I look over at Sierra and Ava. “If I wanted to, I could get those two kicked out of school. Well, maybe not Ava. At least not now.”
“Why? What did she say to you? And why was she telling you to act like her boyfriend?”
I hear Ava’s annoying laugh and it pisses me off because I’m sure she’s laughing at Jade. I get up, taking my tray with me. “I can’t sit here anymore. Let’s go.”
When we get back to Jade’s room, she says, “Okay, I know you’re hiding something from me, Garret, so what is it?”
I sit in her chair, leaning back and tapping a pencil on the desk. “My dad, or more likely Katherine, thinks it’s time for me to get a new fake girlfriend. Apparently Courtney isn’t generating enough press for the Kensington name so she’s been replaced by Ava.”
“Why Ava?”
“She was on some stupid reality show last year so she gets photographed a lot at events.”
“When did you find this out?”
“Ava told me at the party last night. I didn’t believe her so I called my dad and he confirmed it. He said it was both his and Katherine’s idea but I know it was all Katherine.”
“Do Ava’s parents get a say in this?”
“They were all for it. In fact they want me to go out with Ava for real. For some reason they like me. I have no idea why. I barely know them.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this last night?”
“We had enough going on last night.” I see the expression on Jade’s face. She doesn’t believe me. “I swear I was going to tell you about this. I just wanted to wait until after you had your talk with Frank.”
“So you still didn’t tell me what she said to you just now.”
“Why do you have to keep talking about this? Just forget it.”
I don’t want to talk about Ava. I’m trying to keep Jade out of that side of my life. The fake side. My old life. The life I’m trying to escape. And I definitely don’t want Jade knowing my history with Ava and how I dated her for real when I was 15 and had sex with her.
Jade stands in front of me. “I didn’t like the way she was whispering in your ear and whatever she said seemed to really piss you off. Just tell me what she said.”
I set the pencil down. “You heard what she said. She wants me to act like a real boyfriend or she’ll start telling my dad about us again.”
“What does that mean? Take her out on a date?”
“Uh. No. She has plenty of guys who will take her out. And those guys can take care of her other needs as well because I’m sure as hell not doing it.”
“Wait. So she wants you to have sex with her?”
“It’s blackmail, Jade. Ava can get sex anywhere. She doesn’t need me for that.”
“Hold on. Let me get this straight. So if you sleep with her, then she won’t tell your dad about us. But if you did sleep with her, there would no longer be an us. So that logic makes no sense.”
I laugh because it’s true, but I hadn’t even thought about it that way. “Yeah, she’s not that smart. She’s just being a bitch because she doesn’t like the fact that I’m with you.”
“Doesn’t she know we’re not dating? Tell her we’re just friends.”
Jade still doesn’t get it. It’s like she has no idea how I feel about her. How could she not know this by now? Or maybe she does, but she chooses not to believe it. I guess I have to make it clearer.
I look directly at her beautiful green eyes. “Ava can see that you and I are more than friends.”
“What do you mean? It’s not like we’re making out in the hall.”
I reach out and hold both her hands. “Jade, aside from you, everyone on the planet can see that I’m completely crazy about this girl from Iowa who runs constantly and is addicted to potato chips.”
“Have I met this girl? Because she sounds really cool. I think we could hang out.”
She’s trying to joke about it because it makes her uncomfortable when I say this stuff. But I want to say it. I need to.
“I don’t know what you do to me but whatever it is, I guess it shows on my face because everyone knows how I feel about you. Not just Ava.”
“Is my face showing anything?” She turns it side to side.
I hold her face straight again, my hand on her chin. “No, because you’re not into me yet. I haven’t won you over. But I’m working on it.” I kiss her. A quick kiss, but on the lips this time.
Jade walks to the window and opens the drapes, flooding the room with light. “When does this fake relationship start?”
I sigh. “Next week there’s a charity event we have to go to but it’s during the day and it’s just for an hour, if that. They’ll get some photos of Ava and me together and then I’ll leave. But I’ll probably be forced to take her to that political fundraiser at my house in a few weeks.”
“That sounds fun.” She says it sarcastically.
“Yeah, I know.”
Jade lies down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “She’ll probably get you drunk and have her way with you.”
I lie next to Jade, my eyes on the ceiling like hers. “I don’t get drunk anymore.” I reach over and hold her hand. “And the only person getting her way with me is the one who’s lying next to me right now.”
I glance over and see her smiling.
I look up at the ceiling again. “Jade?”
“Garret?” She mimics me.
“Just in case I haven’t made myself clear, I like you. I like you a lot.”
“I like you, too.”
We both close our eyes and lie there quietly. And when I open my eyes again, I realize I’d been sleeping.
“I think we fell asleep.” I sit up and check the clock by the bed. I nudge Jade’s arm. “We just slept for an hour.”
“Really? It didn’t feel like an hour.” She crawls off the bed. “I need to call Frank. I can’t keep putting it off.”
I meet her by her desk. “Do you want me to stay here while you talk to him?”
“No, I need to do this alone.”
I wish she would stop insisting on doing everything alone. She needs to let someone in. Let someone be there for her. I would love that someone to be me, but she’s still not ready to accept my help.
“Okay. I’ll be right upstairs if you need me.” I put my arms out. “But first, practice time.”
“Ugh, not again.” She groans, her shoulders drooping.
I lift her arms up and around me, then I hug her but she barely holds on.
“I think you’re getting worse at this, Jade. Now tighten your arms up.”
She hugs me. And not a loose hug this time, but a real hug. A tight hug, like she doesn’t want to let go. She’s never done this before, so there’s no way I’m pulling away. She can hug me for as long as she needs to.
She stays in the hug for several minutes, which completely shocks me but I don’t want to embarrass her about it, so when she finally lets go, I act like it’s no big deal.
“Still needs work.” I kiss the top of her head. “Come upstairs when you’re done with your call.”
I go to my room and start pinning up the paper witches and ghosts I bought for the Halloween party I’m having for Jade tonight. It’s Saturday, which means it’s our night to be together and since she doesn’t like going out to parties, I’m hosting my own, right here in my room.
Yesterday I went to the store and loaded up on candy and got some cobwebs and paper cutouts and even some orange lights. I already put up the orange lights but I didn’t have them on last night so Jade didn’t notice I’d switched the blue out for the orange.
I take the cobwebs out of the sack and string them over the TV, the dresser, the desk, and along the walls and the windows. When I’m done, it looks kind of kid-like but I didn’t know how else to decorate my room for Halloween. I got some horror movies, too. A whole assortment because I wasn’t sure what she’d like.
It’s been 10 minutes and Jade still hasn’t come up here. I’m worried
about her after she hugged me like that, holding on tight and not letting go. It means she’s scared. Afraid of what she’ll find out from Frank.
I’m guessing if Frank knew Jade’s mom all those years ago, he knows way more than he’s ever told Jade. And if she finds out he’s been hiding stuff from her, she’ll be hurt. She sees Frank as her father but she’ll think she can no longer trust him if he’s been keeping secrets from her all these years.
After another few minutes, I decide to go check on her. I knock on her door but she doesn’t answer. And I can’t hear her talking to anyone. She must’ve left. The phone call didn’t go well and she ran. Like she always does.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
I find Jade on the track, just as I suspected. It’s freezing cold out with a biting wind. It feels like it could snow. And yet Jade’s wearing running pants and a long-sleeve t-shirt, which is not enough to stay warm in this weather. Before I came out here, I put on my coat and scarf and I’m still cold with this frigid wind.
I call out her name and she notices me on the side of the track.
She runs over to me. “I can’t talk right now. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast, okay?”
Her face is bright red from the cold and I can see her breath.
As she turns to run off I grab her arm. “Tomorrow? What are you talking about? I thought we were spending the day together.”
“Let go of me.” She tries to free her arm but I keep hold of it.
“Did you talk to Frank?”
“Yes. Now let go of me!” She yells it, her body now shivering.
“So it didn’t go well. Is that why you’re out here freezing your ass off?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I need to run. We’ll talk later.”
“You’re done running. You’re not even dressed right. It feels like winter out here. Come on.” I take her hand and start walking.
She yanks her hand back. “Dammit, Garret! Would you just leave me the fuck alone? I’m sick of this!”
She’s screaming at me but I remain completely calm. I know she’s not angry with me. She’s angry with whatever happened on that phone call.
“Sick of what?”
“I’m sick of you trying to rescue me all the time! I’m sick of you interfering! I’m sick of you thinking you know what’s best for me!”
I see it again. That look in Jade’s eyes. The sadness. The pain. The anger. But why does she push me away? I’m here for her. I’m right fucking here. Standing before her. Willing to do whatever she needs.
I want to help her so bad, but she won’t let me. She refuses to open up to me. To let me past that giant wall she keeps hiding behind. It’s so damn frustrating.
She’s breathing fast, shaking from the cold. “Just go! Leave me alone, Garret! I need to be alone!”
Why does she say that? I know she doesn’t want to be alone, so why does she say that? Does she really think I’ll just walk away? Just leave her out here alone and sad and freezing to death?
I study her face. She’s trying so hard to be strong. Trying to hide how much she’s hurting. But her eyes are desperate. Pleading. Begging for someone to help.
She waits for me to leave. It would be easier on her if I did. It would fit her expectations. She doesn’t believe anyone cares about her, not even me. She thinks if she yells at me, I’ll go away. It’s like she’s testing me or trying to prove to me, or herself, that she’s not worth it. That she’s not worth being friends with. That she’s not worth the time and effort it’ll take for me to keep getting to know the real Jade. She thinks I’ll turn and walk away. That I’ll just give up on her.
She couldn’t be more wrong. I have no intentions of giving up on her. Being with Jade won’t be easy but nothing good is ever easy. You have to work for the good stuff. And Jade is better than good, which means she’ll be a lot of work. Bring it on. I’m ready for it. I like hard work. And as I always say, I love a challenge, and I get the feeling Jade will always be a challenge.
She’s still standing there, a shaking, freezing, teary-eyed mess. Enough of this. I’m taking charge. She can scream and yell at me all she wants. She can hit me and kick me and try to fight me. I don’t care. I’m not leaving her. She can’t be alone right now. She says it’s what she wants, but it’s the absolute last thing in the world that she needs.
I take my coat off and place it around her shoulders and zip it up. She’s watching me, not saying a word. She continues to watch me as I wrap my scarf around her neck. I secure my arm firmly around her shoulder and start walking. She moves her feet, keeping up with my quick pace. I say nothing all the way back to the dorm.
I wait for her to unlock the door, then I follow her inside her room and unravel the scarf and take off the coat. She’s staring at me like she’s completely confused but I ignore her confusion and walk over to her dresser and take out some clothes. I force them into her hand. “You’re freezing. Go take a hot shower and get dressed. I’ll wait here.”
She leaves with the clothes in her hand and I check to make sure she goes to the bathroom. She does, so I go back in her room and wait for her.
In my continued attempt to figure out Jade, I’ve learned it’s best to take charge when she’s like this, especially when she’s harming herself, which is what she was doing freezing out on the track both last night and again today.
So I didn’t baby her just now. I wasn’t even that nice. I would prefer to take a gentler approach but that doesn’t work when she’s like this. Right now she needs a kick in the ass to keep her from destroying herself. And I have no problem doing that, even if it makes her mad at me.
She’s gone for a good 15 minutes and I’m starting to wonder if she took off. She better not have. If she did, I’ll definitely kick her ass and I won’t be as nice this time.
Just as I’m thinking this, she comes back to her room, her hair wet and her skin back to its normal color.
I’m sitting on her bed. “Feel better?”
She walks over to me. She still looks confused and a little shocked. “What’s going on here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you still here?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? Am I supposed to be somewhere else? Because last I checked my day was pretty much open.”
“But didn’t you hear me out there? Screaming at you?”
I shrug. “You didn’t mean it. You’re just pissed about something.”
“I told you to leave me alone.”
“You don’t want to be alone. You just say that.”
“How do you know? Maybe I really do want to be alone.” She’s trying so hard to put on her tough act, but the sad, quiet tone of her voice tells the real story.
I smile and pull her onto my lap. “Why would you want to be alone? Alone sucks.”
Her eyes search my face, trying to figure this out. Like she can’t believe I would care enough about her to stick around. It saddens me she would think that, but I have to remember where she’s coming from. She had a mother she couldn’t count on. One who abused her and didn’t take care of her and eventually left her.
“So do you want to talk about what happened now?” I ask her. “Or later?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, then later it is.” I hold her hand. “So here’s what I was thinking. I have to get at least an hour or two of swim practice in and I thought you could come with me. You don’t have to swim, but you could bring a book or music or whatever and just hang out. It’s nice and warm in there.”
Her lips creep up into a shy, sweet smile. “I guess I could do that.”
“And then after that is the Halloween party.”
Her smile drops into a worried frown. “I’m not going to a Halloween party. That’s like a regular party on steroids. And after the vodka incident last night, I can’t be around all that alcohol right now.”
“We’re not going anywhere. The party is upstairs. I’ve got my room all ready. We’re having
a horror movie marathon.”
“We are?” Her eyes light up and her smile returns. It’s even bigger than before. “But you hate horror movies.”
“I know. But what the hell? It’s Halloween, right?”
“So what else is going on at this party?” She’s talking fast and her voice is higher than normal. I didn’t think she’d get so excited about this.
“Well, I’ve loaded up on candy, of course, and your other favorite junk foods. I thought we’d order a pizza for some real food. That’s about it. It’s not that great but—”
“Are you kidding? It’s totally great! I can’t believe you did all this.” She hugs me, her sadness gone, at least for now.
“Wow. A hug. Thanks. I’m glad you’re excited about it.”
“But I thought you were going out tonight like everyone else.”
“It’s Saturday. That’s our night, remember?”
“But it’s Halloween. It’s a major party night. Isn’t Blake gonna get mad?”
“Blake’s already drunk off his ass. I talked to him earlier. He didn’t even know who he was talking to.”
“So when does this party begin?” Her voice is eager, like she wants the party to begin right now.
I smile at her enthusiasm. “It starts as soon as I get some swimming in. I’ll go grab my stuff upstairs and then we’ll go.”
As I leave her room, I look back at her. She’s still smiling.
And I did that. I made her happy with my stupid Halloween party. I thought it was lame and I was sure she’d make fun of me for doing it. Any other girl would. But not Jade. To her, it’s the best freaking thing in the world.
Just another reason why I love this girl.
We go to the pool and Jade reads while I swim, although I think I caught her checking me out a few times instead of reading. Actually, I think she’s been checking me out this whole time. I only saw her eyes on her book once or twice the entire two hours we’ve been here.
I swim to the edge of the pool where Jade’s sitting. “You bored yet?”
Garret Page 29
