“Thanks.” I followed him up the monkey bars and sat next to him. “Why didn’t you tell me that my beard was falling off? I looked right at you, and I could tell you were trying not to laugh.”
“I motioned to you. Didn’t you see me put my hand on my chin?”
I shook my head. “You covered your mouth. But you never touched your chin.”
“Sure I did.” Andy flipped through his notebook until he found his Zeraclop City drawings. “It’s okay, though. That’s what made it so funny. What made you think to stall with the commercial?”
“Well, I had to do something! Hey, since I’m finished with my research, maybe I can come over this afternoon to work on the city.”
Andy looked up from his notebook. “Really? I thought you were busy with reading. And skating. And Girl Scouts.”
“I can take a day off, you know.”
Daniel waved up at us, and I waved back. I noticed he was holding a book, some thick one with dragons on the cover, but today he wasn’t reading while wandering the playground.
“Hi, Daniel,” Andy said, climbing down from the bars. “I have that notebook I was telling you about.”
“Cool,” Daniel said.
My mouth dropped right open as I stared at the two of them, talking and laughing. Andy had told Daniel about Zeraclop City? It was supposed to be private, between Anna, Andy, and me!
I jumped down after him. “You told Daniel about the notebook?”
Andy handed the notebook to Daniel, then looked at the ground. “Daniel likes to create cities, too. He’s coming over this afternoon to work on it with me.”
“Yeah, it sounds awesome.” Daniel put his book down and flipped through the notebook. “Wow, you are some artist, Andy!”
“Thanks,” Andy said.
“But—but that was our city, Andy.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “We started working on it with Anna, remember?”
Andy looked over at me and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, sure. But she can’t work on it with me now. And you’re always too busy. Daniel was interested, so I thought I could use his help, too.” He turned to Daniel. “Come on, let’s go to the field. Bryce and Luke want to see the plans, too.”
I crossed my arms in front of my chest and kicked the dirt with my foot. How could Andy do something like this? He didn’t ask my permission, and he certainly hadn’t asked Anna’s!
Daniel turned to look at me. “You coming, Pansy?”
I shook my head, my eyes watering as I watched them walk away. Andy was supposed to be my friend. So what if I’d been too busy over the last few weeks to help him work on the city? Zeraclop was special to me—and to Anna. Didn’t that mean anything to him?
“Pansy!” I was startled out of my thoughts as a group of girls suddenly surrounded me, telling me they liked my costume and my presentation.
“It was the best in the class,” Samantha Dawkins said.
“Yeah,” Lisa Pierce agreed. “It wasn’t boring at all.”
“The commercial was so funny!” Janet Beene added.
Madison, Emma, and Hannah joined, too. “We’ve been looking for you, Pansy!” Madison said. “I saw Andy on the field, but he was with a bunch of boys.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I guess he’d rather hang out with them than me.”
“That’s okay,” Madison said, linking her arm with mine. “You’ve got us to hang out with now. And that’s way better than any old boy!”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Two Weeks, Four Days
The week before Thanksgiving, I pulled out my calendar and crossed off another day, just like I had every other night since I’d found out about Anna’s surgery. But the fluttering that I’d felt inside when I first heard the news had turned into something more solid, like a weight in the bottom of my stomach.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if something went wrong during the surgery? What if the surgeon made a mistake and instead of fixing Anna’s brain caused even more damage? What if Anna got another infection, one she wasn’t strong enough to fight off? What if my mom was right, and there really was no cure for brain damage?
I kept trying to toss those questions out of my head, trying to focus on reading or skating or studying, but as soon as I went to bed, there they were again, racing through my mind.
I thought about Anna, how she was always good at calming me down when I was worried about something. During our poetry unit last year, everyone had to memorize a poem and recite it in front of the entire fourth grade. Parents were invited to the event, there was a reception afterward, and awards were given out for first, second, and third place.
Anna picked a long poem that was written in the olden days, and she memorized the whole thing in a day. I picked out a short funny poem, but I knew I’d forget the words once I got up in front of all those people.
“You can do it,” Anna kept telling me as we recited our poems. “Just pretend like we’re on our way to school, and it’s only me, you, and Andy.”
I shook my head. “How can I pretend like we’re walking to school when I’m standing up on stage in front of all those people? I’ll forget the words, for sure.”
Anna stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Now, close your eyes and say the poem.”
So I did, and Anna burst into applause.
“How’s that gonna work?” Andy asked. “You want Pansy to close her eyes while she’s standing on stage?”
“Sure. There’s no rule that says you have to have your eyes open, is there?”
“I don’t know . . .” I said as we started walking again. “It’ll look pretty weird if I have my eyes closed.”
“Who cares?” Anna said. “If it keeps you from having stage fright, then it doesn’t matter. You might even win the contest.”
I laughed.
“It’s true.” Anna gave my hand a squeeze. “You did a really good job reciting that poem just now.”
Anna’s idea worked. I stood up on stage, closed my eyes, and pretended it was just me, Anna, and Andy on our way to school. I didn’t win any awards, but I got through it, and that’s what mattered.
Anna won third place. But when it was all over, she seemed more excited about me than she did about her ribbon. “You did it!” she said, throwing her arms around me as we stood near the snack table afterward. “Just like I knew you would.”
No matter how worried or nervous I was, Anna always believed in me. And I knew she still did. I would never have put on skates, gone to the top of the list for Independent Reader, or joined Girl Scouts if it weren’t for Anna. But now, it was my turn to be there for her. To believe that she was going to pull through this surgery, that she was going to come out of it stronger than ever before. That she was going to be Anna again and that she would be so proud of me for all I’d done. So I blocked out all those questions and concentrated on one thing only: in less than two weeks, I’d be sure to have my best friend back.
***
My grandparents came to visit for Thanksgiving. Dad baked his special chocolate pecan pie, and Mom made her famous sweet potatoes to go with the other dishes. When Mom and Dad told my grandparents they were really proud of me for all my hard work in fifth grade, I felt myself glowing from the inside out.
“Congratulations!” Grandma gave me a warm smile. “First place in the reading contest! We knew you could do it!”
The reason I’d worked so hard was because of Anna, so I felt a little guilty that I wanted to wrap all that praise around me like a nice warm blanket. But I didn’t feel too guilty. I was proud of myself, too . . . well, except for the first three points I’d earned for a book I read that summer. And then there was that nagging voice that appeared sometimes, the one that said, The only reason you’ve earned so many points is because you read a lot of extra kiddie books. Do you really deserve to be the champion?
“Great job, Pansy,” Grandpop said with a wink. “But don’t forget to leave time for fun.”
“Oh, you!” Grandma said, g
iving Grandpop a little shoulder punch. “Of course she’s having fun! Baking cookies for Girl Scouts, ice-skating at the rink, and she loves to read, don’t you, Pansy?”
I nodded.
“She looks pretty happy to me,” Grandma said.
“I am happy,” I said. “I never thought I could do all this stuff, but it turns out I can.”
Everyone laughed, then they asked all kinds of questions about Girl Scouts and skating and school.
But after supper I thought about what Grandpop said. Reading used to be fun, back when I could pick out the books I wanted instead of just choosing ones that earned the most points. I could read in a lazy way instead of rushing to get through each book. Girl Scouts with Madison could also be fun, but I was already thinking about the next badge we had to complete and worrying about that camping trip in the spring. And ice-skating is plain hard work. What’s fun about having to remember to bend your knees and keep your head up, your arms out, and your ankles strong to avoid landing on your butt every time you take a step? Plus, that rink is freezing! Does anyone really like having frozen fingers and toes?
I used to enjoy just hanging around and having fun. But this year, it wasn’t something I’d included on my list of goals. Anna loved to have fun. Why had I forgotten all about it?
For a minute, I almost told my parents I was going over to Anna’s, like I usually did after we ate our Thanksgiving meal. Our families both ate around the same time, so afterward we’d meet up and talk about how full we were. Then we’d head outside to the swing set or hang out in the treehouse, or sometimes our families would come together to play board games together in the evening.
This was the first time we missed a Thanksgiving get-together, at least that I could remember. No one from the Liddell house called and asked us to come over, and even though I wanted to pick up the phone and invite myself over, I couldn’t. Ever since Andy shared Zeraclop City with Daniel and the other boys, I felt a coolness between us that I didn’t know how to fix.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Four Days
I am so excited!” Miss Quetzel said the first day back after Thanksgiving break. “The Good Citizens party is only a few weeks away, and according to our chart,” she said, turning toward the board, “we’re only a few points away from earning the reward! Now, I’ve spoken to management at the Ice Palace, and they’ll block off part of the ice for those who want lessons during our party. We’ll also have the party room for snacks afterward.”
The class cheered and whooped. I grinned. Everything was coming together just like I’d planned. I was finally learning to ice-skate, and no one would laugh at me during the class party. Not even Zach Turansky.
“Can we have races?” Zach asked after Miss Quetzel finished her pep talk about earning those last few points.
“Races?” Miss Quetzel frowned. “Maybe, if everyone is careful—”
The room exploded in applause. I chewed on my lip. With all my Rollerblade practice and my ice-skating lessons, maybe I’d join in, too. Anna would be so surprised if I entered a race . . . especially if I actually won.
***
“Let’s go sit at the other end of the table,” I told Madison as we walked into the cafeteria.
Andy had been sitting with Daniel ever since we started working on our research projects, but whenever there were empty seats near them, I made sure that’s where we sat. Sometimes, though, Andy didn’t seem to notice. Lately, he and Daniel were talking all the time, drawing new plans for Zeraclop City, and they never asked me to join them. Right now their heads leaned toward one another as they peered over the notebook Andy, Anna, and I had started together.
I felt something boiling up inside of me, and I didn’t like it at all.
When I set my tray down next to Andy, he looked up at me and blinked, like he was surprised to see me.
“I can’t wait to watch Miss Quetzel skate at the party,” Emma said once we were seated. “She’ll probably do a special routine for us. I hope she wears a pink skating dress. I bet it’ll have sequins on it and everything.”
“I call first in line for lessons!” Madison said. “I’ve only been skating once, and I fell about ten times.”
I looked at her. I couldn’t picture it—pretty, graceful Madison losing her balance and falling on the ice, just like me?
“I’ve only been skating once, and I fell thirty times!” Emma said with a giggle.
Hannah didn’t volunteer any information about what kind of skater she was, but if she wasn’t bragging, I could bet she wasn’t an expert either. I might turn out to actually be the best one in the group! Except for Anna, that is.
My stomach flipped over at the thought that she would be there, skating next to me.
“I went roller-blading with Pansy at Gateway Park,” Andy said, glancing at me. “You should have seen her.”
I stared back at Andy. He held my gaze a moment longer, then looked straight at Madison and said, “Did Pansy ever tell you about the time she got pulled by three dogs across the park?”
Laughter rose into the air. I felt my face heat up from my cheeks all the way to the tips of my ears. He’d promised not to say a word to anyone about that!
“It’s true,” Andy said. “Pansy was trying to learn how to roller-blade, and she got tangled up in their leashes. She came about this close”—I watched in horror as he held up his thumb and pointer finger—“to landing in the duck pond.”
“I did not almost land in the duck pond,” I said, but no one was listening. Emma and Madison were giggling. Hannah hee-hawed, and even Daniel let out a hoot.
I narrowed my eyes at Andy.
“Why didn’t you just let go of the leashes?” Daniel asked when the laughter died down.
“Of course I let go of the leashes.”
“She sure did,” Andy said. “It was a spectacular fall, too.”
I shot him a dirty look.
“Weren’t you scared?” Madison asked me. “I would have been scared to death.”
“The dogs must have been running really fast,” Emma added.
“They were flying,” I said. There was no point denying it now, so I made the most of it. “They were going about a hundred miles an hour!”
“Actually,” Daniel said, “it couldn’t have been a hundred miles an hour. Unless you were being pulled by cheetahs.”
Andy laughed louder than necessary at Daniel’s joke.
What was wrong with Andy? Why was he being so mean to me? First, he shared Zeraclop City when it was supposed to be private between me and Anna and him. And now, here he was, trying to get people to make fun of me after he had promised not to tell what happened that day at the park!
“It’s not like you’re such a great skater,” I spat out toward him. “Anna’s the one with all the coordination. She could skate circles around you.”
A shadow passed over Andy’s eyes, and he looked down at his lunch. One minute he was having a great time watching everyone laugh at me. But as soon as I mentioned Anna’s name, everything changed.
“Anna wasn’t only good at roller-blading,” I continued, glad no one was laughing at me anymore. “She took ice-skating lessons, too. Andy wouldn’t even sign up. It’s obvious who got the athletic talent in the Liddell family,” I said with a laugh.
No one joined in my laughter. Instead, my words had sent a hush across the table. Everyone just stared at me, like they were shocked at what I had said. I didn’t get why they were shocked—Andy had told the truth about me; now I was telling the truth about him.
Andy peeled his orange peel off in a long spiral. When he spoke, his voice was so low I had to lean forward to hear him. “Why do you always do that? Why do you always bring up Anna?”
I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “I happen to like talking about Anna.”
“Well, this conversation doesn’t have anything to do with her.”
Andy did not have the right to tell me when I could or couldn’t talk abo
ut Anna. “It has everything to do with Anna,” I said, running my fingers over my necklace. “Besides, I can talk about her whenever I want to. She’s my best friend, you know.”
Andy’s eyes locked with mine. “But she’s my twin sister,” he said. Then he picked up his uneaten orange, threw it in his lunchbox, and shut the lid tight. He stood, pushed his chair in so that it banged against the table, grabbed his lunchbox, and stormed out of the cafeteria without stopping to ask permission to leave.
“Oooh, Andy’s in big trouble now,” Hannah said. “I sure hope Miss Quetzel doesn’t take Good Citizens points away from the class for his misbehavior in the cafeteria.”
“There are more important things than Good Citizens points,” I snapped back at her. I wanted to run after Andy and ask him why he was so angry. Was it because I’d said Anna was more athletic than he was? Andy knew it was the truth, and he never seemed to care before. I knew he couldn’t really be mad about the fact that I liked to talk about Anna . . . Was it something else, something that I hadn’t said at the table? Did it have something to do with Anna’s surgery? It was this Friday, only a few days away. We hadn’t talked about the surgery again, not since I first told him I knew about it. But then we hadn’t spent that much time together lately, except for on the way to school.
As we got closer to the big day, I found that I didn’t want to talk about it at all. Just saying the words “Anna’s brain surgery” gave me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Well, it didn’t really matter what Andy was upset about. I couldn’t go after him, not after he’d broken his promise and embarrassed me in front of everyone. Besides, if I left the cafeteria without permission, I might get blamed by my class if we lost Good Citizens points.
It was Daniel Walker, not me, who got up from the table.
“I can’t believe it!” Hannah said. “They are both going to be in so much trouble.”
I didn’t say anything as I watched Daniel push open the door of the cafeteria, letting it swing shut behind him.
“What’s going on with you two anyway?” Madison asked me.
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