“What was his one thing?” Olivia asked, breathless.
“Grandma.”
They reached their street. Their steps slowed, until they stopped at the edge of their driveway. The house had once been a cheery blue with white trim. The door was yellow. A welcome yellow, Grandma used to say.
Staring at the faded paint colors on the house, Mandy didn’t feel welcome.
“The front door is open,” Olivia said, stating the obvious. “Didn’t we close it when we left for dinner?”
“I thought we did.” Despite Harmony Valley being one of those small towns where you didn’t need to lock the door, Mandy considered turning and running after the sheriff.
Responsible people don’t run.
Mandy didn’t budge. Not an inch. Not forward or back.
“Ladies.” The masculine voice leaped out of the dusk and made them both jump. It was Ben.
“Our door’s open,” Mandy choked out before he could say much else, hanging on to Olivia’s hand, wishing she could hang on to his, too. And then she looked at him, really looked at him, and registered the expression on his face.
Ben was upset. Not annoyed to the point of anger as he’d been with her the day they’d met. Not frustrated to the point of anger as he’d been with his father at the fire today. Not even exasperated by his flighty neighbors. No. The color had leached from his face. His brows were low and his chin was high. He was tense-eyed, trying-to-keep-the-emotion-from-spilling-out upset.
Mandy released Olivia’s hand and grabbed hold of Ben’s arm as he walked toward their door. “We can handle this.”
“What?” Olivia squeaked.
“It’s nothing. Probably our mom stopped by to visit.” Mandy tried to give Olivia the head-jerking high sign that something wasn’t right with Ben, but Olivia continued to stare at Mandy as if she’d lost her mind. All the while, she was holding on to Ben’s sturdy biceps and digging in her sandaled heels.
“Would your mom leave the door open?” Ben stared down at her.
“Well, no.” That was the rub. Mandy leaned closer, although nothing short of a breathy whisper would escape Olivia’s hearing. “But you’re upset about...” At his frown, she quickly backpedaled. “I don’t know what you’re upset about, and I don’t want to bother you. We can deal with this alone.”
He covered her hands with his. “I’m not the kind of man who lets women walk into the unknown.”
When they’d first met, she’d doubted he’d rush to her rescue; but here he was, proving her wrong. Proving what kind of man he was and maybe how he felt about her. A woman he could laugh with. A woman he could kiss when the mood struck.
A feeling took hold. Warm and knee-weakening. Almost the same feeling she’d had when the town council had spoiled her with cookies and milk. Almost. No one spoiled Mandy. Or at least, she hadn’t been spoiled or taken care of in a long, long time. Not that Ben was spoiling her. But he was watching out for her safety, for her well-being, for her.
She breathed deeply, trying to hold on to the feeling, knowing it was fleeting. Because this was...they were...he was...
My hero.
Mandy jolted back to reality. To Ben staring into her eyes. A different kind of warmth took hold, spreading through her cheeks. She released his arm, sliding her fingers from beneath his.
“Do you really think Mom’s inside?” Olivia’s tone held out hope, while her expression remained doubtful.
Mandy couldn’t bring herself to say yes. She was still half-lost in the fantasy that Ben was her knight in shining armor.
Speaking of Ben, he was moving. And he wasn’t moving down the sidewalk on his way elsewhere. He was heading to their front door. “I’ll clear the house for you on one condition.”
“What’s that?” Mandy hurried to catch up.
“I get a piece of that fudge.”
* * *
BEN HAD WANTED a distraction from his problems. He’d found one next door.
He couldn’t convince the Zapien women to wait outside while he checked their home for burglars. Mandy followed closely, the palm of her hand on his shoulder blade.
“Mom?” Olivia called out, close on Mandy’s heels.
Mandy said nothing, but her fingers curled into Ben’s shoulder as if she needed to hold on to something sturdy at the mention of her mother.
Their living room was practically bare, more like a typical bachelor pad. There was a television, an outdated blue plaid loveseat and a blue recliner. Nothing hung on the walls. The kitchen was lived-in. Dirty dishes were stacked in the sink. No pots or pans, just dishes. A portable microwave sat on the counter next to the plate of fudge.
The rear slider and garage door were locked. Ben turned on the porch light and looked into the backyard. Nothing seemed out of place. He opened the garage door next, beginning to think their front door had blown open and that the house was safe.
Mandy peered over his shoulder. She was one of the few women he knew who was tall enough to do so.
“Did you notice my white truck?” She tossed a tease.
“Not really,” he volleyed back. Mostly he saw cardboard boxes packed around it, although not as many boxes as at his house.
He turned quickly before she moved out of his space. Somehow his hand made a gentle landing on her waist. She was gracefully tall and elegantly slender, a fact he’d missed when she wore her baggy postal shirt. Her single braid made her cheekbones more prominent and her brown eyes luminous. He was struck again by the shield that was her smile. He was struck again by her beauty, inside and out. He was struck again by the urge to kiss her.
“Mom?” Olivia stood in the living room, staring down the hall, unwittingly breaking the spell between them.
Mandy stepped back. Ben’s hand fell away.
“Is Mom the name of your cat?” Ben closed and locked the garage door.
“Please don’t joke about her,” Mandy said in hushed tones.
Ben turned serious, more convinced that he’d found one of Mandy’s secrets. “Is Mom armed?” Should he be more concerned?
“She doesn’t need a gun to be dangerous,” Mandy continued in that low voice. “And I’m feeling a little vulnerable right now since technically this is her house and we don’t have permission to stay here.”
That statement required a pause in the house search. His brain fit another piece of the puzzle that was Mandy in place. “You’re breaking the law by staying here.” That explained Olivia’s hesitation during her defense of Mandy at the post office.
“I’m the estate trustee.” Mandy gave him a gentle push in the direction of the hallway. “I pay the bills on this place for my mother.”
“But you don’t have permission to live here.” Not a question. Mandy hadn’t asked to stay. She’d shortcut protocol. “Why not?”
“Because,” Mandy said, exhibiting her experience in raising a child by using a one-word argument. She pointed to the hallway as if that would end the discussion.
Ben let her win this battle, but only because there was a piece of fudge in his future and he was going to get straight answers out of her while he ate it.
He opened the first bedroom door. Books and notebooks were in a heap on the open closet floor. Three pairs of flip-flops and various crumpled items of clothing covered the carpet. The twin bed was neatly made with a frilly pink bedspread. Dozens of nail polish bottles stood huddled on top of a small dresser.
Olivia slipped past him, swooping up dirty clothes and kicking her flip-flops to the side. A teenager’s idea of straightening up.
The Zapien sisters followed him to the next door in the hall.
Ben opened the second bedroom door. Another twin bed. Another small dresser. The room and closet were empty, but as clean as a hotel room awaiting a guest.
The Zapien sist
ers both blew out breaths.
Ben opened the last bedroom door. He knew without being told it was Mandy’s room. It smelled like her, of paper and moonbeams. Her full-size bed hadn’t been made. The teal flowered bedspread was rumpled. The pillow still had the impression from her head. Dirty uniforms were piled in a basket.
“I’m getting in the shower.” Olivia grabbed some clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom.
“False alarm. Thank you.” Mandy reached around him to close her bedroom door. “You can head on your merry way now.”
“Not without the fudge you promised.” His not-so-merry way had led him to her. He wasn’t going anywhere without his reward. Turned out, he could be bought by fudge.
She stared up at him with dark eyes filled with regrets and secrets, and other things like weariness and worry and longing and loneliness.
Or maybe that was a reflection of what was in his eyes, a product of having worked nonstop 24/7 since he’d arrived in town.
Mandy left him in the hallway. “There’s one last piece of fudge.”
“That’s a big piece,” he said upon seeing it. “How about we share?”
He thought she’d refuse. Instead, Mandy led him to the back patio and invited him to sit on a wooden glider with her. The sun had set. The sky was darkening. The moon would be low, hidden behind her large tree.
She offered him a piece of fudge.
Ben took a small bite, expecting nothing much. Like Mandy, it was much, much more than he anticipated. Before he knew what he’d done, he’d eaten it all. “This fudge should be outlawed.” It was the right texture, the right sweetness, the right antidote for his sullen mood this evening. “I needed that.”
She kicked the glider into motion. “You looked in need of a break when you came upon us. Rough night?”
“I’d rather talk about fudge. Or your high school fire experiences.” Or...he had a long list of things he’d like to know about her.
“Why does it seem as if I’m always telling you things and getting nothing in return?” Her gentle smile teased.
“I told you my dirty underwear story,” he pointed out.
“And I told you about Mr. Moon.”
She had. He’d never look at the moon the same way again. “Tell you what. We’ll swap. Story for story. Something we’ve never told anyone before.” Too late, he realized he’d have to divulge a secret of his own. He checked his pager. No calls had come in. He was hoping for a quiet night.
“I don’t want your jokes.” She leaned back, resting her head on the back of the glider. “I want to know why you were upset tonight.”
“And you’ll tell me about your mother?” What? He’d meant to ask about the high school fire Granddad was upset about.
She looked almost as surprised as he was. “You can ask anyone in town about my mother.”
“I don’t want gossip.” He made an encouraging motion with his hand. “I want the details.”
She kicked the glider into a stomach-dropping swing. “My mom was an only child and a daddy’s girl. Wild and willful, my grandmother used to say.” Mandy rolled her head to the side, seeking his gaze. “She got pregnant in high school and married my dad. They moved to Santa Rosa. Enter me. Enter divorce. Enter my return to Harmony Valley.”
He ran the back of his hand down her bare arm, turning his palm over to cover her hand. “Those were stingy details.”
“I don’t usually talk about my mother.” Her gaze dropped to their hands.
His fingers curled around hers. “I’m honored.”
“My mother likes to have fun,” she began slowly. “She likes pretty things. She likes it when men spoil her with fun and pretty things. She was swiping right before there was an app for that.”
Firefighting absentee father aside, Ben realized how lucky he’d been to have stable, happily married parents.
“When I was little, younger than Hannah, I used to think my mother was a princess. I never saw her without her hair done, makeup on and wearing pretty clothes.” Her gaze drifted toward the backyard. “I used to try to be pretty for her. I wore dresses and Grandma fixed my hair. But I was a gangly, awkward thing, not pretty enough to stop her from leaving.”
Ben imagined her as a little girl, sitting at her bedroom window and wishing on the moon. “That was her loss. She couldn’t see how beautiful you were inside.”
Mandy grinned at him. “You don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you?”
“Uh...” Ben retraced his last words. Too late, he realized his error. “Was the correct response something along the lines of how beautiful and princess-like you are? Sorry. I’m not a guy who tosses out easy compliments and smooth lines.”
“I could tell.” She leaned back, staring up at the porch ceiling. “It’s okay. I’m getting used to it.”
“Really?”
“Not really.” She grinned again. “Just kidding. That was too good a setup to resist.”
He acknowledged her good-natured dig with a nod, sensing she was ready to move on from the topic of her mother before he was. “Do you think you’ll ever have a relationship with her?”
“No.” A flat denial. She kicked the glider into motion again. “When I was fourteen, Mom showed up with this beautiful baby girl. She was so tiny, so precious. I just knew that Mom couldn’t leave Olivia. Here was a princess fit for a queen.”
“But she left anyway.”
“Of course. Mom needs to be worshipped. And no matter how perfect Olivia was, she wasn’t capable of worshipping at Mom’s altar. And I didn’t resent Olivia. I loved helping my grandmother care for her.”
As a firefighter and first responder, Ben saw dysfunctional families all the time. But he never heard their stories. He never felt a wealth of compassion like he did for Mandy and Olivia. He never felt that he shouldn’t hold a grudge against a father who technically hadn’t done anything wrong.
“We’d moved to Santa Rosa after my grandmother died. Somehow, Mom found us a few years later. But it was almost better because she lived in the area, too, so she didn’t arrive expecting to have room and board and royal service.”
The glider had been well constructed. The wood creaked faintly with each pass.
“When Olivia was... I don’t know. Thirteen? Which would mean I was twenty-seven. Mom wanted to take her out on New Year’s Eve. Out to party! And Olivia...she was dying to go with her. I knew how she felt. I knew what it was like to bask in what little attention Mom threw my way. But I couldn’t let her go.” She looked into Ben’s eyes with a regretful gaze. “So I gave my mother money to make her go away.”
“It was the right thing to do.” Ben hadn’t realized he was still holding her hand. He gave it a squeeze.
“Was it?” She stared at their joined hands. “Olivia was crushed. She cried on my shoulder until midnight, hopeful that Mom would come back and get her. I cried to the moon after she went to bed.”
“And you haven’t seen your mom since?”
“She came for Grandpa’s funeral. And she visited us again a few months after that. She caught us as we were going out to a doctor’s appointment. Olivia latched on to her and wouldn’t let her leave. That was the day they confirmed Olivia had cancer.”
“Did she leave you in the doctor’s office?” Her mother seemed the type. Ben was angry just thinking about how cold Mandy’s mother was.
“No. Mom came home with us. She let me make her dinner. And after Olivia went to bed, she told me she couldn’t bear to see her baby suffer. She told me...” Mandy wiped her nose with her other hand. She wasn’t looking at him as the secrets poured out.
And more secrets were pouring. It had to have been hell to witness the warped love her mother had for her sister. And yet, Mandy had tried to do the right thing.
“...she told me how weak she was,
and then she waited.” Mandy swallowed. “She waited until I gave her money and told her not to come back.”
“And Olivia assumed she’d been abandoned again.”
Mandy turned pleading eyes his way, looking for forgiveness when it wasn’t his to give. “Mom would’ve left regardless. For all I know, my grandmother could have been paying for her to leave when I was a kid.” The unspoken implication being if her grandmother had done it, Mandy’s bribes wouldn’t seem so bad.
“Would it have been better for Olivia to pay her to stay?” Instead of leaving? He’d heard a strong support group made a huge difference in medical recoveries.
“She would’ve divided us.” Mandy raised her chin. “Olivia and I are very close and we needed unity.”
And yet, Mandy hadn’t told her sister the truth. “What if your mom shows up now?”
“I’ll stand by what I’ve done.”
He tugged her arm, bringing her a little closer on the glider, sending it swinging in all kinds of haphazard directions. “Or you could tell Olivia the truth before your mother ever gets here.”
She dropped her forehead to his shoulder. “Not everyone finds the truth as easy to tell as you do.” Her breath wafted over his biceps. “Especially when considering telling the truth to a teenager who could do something dramatic like run away to be with her irresponsible mother.”
“You’re afraid the truth will put her in danger?” He passed a hand over her smooth, thick hair, letting his palm rest on her nape.
“I’m afraid the truth will make her hate me forever.” She knocked her forehead gently against his shoulder a few times.
“You’ve done a great job raising her.” He tilted Mandy’s head up. “The truth has never made anyone hate me...permanently.”
“Not really,” she deadpanned, sitting back in the other corner and crossing her arms. “Enough about me. It’s your turn.”
He missed the warmth of her body next to his.
“Ben.” She poked his shoulder. “Don’t renege.”
He stared at Mandy, at her gentle smile. The first day they’d met, he’d imagined she never had a care. Now he knew better, and he could see the tension around her eyes despite that smile. “It’s about Hannah.”
Love, Special Delivery Page 15
