“Pull the rod out of your ass and have a seat. You might actually enjoy yourself if you give this half a chance.” She waited until he obeyed then sat next to him on couch. They both needed to relax and decompress from the nonstop action of the past few days. Hopefully her uptight Mystic would allow himself to be swept away. “Activate screen.” Slim compartments in the ceiling and floor slid open and a light gray image cascaded from top to bottom, completely concealing the far wall. “Play Dracula 2000.”
Evan watched the movie with rapt interest and Dro Tar watched him. She wasn’t about to confess that her primary attraction to the film was Gerard Butler’s gorgeous face and sexy persona. Evan seemed plenty entertained by the swelling cleavage of the female vampires. And they both squirmed through the sex-on-the-ceiling scene.
By the time the credit’s rolled Evan’s gaze had turned dark and hungry. “That was surprisingly engrossing. I couldn’t imagine how a completely passive experience would entertain.” He took her empty glass from her hand and set it next to his on the end table. “We need to talk.”
She shook her head. “We’ve done way too much talking over the past few days. Can’t we just enjoy each other?”
He sighed, but nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what I need. Let me accept that this is real before we complicate it with anything else.”
Without a word, he stood and kicked off his sandals. He parted the center seam of his robe and let the garment pool around his feet. Just like that he stood before her naked, stunning, obviously ready for action. “Real enough for you?”
She stood as well and quickly undressed. He didn’t help her, simply watched her, his shimmering gaze telling her all she needed to know. Despite her refusal to speak the words, this meant more than physical pleasure to them both.
Desire and tenderness surged within her, yet fear and years of self-preservation held her back. His hands settled on her shoulders and he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers.
“Kiss me.” It was a breathless command.
She parted her lips and eased her tongue into his warm mouth. His familiar taste registered, sending ripples of excitement deep into her body. Evan, her Evan. Why did she fight against these feelings when her entire body hungered for his touch?
He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her firmly against his chest and the rapidly growing ridge of his erection. His mouth became more demanding, his tongue tangling with hers. She ran her hands up and down his back, savoring the strength so obvious in his body’s shape.
His hands moved to frame her face and his tongue took control of the kiss. Heat flooded her sex and made her skin tingle. It never failed. The more aggressive he became, the more she liked it. It shouldn’t make sense, but it felt natural, right.
She felt a subtle presence in her mind, easing inward, giving her plenty of time to stop the penetration. Only once before had he formed a psychic link while they made love. The experience had left her weak and dizzy, and utterly stunned by the force of their shared emotions.
You are safe, nephri. I will never hurt you.
Beloved. It was bittersweet each time she heard the word.
He shifted his head and kissed her with renewed vigor. His desire rushed into her mind, making her moan into his open mouth. She could feel his hunger, how desperately he wanted to be inside her, and his determination to bring her pleasure first. But a tantalizing image hovered at the back of his mind. He pictured her on her knees, sweetly surrendered as he rocked into her mouth. They might have reviewed the scene in the stairwell, but it was with him still.
A violent shiver shook her and she eased away, slowly sinking to her knees. She looked into his eyes as she locked her hands behind her head. Possessive need erupted in his expression a millisecond before it blasted into her mind. Her offer thrilled him so deeply, he’d nearly lost control. The realization filled her with a dizzying sense of power.
He touched the side of her face and traced her lips with his thumb. She encouraged him with a teasing lick. He moved closer, guiding his cock toward her waiting mouth. Her lips parted and her tongue greeted him with a slow, wet swirl. His eyes drifted closed for a moment then his gaze drilled into hers.
She never felt more powerful than when she was on her knees with her love gliding in and out of her mouth. His entire body was tense, his features locked in an expression of bliss. And she had taken him there. She sucked harder, swiping his tip with the flat of her tongue, eagerly spreading his taste throughout her mouth.
He teased her nipples and stroked her upraised arms without losing rhythm with his hips. “I don’t want to come like this, but you feel so damn good.”
Unclasping her hands, she grasped his hips and prevented his retreat. She needed this even more than he did. Needed to feel him tremble and know she was capable of snapping his control. His shaft caressed her lips as she stubbornly drew upon him.
His back arched and his eyes closed as an orgasm raced toward him. He buried his fingers in her hair and cried out sharply, pushing deep into her mouth. She sucked and swallowed, savoring the salty-sharp taste of his release.
He pulled out of her mouth and drew her up along his body, frantically claiming her mouth. His tongue moved boldly and his lips clung as emotions flowed freely across their connection. He loved that she enjoyed pleasuring him as much as he enjoyed pleasuring her, and the taste of his seed on her tongue unleashed primal instincts.
Mine. He whispered the claim in her mind without releasing her lips.
She tore her mouth away and shook her head. “I won’t be owned by anyone.” A lifetime of bitterness rushed through her mind, reinforcing her resolve. “I won’t become my mother.”
Still breathing harshly, he refused to turn her loose, but his hold on her eased. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to own you, but you are my mate.”
She twisted within his arms and turned her face away. “It’s not possible. Even if you weren’t a Master-level Mage, you’re from one of the six great houses.”
“Which makes me unworthy of your love?” He sounded incredulous. “Has your commander really tainted your thinking so badly you—”
“This has nothing to do with Trey.”
“I know he hates Mystics. His resentment is clear for all to see.”
She tried one last time to break free of his embrace, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to let her go. Finally she sighed and looked at him. “I’m not the kind of woman a man like you would choose for a life mate. It’s cruel to pretend you would… I know what I am.”
Evan stared down into her tear-bright eyes confused and sorrowful. “What do you think I want from you?”
“A social alliance.” She stubbornly blinked back her tears. “A temporary agreement so we can both work this out of our systems.”
“And why do you believe that is all I could ever want from you?”
Her shoulders drooped and shadows filled her gaze. “Do you need to hear it? Fine, I’ll say it. You’re elite. You have access to the highest levels of society.”
“Yet you’re the one who walked into Director dar Aune’s office without an appointment.”
She glanced at him then lowered her eyes again. “It’s not the same and you know it. I’m Trey’s pet project, nothing more.”
The wistfulness in her tone dragged a question to the surface that he’d promised himself he’d never ask. “But you wanted him to be more?”
With a sharp lunge she broke free from his grasp and rushed for the bedroom. He teleported to the bed and smiled as she slammed and locked the door. She blew out a shaky sigh then turned around and screamed.
“You asshole! You scared the shit out of me.” If she hadn’t been so angry, she would have noticed that his arrival triggered the overhead lights.
“Answer the question. Are you in love with Trey dar Aune? Is that why you hold yourself back from me?”
She glared at him. “Did it feel like I was holding back a few minute
s ago?”
He scooted back against the headboard and crossed his legs at the ankle. “Come here.”
“No. I came in here for a reason. I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Then don’t talk. Listen.” He held out his hand, struggling to keep his gaze on her face. She was naked and flushed and he wanted to wrestle her beneath him and burry his cock in her warmth.
She snatched a fringed throw off the chair by the window then sat on the bottom corner of the bed, covering herself with the small blanket.
Stubborn to the end. He fought back a smile, knowing it would only make her more prickly. “Finding out you believed I was a coward was the most painful thing I’ve ever endured.”
“But I—”
He cut her off with an upraised hand. “I’m not looking for another apology. I understand why you pushed me away. Now I want to explain why it hurt me so badly.” He waited until she nodded to proceed. “My father died when I was twelve and my mother was devastated. Her family is rich and powerful and has been since before the Great Conflict. Her mother insisted Father was beneath her and demanded she choose another, but my mother loved my father and wanted no one else.”
“Love matches are extremely rare among the great houses.”
“I know, and as a child it made me feel special to know my parents genuinely loved each other.”
“How did he die?”
“My maternal grandparents bought him a commandership. They felt he needed to prove himself worthy of their daughter and the military offered the most opportunities. Besides, my grandfather was a war hero. He was awarded every metal you can imagine during the Great Conflict.”
She fiddled with the fringe on the blanket, one knee peeking out from beneath the edge. “Did your father want to be a soldier or did he do it to please his in-laws?”
“A bit of both. He had an aptitude for teaching. Cadets liked him and learned quickly under his guidance, but he knew my grandfather expected feats of bravery, not intellectual challenges.”
“Did he die in battle? Surely your grandfather would have considered that brave.”
Evan swallowed past the lump in his throat as he struggled for the right words. “He put in for a transfer that took him into battle. His first mission was a disaster and he realized he was in over his head. Rather than admit defeat, he accepted another mission, but in the middle of the fighting he panicked.”
Her eyes widened and she raised her hand to her mouth. “Did he…”
“Yes. He ran. He deserted his men to a slaughter as he tried to save his own life.” Pain lanced through him, the dark sucking anguish he had worked countless cycles to tame. His heart beat so fast he could hear the frantic rhythm in his ears and the story was far from over. “The Rodytes captured him before he could get away. They tortured and mutilated him, then dumped his broken body in a public square with the word ‘coward’ carved into his chest.”
Dro Tar crawled across the bed and straddled his lap, blanket forgotten. “I am so sorry.” She pressed her warm palms against his cheeks and stared into his eyes. “I had no idea.”
He turned his head and kissed the center of her palm, needing a momentary break from the pity he saw in her eyes. Pity was a natural reaction to a tragic story, but it wasn’t what he wanted her to feel. “My grandparents were horrible.” Slowly, he dragged his gaze back to hers and willed his heart back into a steady rhythm. “Rather than comfort their devastated daughter, they insisted they’d tried to warn her. My father was worthless and she’d brought it on herself by disobeying them.”
“You were twelve when all this happened?” She slid her hands down to his shoulders and sat back on his thighs.
“I tried to comfort her, but I was grieving too. If I hadn’t exhibited Mystic potential, I’m not sure what I would have done. I was invited to the Choosing a few weeks later and my life at the Conservatory began.”
“Was your mother left alone with her parents? What happened to your sisters?”
“My mother refused to move back in with her parents. Focusing on being a good mother to my sisters helped her heal. A few cycles later she accepted a social alliance with an old friend. Their relationship is different than the love she shared with her life mate, but she seems content.”
“I’m glad. No one deserves—”
“There is one more thing you need to know. When my mother heard your account of my actions, she was tormented all over again. Her parents insisted that my father’s blood had finally surfaced in me and she shouldn’t be surprised by my cowardice.”
“Oh gods, I’m sorry.” She pressed her lips together and frantically blinked back tears. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty. The last thing I want is your pity. I just need you to understand why I was so angry and why I couldn’t let it go.” The tightness in his chest gradually lessened. She knew the entire truth now.
“But you can let go now? We’ve had no contact for fifteen cycles. What changed?”
She sounded hopeless and that hadn’t been his intention when he decided to trust her with this story. “You refused to see me. I tried multiple times to contact you.”
“I didn’t know about the other ship,” she cried, crossing her arms over her breasts.
“At first I thought you were just angry, but when my messages kept being declined I figured you wanted a clean break. Seeing me would remind you of the tragedy and the last thing I wanted was to cause you more pain.”
“That wasn’t why I wouldn’t see you.”
“Then why?” Unwilling to deny himself the softness of her skin a moment longer, he lightly rested his hands on her hips.
“I was in a social alliance with Bron.”
He nodded. “You already told me.”
“I cheated on him when I fell for you. Sex was part of the job, but loving you…” She tried to roll away, but he held her in place.
“Say it again.”
“I cheated on Bron.”
He reached back and pinched her ass. “Tell me you love me.”
“No.” Her chin came up in an all too common show of rebellion. “I might have loved you then, but I can’t love you now.”
“You said can’t not don’t. Why can’t you love me?”
She stared at him in mutinous silence, but his heart began to soar. She loved him. She might not be ready to admit the fact, but it was clearly written in her eyes.
“You didn’t set out to betray Bron.” They had to put this in the past once and for all. Guilt was obviously what anchored the events in her memory. But why did she still feel guilty? “Even after our attraction flared you did everything you could so it wouldn’t turn physical. We just ran out of excuses.”
She shook her head and lowered her voice to a miserable whisper. “I gave you my heart long before I gave you my body. Cheaters never change. My mother was proof of that.”
Her mother was a worthless whore who… No, that wasn’t fair. Her mother compounded tragic circumstances with bad decisions. That didn’t make her life any less tragic. “You’re not your mother.”
She was so mired in the past that she didn’t seem to hear him. “You deserve someone who won’t fall for the first pretty face she comes across.”
“You think I’m pretty?” A chuckle slipped out and she glared at him.
“I’m serious. My mother swore she would stay true to every man she—”
“You are not your mother.” He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he had to interrupt her downward spiral. He cupped her chin and raised her face until she looked into his eyes. “How many lovers have you had in the past fifteen cycles?”
After a silent pause, she said, “Three.”
“Did you cheat on any of them?”
“No.”
“Then I’ll risk it. If we had met under different circumstances, I know you would not have broken your vow to Bron to be with me. The fact that it still bothers you proves that you don’t
have the heart of a cheater.”
He brushed his thumb over her lips until she smiled then he leaned down and kissed her. It was a slow, soothing kiss, almost chaste compared to their usual exchanges.
“You’re brilliant, creative, unique, and compassionate.” He accented each adjective with another kiss.
“I wasn’t fishing for compliments, but thank you.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
She still seemed reserved and he didn’t understand why. “Are you in love with Trey?”
She nipped his thumb—hard. “I can’t believe you’re jealous of Trey. I was never in love with him. He was kind to me. He understood and protected me. There has never been anything sexual between us. I told you that already.”
He slid his hands up her sides, brushing the swell of her breasts with his thumbs. “You expect me to believe you thought of him as a big brother?” He laughed. “I’ve seen the man and I know you better than that.”
Her nipples tightened as she squirmed beneath his teasing touch. “Ok, so I found him attractive. What straight female wouldn’t? It didn’t take long to realize the things I found appealing in Trey—he’s confident, strong, incredibly controlled, and yet he’s still remarkably gentle. All of those things reminded me of you.”
He searched her gaze, trying to determine if she meant it or if she was just telling him what he wanted to hear. The link he’d created was still active which disrupted his empathic receptors. All he had to do was scan her mind and he’d know exactly what she felt. But he was trying to build trust, not interrogate her.
“Besides, Trey never looked at me with desire in his eyes, not even once. He is head over heels in love with his wife, so there is nothing to worry about.”
He stilled and returned his hand to her hip. “Then why can’t you love me?”
* * * * *
Malos centered his weight on the balls of his feet and drew energy into his mental shields. Master Hesuto was good, but Malos was better. Years of unconventional training had prepared him for this day. He flooded his mind with memories and experiences, cluttering his neuro pathways, blocking Hesuto’s efforts to separate specific information.
Mystic Flame Page 12
