Will, who was one of the winery owners and a childhood friend of Mandy’s, came to stand next to Granddad for inspection. He had blond all-American good looks and didn’t flaunt it like John. The new dad (a boy!) was a take-charge, likable guy, despite being a millionaire.
“Now this...” Granddad clapped Will on the back. “This is a man who puts out fires and is a cat person.” Granddad slipped a half glance Mandy’s way. “A couple more times putting on this suit and you’ll be ready for your SCBA equipment.”
“I’d like to clear the air,” Will said in a loud voice.
“Excellent.” Granddad sent another dark glance Mandy and Joe’s way. “And if we lose a few recruits after your speech, so be it.”
After being given the floor, Will didn’t waste any time. “I’m sorry, but...I started the fire at the high school, not Joe or Mandy.”
“Now he wants to be a martyr.” Joe ran the Messina Family Garage on the outskirts of town. Where Will was poster-boy fair, Joe was lost-boys dark. He was a workhorse, openly thrilled to live a boyhood dream of being a fireman.
“No.” Granddad clutched Will’s arm. “You can’t mean it.” He looked to the sheriff, but Nate just shrugged.
“I’m afraid I do mean it.” Will looked serious, but Ben had already learned that Will often looked serious.
“It was an accident,” Mandy repeated.
“In all fairness—” Joe came forward to shake Will’s hand “—I’m not sure whose match started it.”
“But...” Granddad was absolutely floored. “Joe took the blame.”
“I shouldn’t have let him.” Will looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “But I thought it’d ruin my chance at Stanford.”
“And Mandy’s at the post office,” Joe pointed out.
Granddad’s eyes narrowed. “And the fourth? The janitor saw four of you.”
The three match-flingers went silent.
“That’s not our story to tell.” Joe nodded at Mandy.
Ben was struck by the loyalty of the three childhood friends. Most secrets didn’t stay secrets in a small community.
Of course, most secrets weren’t kept by Mandy.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE STEAK AND shrimp fajitas were from El Rosal.
The cake was chocolate and from Martin’s Bakery.
Olivia had made it to age eighteen. She was one of the nine in ten who survived non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
She felt no different. Her face was still too round, her fingers too fat. She still felt like she was fighting for her life, analyzing every twinge, every nosebleed, every ring in her ears.
It was hard to hear anything above the music in El Rosal.
“There’s only twenty dollars in this card.” Olivia glanced at Mandy. They were having a late dinner because it took Mandy forever to deliver mail. God only knew why. The town wasn’t that big and there were more vacant houses than occupied ones.
“Happy birthday.” In addition to still being in her postal uniform, Mandy wore one of her detached smiles, the kind that drove Olivia insane. When she smiled like that, nothing got to her.
Perversely, Olivia liked it when she got under Mandy’s skin. She felt closer to her when they argued. They were real with each other when Mandy lost her stupid smile.
“Is there another card?” Olivia asked, although she already suspected the truth. “From the Grumpster?”
Mandy shook her head.
Olivia scowled.
“Let’s have cake.” Mandy’s eyes were too bright.
God, she hoped Mandy didn’t start crying. On those rare occasions when Mandy cried, Olivia bawled.
“I. Don’t. Want. Cake.” Olivia was being a big dried-out piece of dog poo, but she’d been waiting for nearly two years for her inheritance. And now... And now...
Olivia pulled herself together the same way she’d pulled herself together after every bad reaction she had to her treatment...
Mandy squeezed her hand.
This was her birthday. There would not be tears. “The Grumpster said he left me something. He mentioned a four-letter word—bank. He told me it’d help me achieve my dreams.” She didn’t remember his exact words, but he’d said something like that.
Without letting go of Olivia’s hand, Mandy reached into her purse and produced a small blue jewelry box. The kind of blue box people in the movies got when they’d shopped at Tiffany’s.
A tear slid down Mandy’s cheek. Olivia didn’t think there was a Tiffany’s diamond in the box. Or a check big enough to pay for cosmetology school.
She freed her hand, wiped her eyes and opened the box. Crap. “It’s Grandma’s wedding ring.”
Her brass wedding ring.
Mandy sniffed. “She always said—”
“You don’t need anything but love to be happy.” Olivia felt sick. “The Grumpster left me a brass ring.” Not money for school. Not even a gift card for iTunes.
“He didn’t know you’d be sick.” Mandy’s smile said they had to grin and bear it. That Olivia had to suck up life’s disappointments and deal with it. “He didn’t know we’d be in debt. He might have done things differently if he had.”
Anger shook Olivia’s limbs the way it would if the Big One had arrived. “This is why Mom left all the time.” Olivia’s temper rose. “Because the Grumpster was a stingy jerk.”
Mandy shook her head, but her smile wobbled and her gaze collapsed to the small cake on the table between them.
“He was. He’d yell. He’d yell and he’d need you.” The feeling that she was a swelling, growing piece of dog poo was hard for anyone to ignore now. Olivia was shouting to be heard above the music. “The Grumpster only needed you. He had no use for me.”
“You’re remembering Grandpa when he was old and sick.” Only one side of Mandy’s face held on to that smile. “Can’t you remember him how he was before?”
The past was a blurry black hole where chemo had stuffed Olivia’s memories. “I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember when he came home from work and stood in the hallway while you wiped Grandma’s butt and cleaned her bedpan. I don’t want to remember how he went out the door to work whistling when you had just come home from a shift and slept in bed next to Grandma because she didn’t feel good. How can you say Mom didn’t leave because of that? She didn’t want to be a slave to illness or to them!”
“That’s enough.” Mandy stood, digging into her wallet and tossing bills on the table along with a few tears. “You think taking care of someone you love is a chore? It’s not. It’s a privilege.” She stuffed her wallet back in her purse and snapped it shut. “You think cancer just appeared in you overnight? It didn’t. Dementia is the same way. It creeps up, feeding on your insecurities, your need for independence, your fear of death.” She wiped the back of her hand over one cheek. “You, of all people, should understand how a body can betray you. How you lose control even when you don’t want to, how fear makes you want to cry or scream or just sit and do nothing. You have no right to judge our grandparents. No right at all!”
Olivia heard Mandy’s words and resented them for making sense. She was hurt and she was alive and life was supposed to be a bowl of ripe red cherries. But it wasn’t and someone had to be to blame. Why couldn’t it be Mandy?
Mandy ran out of the restaurant, which had grown quiet. Even the music, usually loud and cheerful, had faded into a slow, mournful song.
People stared. People whispered. People waited for someone to come along and shovel the big pile of poo that was Olivia out the door.
Clutching the brass ring, Olivia scrambled out of her chair and ran after her sister. She caught up to her on the other side of the town square.
“Why did Grandpa hate you so much? When he died, he gave you nothing. No
t even this stupid brass ring.”
“He didn’t hate me. He knew I could handle the responsibility.” Mandy alternated between walking and running. “I can’t talk to you right now.”
Mandy was crying. Well, too darn bad. Olivia was crying, too.
“I can be responsible,” Olivia said.
“You weren’t. For years.” Mandy spit out the words with uncharacteristic heat. “Grandma cleaned your room and your clothes. Grandpa made sure you did your homework. Even now, you can’t make dinner when it’s your turn.”
Olivia was beginning to see how the world and her beloved sister saw her. And she didn’t like it.
She followed Mandy home in silence, wiping away her tears, fairly sure she didn’t deserve to cry.
Happy birthday to me.
* * *
“MY GIRLS!”
Mandy froze. One hand on the key in the lock, one foot still outside the door.
Not today. Not today. But really, her wish was she didn’t have to see her mother any day.
Reflexively, she reached behind her for Olivia and drew her inside. “Mom, what a surprise.”
Olivia’s expression leaked the emotions Mandy was all too familiar with—surprise, apprehension and the yearning to be loved.
Teri Zapien sat on the blue-and-tan plaid couch wearing a gauzy blue sundress and wedges that were out of style. Her black hair was too black. Her widow’s peak more pronounced than when Mandy had last seen her. But the smile...the spider-weaving-a-web smile was the same. “I guess there’s no need for you girls to knock since you seem to have a key.”
“It’s only temporary until we get back on our feet.” Mandy wished she’d had time to change out of her uniform before dinner or had had the energy to comb her hair into a neat braid and add a little color to her face. What she hadn’t done made her vulnerable, like a soldier going into a gunfight without a Kevlar vest. “What brings you to town?”
“It’s my baby’s birthday.” Mom’s toxic smile crept toward Olivia.
Mandy felt a burst of uncharacteristic rebellion. “You missed the last one. And more than half of my birthdays.”
Mom used a lot of eyeliner. When she narrowed her eyes, they looked like dark, dangerous slits. “Mandy, you didn’t die without me.”
Olivia made a strangled noise.
The urge to protect Olivia had Mandy’s fingers convulsing around her sister’s. Normally, this was where Mandy sent Olivia on an errand or asked Mom to look at something in the kitchen. But she’d babied Olivia the same way Grandpa had babied their mother. Maybe it was time her baby sister experienced life as a grown-up in Mom’s world. She just wished the experience wasn’t going to be like that of two trains speeding toward each other on the same track.
“No, I didn’t die.” Mandy forced herself to meet Mom’s dark gaze, to meet her challenge with one of her own. “I got stronger every time you left, while you seemed to stay the same. I got stronger because your parents taught me how to be kind and loving, something you rejected.” Mandy let go of Olivia’s hand. “I got stronger taking care of Olivia, because she’s brave. She’s braver than you’ll ever be.”
Mom smoothed the skirt of her dress, penciled eyebrows raised as if daring Mandy to continue.
Mandy obliged. “And Olivia needed me to be brave when you weren’t around. When she skinned her knees. When her first boyfriend broke her heart. And when the doctor pumped enough chemicals in her to kill cancer. Or kill her.” They hadn’t known which. “And she came through and became the talented, beautiful person you see here.”
Olivia stared at Mandy as if she’d never been given praise before.
How many times had Mandy constructed dialogues in her head where she took her mother to task? How many times had she held her tongue because a fight would hurt Grandpa’s feelings or wound Olivia? The count was so large she could no longer bear their weight. “No, Mother. Your leaving didn’t kill me. No, Mother. I do not wish my childhood was any different. You gave me to the best people on the planet to raise me. And no, Mother. I don’t care that Grandpa left this house to you, because he left me the keys and the money to keep it up. And do you know why? Because he knew you can’t do much more than shop and date men who’ll never love you. And you don’t deserve to be called Mom.”
“Are you finished?” Teri asked in a tone that felt like the spider closing in on the trapped fly.
“No, Teri.” Mandy lifted her chin, refusing to be cowed. “Grandpa’s money is almost gone. You’ll either have to pay the upkeep yourself or sell the house.”
“We’ll see.” Teri indicated her children should sit.
Mandy didn’t want to sit, but she had no choice. She chose Grandpa’s recliner. Olivia perched on the arm.
Teri leaned forward, smiling at Olivia. “Did you ever wonder why I didn’t come to visit you while you were sick, sweet thing?”
Here comes the train.
Mandy sat very still.
She could’ve told Olivia to go to her room. She could’ve offered to pay the house utilities from her own salary. She chose to let the trains collide, let the truth come out and hope Olivia could forgive her.
Teri may have been heartless, but she wasn’t completely stupid. She recognized Mandy’s decision with a nod and a sigh. “Sweet thing, I wanted to be by your side, I really did. But Mandy wanted me to stay away.” Teri paused, taking measure of her audience like a huckster did with a carnival crowd.
Olivia looked at Mandy, a question in her eyes.
Mandy’s pulse was chugging like that train, but she was committed to face this wreck head-on.
“You wanted to visit?” Olivia sounded small and weak and in need of a protector.
Mandy wanted to wet her fingers and smooth Olivia’s cowlick.
Teri nodded.
“Then...” Olivia glanced at Mandy one more time. “Why didn’t you?”
Ka-boom!
“Because your sister paid me.” Mom smiled. It was a fat and happy smile. The smile of a spider that’d drained the fly.
“Is that true?” Olivia drew back, as if being near Mandy made her sick.
“Yes.” Mandy was losing her. And she had only herself to blame.
“You lied to me about this and the inheritance?” Olivia stood up, fists clenched and voice loud as she transitioned to full-drama mode.
“Yes.”
The spider pounced. “What inheritance?”
“I hate you,” Olivia said to Mandy.
“What inheritance?” Teri repeated.
“I hate you both!” Olivia ran to her room and slammed the door.
“I thought that went well.” Mandy stood, willing her legs to stay beneath her.
“What inheritance?”
Mandy retreated to her bedroom but didn’t slam the door.
* * *
“IT CAME.” BEN’S MOTHER met him at the door with the smell of spaghetti and the wave of a white envelope. “The DNA results.”
It was late. He’d been submitting paperwork to the state for his volunteers and emailing information to his recruits about upcoming training. He expected dinner, quiet and bed. He’d hoped for a night without an emergency call. And now this.
Ben couldn’t seem to move his legs.
“Go on.” Mom waved it near his face. “Open it.”
Ben held the envelope on its edges, as if it had been dusted with anthrax and might kill him. He checked his name and address. He checked the return name and address. How could such a small thing be such an incredibly big deal?
He felt numb. Novocain numb. The kind of floaty numb that you knew would eventually give way to a sharp, unpleasant pain.
“Ben.” Mom clamped her fingers around the top of the envelope and tried to take it away.
Be
n held on. “I need to be alone.”
That wasn’t true. He needed to talk to Mandy. Barring that, he’d settle for a heart-to-heart with the moon.
He went into the backyard without eating anything. The moon was building back up to full strength. He had no idea how long he waited for Mandy, but he finally had enough waiting. He stuffed the envelope in his back pocket and walked to the end of the yard.
The cricket stopped chirping. The leaves above him rustled. In the distance, a small dog barked.
Harmony Valley was peaceful. It was a good place to raise a kid.
So why did the idea eat him up inside?
A window at Mandy’s house slid open. It was either Olivia’s room or Mandy’s.
Ben was willing to bet it was Mandy’s. He entered her yard and went to stand near the dark window that was hers.
“If I hadn’t seen you coming, I would’ve been creeped out,” Mandy whispered, her silhouette barely visible behind the mesh screen.
“You were looking for me.” He turned around. Yep, she could see him standing in his yard from her window.
The cricket picked up where it’d left off.
“You should see somebody about these stalker tendencies of yours,” Mandy continued.
She made him grin. “I only ever stalk postal workers.”
“I bet you tell that to all the girls.”
She was grinning, too. Ben could hear it in her voice. He moved closer, leaning his shoulder against the stucco wall. “Why are we whispering? Is Olivia asleep?”
“My mother blew in tonight. Many eggs were broken, mostly by me. I’m not sure Olivia will ever talk to me again.” The grin in her voice was no longer there.
“Ah, Olivia found out how you paid Mommy Dearest to stay away.”
“Yep.”
That must have hurt. Ben wished he’d been there for her. “Didn’t you point out that Mommy Dearest took the bribe money?”
“I was hoping Olivia would come to that conclusion on her own.” Mandy sighed. It was the sigh she made when her cares got too heavy. “I wish I could see Mr. Moon. I didn’t want to go outside and wake anybody.”
Love, Special Delivery Page 20
