All that mattered in his life was right here.
One arm shoved against the bed to keep from pushing his full weight on her, he collapsed on top of her, his breath ragged.
Her arms were around him, holding him. There was nowhere in the world he wanted to be more than where he was. In her arms and in her heart.
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CHAPTER 9
Mayree wondered what time it was, the room was beginning to lighten with the first rays of morning sun.
Something had woken her, an unfamiliar sound, a sound from outside, she laid quietly listening for it again. She could hear Quinn's deep breathing, as he lay sleeping beside her.
His arm rested over his head, and Mayree traced the old needle mark scars on his inner forearm softly with her fingertip. Quinn had done so many things to hurt himself. It was hard to understand why he was so hell bent on making himself miserable.
They'd had a beautiful night together last night.
Dinner in Weston, then Quinn had taken her down to the river to see the ducks. The night in town ended with a quick stop at the drug store to buy a home pregnancy test. The test confirmed what she had already been fairly certain of, she was pregnant. There was no doubt in her mind she wanted this baby more than anything. She wasn't sure exactly how Quinn felt about it though.
Quinn said he was happy, but he was a hard man to read. Beneath any happiness he ever seemed to show something lurked underneath. It wasn't just sorrow, it was something more, something deeper.
For the first time there was no chain around her ankle this morning.
She heard the sound outside again, a long mournful cry that sent shivers up her spine. Slipping quietly out from under the covers she pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and t-shirt.
Pausing before she left the room she looked at Quinn in the dim light that filtered in from the window. She 157
loved him, more than she ever thought it was possible to love anyone.
She walked up the hall and went into the kitchen. The metal doorknob was cold against her hand, she heard the sound again. She opened the door slowly. It creaked open and she stood in the doorway, listening, as the cold morning air touched her face. She didn't hear anything now.
She didn't know Quinn was behind her behind her until she felt him roughly grab her shoulder. "Are you leaving me Mayree?" he said, his expression a strange blend of anger and sadness. He was trembling and every muscle in his body seemed tense.
"No, Quinn, I heard something outside," she told him.
Would it always be so maddeningly impossible to convince him she wanted to stay here? She actually thought things would be different now.
"The first fucking night I leave you loose, you try to sneak out," he snapped.
"I wasn't trying to sneak out! There's something outside making noise. I just wanted to look outside."
"Stop it, Mayree," he said, his voice harsh. "Stop lying to me." He grabbed her and jerked her toward him. She could feel his entire body shaking. "You were going to try and leave me."
"I wasn't," she protested, tears of frustration forming in her eyes. "I'm yours, Quinn. I belong with you, I belong to you. I love you."
He started to speak, but whatever was outside cried out again, sounding much louder through the screen since the wooden door was open.
"What the hell is that?" Quinn said.
"I told you I heard something outside, that's why I opened the door in the first place!" She heard Quinn sigh.
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"I'm sorry. I don't know what the matter is with me,"
he said.
She sat down at the table and began putting her socks and shoes on. "I'd like to go out and see what that sound is." She looked at Quinn, "Is that all right, since I need to have your permission first? I mean is this how things are going to be? You won't even trust me enough to let me go outside? "
"I'm sorry," he said, sounding sincere. "I was sleeping, I woke up and you were gone. I'm sorry. Let me get dressed and I'll go out with you." He turned and went up the hall as Mayree finished tying her shoe.
She stood at the door, listening to the intermittent cries that shattered the otherwise quiet November morning.
Quinn came back into the kitchen still buttoning his flannel shirt. "I've never heard anything like that before,"
he said, his relaxed, calm voice so different than the harsh one he had spoken to her with only a few minutes earlier.
"Neither have I," she said, trying to forget that even though he hadn't put that chain on her last night he obviously still didn't trust her.
The air outside was bracing, the frosty ground crackled beneath her feet. Whatever the sound was it was coming from somewhere down near the pond. They walked in silence through the field.
The cries stopped, but they continued walking toward the pond. Standing at the water's edge Mayree heard the sound again, and finally saw the source. A Canadian goose stood forlornly beneath the large weeping willow tree. Only a few feet away lay another goose. It was larger than the one that stood crying. It was dead. The mourning goose circled its mate's body as if it would magically rise up from the frozen ground. Mayree watched it sadly.
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From the corner of her eye she saw Quinn's face. The color had drained away, his jaw trembled, and then he sat. He just sat on the ground as if his legs could no longer support his own weight. He held his head in his large hands and began sobbing. She watched him, stunned for a moment. He looked like a little boy as he cried. The sight broke her heart.
"My brother is buried right there," he sobbed, pointing to where the goose lay dead.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mayree. I didn't mean to bring you into this. Into my life. You deserve so much better than me, than this shitty life. Now you're going to be stuck with a baby that has me for a father."
Mayree sat beside him and touched his shoulder softly.
"It's not a shitty life. I love my life with you. I just wish you would trust me. I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much."
"I'm afraid," Quinn admitted.
It was hard to imagine this huge man being afraid of anything.
"Afraid of what?"
"How am I going to do this? Take care of you, take care of a baby? Everything I touch turns to shit. There is nothing good inside me, there never has been. How can someone as bad inside as me be a husband, or a father?"
His voice trailed off, incoherent for a time, until he cried,
"I didn't mean to kill it."
"You didn't mean to kill what?"
"The fucking goose!"
Confused, Mayree looked over at the bird on the ground nearby, as she softly stroked Quinn's hair. "You didn't do this Quinn," she said.
"Not now, I don't mean now. I was ten, maybe twelve.
All I wanted to do was go fishing here. The fucking goose chased me, and then it bit me. I was just a little kid, you 160
know? It scared me. I got a stick, and I chased it, except it wouldn't back down, it kept fighting me, it kept coming after me. Hissing. God that fucking hissing! I couldn't stand it! I hit it with the stick. I didn't mean to kill it! It laid there and didn't get up. I couldn't move. I stood there and just kept looking at it laying there. Everything was so quiet. After about five or ten minutes these babies came out of the weeds. They were looking for their mama." Quinn drew his breath in and then sobbed uncontrollably. "They couldn't find her, because I had killed her."
He choked down his sobs and took a breath. "My Dad found me hiding in the cattails an hour later. He knew what I'd done. He whipped me good, and told me if Mom found out she would never forgive me. My mother was a proud, beautiful woman of full Cherokee blood. She was also sick and dying. Her cancer had spread, and she wouldn't get treatment because she was pregnant with Jack. She lived only to have Jack, and she died to have Jack. I was so afraid she would find out what I'd done. I was so afraid she would find out what a horrible boy I was."
Quinn's eyes met hers, full of tears and a lifetime of regr
ets. "I was always bad. Always! I know you know what a horrible, evil person I am inside. You're so good, it's only a matter of time before you leave me."
Mayree felt her own tears chilling on her face. "I won't ever leave you. You aren't bad, Quinn. Bad people don't care. Evil people don't have regrets." She touched his chest. "I know you don't like to show it, but you have a good heart, Quinn. A beautiful heart that will make you the best father in the world."
"Tell me you forgive me, Mayree. Please? For all I've done to you, all I've done bad in my whole life. Please tell me you forgive me."
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She wiped the tears from his face. "I forgive you, Quinn."
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CHAPTER 10
Mayree was dreaming. She was in the trunk of the green car again. She could feel it vibrating beneath her, but this time she wasn't afraid, she knew the man driving it wasn't going to hurt her. He was taking her away from her miserable life, from the world where no one noticed her.
He loved her, the most handsome man she had ever known and he loved her.
The car rumbled loudly, she could hear it. Her eyes snapped open, she really could hear it. There was no need to look out the window. She would forever remember the sound of that car.
Randy was back. She felt an eerie apprehension, although she didn't really understand why. She knew Quinn and Randy had issues, it seemed as though they all revolved around Donna.
The door in the kitchen creaked open, and she heard hushed voices, then drunken giggling and a faint feminine voice whispering. Randy wasn't alone.
Quinn rolled over. "Sounds like my brother's back," he said, not bothering to hide the displeasure in his voice.
"Quinn?" Randy yelled down the hall. "Get out of bed.
Come have a drink with me."
Quinn reluctantly sat up and clicked on the lamp beside the bed. "Wait a minute I have to get dressed," he barked.
Mayree watched him dress. He smiled at her. "Get dressed and come out in the living room. I want to tell Randy about the baby. I guess since he's back we can invite him to come when we get married."
Mayree sat up and stretched. "Okay, I'll be right out."
Quinn kissed her and went out of the doorway.
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She went over to the dresser with the big mirror and began brushing her hair. The girl in the mirror stared back at her. Long dark hair, wide blue eyes ... she was a beautiful woman.
It had taken being here with him to realize she already was the person she always wanted to be, that she was a person who mattered. She was desired, she was beautiful. Quinn had done something far more than make her love him, he had taught her to love herself.
Mayree turned and examined her profile in the mirror.
Her hand lingered on the swell of her belly, heavy and round with the baby growing inside of her.
"What the fuck is she doing here?" Quinn's booming voice broke the silence of the early April night.
"I ran into her at the bar. She wanted to come and see you," Mayree heard Randy reply.
The feminine voice spoke then, "I've missed you, Quinn. You look even better than you did last time I saw you."
Mayree hurriedly pulled on one of Quinn's t-shirts and dug through her drawer full of jeans, trying to find a pair that would fit. She didn't want to wear those sloppy old sweat pants. Especially not now. Who was this woman out there in the living room?
Unfortunately, nothing in the drawer would
accommodate her growing belly. She slammed the drawer closed in disgust.
"Listen," she heard Quinn say. "I already told you, over and over, that me and you just isn't happening."
"I knew you needed time to get over losing my sister. I understand, but it's been over a year."
Mayree pulled on a pair of gray fleece sweatpants, and suddenly felt sick. The woman in the living room with Quinn and Randy was Donna's sister.
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Her mind raced, at first filled with thoughts of Quinn leaving her for this woman.
She thought about the day out by the pond. He had cried to her, he had begged her to forgive him. Quinn wasn't going to leave her. Not for anyone. Certainly not for a woman who was so tacky she would even consider trying to put the moves on her dead sister's boyfriend.
What kind of horrible person does something like that?
"It has nothing to do with your sister," Quinn said.
"Randy, you know I'm with Mayree, and I can't even believe you'd bring her here."
"Mayree? She's still here?" Randy said incredulously.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know, Quinn."
"She's pregnant. You're going to be an uncle, Randy."
"No shit? Randy said. "Wow. I don't know what to say."
"Who's Mayree?" the woman's voice asked angrily.
Randy laughed. "She's Quinn's girlfriend, but it's a long story. Sorry I got you up so late Quinn."
"It's not late, it's early," Quinn said. "I have to leave for work in about an hour."
The floor was cold beneath Mayree's feet as she walked nervously down the hall. She blinked her eyes in stunned disbelief as she saw the woman who was sitting on the couch beside Randy. It was the girl from the hospital ... Penny! Horrible, mean, pretty Penny.
Quinn sat down in the recliner and patted his leg.
"Come sit down, Mayree."
Her legs were trembling as she sat down on Quinn's leg. His hand rested protectively over her belly.
Mayree looked at Randy as he smiled, she tried to look anywhere except at Penny. She felt her staring.
" This is your girlfriend?" Penny said to Quinn.
"Actually she is going to be my wife." Mayree could see his reply stung Penny.
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"I remember you," Penny said sharply. "You used to work at the hospital."
Mayree met the girl's stare. "Yeah, I'm the one who shouldn't be allowed on the elevator because there's a weight limit."
Penny laughed.
"It wasn't funny," Mayree replied coldly.
Penny's eyes narrowed. "Well it's true." She looked over Mayree's shoulder and glared at Quinn. "I've always known you weren't smart, Quinn Ross, and it never mattered to me because you were so good looking. But I never imagined you were so fucking stupid."
Mayree felt Quinn tense against her back. "What are you talking about?" he asked angrily.
"You went from my whore of a sister to her?" Penny spat, gesturing to Mayree. "I knew Donna was fucking you and Randy. She told me. She fucking bragged about it! All I wanted was you. Well guess what? Donna didn't want to share you. That greedy could fuck the Ross brothers, but she couldn't let her own sister be with the guy she loved? I love you Quinn. I always have. I wanted you so much and you stayed with that fucking whore Donna!"
"I wasn't interested in you Penny," Quinn replied firmly.
Mayree was startled at the sudden movement by Penny as she jumped up from the couch. "Why not? Why the fuck not? Look at me! I could have any man I want."
Mayree stared at Penny, who stood three feet away with her hands on her hips. She remembered when she had thought Penny was so perfect. That she would have done anything to be Penny. How wrong she had been to ever envy such a conceited bitch.
Penny's voice was shrill. "You were supposed to be with me after Donna died!"
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Quinn slid sideways from beneath Mayree and stood.
"I love Mayree, she is the woman I was always supposed to be with," he said calmly.
"No," Penny screamed. "If it weren't for me you'd still be with my whore sister!"
Quinn looked at her suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"
"You think Donna took all those fucking pills herself?"
Penny was panting and her nostrils flared, her eyes were wild. She looked as if she'd soon be foaming at the mouth.
"I fed them to her! That stupid crazy bitch! You know how much she liked to drink. I sat right here in this fucking house and drank with her, and every drink I got her I mi
xed with her fucking crazy pills until the bottle was empty."
Mayree stared at the girl in disbelief, then quickly turned her gaze in Quinn's direction. His face seemed devoid of any emotion.
Penny laughed. "She wasn't even dead yet when I left.
She was lying on the sofa, drooling and convulsing."
Penny approached Quinn and put her arms around him.
"So you see. If it wasn't for me that's who you would be with ... your whore Donna! You should be thanking me."
Quinn pushed her away.
Mayree caught sight of Randy's face. It was red with anger. He stood and grabbed Penny's shoulder.
"All this fucking time! You let me and my brother feel like we had done something wrong, something to push her over the edge."
Penny smiled. "No, she liked what you two were doing.
She liked it just fine. She bragged about it to me every chance she got."
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"Do you have any idea how many unanswered questions what you did caused? How much hurt you caused?" Randy asked angrily.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Grow up, Randy! She wasn't fucking you because she loved you. She wasn't fucking Quinn because she loved him. She was a whore.
Now she's a dead whore. I did everybody a favor." She smiled. "My dad bought me a new car after she died to cheer me up!"
Penny shook his hand from her shoulder and spun around facing Quinn. "Quinn?" she said softly. "Think about it. You know I did you the biggest favor. She didn't love you. She used you. I would do anything for you. I love you so much, Quinn!"
Quinn's jaw was clenched, and his hand was balled into a tight fist.
Penny turned and faced Mayree.
"You see!" she screamed. "He doesn't even care! He's not a normal fucking human being! He isn't capable of normal fucking emotions. If he doesn't care about me do you really think he loves someone like you? I mean look at you!"
Mayree stood from the chair. "I think you're the one who's not normal, Penny. There's something wrong with you. You're sick."
Stolen Property: The Abduction of Mayree Jacobs Page 15
