ATF… FBI… it didn’t fucking matter which alphabet agency was responsible. It was the fact that I hadn’t seen the goddamn signs.
Wolverine met my eyes and shook his head. “It’s worthless outside of the phone, but this don’t sit right with me. And the shit earlier with the Outlaws. You find it odd that there weren’t more of them there? This was the clubhouse they planted in our motherfuckin’ territory and they didn’t even try to defend it.”
That was what he’d been lost in thought over and once he mentioned it, I realized that I’d gotten so focused on winning that I hadn’t seen the victories that were being handed to me.
“If Tony’s a fuckin’ fed, then Nails is too. How much have they seen? What do they have on us?”
Comedian ran a finger under his nose. “More than enough to ensure we get a nice reservation booked at the iron B&B down south for the next fifty years to life.”
“He’s right,” Wolverine said. “Nails has been buying up weapons left and right. We should’ve seen it before now.”
“Fuck!” I slammed my fist down on the arm of the chair and Dagger rolled his chair away from me, holding the tattoo gun up in his hands like the cops had just stormed the place. Having realized we were done for the day, he packed up his shit and disappeared back out into the club.
I had no idea how much evidence they had against the club. If I thought getting arrested while my wife was in labor was my low point, I couldn’t imagine being carted off to federal prison for the rest of my natural life.
Bedtime stories read behind plexiglass partitions…
My girls watching me age in an orange jumpsuit…
Never feeling Celia’s body under mine again…
It was a goddamn nightmare.
Wolverine picked at the leather on the couch. “The Outlaws aren’t going to back down, Grey. They’re trying to make us think we’re winning. They’ll bide their time until we let our guard down and then drop the hammer. Game over.”
“He’s right,” Comedian added. “This ain’t winnin’. It’s a trap.”
Celia had warned me, hadn’t she?
I’d just been too fuckin’ proud to listen. A few of the clubs had gone running for the hills once they suffered a few losses and realized we didn’t back down from a fight.
I thought we’d wait them all out and take care of any stragglers once the smoke cleared. I hadn’t intended to start a war, but I sure as fuck planned on ending it.
“What do we do?”
Wolverine’s eyes widened as he looked up from where he was picking a hole in the arm of the couch. “You askin’ me?”
I nodded. “Yeah, old man, I am. Been doing shit my way for the last five years and as you can see, it ain’t working out real well at the moment. I’m open to suggestions.”
He and Comedian exchanged a look and nodded grimly.
“What?” I snapped. “You two got something you wanna share with the rest of the class?”
Wolverine sighed. “Grey, I think it’s time to look at exit strategies.”
“Exit strategies? Tucking our tails between our legs and running? That don’t sound like a plan, old man.”
I should’ve known he wouldn’t have had anything useful to add to the discussion. He’d forgotten what it was like to run this club.
He leaned forward, pointing his finger in my direction. “Now, listen to me for a goddamn minute. What’d I tell you when you were a kid? Hmmm? You remember that far back?”
I shrugged. “You said a lot of shit, Wolverine. How am I supposed to know?”
“I told you that you never announce you’re bringing a war. Well, you screwed the pooch on that one, didn’t ya? Way I see it, we got two options. We keep fighting until the feds close in on us, or we let everyone think they’ve won. What do these motherfuckers want more than anything, Comedian?”
He grinned. “Grey’s head on a spike?”
“Something like that. We need something to shift the focus off our club and onto the Outlaws. So, we give them what they want.”
I held up my hand. “Wait a fuckin’ minute. Are you suggesting killing me as an option to winning the war?”
This was the worst fucking idea he’d ever had.
“Calm your nuts, Grey,” Wolverine calmly replied. “Ain’t suggesting that we send you to the Reaper, although there are days it sure sounds nice. No, we need to solve two problems right now. Get the Outlaws and the feds off our asses.
“We set the Outlaws up for murder and the feds start looking at them. Now, I think we caught this early. If Nails is just now bringing in reinforcements, it means he don’t have enough to take us down on his own.”
There was a knock at the door and Tony walked in, carrying drinks like a goddamn waitress. “Here we are. Bottle of Jack for Comedian and top-shelf tequila for Grey.”
Wolverine tilted his chin up and growled, “Get the fuck out.”
Tony slinked out of the room and shut the door behind him. He waited a minute before continuing. “They took your DNA when you got arrested couple years ago, yeah?”
“Yeah, said it was standard procedure. Why?”
He grinned. “Well, that’s your saving grace. You’re gonna be donating some blood to save lives—how’s that sound?”
I didn’t have the faintest idea what was going on but nodded anyway.
“Good. I’ll bring Lucy in to start taking your blood every day. Once we get enough, we call the Outlaws in for a ceasefire agreement—”
“Fuck no,” I interjected. “Why don’t we cap the feds now and then go after the Outlaws?”
“We send the feds to meet the Reaper now and we’ll be sitting behind bars before ever getting near the Outlaws. At that point, you can kiss your family goodbye because they won’t hesitate to take them out.” Comedian had gone back to staring at the ceiling, but his voice was laced with anger.
He had a point and as much as I wanted to be the brains behind this operation, it was clear that I was out of my element. “Go on,” I directed them. “Tell me what you need from me.”
Wolverine’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “We call in the Outlaws to meet, somewhere neutral. We sit down at the table and agree to their terms to end the war. Let it go a few days and then invite them out to the clubhouse. Call in the Nomads to ambush and take out our feds at the same time.
“Police come in and find bodies and your blood… enough that it becomes obvious you didn’t walk out of there on your own. They search for a body until losing interest and shifting their focus to the real culprit—the Outlaws. Meanwhile, we relocate down south, giving the illusion that the club’s folding, and wait for the dust to settle.”
I nodded, still not understanding how it was going to work. “When do we move Celia and the girls?”
Comedian chewed on the inside of his cheek with a shake of his head. “That’s the bitch of it, Grey. Ain’t no way we can move them without it raising suspicion. They stay here and we keep a guy on them at all times. Once it’s safe, you can come back.”
I didn’t like the fucking plan to begin with, and I sure as shit didn’t like anything that took me away from my girls, no matter how temporary it was.
“You two just have it all figured out, don’t ya? How long’s this one been kicking around?”
Wolverine looked up at me. “Once you got arrested, I knew we weren’t calling the shots anymore. I started thinking of ways to get us out of this mess as bloodlessly as possible.”
I looked between the two of them. “What’s the timeline? How long do I have?”
Comedian sat up and stretched. “Two weeks.”
“You’ll leave money for the girls and we’ll try to find a way for you to come back and see them without being detected. Once we retake the department and neutralize the Outlaws, you can resurrect yourself.”
I knew Wolverine meant well, but he was asking me to do the impossible all because I hadn’t been willing to kill a few strippers five years ago.
There
was no other way. We had to make them think they’d won in the worst way possible.
How in the fuck was I supposed to tell Celia that faking my own death would save everyone?
* * *
“Dakota Mae, no ma’am. We do not paint the table with our mashed potatoes.” Dakota looked up at Celia with a sly grin, her blonde hair slipping out of the ponytail on top of her head. The minute Celia looked away; she happily went back to spooning her food onto the table.
I’d gotten my wish. My little girl looked just like me with her blonde hair and blue eyes. Unfortunately, she acted just like me too.
I gathered the stray pieces of hair and fixed her ponytail. “Kota-Bear, what’d your mama just say?”
She bared her little teeth in a smile. “Saw-ee, Dahdee. Baby saw-ee.”
Celia ran the back of her hand across her forehead with a sigh as she sank down onto her chair, streaking her skin with potatoes.
Dakota immediately began giggling. “Mommy, mess!”
Kate’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth with a napkin to disguise her laughter.
When I chuckled, Celia turned to me. “What? What’s so funny? Why’s everyone laughing?”
“You got something just there, darlin’.” I gestured with my hand and she rubbed at her head, sending potato bits into her hair. “Yep, you’re good.”
Kate picked at her chicken. “Did you know that Spider-Man’s web dissolves in an hour?”
I nodded. “I did know that. Did you know that Spider-Man’s web is faster than a bullet? I read one issue where he caught a gun in his web just as the trigger was pulled.”
“He was the first superhero kid that wasn’t a sidekick,” she said through a mouthful of green beans. “That’s why he’s the best.”
“For!” Dakota held her spoon high above her head like a certain superhero before flinging it at Kate’s head with a maniacal giggle.
The two began squabbling back and forth while Celia played referee before giving me the side eye. “A little help please?”
“Peas, Dahdee,” Dakota seconded.
In forty-eight hours, everything was going to change, and I still hadn’t had the balls to tell my wife what was going on. At first it was because I assumed we’d come up with a better plan, preferably one that didn’t involve me dying.
I’d met with the Outlaws and handed over the majority of our territory just so they’d agree to the terms of the ceasefire, but it hadn’t left me with a good feeling. I was losing and that was something I didn’t do well with.
“Jamie?” Celia snapped her fingers. “Are you still here?”
“Don’t snap your fingers at me, Celia. I look like a trained dog to you?” I growled, all while knowing my shitty attitude had nothing to do with her.
The people that deserved my anger and rage were protected for the moment by a piece of paper I’d willingly signed, leaving my wife to take my venom.
Judging by the jut of her chin, it hadn’t been my best plan. “Don’t speak to me like that, Jamie Quinn.”
I’d just opened my mouth to apologize when she added, “I’m not a club girl or one of your biker friends.”
I let my fork fall to the plate and cocked my head to the side. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
This was a worthless fight and I knew it.
Didn’t mean I wasn’t salivating over the thought of taking my anger out somewhere.
Celia dropped her napkin onto the table and stood up. “I’m not doing this with you. I didn’t choose this life and I won’t let you talk—”
“You didn’t choose this life?” I roared. “Well, guess what, sweetheart? You might just get your wish and be done with all of it sooner than you think!”
I instantly realized I’d gone too far.
Dakota’s lip quivered and tears began rolling down her chubby cheeks. Kate stayed silent, dabbing at her hair and face with the napkin, looking anywhere but at me. I didn’t miss the way her hands shook with fear though.
My girls were scared of me.
“What? What are you saying?” The fight was gone from her eyes and as I looked at her, I saw the exhaustion and fear she’d been working hard to hide from me. “You—you want a divorce?” Her voice cracked.
I ran a hand over my face and shook my head. “Need to tell you somethin’.”
She leaned back against the cabinets and whispered, “Just tell me.”
“Not here.” I nodded toward the bedroom.
“Kate, finish your dinner and then run a bath, okay? Dakota, Mama will be right back.”
“Wight back,” she repeated tearfully with a nod and I hated myself a little more.
When we made it to the bedroom, she spun around to face me, crossing her arms over her chest. “You cheated.”
It wasn’t a question.
“You think I’d disrespect you like that?”
Celia shook her head and stared down at the carpet. “I don’t know anymore, Jamie. Something happened—I can feel it. You’re different.”
She mashed her lips together briefly. “It’s like you’re not even here anymore and your comment tonight just confirmed that.”
I led her back to bed and dropped to my knees at her feet. “Ain’t ever cheated on you. Fuck, I couldn’t even look at another woman once you came along. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I ran my knuckles along my jaw and looked down. “But there is shit going on within the club that you need to know about. I ended the war with the Outlaws.”
Celia gripped my hand in both of hers. “That’s good, right?”
“Not exactly. I had to hand over the bulk of our territory to them and,” I paused, trying to decide the best way to tell her. “Wolverine and Comedian—well, I went along with it because it was the best plan. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but ultimately, it was my call—”
“Just spit it out, Jamie. Put me out of my misery, please.”
“Fuck, I’m gonna fake my death.” There. It was out in the open. No more secrets.
She smiled and shook her head. “Okay, Bobby Ewing. Nice try.”
“Who the fuck is Bobby Ewing?”
“Dallas? The writers killed him off only to bring him back later. Will you stop with the jokes and tell me what’s really going on? I feel like I’m on the verge of a heart attack.”
I sighed, “It’s real, princess. We’re gonna lure the Outlaws out to the clubhouse and send ‘em to the Reaper. Lucy’s been taking blood from me and we’re gonna dump it in the clubhouse… make it look like I didn’t make it.” When her face paled, I added, “It’s just temporary. We’ll head north and wait the investigation out and then take back what’s ours.”
“Where will we go?”
I gnawed at my lower lip. “Well, Comedian and Wolverine felt that it’d look suspicious if I moved you three out. You’ll stay here—”
“Oh, Wolverine and Comedian thought?” She shoved me away and stood up. “Good. As long as the two of them are running the club, then things will be just great.”
I made the mistake of taking Celia’s sarcasm as truth and tried approaching her. With her hand on my chest, she backed me up against the wall. “We’re your family,” she seethed. “You don’t let other people decide what happens with us. How could you agree to this?”
“Because it’s the best thing, Celia. Look around you. You like knowing we’re at war with every-fuckin-body in the region?”
She shook her head. “Jamie, this is a bad plan. What about Lucy and Molly? The club’s fine with leaving them here?”
“They’ll be moving out when the club goes. You have to stay though. Otherwise, the entire thing falls apart. I’ll have Hawk watching you at all times. You know him. You know he’ll never let anything happen.”
Her hand fell away, and she began pacing. “It’s your job to keep us safe. Not Hawk’s. Or Wolverine’s. Or Comedian’s. What am I supposed to tell the girls?”
I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Tell them I di
ed. It’s better if they don’t know the truth. That way, if the cops start poking around, they won’t have to lie.”
“You said this was temporary though. What happens when you miraculously come back? Do you know what that’ll do to them?”
“I’m sure they’ll just be happy to have their daddy back,” I growled, quickly losing what little control I had over my anger.
“No. You can’t mess with their emotions like this. It’s manipulative and, and wrong on so many levels. If you leave, Jamie, then you leave for good.”
I crossed the room and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. “You tellin’ me that I’m not welcome in my own fuckin’ house?”
Her eyes filled with tears, but she tilted her chin up at me with a glare. “You go through with this and you won’t have a family to come home to.”
“Is that a threat, Celia?” I tightened my grip. She was supposed to have seen the benefits of the plan. I’d needed her to understand why I was doing it.
“The girls deserve better than a father who abandons them,” she said softly. “Now, let me go.”
I released my hold and she left, slamming the bedroom door shut behind her.
“Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?” I heard Kate ask softly and I brought my fist up to my mouth with a tight throat.
Since moving Mikey down south, I hadn’t been able to see him as often. Slim had assured me that things were good, and that Mikey and David had become close, but it wasn’t the same.
Was I really considering doing the exact same thing to my girls?
Wolverine had said that he could work it to where I could come back every four months or so, but was it enough? I’d always been the soldier, never the brains behind the operations, but damn did I fight to find a better solution as Celia got the girls to bed.
I worked through half a pack of cigarettes, trying to come up with a scenario where I got to stay with my family and everyone else fucked off.
By the time Celia returned and padded across the carpet to where I sat with a full ashtray, I’d come up with exactly zero ideas. Short of fleeing the country and abandoning the club, I was fucked.
“When does this happen?”
“In two nights.” She sucked in a sharp breath and I reached for her. “I don’t wanna spend it fighting.”
Deserter Page 29
