by T J Mayhew
No sooner had he sat down than the curtain was swept aside and Badden entered, closely followed by Owain and the other men they had been talking to; amongst them, stood Bran and his father, Gadeon and Osric…
“What the Hell…?” Logan exclaimed, only seconds behind the rest of the knights who now stood, swords in hand.
“What is the meaning of this?” Kay growled, his eyes finding Gadeon in the crowd. “Gadeon? Osric?”
Ignoring Kay, Badden stepped forward, his eyes focused, solely, on Cai; approaching his King, he bowed his head in respect. “My Lord, forgive our impertinence,” he began, glancing anxiously at Cai. “But after what we have witnessed…” He paused. “We all wish to make it absolutely clear that we are more determined than ever to see Mordred and his forces destroyed. Whatever you need from us, we will do; you have our word.”
As one, the band of battle-weary men nodded, murmuring their agreement.
Cai looked at them, recognising the determination and commitment in their faces. Standing, he faced Badden and the group. “Thank you,” he said, bowing his head in acknowledgment. “I’m grateful for what you all did last night… Good people have fallen but we all still stand, to fight – for Camelot, for our families.” He swept his gaze over the group. “Your loyalty hasn’t gone unnoticed and, whatever is decided here today, you shall be the first to know; you have my word.”
Satisfied, Badden and his men bowed before taking their leave of the knights as they placed their swords back on the Table and took their seats once more.
“You all know why we are here,” Cai began. “Last night, Mordred invaded Camelot; he took our loved ones from us…” He hesitated briefly before adding, “He took my mother, your Queen… We need to find him.”
Lancelot turned to face him. “My Lord, may I speak?”
Cai turned to him and nodded.
Lancelot met his gaze. “Before we do anything, we must find Merlin; he must be our priority.”
Cai felt all eyes upon him as he digested Lancelot’s words. How could he be talking like this? Didn’t he want Guinevere back, just as much as he did? He glared at the knight, barely in control of his anger. “Are you suggesting we abandon my mother?” he asked quietly.
Lancelot shook his head adamantly. “No, of course not. I’d never…” he protested vehemently, clearly hurt that Cai could think so little of him. He paused for a moment, collecting himself. “But we all need to understand…” he continued, pointedly, “that we need Merlin’s power to defeat Morgan and Nimue; without him, we have no hope of rescuing your mother.” He addressed the room as he continued, “What we witnessed last night… this is not just a battle of men; this is a battle of…” He fell silent; how could he explain it to them when he couldn’t explain it even to himself?
Against all his instincts, Cai saw the sense in what Lancelot was saying.
“My Lord,” Lancelot continued, “we are not abandoning your mother; we are thinking as Knights. Guinevere would understand that.”
Cai sat silently as it all sank in; he knew Lancelot was right but that didn’t stop him fearing the worst. “But what if, in concentrating on Merlin, it means…”
“Mordred wouldn’t harm her,” Kay was eager to point out.
Cai glared at him. “But how do you know that?” he demanded.
“Have you forgotten what he said?” Kay asked. “He could not marry her, if he killed her.”
Cai wasn’t convinced. After all, Mordred had already held a knife to her throat; there was no telling what he might do in a fit of rage. But Lancelot was right: he had to think logically; he had to think with his head, not his heart and Merlin was the key to this war.
“Merlin was the only one able to stand against her at the lake…” Bedivere reminded them all, as if reading his thoughts.
Rubbing his forehead, wearily, Cai conceded. “OK, fine; we find Merlin first.” And, he had to admit, the thought of having Merlin back in their midst, was a comforting one.
“How?” Percival asked. “How can we look for Merlin when we have no idea where he is?”
Everyone fell silent; no one had an answer.
“Didn’t Nimue say he was in a prison of ice or something?” Logan questioned.
“Yes, that’s very helpful,” Kay commented sarcastically.
Logan glared at him but, before he had a chance to retaliate, Galahad spoke.
“Merlin was her tutor…” the knight began thoughtfully. “Maybe there is a clue, however small, in his chambers…”
Cai’s head snapped up at these words, an idea forming...
Without a word, he jumped up and fled from the room.
37
It hadn’t taken Cai long to find what he was looking for and, with his attention focused on his search, he was finally able to think about something other than his mother. Returning to the Great Hall, he held the object aloft for everyone to see.
“This might help,” he declared, depositing the book on the table.
Everyone stared at it, clearly unaware of what made this object so special.
For his part, Cai was spellbound; for him, this was where his journey had begun. The powers hidden within had changed his life and he had read no more of it since it had been returned to Merlin. Now, he wondered if this could hold the key to finding him.
It was a long shot, but it was all they had.
Lancelot looked at Cai, frowning. “What is this, my Lord?”
“A book,” Logan replied without missing a beat and cast a sly glance at Cai. When he saw the intense look on Cai’s face, he fell silent.
“Cai?” Lancelot pressed. “What is it?”
“The Book of Legend,” Cai murmured, tearing his gaze away.
Lancelot shook his head, glancing down at the book. “I don’t understand…” he admitted.
“Merlin wrote in this book,” Cai explained, excitedly, looking around at his audience; at last, they could be a step closer to finding Merlin and rescuing his mother. “He wrote about things that were important to him,” he continued, “important to Camelot; it goes all the way back to when he was a child.” He held Lancelot’s gaze. “Maybe it has something about Nimue in it.”
Kay reached out, picking up the book. “How did you come by this?” he asked, turning it over in his hands.
Cai turned back to the knights. “This book is the reason why I’m here. Well, that and Merlin’s powers. I found it at Stonehenge,” he added, glancing at Logan.
Logan sat up, suddenly interested. “Is that why you were acting so strange?” he demanded.
Cai nodded, before pointing to the book in Kay’s hands. “Merlin put a spell on that book in order to bring me here.”
Kay immediately dropped the book and stared at Cai fearfully. “It is a magical book?” he demanded.
Cai shook his head, wishing Merlin were here to help him explain. “It was… but I don’t think it is now.” He picked up the book and gazed at the cover, aware he no longer felt that same pull he had experienced before, the one that had consumed him, driving all rational thought from his mind. He looked up at the knights. “It might be worth reading…”
Galahad took the book, nodding thoughtfully. “I hope that is so, my Lord.”
“So, now all we need to do is decide who reads it,” Logan pointed out. “I’ll do it if no one else wants to…” He looked eagerly at the book in Galahad’s hands. “It might be quite interesting to…”
“No.” The word came out far more forcefully than Cai had intended; Logan frowned at him.
“Why?” he demanded, clearly offended. “Don’t you trust me?”
Cai held Logan’s gaze, the air around them suddenly charged. Sighing, he said, “No, it’s not that, it’s just… I have other plans for us.” Turning to Galahad, he nodded at the book in his hands, and asked, “Would you be willing to read it?”
Galahad took the book, bowing his head. “As you wish, my Lord.”
“Make a note of anything interesting, however insig
nificant it may seem,” Cai instructed.
“Yes, my Lord.”
“And, as for us,” he said, turning back to Logan. “The knights will train us, and anyone able to fight, so that we are better prepared to face Mordred next time.”
Even as he spoke, Cai felt the fires of his anger burning within and he was determined to put them to good use.
If Cai had thought Gadeon’s forge was loud before, it was nothing compared to the cacophony of sounds that filled the air now. After the meeting that morning, every available blacksmith and their apprentice were now working at the anvils; the resulting clang of metal on metal, the roar of the fire pits, the hiss of the newly forged metal as it was dunked into water, all combined to make a noise so deafening, Cai could barely think, let alone talk.
Standing in the doorway, he scoured the dark forge, blinking back tears as acrid smoke stung his eyes, lingering stubbornly in the air and clinging to anything it could. The heat was so overwhelming that Cai found himself sweating profusely under his armour as he made his way over to Gadeon and Osric who were busy inspecting a selection of weapons on a table.
“Gadeon…” he began, sighing inwardly as, upon hearing the voice of his king, Gadeon dropped to one knee, Osric and the other blacksmiths quickly following suit. He forced a smile, trying to keep his frustration in check. “Return to your work,” he ordered quickly, keen for these men to waste no more time than necessary; they had an important job to do. As Gadeon rose to his feet, Cai refocused his attention on the blacksmith. “I need another sword; the one I have been training with today is too...” He shrugged helplessly. “Well, it’s not right for me.” He glanced furtively around the forge, glad to see everyone was, again, focused on their work; he didn’t want to remind them he had lost Excalibur to Mordred.
Gadeon held his gaze, nodding knowingly. “Follow me, my Lord,” he said quietly, indicating for Cai to follow him to the back of the forge. “I have just what you need…”
For a moment, hope flared in Cai’s chest; had the blacksmith found Excalibur? But his heart sank when Gadeon presented him with a sword that, clearly, wasn’t the one he was hoping for. Taking his new sword, he was glad to see it was similar in length to Excalibur and the weight and balance not far off, either. “Thank you, Gadeon; I really appreciate this,” he said gratefully, eager to return to training.
Gadeon bowed his head. “These last days have been…” the blacksmith began.
“I know,” Cai interrupted.
“But we will endure, my Lord.”
Cai smiled. “Yeah… we will, Gadeon.”
The blacksmith held his gaze for a moment, before adding, “As will the Lady Guinevere.”
Cai dropped his gaze, unable to look the other man in the eyes. “I hope you’re right,” he admitted quietly, his earlier decision still weighing heavily upon him.
Gadeon smiled. “I should return; the fires call me back.”
Cai returned his smile and, after a hasty goodbye, left the forge for the training arena; now that he had a sword he could work with, he would immerse himself in his training…
“Hey, Cai!”
Cai paused as Logan hurried towards him from the stables.
“You heading down to the arena?” Logan asked, falling into step beside him.
Cai nodded. “Yeah, I was just getting a new sword from Gadeon; I couldn’t get on with the other one.”
Logan winced. “It sucks that Mordred has Excalibur; I mean, talk about unlucky!”
Cai scowled at him. “Thanks, mate; that makes me feel a lot better…”
They walked in silence for a moment until Logan asked, “Are you OK?”
Cai scoffed. “As OK as I can be, under the circumstances, I guess.”
Logan glanced at him. “Look, if you ever want to talk…” he began awkwardly. “I mean… we’re friends, right, so… if you wanted to talk about all this, then…”
“Thanks, Logan,” Cai interrupted. “But, right now, the last thing I want to do is talk. I just want to get back to training and focus on that…”
Logan nodded. “Yeah, OK, I get that; but… the offer’s there, OK?”
Cai grinned, grateful for the offer. “Thanks.”
As they arrived at the arena, Cai soon spotted Badden talking to Owain. He glanced at Logan. “Just… give me a minute, would you?” Without waiting for a reply, he made his way over to Badden. As he approached, the two men turned to him, bowing. “Can I talk to you?” he asked, his eyes fixed on Badden.
“Of course, my Lord.” He glanced at Owain who bowed to Cai before taking his leave.
“How is Aelwen?” Cai asked, without preamble, as Badden turned his attention back to him. “I saw her last night; she said was fine but… I haven’t seen her today…”
Badden smiled. “She is well, considering,” he replied. “Battered and bruised…”
“Her wrist…” Cai began.
“Thankfully, it is not broken, but it pains her greatly,” Badden stated. “Not that you’d know it; she is as determined as ever to carry on, in spite of it.” He smiled, fondly. “She is too much like her mother…” Recollecting himself, he inclined his head. “Thank you for your concern, my Lord.”
Cai shifted his feet awkwardly. “I never got the chance to tell her before but… will you tell her I said thank you?” Seeing Badden’s confusion, he explained, “She saved my life.” He cleared his throat nervously, before continuing, “I want you both to know that, if you ever need anything, anything at all, all you have to do is ask.”
Badden, clearly touched by his words, bowed his head. “Thank you, my Lord. I shall carry your message.”
Cai nodded and, taking his leave, returned to Logan who had been watching them closely.
“What is it with you and that girl?” Logan demanded coldly.
“She saved my life, Logan,” Cai retorted. “I owe her.”
“Is that all it is?” he asked suspiciously.
Cai remained silent; the truth was, he didn’t know what it was but he did know he didn’t have the time, or inclination, to figure it out right now… not when there were much more important things he needed to focus on.
38
The next couple of days felt strange for Cai; being back at Camelot, training alongside the knights and Logan once more… it was easy to believe he was right back at the beginning, where this had all started…
But he wasn’t.
This was all very real and he only had to look around him to see that; everyone bore the scars, both mental and physical, to attest to that.
Every man was focused and there was a real sense of urgency in their training now, something that had been lacking previously. He, now, finally understood what Kay and Gawain had been trying to teach him; what he had witnessed that night in Camelot had changed him forever and he could never go back to the boy he had once been.
Training sessions were longer now, more brutal and intense, with the knights pushing their men to greater feats of endurance as they strove to get the best from them. Cai and Logan readily suffered alongside them, but, whereas, Cai had once resented Kay’s harsh treatment of him, now he welcomed it as it gave him two things he desperately needed: a chance to improve his skills and no time to think about his mother and Merlin.
But, not even his training was enough to keep his frustration and impatience at bay and, in an attempt to find Merlin, Cai had sent out groups of men in search of any word of him or Nimue. When they returned with no news at the end of the second day, Cai was disappointed but not really surprised for, as Logan was quick to point out, Nimue wasn’t stupid enough to leave clues of their whereabouts.
At night, he would lay awake imagining his mother’s terror, imagining what horrors Mordred might, even now, be inflicting upon her; he would lay awake certain he could hear her screams, feel her pain…
When sleep eventually claimed him, his terror would continue; dreams of the cave plagued him each night, some more detailed than others, but all, equally r
eal. Voices would echo in his sub-conscious, becoming stronger every time, and he would wake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, his heart pounding, barely able to catch his breath. They even hounded him in his waking moments and it took all of his willpower to stop them affecting his training.
Logan realised, pretty quickly, that something was wrong and he soon started asking questions Cai couldn’t bear to face. Thankfully, he was able to blame his behaviour solely on his concerns for his mother and Merlin, conveniently leaving out any reference to the dreams; the last thing he wanted, right now, was Logan thinking he was crazy or, worse, feeling sorry for him. But Logan wasn’t stupid and it wasn’t long before he refused to be put off any longer.
“OK, I’m just gonna ask you straight out,” Logan announced as they led their horses back into the Lower Courtyard. “Are you OK? And I want the truth this time.”
Cai looked at him. “I’m fine,” he insisted.
Logan narrowed his eyes. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” The question was blunt, revealing his frustration and hurt. “Because I’ve shared a room with you for the past… I don’t know how long, and I can tell when something’s off. And the other night, I swear, you were having a nightmare or something,” he added accusingly.
Cai felt a surge of anger rise; Logan was close to figuring out the truth and the last thing he needed, was for it to be common knowledge that he was having nightmares. He rounded on Logan, directing all his rage at him. “Nothing’s wrong, OK?” he snapped, oblivious to the curious looks his outburst had attracted. “Well, nothing apart from the obvious,” he continued. “I just don’t need you going on at me all the time, just… get off my back.” He regretted his words as soon as they were out but, it was too late, he couldn’t take them back.
