by Elena Aitken
“Yeah, I do. And so do you.”
“She’s Gwen.” Something wasn’t right. An unease washed through him and the hairs on his neck stood. “I definitely know her. I’m dating her.” Of course he knew her. He’d had her—
“That’s not Gwen, brother. That’s Gigi. Remember…Giant Gigi?” Mitch held his fingers in air quotes and laughed again. “Granted, she totally looks different now. Contacts, got rid of the bad perm, and oh, about a hundred extra pounds…I mean, I can’t totally tell from here. But I’d say she’s smokin’.”
“Are you drunk?” Ian stared at his brother and almost hit the beer out of his hand. What kind of craziness was he spouting? Giant Gigi? There was no way. He actually remembered her. He’d felt kind of sorry for her but she was a nice girl and every once in a while they would end up chatting, and he actually thought she was interesting. She was the only girl he’d been able to really…no.
Ian shook his head. There was no way Gwen was Gigi. She would have said something, for one thing. Because he definitely remembered that she had some sort of crush on him. That was obvious enough. And then he’d finally agreed to meet her at the festival. Not because he wanted to date her, but because he genuinely thought she was a nice girl who was treated terribly by most of the other kids. She would have remembered that. Gwen would have said something.
“It can’t be her.”
“It’s totally her,” Mitch practically yelled. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t see it?”
“I…” Gwen was still looking for him. “I think I might…”
“You’re serious.” Mitch stopped laughing and stared at him. “I thought you were joking with me, but you’re serious, aren’t you? You didn’t know you were dating Gigi. How could you not? I saw it in five minutes.”
He shook his head, but his brain was working overtime. Things she’d said, mannerisms that seemed familiar. When they’d talked about how he’d missed the festival the night he found out about his dad’s affair. She’d been interested in the dance…and if he’d made it. Probably because he was supposed to have met her there. He’d stood her up. “She didn’t say anything.” He turned to his brother. “Why wouldn’t she say anything? I don’t understand.”
Mitch shrugged. “Women.” He took a deep pull on his beer. “I’m definitely not the guy to ask about women. I clearly don’t understand a thing.”
There was something there they’d need to talk about. Ian made a mental note to figure out why his brother was so bitter. But it wasn’t the time. He needed to figure out what was going on. “I just don’t…she had to remember me, right?”
“Remember who?”
Both brothers turned around to see Chelsea.
“Great party, Ian. It’s awesome to see the turnout. I think these people actually like you.” She giggled, and normally Ian would fire a quip back, but he was definitely not in the mood. “Okay,” she said, finally noticing the tension in the air. “What’s going on?”
“Gwen.” Ian shook his head again. He was still struggling with processing everything. It just didn’t add up.
“What about her?” Chelsea started to point to where she was standing. “She’s over—” Ian grabbed her hand and she looked quickly between both of them. “Okay, seriously. What is going on?”
Mitch finally explained it to her. “Ian just realized that he actually knew his girlfriend years ago,” Mitch said. “When we were kids. Gwen is actually Giant Gigi.”
“Don’t call her that.”
Mitch shrugged. “She wasn’t nearly as hot back then, hence the name, but it’s definitely her. And I, for one, think he needs his eyes checked if he couldn’t see it himself. Or maybe love really does blind you. I mean, she looks different, but she’s still—”
“Don’t say it.”
Mitch chuckled. “I was going to say, she’s still her.”
Ian shook his head and tipped his beer back, draining it. He needed another. Then he noticed the way Chelsea was watching him. “What?” She twisted her hair around one finger and bit her lip. Clearly she didn’t want to say whatever she was thinking, but Ian wasn’t in the mood for any more games. “Out with it, Chelsea. I really can’t put up with much more tonight.”
She took a breath. “Well, I thought you knew, but now it’s clear that you didn’t know and I’m not really sure how to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
She looked between the brothers again, but her eyes finally landed on Ian’s.
“I thought you knew who Gwen really was, because I thought you knew about her website.”
“Her website?” Ian was sure he was going to be sick now. “What website?”
“I tried to tell you about it the other day.” Ian vaguely remembered her trying to tell him something about what Gwen did for work. “I’m not even really a regular reader of it.” Chelsea spoke quickly. “It’s just that some women were talking about it at the Paw about a week ago and I thought it sounded really interesting. Almost like a soap opera and I was kind of bored, so I thought I’d check it out. And well, it was really interesting. And it’s, well…”
“What, Chelsea?” He was running out of patience, fast. “What is it?”
“It’s about you.”
*
Gwen needed a drink. No, she needed two drinks. But she needed to talk to Ian totally sober. She needed to tell him everything and now that she’d decided to come clean, she needed to do it right away. She scanned the party again and she finally spotted him on the docks talking with…Mitch? She hadn’t seen him since…the festival. He’d been at the festival while she was waiting for Ian, who would never show up.
He’d laughed at her.
She could feel her face burn up. She couldn’t see Mitch. Not yet. Not until she had a chance to talk to Ian and explain everything. Maybe she’d have a drink after all. She looked around, and finally spotted a bar set up by the entrance to the Dockside. She helped herself to a glass of wine and turned around in time to see Chelsea joining her brothers on the dock. Gwen tried not to stare and just wait out the conversation, but she couldn’t help but watch the siblings. Even from a distance, she could see that they were in some kind of heated conversation.
Probably because of Chelsea, Gwen reasoned. After all, if she hadn’t known that Mitch was coming to Cedar Springs, it was probably a surprise to Chelsea, too, and after what Ian had told her about how his brother felt about their half-sisters, she could imagine that their meeting didn’t go over very well.
Yes. It was better if she waited for them to be finished with whatever it was they were discussing.
She took another sip of wine and smiled politely at some of the guests she thought she recognized. And then they started moving.
All three of them were walking quickly down the docks, headed straight for the Dockside and…her.
She didn’t want to see Mitch yet, but she couldn’t ignore him now. She took a deep breath and straightened her dress as they approached. When they were close enough, she put a smile on her face and stepped forward.
“Ian. What a great party. Congratulations.”
But Ian wasn’t smiling. The look on his face was impossible to read.
She reached out to him, but he sidestepped her. “I need a minute,” he said. “There’s something I need to check.”
Icy fear trailed down her spine. Something was very wrong. She looked to Chelsea, whose face looked almost apologetic. What was going on? “Is everything okay?” He didn’t stop walking. “Ian? Please.”
“I don’t know yet, Gwen.” He stopped.
It took him a moment to turn around, and when he did, she wished he hadn’t. His face was cold. His mouth pressed into a thin line. Gwen’s heart stopped for a second. She looked around for someone, anyone to tell her that everything was okay. Her eyes landed on Mitch. He had something between a smile and a frown on his face but it told her everything she needed to know.
“Ian.” Gwen took two stumbling steps forward and tried once
again to grab his arm. “I need to talk to you.”
He shook his head. “Not right now. I need to check something.”
She felt as if she’d been punched in the gut as he walked away from her. Chelsea looked for a second as if she were going to say something, but then she closed her mouth and followed Ian into the office, leaving her alone with Mitch. She was scared to look at him, but when it was clear he wasn’t leaving until she did, Gwen forced herself to stay calm and she turned to him.
“It’s good to see you, Gigi.”
With that one word—her nickname—all her fears were confirmed. Her stomach roiled and threatened to empty its contents.
“You look good.” His words were kind, which surprised her. She’d expected the same mean Mitch she’d known as a kid.
“Thank you.” She managed to squeak out the words. “Ian…what…”
“He knows. Why didn’t you tell him?”
She couldn’t answer. Her vision blurred and a cold sweat pricked out on her skin. She needed to find a place to sit down. Ian knew who she really was and she hadn’t been the one to tell him. He was mad, but he’d be okay. Yes, she reasoned with herself. As soon as he had a chance to calm down, he’d see why she did it and she’d tell him about the blog and—the blog.
“Hey. Are you okay?” Mitch’s arm wrapped around her waist and held her upright before her knees gave out. He guided her over to a bench and helped her sit. “Seriously. Are you okay?”
Gwen managed a nod but then shook her head. “No. I’m not okay. But I will be.”
They sat in silence for a few moments. Gwen only half expected Mitch to say something. There really wasn’t anything to say. Finally, he spoke. “So, if you’re really okay, I should probably get going. I kind of need to see what…well…I should go.”
He stood and Gwen made no move to stop him. It’s not as if he could offer any type of guidance or help. He was Mitch. He’d never been very nice to her. If anything, he’d been one of the meanest kids.
“You should go.”
“You’ll be okay?”
She didn’t bother looking up or answering him. There was nothing she could say because the very last thing she was going to be was okay.
*
Ian paced the floor in front of the desk. He didn’t want to see what Chelsea was pulling up on the computer screen. But at the same time, he wanted to see it. Badly.
He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to throw up or whether he wanted to pound another beer. His stomach wouldn’t stop its continuous rolling and as much as he would have liked a beer—or something stronger, really—he needed to keep a clear head.
“Are you almost done?” he barked at his sister, who was clicking and scrolling on the computer. “How long does it take to pull up a website?”
Ian was pretty sure he didn’t want to see what she had to show him. Not if it was true. And of course it was true. Why would she lie about something like that? And really, there was no way she could even make something like that up.
Chelsea had told him all about the website Gwen had. Where she talked about her dramatic weight loss and what it took to completely reinvent yourself. According to his sister, Gwen had a huge following and was actually pretty big in the social media world. Not that Ian would know. He avoided social media altogether and he’d never been into reading blogs of any kind, especially anything regarding health and fitness for women. Why would he?
But that wasn’t the part that was making him nauseous. No. When Chelsea told him about the series of posts that involved him—or Mr. Summer, as he was referred to in the blog—he was ready to march right over to her and tell her off. But he’d forced himself to wait. To see if it was true. And it couldn’t be true.
It couldn’t.
There was no way. As much as he knew Chelsea had no reason to lie about such a thing, he also knew that Gwen would never hurt him that way. She would never use him and their love for profit. There was no way.
And it was love. He was absolutely in love with her and… But she was Gigi. She hadn’t even told him who she really was. He couldn’t keep it all straight. It was too much.
“Okay,” Chelsea said tentatively. “I have it, but…Ian, maybe you shouldn’t—”
“Let me see it.” He grabbed the laptop and turned it toward him. Without a word, Chelsea slid out of the chair and went to stand next to him. “Okay, what is…oh.”
On the screen in front of him was a picture of Gwen in running gear. She looked beautiful and sporty. Next to her picture was the header, Gwen’s Great Growth. Okay, so that much was true. She had a website about fitness and transforming yourself. But…
“Scroll down,” Chelsea said quietly, as if she really didn’t want him to.
He scrolled down and saw the newest post. It had gone live only about an hour earlier.
*
Dear Reader,
*
I know I’ve been quiet about Mr. Summer, and I promise there’s a reason for that.
*
Mr. Summer. That was supposed to be him. It was true then. She had written about him.
*
It’s because I’ve been trying to figure out exactly how to tell you this…
Are you ready?
Of course you are.
Mr. Summer is madly in love with me! Yes, me. Can you believe it?
*
In love? That was true. No, he wasn’t happy she was writing about him, and of course the whole thing where she didn’t tell him who she was, but this wasn’t bad.
*
For those of you who haven’t been following along, this is the same man I used to be madly in love with…when I was fat. It’s all too common a story, but…I wasn’t good enough for him then. He stood me up and crushed my heart. Ten years later…I look a “little” different and I’m back, baby! He didn’t recognize me, so I decided to see if his opinion of me would change now that I look different.
Surprise—it did.
*
Ian swallowed hard. It was a set-up. He scrolled and kept reading, but he couldn’t feel his fingers and it hurt to draw breath.
*
He still doesn’t recognize me as the fat, awkward, ugly girl whose heart he broke, but oh my, how things have changed now. I’m happy to share that not only have our dates progressed, but…the news you’ve all been waiting for…that’s right…he couldn’t keep his hands off my new and improved self.
Now, before you go judging me and thinking that I shouldn’t be falling into bed with someone who only likes me with my new body, I need to tell you this…it’s not like that at all. I have total control of my body and I make the decisions that I make from a position of power and with my eyes wide open.
Now that I have that out of the way…
I’m sure you want to know all the juicy details of what things were like with Mr. Summer and if you’re lucky, I just might tell you in a future post. But for now, just know this… it was fantastic because it may have taken ten years, but I finally got what I wanted.
*
He finished reading and shoved the laptop so hard it fell off the counter. But he didn’t care. He turned and ran his hands through his hair. It had all been a lie. Gwen, or Gigi, or whoever she was, had played him. And he’d fallen for it.
“Ian?”
Out of the corner of his eye, he vaguely registered Chelsea picking up the laptop and setting it on the desk.
“Are you…do you…”
He couldn’t talk to her. He needed to get away. Get out. And far away from the computer, his siblings and…Gwen.
She was still outside. He couldn’t see her. He couldn’t talk to her. What would he say?
“Hey.” Mitch put his hand on Ian’s shoulder. “Settle down, man. You look like a wild animal.”
He turned and stared at his brother, who’d just joined them. “It’s true,” he told Mitch. “Everything Chelsea said is true. She used me. She…” He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that e
verything between them was a lie. It hadn’t felt like a lie. It had felt… “I can’t do this. I need to get out of here.” He couldn’t think about it anymore. He just needed to get away.
Ian pushed his brother aside and made for the door, stopping long enough to grab a key from the rack behind the counter. The rack that Gwen installed.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t answer his sister.
“Ian! You can’t take a boat out now. It’s dark out there.”
He kept walking into the fresh air and the thick of the party.
“Ian!”
His heart felt as though it literally shattered at the sound of her voice. His step faltered, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t look at her. Not yet.
“Please, Ian,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was.”
He froze.
“I’m still me,” she continued. “I didn’t think it would matter that I was the ugly fat kid you knew forever ago. I didn’t even think you’d remember me.”
“Clearly.” He turned then. She thought he was mad about her lying to him about her identity. And he was. But that’s not why he needed to get away. That’s not why the idea of talking to her made him physically ill. That’s not why his heart was currently lying in a million pieces on the office floor.
Her face screwed up in confusion. “I’m sorry, Ian. I should have told you.”
“That’s not all you should have told me, is it?” He stepped toward her. His hand tightened around the key until he could feel it bite into his skin. “But maybe that’s not right. Maybe you should have told Mr. Summer everything.”
The blood drained from her face, and her knees buckled. “Ian, I—”
“Save it,” he snarled. “It doesn’t matter. You know what? Ten years ago you might have been going through a bit of an awkward phase, but now…you’re downright ugly and if I ever lay eyes on you again, it’ll be too soon.”
The pain on her face barely registered as he spun around and pushed his way through the crowd of onlookers who’d stopped their partying to watch the scene play out. He found his boat, unroped it from the dock and sped out into the darkness.
