“That’s not what a man values in a woman.” Without missing a beat, Ben put a blood pressure cuff on her arm. “Did you lose consciousness after you fell?”
“I was too busy yelling for help to pass out.”
“Relax,” Ben counseled, pumping the cuff.
“That’s the trouble with elderly neighbors.” Elvira’s voice strained as the cuff grew tighter. “We’re all deaf.”
Ben silenced his patient by sliding a thermometer in her mouth.
Not to be sidelined, Elvira reached up and nearly touched the bump on Ben’s forehead.
“That’s the price of being a hero.” To his credit, he didn’t draw back. “Or so I’m told. Fat lip one week. Knot on your head another.”
The difficulty Mandy had fitting the different sides of Ben together suddenly locked in place. He cared about people. He cared so much that he dialed up the intensity to get through to people who wanted to make excuses for bending the fire safety rules. He cared so much that he was willing to risk his own safety for others. He was the fireman who’d be the first to break down a door to find those trapped in a burning building. Whoever cared about him would be right in worrying if he’d come home safely after a shift. And Mandy, who valued stability, felt a piercing shaft of fear for him once more.
“We’ve achieved silence in Harmony Valley.” The sheriff glanced at Mandy in mock awe. “I need to carry a thermometer.”
“Or show your bumps and bruises,” Mandy offered, trying to shake off an unexpected impulse to touch Ben, to rub his back and reassure herself he was all right.
He was fine. Bruised, but fine.
“Ignore them, Elvira.” Ben spared Mandy a curious glance before recording Elvira’s vitals. “You’re as healthy as I am.”
“Like that’s a surprise.” Elvira was back to fighting form. “I may be weaker than a newborn, but I’m going the distance. I’m gonna live to be one hundred.”
“The ambulance should be here in five,” Keith said, coming up behind them. He was a bit out of breath, as if he’d run up the walk and front steps to update them.
“I hope you called it for yourself.” Elvira squinted at Keith. “Because I’m fine. Just couldn’t get up this time. But I’m ready to get up now.”
“You had a fall.” The sheriff sounded rueful. Given most of Harmony Valley’s population was over age sixty-five, he probably dealt with falls and the fallout frequently. “You know protocol. We have to take you to the hospital and the doctor.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Elvira said loftily from her prone position. “Besides—” Elvira gathered Sparky closer with one arm “—I can’t go. Who will take care of Sparky while I’m in the hospital?”
Ben exchanged a glance with his father. “I have just the dog sitter for you. Her name is Hannah.”
“Is that Felix’s great-granddaughter?” Elvira perked up. “On Thursdays, Felix takes Sparky on a long walk. He says Sparky has a nose for charming kittens out of hiding.”
Mandy suspected the little dog was better at charming treats out of the hands of those around him. But hey, what did she know?
Ben packed up his medical gear. “My only condition is Sparky has to come to our house for the night.”
“Perfect,” Keith said. “I’ll go get the pet sitter before Vanessa takes her home.”
“Sparky is persnickety when he’s not with me,” Elvira chattered on. “Why, one time, I left him with Agnes and the only thing she could get him to eat was salmon.”
By the set of his mouth, Mandy knew Ben wasn’t going to feed the little dog salmon.
A few minutes and several Sparky anecdotes later, the screen door squeaked open and then banged closed. As if sensing his new best friend had arrived, Sparky waddled to the door.
The bespectacled little blonde got to her knees to greet him. “Aren’t you a pretty boy,” she cooed. She seemed to know just how to pet a roly-poly little beast into submission. Sparky collapsed on the floor and rolled onto his back for a belly rub.
Ben leaned down to whisper to Elvira. “Do you really think we’ll need salmon?”
He may have been speaking to Elvira, but his gaze veered toward Hannah, shining with pride. And then it veered to Mandy, sharing his pride, his joy, his...
Her breath caught. Her stomach fluttered. She felt as if they stood together under the moon. Alone and sharing secrets without fear of breaking eggs.
She’d never believed in love at first sight or the fast connections of which her girlfriends at the post office had spoken of when they’d slept with guys they’d just met in bars. She believed in slow courtships, feelings steadily built, common goals and a deep knowledge of someone else.
Oddly, she felt she knew Ben. Oh, certainly not anything concrete. He was a stickler for the rules. He had a dry sense of humor. He helped people. She’d known that much about other men and it hadn’t caused her to linger, waiting for a moment to speak. “Thank you for being so good to her.” Mandy slung her mailbag to her shoulder as Elvira was loaded into an ambulance.
Hannah had long since disappeared with Sparky. The sheriff and Keith were talking to the ambulance driver, heedless of the hot afternoon sun.
Ben stowed his med kits in the fire truck. He leaned against the closed compartment and smiled ruefully, knocking dried mud from his soles on the curb. “Given how we met, you may not believe this, but I like people.”
“Given how we met, you may not believe this, but I believe you.”
He shifted that rueful grin her way. That grin said he knew she felt stomach-fluttering excitement when their gazes connected. It apologized for being so gosh-darn charming.
Suddenly self-conscious, she smoothed a ponytail over her shoulder and turned her toes to the next house on her route. She shouldn’t have said anything more. She did. “Plus, you have the endorsement of Mr. Moon.” It sounded like she was flirting. She started walking. Fast.
Not fast enough.
Ben called after her, “Why do I feel like you’d leave a bowl of cat food outside for me?”
She turned, working hard to contain a smile that wanted to bloom into her being foolish. “You may not believe this, but I leave out food for all kinds of strays.”
“I’m flattered,” Ben said, no longer grinning.
“Flattered?” Mandy muttered, hurrying off, wishing she could disappear. Flattered was man-code for thanks, but no thanks. As in, I’m not interested. End of story. Shut up, Mr. Moon.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“HANNAH, NO MORE television until you’ve taken your bath.” Ben’s mother was a strict disciplinarian.
Ben had rebelled mildly against that authority when he was a teen, but he could see the value of it from the other side now. And he was honest enough with himself to realize her take-no-prisoners approach to running a household had influenced who he was as a firefighter. He wouldn’t apologize for being tough on the job. If he wanted to do his duty by Dad and the community, he needed to be tenacious about safety.
He may be stubborn in fulfilling his duty, but Mandy had taken his intensity and diffused it with logic, a sly comment and a smile—at Elvira’s, at the post office, on the sidewalk. She was willing and able to stand up to him. Just thinking of her made him happy.
Hannah obediently got up from the floor where she’d been brushing Sparky’s matted hair. If there was any positive from the river episode today, it’d been the change in Hannah’s behavior. She hadn’t wandered once. Not that Ben thought it would last.
“Before you do that, Hannah, I need you in the kitchen.” Ben ignored his mother’s curious look and led Hannah away. He retrieved a bag he’d put in the back of a tall cupboard before dinner, set it on the oak farm table and began opening its contents.
“What’s that?” Hannah perched on her knees on a kitchen chair. H
er pink T-shirt and jean shorts were just as dirty as they were every night. But her forearms and inner thighs bore scrapes from where she’d clung to the limb.
“Something I picked up this afternoon.” On a special trip to Cloverdale, where the drugstore had a wider selection of merchandise than the small grocery in Harmony Valley. “We’re going to play mad scientist.”
“Do we need goggles and a white jacket?” Han sounded interested, but she kept her eye on Sparky, who flopped beneath her chair.
“What’s that?” Mom carried her water glass to the sink.
Ben hesitated for a long moment, and then told her the truth. “It’s a DNA kit.” Since rescuing Hannah, he’d been unable to think of much else but the question of her parentage.
“Benjamin Edward Libby.” Mom sank into a chair across from Hannah. “I thought you said...” She glanced at Hannah and started again. “I would’ve expected something like this from Mike.”
“Mike has been happily married for years now.” His younger brother was a fireman in Sacramento. Settled and nothing like the party animal of his youth.
“But you... This is not you.”
Ben knew what she meant. He’d been the careful child. The straightforward child. The child most likely to do his chores before being asked a second time. The exact opposite of his brother, Mike. “There’s a one-time chance, Mom. I have to know.”
“I’m glad your father is in his man cave.” Meaning the garage. Mom turned her attention to Hannah, who’d been listening to their exchange with a curious tilt to her head. “What’s the report from the infirmary? Any patients ready to be released?”
While Hannah talked about animals on the mend, Ben read the kit’s instructions. He had to re-read them three times, and the process wasn’t that complicated. But the feelings inside him were. The word father had been echoing in his head since he’d rescued Hannah from that tree. Most guys had nine months to prepare for fatherhood. Ben was struggling with the concept, and it might be all for naught. Hannah, with her love of animals, affinity for dirt and shrugging attitude toward bruises, might be his.
“What’s the holdup?” Mom’s hands were clasped on the oak table, her knuckles white.
“I just want to get it right.” If only he knew what right was.
“You mean you want to win. Isn’t it a game?” Hannah asked, peering at him with an inquisitive expression reminiscent of her mother.
Ben sat down too quickly, only half on the chair seat. “It’s more like playing doctor. There are no winners or losers.” What a lie that was. He held a swab up. “First me, then you.” He swept the inside of his mouth and sealed the sample.
“Let me do it.” Hannah practically brushed her teeth with it before handing the stick back to Ben. “Now what?”
“Now we wait.” Ben sealed her sample and then packaged the two swabs for shipping. No one would suspect the plain envelope held the balance of his life inside.
Except Mandy. She’d probably seen it all.
“Now we take a bath,” Mom said, sounding confident of the order of things—dinner, bath, bed—which was a more comforting progression than Ben’s order—kid, proof and fatherhood. “Let’s roll.” When the bathroom door shut, Mom turned back to Ben. “She’s seven, Ben. What’s brought this on?”
“The fact that John Smith can’t be found and might not exist. The fact that she’s a great kid and there’s a chance that I could be her—”
“Don’t say it.” Mom stood. “You have some big dreams.”
“You didn’t seem to worry about my dreams when you asked me to come here.” Ben kept his tone in a place that didn’t break eggs. He stuffed the empty box back in the bag and then shoved the bag in the kitchen trash.
“And you didn’t tell me the truth. Your own mother.” Unexpectedly, she hugged Ben. She smelled of flowers and garlic and acceptance. No matter what happened, no matter what the result, she’d love him. “What if she’s ours? I’d feel like the wicked queen in an animated movie. Grandmothers are supposed to spoil grandkids.”
Ben placed his hands on her shoulders and set her far enough away that he could look her in the eye. “You should feel like her fairy godmother. She needs a steady hand right now. You can spoil her when she’s older.”
“I always wanted a little girl.” Mom’s voice was wistful, a rare glimpse of her own dreams. She drifted toward the hallway. “I hope that test gives you the answer you’re looking for, honey.”
“That’s just the trouble,” Ben said morosely. “I don’t know which answer would be best for Hannah.”
* * *
DINNER WAS A frozen pan of lasagna Olivia had baked. She’d microwaved frozen broccoli with cheese sauce and buttered plain bread slices.
Mandy told herself she didn’t care about carbs or salt. It was dinner and she hadn’t had to make it. Yep, she was still stung by Ben’s flattery comment.
“I downloaded applications for cosmetology school today.” Olivia picked up her plate and brought it to the sink where—stop the presses—she washed it. “The one I want to go to is the most expensive.”
Mandy made a noncommittal noise.
“They use the high-end brands,” Olivia went on, spooning the rest of the lasagna into a plastic storage container.
“I thought all nail tech schools were the same.” Mandy mashed her broccoli flowerets with her fork.
“Everyone teaches the basics, but my favorite uses the latest techniques and has an extra two weeks focusing on small business accounting.”
“Knowing how to handle money is important.” Especially given Olivia couldn’t manage her monthly allowance. Of course, the topic of money only made Mandy more exhausted. But she was as doggedly determined to find a shared memory as Ben was to make the post office safe. “Do you remember how Grandma laughed every time she told the story about when Grandpa proposed?”
Olivia turned up her nose. “I don’t care what you say, if a guy proposed to me with a brass ring, I’d turn him down.”
“It was true love. And Grandpa had no money.” Her broccoli was mush, much like the mess Grandpa had left her in, legally bound to carry out his wishes.
“I’m not going to marry anyone who’s poor either. I’m going to marry a movie star or a rock star or a...”
Mandy raised her head. “What was that last one?”
“Nothing.” Olivia ran the garbage disposal.
Mandy must be dreaming. Olivia never ran the garbage disposal. “Come on, brat. Who is it you want to marry?”
Olivia turned and leaned her backside against the counter. She ran a hand over the growing cowlick at her crown. “I just realized how silly I sound when I may never live to marry anyone.” The night’s drama was beginning, releasing the stench of fear and uncertainty into the air between them. “I read about a woman who got married and two months later found out she had brain cancer.”
“Technically, she got married.” Mandy had to be glib. This wasn’t their first conversation about Olivia’s future. If Mandy didn’t joke, they’d both collapse into sad, weepy messes. If Mandy didn’t joke, fear would clog her throat and take the strength from her steps. If Mandy didn’t joke, Olivia would know Mandy’s deepest secret—that she feared Olivia would get cancer again and this time it’d kill her.
But there was a process to Olivia’s worry. She had to play it out and Mandy had to listen. “And then there was this guy who found out he had stage four cancer. He married his fiancée in the hospital and a day later he was dead.”
“It sounds like you shouldn’t be surfing the internet.” Broken record, thy name is Mandy. “These stories are sad, but—”
“They could just as easily be my story.”
“But they aren’t.” Mandy brought her dishes to the sink and gave her sister a quick hug. “And they won’t be.”
“How do you know?” Olivia whispered, her brown eyes huge and haunted.
Mandy felt haunted, too. “Because you beat the crap out of cancer the first time.” Mandy gently poked Olivia’s shoulder. “Cancer is scared of you.”
Olivia didn’t look convinced. And when she spoke, it was in the hushed tones of the fearful. “Don’t tell cancer, but I’m afraid of him.”
“We have to face our fears, brat.” Mandy glanced out the window toward the tree that blocked her view of the moon, willing fear to dissipate. Fear ignored her. It crowded her chest and made it hard to breathe. “Do you know what I’m afraid of?” Mandy asked, in equally hushed tones.
Olivia shook her head.
“I’m afraid of what’s in Mom’s room.” More precisely, she was afraid that Mom was hiding in the room and they didn’t know it. She was afraid that they’d open the door and Mom would be there with her selfish attitude and her selfish lifestyle and her cold, selfish heart.
Inwardly, Mandy cringed. She had to stop watching horror movies.
“Don’t be afraid,” Olivia whispered. She twined her fingers with Mandy’s. Their hands were hospital cold. “We could go in there together. Mom would never hurt us.”
“That’s right,” Mandy said, not wanting to go in at all. Not wanting to hear Olivia talk about mending fences with their mother even more. “Because we battled back cancer together. We’re invincible.” Who cared if it was a lie? It was the right note to end on. Drama done. A nightly session of mindless TV was called for.
But Olivia had other ideas. Without letting go, she tugged Mandy from the kitchen. “If we can face cancer, we can do anything.” She turned down the hall, heading toward that closed door.
“Anything,” Mandy echoed, her mouth dry. She’d rather talk about Grandma’s ring or Olivia’s inheritance than do this, than face this.
“We aren’t going to find Mom in there.” Olivia stopped in front of Mom’s bedroom door and stared up at Mandy, suddenly uncertain. “Are we?”
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