by Laura Briggs
After a few minutes, there was silence. He had given up.
This was all childish and stupid, she reminded herself. This was the kind of emotional meltdown high school girls endured. So she couldn’t explain the pain gnawing at her heart as she lay there staring out the window at the snow-filled scene. Nothing had changed, really; except she would never look at Marc quite the same.
Christmas morning dawned with a pale grey light. She heard the sound of guests gathering downstairs for the morning pancake breakfast and Christmas concert hosted by the lodge. Now that the ice had melted a little, the ski lifts would be open again. The community would no doubt be hosting a series of Christmas sales and the hotel would spring to life again.
But not for her. She stuffed her garments into her bag, including the plum-colored gown. Carrying them downstairs, she rang the desk bell.
“Miss Bishop,” the desk clerk greeted her. His face fell slightly at the sight of her bags.
“Is there a problem?” he asked. “Your stay isn’t terminated until six o’ clock tonight, you know.”
She nodded. “I know. But I’m leaving early.” She laid her key on the desk. “I’ve had a change of plans.” She worked hard to keep any trace of tears out of her voice.
He took the key from the surface. “Should I inform anyone of your departure?” he asked. “If you need to leave a message or forwarding address—”
“No,” she interrupted. “No address. I don’t need to leave any correspondence, thanks.” She scribbled something on the card he placed before her, then grabbed her bags. She skirted the dining room as quickly as possible, to avoid any chance of running into Marc before she could escape.
She spent the rest of Christmas at home. When her phone rang, she ignored it. When an email arrived from Marc’s account, she deleted it unopened. Munching bowls of microwave popcorn and surfing through Christmas television specials, she did her best to push the thoughts and feelings from the last week into nonexistence.
The next time the phone rang, she answered it. When she heard Marc’s voice on the other end, she interrupted.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, understand?” she said. “I mean never. We’re just going to forget this happened. We were both being stupid and it has to stop. Understand?”
It took everything in her to avoid sobbing. Her voice was cool and calm, the silence afterwards a period in which she barely breathed.
“All right.” Marc’s voice rasped slightly in the receiver. “If that’s what you want. See you Monday.” She heard his phone click shut on the other end.
She closed her own and sat staring at the screen. Unable to help it as a few tears escaped and made their way down her cheeks.
It was going to be a very long Monday.
*****
Finding out who knew about her and Marc would be next to impossible. But finding the proof would be easier. That’s why Lisel found herself working well past her usual hour. She pretended to be engrossed in reviewing a stack of potential client files as, one by one, her coworkers departed for home.
If worst came to worst, she would hide in the utility closet until every one of them was gone.
She crouched behind the walls until the office lights were turned out. The sound of Downey’s voice drifted from the elevator as the door opened to admit the last worker leaving. As soon as the doors closed, Lisel sneaked from her hiding place.
There, in front of the office window panes, was the Christmas tree. Beneath it, the anonymous Secret Santa packages.
One of them undoubtedly contained the surprise mentioned in the note. She just wasn’t sure which one.
Reaching into her blazer pocket, she produced her tools for the job. Scissors, a letter open, a package of scotch tape. She laid them out like surgical instruments before reaching for the first package. Skipping her gift contribution—a Santa mug wrapped in silver paper—she chose a hideous blue sporting bright green fish in Santa hats.
It had to be Ed’s work, she decided. It was definitely his sense of humor. Carefully, she pried open one end and slid out the box. Popping the lid, she anticipated a giant glossy photo of her and Marc embracing beneath the mistletoe in the Elk Run Resort ballroom. Although imagining such a photo made her skin tingle for far different reasons.
Beneath the tissue paper was a troll doll dressed in a ballerina costume. Disappointed, she clapped the lid over the item and slid it back into the paper. One package down, twenty to go.
It was time-consuming work; one by one, she lifted the tape using the letter opener. One by one, she opened the usual gag gifts of the office Secret Santa: novelty Jell-o molds, books on pick-up lines, tacky holiday ornaments.
It was down to two packages. A large box in purple paper and a mini green sack stapled shut. She peeked through one edge of the sack and spotted a weird snarl of ribbons and feathers. A cat toy? A fishing lure? Either way, it wasn’t related to her secret.
Reaching for the letter opener, she pried back the tape on the last package. A large package slid from beneath the paper, a candy cane striped box surrounding a reindeer with a red nose.
As soon as the package was free, the nose lit up with a neon glow. A loud digital version of “Jingle Bell Rock” belted from the stuffed animal as it swayed in a dance. Panicking, she tried to stuff it back inside the paper, crumpling the folds around it.
What if someone heard? She froze, her heart thumping in her chest. There was a scuffling sound in the hallway. Probably the building’s janitor. Crawling slowly away from the tree, she peered in the direction of the office doors.
There was definitely somebody out there.
Scrambling to her feet, she gathered up her tools and stuffed them in her blazer. What about the unwrapped package? Panicking, she turned to hide in one of the cubicles—and ran into a man’s chest.
She let out a little shriek. His fingers pressed against her lips.
“Don’t panic.” Marc’s voice was barely above a whisper. “It’s me, remember?” She detected a note of sarcasm in his voice.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed.
“Probably the same thing you are. I‘ve been waiting in the break room for an hour.” The sound of footsteps in the hallway silenced them for a moment.
“We better hide,” Marc said, glancing in the direction of the door. “Come on.” He steered her towards the office supply closet.
“Wait, I left a package unwrapped,” said Lisel, pulling away from his hand. “Someone will see it if I leave it there.”
“Relax, I’ll fix it.” He pushed her inside and closed the door “Wait in here.” She heard him cross the carpet to the tree. Then came the sound of rustling paper and a plastic ribbon zipping across the box’s surface.
“Wait a minute—are you unwrapping gifts?”
Lisel sucked in her breath at the sound of Janine’s voice. Marco laughed.
“Not exactly. Last minute addition to the tree,” he said. “Guess I should get my shopping done early, huh?”
“I hope it’s something good.” She heard Janine laugh, followed by the sound of footsteps moving away from the tree.
Lisel slumped to the floor and buried her face in her lap. How did it come to this? She was sneaking around her own office, unwrapping gifts meant for other people. All because she was afraid somebody knew she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with her officeplace enemy last Christmas.
“Was it really so stupid?” she asked herself aloud. “I just don’t know any more.” She felt the first tear slide down her face.
“At least he’s not such a bad guy,” she whispered, wiping her cheek. “Come on, he just rescued me from this horrible evening. When has anybody done that in awhile.” She dug a tissue from her pocket.
She hesitated to push open the door and creep out of the silent office. In the dark, quiet space of the supply closet, she felt safer than she had in weeks. Leaning against the stacks of copier paper, she closed her eyes.
“Maybe I shouldn
’t have walked away last year,” she whispered. “Maybe there was something we could have done differently.” Her voice was breaking as she twisted the tissue in her fingers. “I just don’t know anymore.”
The knob on the supply closet rattled, then turned. Marc’s face peered around the edge.
“The coast is clear,” he whispered. “Janine took the elevator downstairs. And I stuffed your package back in its paper.” He stood there holding the door open, studying her in the dark.
“Thanks,” she answered, climbing to her feet. “I owe you one.”
“Don’t mention it,” he answered. His voice sounded odd. In the dim light, it was impossible to see his face, but she guessed he was annoyed. “Did you find anything?”
“Nothing,” she answered. “You were right. It was all somebody’s idea of a stupid joke. And I panicked and took the bait.” She daubed at her eyes, then stuffed the tissue into her pocket.
“Hey, it’s all right.” He reached over and brushed her hair aside from her face. “Maybe they just wanted to see how much you dislike me. In action, I mean.” He glanced towards the half-wrapped packages.
“I don’t dislike you,” she retorted. “I just ... get angry sometimes. We have different personalities, different work philosophies...”
“They say opposites attract,” he reminded her. “Maybe that was the goal of your blackmailer.” He tossed her the empty roll of tape, stowing the scissors and letter opener on her desk.
“Sorry I dragged you down here for nothing,” she said. “I know you probably had other plans for tonight. A date or something.”
“Maybe something,” he answered. “So, if your mystery note writer pulls a stunt on the day of Secret Santa, what’s your plan?” He turned to look at her as he closed her desk drawer.
“Nothing,” she answered. “Nothing at all.” Tossing the empty tape spool into the garbage, she turned and walked towards the office door.
*****
“All right, who’s ready to play Secret Santa!” Deb’s dark curls were topped with a green party hat as she knelt beside the tree. Ed, sporting a Santa hat, set aside a cup of party punch and fished the first package out from under the tree.
“First up is ... Harold!” At random, he chose a victim from the office party and shoved the package in their hands. A second later, a pile of paper was all that remained.
“Hey, nice.” Harold held up a grinning hippo paperweight. Everyone laughed, including Lisel, who was seated a little ways away in a metal folding chair.
She was balancing a glass of punch on her knee, avoiding the temptation to gaze in Marc’s direction. He was on the other side of the room with a group of artists from cover design. Once she thought she noticed him looking towards her, but she hid her face behind her glass before she could be sure.
“This one is for ... Lisel!” Ed deposited a large package on her lap. She remembered it from the other night. The dancing reindeer strikes again...
“Thanks, Santa,” she said, stripping off the paper as the stuffed figure moved in an exaggerated dance. She sneaked a glance in Marc’s direction and noticed him hiding a smile as his eyes met hers.
“Next up— Lindsay!” Ed tossed a gold and blue package to a petite blonde girl. She tore the paper off to reveal a CD of novelty Christmas songs. And so the process continued, as Lisel forced herself to look cheerful and make small talk with Deb about spring vacation plans and Janine about loaning her the skis.
She checked her watch halfway through the process. Seven-twenty. Soon everybody would be trickling away from the party to their big holiday plans. Except this year she didn’t have any.
“Where are you going?” Deb caught her just outside the break room as she shrugged on her coat.
“Just home a little early,” she answered. “I thought about trying a new recipe tomorrow, maybe picking up some ingredients on the way home.” She shrugged as she slipped her purse over her shoulder.
Deb narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t have something up this holiday?” she said. “I just don’t know about you anymore, girl.”
“You can stop worrying,” Lisel answered, giving her friend a hug. “I don’t have any surprises in the works, I promise.” She picked up the novelty reindeer and handed it to her.
“Set that on my desk for me, will you?” she asked. “I think I’ll leave it here until the novelty wears off a little.” She waved goodbye to Janine and Ed as she pushed the button for the elevator.
The parking lot was cold as she made her way to her car. Fishing the keys from her purse, she paused a few feet from the parking space, inhaling the icy air in a deep breath. The stars shone brightly in contrast to the dark skies, casting a cold light on the snow below.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she imagined the snowy grounds outside of Elk Run Resort. The moonlit lawn, the blanketed firs and cedars. The path to the woods that she and Marc explored together. She could almost hear the sound of snow crunching beneath their boots as the birds rustled overhead in green and white forest canopy.
Instead, she heard the tinny, off-key notes of a digital music track. Jingle Bell Rock.
Opening her eyes, she turned to see a figure approaching in the dark. Marc appeared, carrying the stuffed reindeer, its song echoing through the parking lot.
“I thought you shouldn’t go without a little reminder of our adventure,” he said. “It’s kind of cute. Maybe a little tacky, but ...”
“But you bought him,” she answered. She pulled the stuffed figure away from him and set it on her trunk. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to toss it in the garbage. It wasn’t the surprise I was expecting under the tree last night.”
“I know.” His smile vanished for a moment. “I was the one who put the note there, Lisel.”
A look of astonishment crossed her face. “You?” she echoed. “But why? Why would you do that?”
“Because I thought when the rumor started and you panicked that maybe this was my chance,” he answered. “I mean, if everyone knew, I figured you would be willing to talk about it again. Then maybe I could explain.”
“Talk about what?” she held up her hands. “How miserable we would have made each other if we had actually stayed a couple?”
“You told me I wasn’t willing to admit I was wrong,” he said. “And it wasn’t that. I just didn’t want us to gloss over the past for the sake of some perfect idea of romance.”
She turned towards her car. “I know. That’s why we called it off when we did.” She unlocked the door and reached for the handle.
He turned her to face him. “No. That’s when you called it off,” he reminded her. He took a deep breath. “I didn’t want fake apologies from you. I wanted honesty, something real.” His fingers brushed against her face.
“The truth is,” he said, “I was kind of in love with you. Still am, as a matter of fact.”
She shook her head. “You can’t be,” she whispered. “We’re nothing alike, we can’t work together for more than five minutes without fighting—”
“Opposites attract,” he whispered back. “Besides, you know we’re a lot alike deep down inside. Both wanting to be right, both wanting to have the big idea on the table. Both wanting to fall in love last Christmas. When I heard you in the closet the other night—”
“You heard me?” Her jaw dropped in horror. “You were eavesdropping on me?”
“You were talking to yourself in a closet,” he argued. “By the time I realized what you were saying, it was too late. All I was trying to do that night was stop you from tearing open every package in the house because of my stupid plan.”
She lowered her lashes, catching the tears threatening to spill down her face. “I should have known it was the kind of childish stunt you would pull.” She raked her fingers through her hair, frustrated. “You were no different after we came back from that holiday break, Marc. The same jerk you’d always been.”
He laughed. “Yeah, ‘cause you wouldn’t talk to me about anythin
g but work and wouldn’t answer my phone calls.” He leaned closer, so his face was a breath away from hers.
“I thought you’d change your mind about us,” he said, softly. “Don’t deny that you haven’t thought about it, Lisel. I know you read my personal calendar. I see the look on your face when I mention that I had a nice evening.” He searched her eyes for confirmation as she glanced away.
“Maybe I was a little jealous,” she answered. “Maybe I was a little controlling now and then. But you’re so unpredictable...” She kicked a pile of snow in frustration, her fingers reaching up to wipe away the tears escaping from her eyes.
“So let’s be unpredictable together, Lisel.” His tone was soft, teasing. “Let’s stop pretending we didn’t care what happened last Christmas and have what we’ve wanted all these months.”
Her fingers were intertwined with his now, an impulsive gesture she couldn’t resist. Her other hand touched the lapel of his coat, then traced the mini snowmen decorating his tie.
“And what would that be?” she asked.
She waited for him to roll his eyes before she cupped his face with both her hands. With a mischievous smile, she reached up and pressed her mouth against his. His arms wound around her, pulling her tightly against him.
She drew back after a moment. “So what do you say to spending Christmas Eve together—again?” she asked. “This time with no arguments.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure we can’t avoid that,” he answered, “but I am sure I can avoid breaking up with you again.” He wrapped his hand tightly around her fingers. The sound of music drifted from inside the office building as someone opened an upstairs window momentarily.
“Good idea,” Marc said. He reached over and pushed the button on the reindeer, whose digital song sprang to life. “Care to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand.
She rolled her eyes. “To that?” she said.
“Hey, like you said, I’m unpredictable,” he answered. “So let’s make that work for our first date.” His hand was still held out, his lips parted in a wide grin.
