by T J Mayhew
Cai stared at him, unsure of what he was about to say; realising Logan was watching them, he glanced at him. “Logan, would you…?” he asked pointedly.
Logan waved a hand. “Oh, yeah, sure.” He stood up, glancing at Badden before looking back to Cai. “I’ll be just over there… if you need me…”
Cai watched him walk away, making sure he was well out of earshot before he turned his attention back to Badden. “What is it, Badden?” he asked, bracing himself for the inevitable. This was the moment Badden would tell him to stay away from Aelwen…
“My Lord,” Badden began quietly. “I am no fool; I understood the risks of battle when I swore fealty to you…”
Cai stared at him, taken aback by his words; this was not how he had expected this conversation to start.
“Cai, get down!”
Cai looked around for the source of the warning but… it was too late.
Something hit the back of his head and a loud screech rent the air. Cai was vaguely aware of men shouting from somewhere nearby as he fought against the relentless attack of the bird that had somehow managed to latch onto him, its talons piercing his scalp.
He tried, in vain, to swat the bird away as pain lanced through his unprotected head, arms and hands, but it simply launched itself into the air, before swooping down for another attack.
“Percival, call her off!” Kay demanded from somewhere to Cai’s left; Cai was vaguely aware of his uncle sprinting over as Badden dragged him to the ground and frantically attempted to scare the bird away.
A commanding shout and a whistle rang through the arena; suddenly Cai was free of the talons and, cautiously lowering his arms, watched as the bird flew back to her master’s arm. Percival offered his bird a piece of raw meat but Cai was horrified when the creature ignored it, its eyes still trained upon Cai, as if he were now its prey.
“I’m sorry, my Lord,” Percival apologised, hurrying over as Cai got to his feet, ignoring Kay’s, Badden’s and Logan’s attempts to see if he was OK. “That has never happened before; Shadowstar is usually a placid creature.”
Cai jerked as Percival approached, his arms raised. “Well, keep it away from me,” he insisted, never taking his eyes from the bird. He scowled as he became aware of a throbbing in his head. Looking down at his arms and hands, he saw blood soaking through his shirt.
“She has not been herself since…” Percival couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. He rubbed the bird’s head affectionately but the bird’s attention was still firmly fixed on Cai.
Logan frowned. “That doesn’t mean that you can let it run riot.” He looked at Cai. “You OK?”
Cai nodded but said nothing, still glaring resentfully at the bird.
Percival glared at Logan. “I can assure you, I did not,” he protested indignantly.
Suddenly the bird let out an angry squawk, shook its head and ruffled its feathers, as if affronted by their conversation.
Logan scoffed. “That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing,” he retorted.
“Whatever,” Cai said dismissively as he stared furiously at the bird before turning to see to his wounds.
“Forgive me, my Lord…”
Cai paused.
That voice…
“It was not my intention to attack you but Shadowstar, it seems, can put up quite a fight…”
41
Logan frowned in disbelief. “Hang on a second,” he declared, resting his head in his hands exasperatedly. “I just don’t understand...” He looked up at the hawk perched high on the vacant chair to his right. “You’re a bird?” he asked, for what seemed like the thousandth time.
Cai glanced around the table, wanting to see at least one knight who didn’t look as bewildered as he felt but was greeted only with confused faces. Not surprising really, he thought to himself, especially after what we’ve just heard.
He looked at the bird, now busy preening herself, oblivious to the fact that eight pairs of eyes were staring at her, as they tried to process what she had just told them.
What Merlin had just told them, Cai corrected himself. Shaking his head, he found himself questioning his sanity for the hundredth time in the past half hour. Was this really what it had come to? Had the stress of the last few days finally made him lose his mind? If that were the case, then everyone in Camelot was suffering from the same madness.
When Shadowstar had first spoken with Merlin’s voice, the entire arena had fallen silent as everyone within struggled to come to terms with what they had heard. Cai had immediately called a meeting of the Knights of the Round Table, leaving the remaining men to continue their training.
Gawain’s chair creaked as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the Table, his eyes never leaving Shadowstar as he spoke. “A bird?” he questioned in disbelief, echoing Logan’s earlier words.
“That is correct,” the bird acknowledged.
“But...” Logan shook his head, his helpless gaze meeting Cai’s beseechingly. “It just doesn’t make any sense,” he said, unable to take it in.
Cai stared helplessly back at him; what could he say? Everyone here was in the same boat, all trying to comprehend the incomprehensible.
“How did you... get in the bird?” Logan asked bluntly.
When Merlin spoke, Cai detected a note of forced patience; he had, after all, explained this already and Cai could only imagine his frustration at having to explain it yet again.
“As I have already said, I was able to project my spirit here, to Camelot, searching for a way to make contact with you, Cai.” Shadowstar let out a squawk and ruffled her feathers. “Fate, it seems, chose Shadowstar.”
“But I don’t get it; why a bird?” Logan pressed. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to find a human?”
“My spirit was to latch on to the nearest living thing; of course, a man would have suited my purposes far better, but Shadowstar was the nearest living thing to me at the time; I had no control as to my final destination. We collided mid-flight, it would appear.”
“So... let me see if I understand this,” Lancelot said, placing his hands, palms down, on the Table. “When Nimue...” His voice trailed away as he searched for the right words.
“Bound my body,” Merlin’s disembodied voice encouraged.
Lancelot nodded his head slowly in agreement and continued with more confidence. “So, when she… bound you… she took you...” He paused uncertainly before glancing at the bird. “Where exactly did she take you?”
“A cave…” Merlin explained. “It is but a few days’ ride from here.”
Cai couldn’t help the surge of relief that flooded him on hearing this news, the first piece of good news they’d had in days.
“I knew immediately where I was,” Merlin continued. “But, at first, I was powerless and could do nothing.” He paused and, when he next spoke, Cai heard the sadness in his voice. “Nimue, it seemed, had weakened me… weakened my powers…” There followed a silence that seemed to stretch on interminably; awkward glances were exchanged but no words were spoken. Merlin continued, “Gradually, my power returned to me but I knew I had to maintain the façade that I was still in her thrall.” Merlin’s voice was tinged with bitterness now, all trace of sadness gone. “So, I projected my thoughts…” he continued as Shadowstar’s gaze turned to Cai, the creature’s black eyes boring into him accusingly. “I had no idea you would ignore me, Cai.”
All eyes now turned to Cai, who stared at Shadowstar, before becoming aware of the knights’ accusing looks. Frowning, he shook his head. “He never…” he began to protest defensively. He glared at Shadowstar, pushing his chair away from the table and standing up. “I never ignored you!” he insisted, oblivious to the fact that he was arguing with a bird. “If you had said something, anything, to me, I would have listened but you didn’t…!”
“The dreams, Cai,” Merlin said simply.
Cai stared at him, floundering for a moment. “The dreams…?” he echoed. And, just a
s quickly, his brain kicked into gear and he frowned. “That was you?” he demanded.
“I knew it!” Logan exclaimed, slamming a hand on the table. As every eye turned to him, he blushed. “Sorry,” he mumbled, raising his head, slowly surveying each knight in turn.
“I sent you pictures… images of my prison…” Merlin continued.
Cai’s attention was drawn back to Shadowstar. “But… how was I supposed to know any of that?” he asked weakly; his defence now feeble and, even as he spoke, he realised the truth: he now knew to whom those voices belonged. “I think I heard you,” he said in realisation, his voice no more than a whisper.
The silence in the chamber intensified.
“You heard him?” Gawain asked. “You heard him and said nothing?”
Before he could say anything in his own defence, Kay leapt to his feet, towering over Gawain. “How was he supposed to know what he was seeing or hearing?” he demanded, his voice betraying his anger.
In one fluid movement Gawain was on his feet and the two knights were glaring at each other. “If he had only spoken to us…”
Cai let his gaze fall on Logan; the accusation in his eyes was clear: he agreed with Gawain.
Kay scoffed. “And what would we have said?” he demanded. “Would we have believed him? Would you have believed him?”
If Gawain had an answer, he never got the chance to voice it, as Shadowstar let out a deafening screech.
“Stop it,” Merlin’s voice commanded. “We have no time for petty squabbles amongst ourselves. As we speak, my time is short…”
“What do you mean?” Lancelot asked, leaning forward in his chair.
Shadowstar turned her head to look at Lancelot. “Nimue is aware of my actions… and I am weakening; she may try, again, to bind my body, my mind… If she does that, I can no longer help you.”
“So... what happens now?” Logan asked, voicing the question on everyone’s mind.
“I will lead you to my prison,” Merlin said simply. Shadowstar’s gaze darted around the room. “How quickly can you mobilise the men?”
Lancelot didn’t waste any time; this was what they had all been waiting for. “We shall send word to the men that we leave immediately,” he said, nodding to Bedivere who immediately left the room.
Cai gazed around the table. “Make sure we have enough provisions to last us,” he said, his voice sounding suddenly hollow in his own ears. He was stunned, his head spinning in the wake of so many revelations.
Around the table the men nodded before taking their leave, each focused on the task ahead. Cai couldn’t help noticing Kay and Gawain kept a wary distance from each other as they disappeared through the curtain.
Cai started to follow them but Logan intercepted him, his eyes burning into him. “You lied to me,” he stated accusingly.
Cai sighed wearily. “Logan, not now…”
“No, Cai; I asked you straight out and you told me you were fine.”
Cai pushed himself away from the table and made for the curtain but Logan blocked his path. “Are you really going to do this now?” he demanded.
Logan held his gaze. “If we’re going into battle, I need to know that we can trust each other.”
Cai met his gaze. “OK, you want to know why I didn’t tell you?” he snapped, his temper rising. “I didn’t tell you because I thought I was going crazy! I didn’t want anyone to know!” He dropped his gaze to the flagstones. “I was scared, OK?” he added, quietly. There was a moment of awkward silence before Cai could bring himself to look at Logan. “It had nothing to do with you and, just so you know, I do trust you.”
Logan held Cai’s gaze for a moment, his gaze softening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
Cai held up a hand, too preoccupied to placate Logan further. “It’s OK; let’s just concentrate on rescuing Merlin now.”
Logan nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He indicated the curtain. “I’d better go and get my stuff together...”
Cai nodded, watching him go. He sighed, allowing himself a small smile; at last, they had the means of finding Merlin and, from there, his mother. Finally, things were looking up.
Suddenly eager to be off, he left the chamber, crossed the Great Hall and threw the doors open… and almost knocked into Aelwen as she entered the Hall. Reaching out, he grabbed her arms to steady her. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “Are you OK?”
Aelwen smiled at him, making no attempt to move from his grasp. “I’m fine, Cai,” she reassured him. They looked at each other for a moment before both blushed and moved away, suddenly aware of their proximity to each other. “I was waiting for you…” she explained quickly. “I saw everyone leave and I thought… My father said you were attacked.”
Cai rolled his eyes. “I’m fine,” he insisted. “It was just Percival’s bird,” he added, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, recalling the memory.
Aelwen watched him carefully. “People are talking, Cai,” she said, clearly uncomfortable with whatever she had heard. “They’re saying things…”
Cai smiled. “Merlin’s spirit has entered Shadowstar,” he explained.
Aelwen stared at him and, after a moment, they both smiled. “My life was so simple before I met you, Cai Pendragon.”
Cai grinned. “My life was pretty simple before I came here,” he agreed.
Aelwen’s next words wiped the smile from both their faces. “I hear you are to leave now.”
Cai nodded, an inexplicable sadness gripping him as he realised this would be their last conversation for a while. “Yes; we have to rescue Merlin and then my mother…”
Aelwen nodded and forced a smile, unable to look at him. “And, my father… he will go with you?”
Cai nodded, watching her carefully; was it too much to assume she was disappointed he was leaving? No, he told himself. Her sadness wasn’t for him; she was obviously more upset that her father had to leave with him. It was then, Cai realised she probably hated him; hated him for taking her father away from her, just as her mother had been taken.
Bracing himself, Cai stepped away from her, giving her the distance she needed. “I must… I must prepare to leave,” he said curtly.
Aelwen nodded, still unable to look at him.
Taking this as a sign their conversation was over, he stepped around her and walked away, fighting every urge within him not to look back.
Cai felt like a spare part as he stood in the Lower Courtyard, watching his men say goodbye to their loved ones. Beside him, Rei tossed her head, eager to be off but, for once, Cai ignored her, focusing instead on his memories; images filled his head of the times he had said goodbye to his mother in this very courtyard and he felt his heart ache.
Turning away, he was surprised to see Aelwen standing in front of him; for a moment, all he could do was stare at her, dumbstruck. After their conversation, he hadn’t expected to see her again, not until he returned to Camelot, at least.
“Aelwen…” he began, finally finding his voice, but Aelwen shook her head, silencing him.
“No, Cai; let me speak.” She paused, gathering her thoughts. “I know, when we first met, I was…” Her voice faltered as she recalled her earlier behaviour towards him. “But I want you to know that I value our friendship… more than you will ever know…” She brought her eyes up to meet his and the depth of emotion in them surprised him. “I just… I wanted you to know that.” And before Cai could respond, Aelwen reached up and kissed his cheek. She turned and immediately made her way to her father, who, Cai couldn’t help noticing, had been watching them like a hawk.
42
Her rage was palpable; the air practically seethed with it.
Pacing the rocky plateau, Nimue ignored Merlin’s beseeching gaze, ignored the anger such a gaze instilled in her. It was getting harder for her to control her temper and she longed for the day when she could finally unleash her full power upon those that stood against her.
In particular, against the man, now, standing immobile befor
e her.
Anger burned through her as she looked upon her prisoner, her hatred intensifying with every second. His actions had, no doubt, been relayed to Morgan, which was, more than likely, why she could feel the sorceress pushing at her consciousness now, demanding her attention.
But she wouldn’t acquiesce, not this time.
This time, she would tolerate no interference from Morgan; she would finish this herself, as was her destiny. Let Mordred and Morgan fight for Camelot, she had no interest in that, but she would be the one to claim this victory.
She turned to Merlin, taking in his appearance; his head hung limply on his chest, his arms were immobile at his sides, bound as he was by her invisible fetters. To all intents and purposes, he looked weak, and he no doubt wanted her to believe that, but she knew better; his recent actions had proved otherwise, evidence that he still had some fight left in him.
Now she could enjoy the final battle.
Walking slowly towards him, Nimue fixed him with a cold stare her black, soulless eyes boring into him.
“You must think me foolish,” she muttered, her voice brittle.
Merlin slowly raised his head, meeting her stare head-on, his gaze strong and determined. “You were never foolish, Nimue,” he protested, his voice barely a whisper. “Far from it, in fact.”
Nimue smiled to herself, satisfied by his words; no, she wasn’t foolish and he would soon know that, in no uncertain terms.
Sweeping her arm out in front of her, her palm held out towards him, she watched as Merlin was hit with a bolt of cold, white fire, the icy white flames engulfing him. His body was forced back against the rock to which he was bound; his face contorted as he cried out in agony.
Nimue tilted her head, watching him curiously, wondering how far she could push him, before bringing him back from the brink.
Lowering her arm, the flames were extinguished just as quickly as they had appeared, leaving the cave in near darkness once again. Merlin slumped against the rock once more, his breathing laboured, his body drained.
