cupboard and sat with her. She never asked how much I heard, or why I was there when I was supposed to be at the festival, or anything. She just cried and drank wine until finally she wiped her eyes and told me to go pick up my brothers. When I got back, she was in bed. The next day we left.”
“Wow.” She knew she was saying that a lot, but there didn’t seem to be a better word to describe what she was feeling after hearing his story. “So you never got to the festival?” It was a stupid question, but it also seemed really important, too. If his family life was imploding that night, meeting up with her would have been the last thing on his mind. Maybe he hadn’t stood her up at all.
“I never made it.” He shook his head. “Too bad, too, because it would have been a great night. There was an awesome group of people. Locals mostly, and I was looking forward to spending the summer with them.”
“Anyone in particular?” Gwen knew she was in dangerous territory, but she couldn’t help it. “Did you have a girlfriend?”
“No.” Ian laughed. “There were a few girls who were pretty interesting, though.”
*
“Interesting?” Gwen looked at him strangely.
It was a bizarre word choice to describe a teenage girl, that was for sure, but Ian couldn’t think of a better word for that girl. He hadn’t thought about her in years. Probably because there really wasn’t anything between them. He liked talking to her and she was different than the other girls. Mostly because she wasn’t totally preoccupied with working on a tan or making sure her hair was just right. She was a little awkward. She was chubbier than her friends, wore glasses and had wild hair. Even for an insensitive teenage boy, it was easy to see she wasn’t very confident with herself, and his friends definitely razzed him when they’d found out he’d promised her a dance at the festival. But Ian didn’t care. He’d never been interested in the types of girls his friends chased after.
“I didn’t know her very well,” he said when he realized Gwen was still waiting for a further explanation. “She just wasn’t like the other girls we hung around. She was different. At any rate, it doesn’t matter because I never did make it to the dance and since I left the next day, I never saw her again anyway. And frankly, like most of the details of that summer, I try not to think of them. I did a good job of blocking all those things for the most part.”
“Do you ever wonder what happened to her or if there could have been anything between you?”
It was a ridiculous question. Mostly because as far as Ian was concerned, there couldn’t have been anything between him and anyone back then. He was an immature kid who needed to take care of his family and then by the time he came out the other side of all the drama, he was changed. “No,” he said easily. “Things were different then. Besides.” He moved closer to her on the couch. “If things had worked out with her, I wouldn’t be here with you right now.”
She smiled, but not before something darker crossed her face.
“Can I get you some more wine?”
“Oh, no.” She put her hand over her glass. “It’s probably not a good idea to have anything more before I have something to eat. I’m a bit of a lightweight when it comes to wine.”
He put the bottle back on the table. “Of course. Let me just go pop the appetizers into the oven and they’ll be ready in a minute.”
She followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while he worked. Jax had given him specific instructions about how long everything needed to be in the oven. It’s not that it was rocket science and he was fairly sure that his limited cooking skills would be able to translate as far as heating up some food. He put the tray of appetizers into the oven and set the timer for a few minutes. He wasn’t going to take any chances.
“Those will just take a minute,” he said as if he knew what he was talking about. “In the meantime, I’ve prepared a simple field greens salad with my signature pomegranate vinaigrette dressing. I think you’ll like it.”
“Pomegranate vinaigrette?” She narrowed her eyes at him.
Ian busied himself with getting the salads out of the fridge. He took the bottle with the special dressing and gave it a good shake before he drizzled it over the lettuce. “Yes, it’s a pomegranate.” Something in her voice warned him that he might be busted and when he turned around with a plate of salad in each hand, the look on her face confirmed it, but still he played along.
“It looks delicious.” Gwen took the plates and carried them over to the table he’d set, complete with flowers in a vase as per Chelsea’s suggestion. He was limited to the daisies he’d seen growing along the highway, but they looked nice in an old glass jar he’d found. “Everything looks very nice, Ian.” She sat at the table and smiled demurely, clearly enjoying the game she was playing. “I’ve only had a pomegranate vinaigrette one other time.”
“Is that right?” He pulled the quiches and bacon-wrapped jalapeños out of the oven and popped them on a plate. “Well, I hope mine stacks up.”
“I have a feeling it will.” She winked and pointed to the plate he put down in front of her. “These look delicious as well. You really are quite a cook. And it’s so sweet that you went to so much trouble for our date.”
He watched her pick up a quiche and bite into it so seductively that he no longer cared whether he’d cooked it or whether he’d bought it from Jax; he was just glad it was there and what he would have given to have traded places with the little past
ry. Ian caught himself staring at her and swallowed hard. “I just hope you enjoy everything.”
“Oh, I’m sure I will.” She picked up her fork and speared a piece of lettuce. It hovered over her lips briefly before slipping inside her mouth. It was the most seductive piece of lettuce Ian had ever seen and once again he found himself wishing he was the food he was serving. “This is delicious.” She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the bite. “In fact, it tastes just like a salad I had the other day at the Springs resort.”
“Is that right?”
She nodded. “Very similar. And like I said, the only other time I had a pomegranate vinaigrette. Such a coincidence.” She winked and he laughed.
“Okay, you got me.”
“What? You mean you didn’t cook all this delicious food?”
“You know I didn’t.”
She took a sip of wine before she selected a jalapeño pepper from the plate. “Okay, I knew.”
“It was the salad, wasn’t it? I knew I should have had Jax make me something unique, but there wasn’t any time, so I had to pretty much order off the menu.”
She laughed. It was a beautiful sound that lit him up on the inside. “It was the salad, but only because I was there the other day. And…well…”
“What?”
“It doesn’t exactly look like you’ve actually used this kitchen.” She waved her arm around. “I mean, it’s pretty clean for a man who just prepared a delicious meal. Or…anything at all in the last few weeks. Do you cook at all?”
He shook his head. “Not unless you count takeout.”
“I don’t.”
Ian had never learned how to cook beyond heating up frozen meals and boiling water for pasta. Even that he didn’t do well, and usually farmed it out to one of his younger brothers. He’d been busy at school, and working part-time, trying to help out with the bills. There was only so much he could do and cooking didn’t make the cut. Besides that, he’d never cared to. Except for right now with a beautiful woman sitting across from him. He’d cook for her.
