Love's Healing Touch

by Jane Myers Perrine

That sounded terrific.

  Ana wound her arms behind his neck. His nearness and his scent— a mixture of man, musky aftershave and disinfectant— jolted her both physically and mentally. She should pull away but was completely thrown off balance by Mike's closeness and, when she glanced up at him, the need in his eyes. She refused to give it up, to shorten the time of this amazing connection.

  When at last Mike stepped away, he rubbed his index finger down her cheek. "Dr. Ramírez," he spoke softly but firmly, "your choices for my behavior around you are cold and polite or what just happened between us. I don't know how we could handle this attraction without people starting to talk."

  She yearned to return to the circle of his arms but he'd crossed them firmly on his chest. She shook her head in an effort to kick-start her brain, to understand what had happened.

  What had happened was that Mike had embraced her, and she'd folded herself in his arms with great delight and enthusiasm. "Could we ignore this? Could we go back to working together in a friendly way?"

  He ignored that suggestion. "Coldness or this." He waved his hand as if to encompass what had just happened in this office. When he looked at her, she saw the same confusion she felt. "I've already passed friendship."

  "I prefer the second choice." She blinked. "Very much, but you're right. This." She waved her hand around the office as she spoke. "This isn't the best way to act in the hospital or for either of us professionally."

  The focus that had guided her for twenty years came back to clear her head. Being found in the embrace of another staff member in a hidden corner of an unused office was not how she wanted to be remembered, was not what she'd worked for all these years.

  And yet, how could she forget that moment? Maybe whatever was between them might be better than what she'd prepared for all her life.

  She took a step closer and rubbed her fingers along the stubble on his cheeks. When she paused, he moved her hand to his lips, kissed the palm and held it.

  With a sigh of resignation, she tugged her hand away. "You're right. As wonderful as this was, it can't happen again."

  He nodded, attempting to look cool and distant. It didn't work. The tautness of his expression told her the attraction between the two of them bothered him as much as it did her and that he had made the same decision.

  "Let's go back to how we were before— staff members, people who work together," she said.

  He nodded again. "Yes, Dr. Ramírez."

  "Fuller." The voice of Olivia, the RN on duty, filtered through the thick door. "Transfer."

  Ignoring the voice for a second, he kept his eyes on her.

  "Fuller, we've got a lot of patients backed up out here. We need you. Now!" Olivia shouted.

  Without a word, he strode toward the door, opened it and left the room.

  Ana moved to look in the mirror. Light whisker burns colored her neck and right cheek. That was going to be hard to hide and harder still to explain. Her makeup bag was in her locker, but she did have the small tube of lotion she carried in her pocket to keep her hands soft after so many washings. She took it out, squirted a bead into the palm Mike had so recently touched and rubbed it on her reddened skin. That would have to do.

  "Dr. Ramírez?" Olivia's voice came from the open door.

  "Yes?" She turned.

  "I'm sorry I bothered you and Fuller."

  What? Did the entire E.R. know what had happened between them? How embarrassing. There hadn't been time for him to tell anyone. Also, she was sure he wouldn't have, so how did Olivia know? Had she been able to see them in the corner? She glanced in that direction.

  "I think Fuller is a great CA," Olivia said. "But if you had to call him down, I'm sorry I interrupted. I wouldn't have if we didn't have an emergency."

  "No, that's not what I had to talk to him about." Not that she was about to say what the topic had been.

  "I know how much you hate to counsel employees on behavior." Olivia nodded sympathetically. "I hope you got your business finished."

  "It wasn't— " She stopped midsentence. "Yes, we completed our business." Remembering their business, she grinned. Very inappropriate.

  Olivia stepped back into the hall. "You're needed in Trauma 3. Possible broken back from a swimming accident."

  "Thanks, Olivia. What are the vitals?" She hurried out of the office and toward the trauma room.

  She'd figure out some way Mike wouldn't take the fall for their disappearance, but not now. At the moment, she had a patient and she'd better focus on that, not the touch of that gorgeous but elusive man.

  Besides, after a few hours of the rush and stress of emergency room life, maybe everyone would forget about the incident. Almost everyone, but not her and, she felt certain, not Mike.

  * * *

  What had he been thinking? Mike pushed a gurney into the elevator. Obviously, he hadn't been thinking at all.

  An orderly didn't go around holding head residents during working hours, no matter how much the head resident had liked it. There could not be anything between them. He was in no position, either financially or mentally, to consider having a relationship with anyone.

  Maybe when he finished medical school, they could pursue this.

  Oh, sure. If he finished med school. By then she'd be married and have a couple of kids.

  Why couldn't he get it through his head that a man who'd quit school and was trying to support his mother and brother wasn't exactly a prize? Better to treat Dr. Ramírez with the respect and courtesy she deserved, to pretend he'd never held her against him, that she hadn't leaned into his arms. He had to remember where he was in his life. On top of the emotional turmoil the incident had awakened, he needed this job too much to behave unprofessionally.

  * * *

  How much he needed the job was reinforced when he leafed through the mail on the kitchen table a week later. The electric bill was higher than he'd budgeted. In the credit card statement, he found a charge no one had told him about. Where would he find an extra ninety-eight dollars to cover it?

  "I bought some delicious Canadian bacon for you." His mother put a plate on the table in front of him and he began to eat. "It was a little expensive, but I know how much you loved it when you were little." She sat next to him and sipped her coffee. "And I found some wonderful fresh orange juice at the grocery store. I had to get that for your breakfast."

  "Mom." He put down his fork. "Thanks for thinking about me. I appreciate it."

  "You're welcome, Mike. You take such good care of Tim and me. I want to spoil you a little."

  "But we don't have money for extras like freshly squeezed orange juice."

  "Oh, dear, but it's not all that expensive. Only about a dollar more a bottle."

  "We don't have that extra dollar. I don't know how we're going to pay the credit card bill."

  "I had to buy a pair of jeans and some shirts for Tim." She bit her lip. "His were in such bad shape."

  "I know, but you need to tell me so I can plan to work more shifts."

  "Oh." She nodded. "I promise."

  He took a drink of the delicious freshly squeezed orange juice that was worth every penny it had cost. He might as well drink it since they had it. "How's the job hunt going?"

  "Not well. Not at all well. I've found nothing since I helped Antonio for a week." She shook her head. "Too bad he doesn't need me anymore, although I'm delighted he's feeling so strong." She sighed. "Employers are so closed-minded about ex-cons, Mike. Almost no one will give me a chance."

  He glanced up from his breakfast. "You said almost no one. Were there any who would hire you?"

  "Yes, but I don't think I would enjoy doing the kind of work they wanted." She fluttered her hands.

  "What were they?"

  "One was working in a cleaners." She counted off on her fingers. "That would be such hot work. I did that for a year in prison, and it's not pleasant. Another was working in a fast-food place like Tim. I'm his mother. I should have a better job than my son has. One was
in a restaurant, washing dishes, I believe."

  "I hope you can find a job you'll enjoy, but right now, I need you to get a job. Any job. We need more money and you have to consider your parole status."

  She frowned. "Darling, I didn't realize we were in such dire straits."

  "Until I got these bills, I thought we were doing better. I haven't had to take money out of the savings account until now."

  "I guess I could take one of those jobs."

  "Mom, we're going to run out of money soon. After I pay the rent, we might not have enough for other necessities."

  "Why didn't you tell me before?" She reached out to pat his hand. "When you don't communicate, no one knows what you want. I'll take the next job I find, even if it's cleaning out a horse stable."

  The vision of his mother mucking out a stall in one of her long, spangled dresses and her jingling bracelets made him smile. "Thanks, Mom. You should be able to find something better than that."

  "And I'll talk to Tim about what he's doing with the money he's earning. More of that should go into household expenses."

  "Great. Tim gets upset when I tell him that. He says it's his money, and I can't tell him what to do because I'm not his father."

  "Tim doesn't behave like an adult sometimes."

  "No, he doesn't. I bet you can get him to put some in the pot and to buy his own clothes."

  "I'll talk to him." She patted Mike's hand. "If you wouldn't hold everything inside, life wouldn't be so hard for you."

  As if he didn't know that already, but the habit of a lifetime was hard to break.

  When she stood and waved her hand, her bracelets clinked together. "I'll get the want ads and make some phone calls now." She'd almost reached the arch to the living room when she turned back. "By the way, I've invited Antonio and his family to dinner Thursday."

  Antonio and his family to dinner Thursday? Where would he find money to buy food to feed that many people?

  "Tim said he'll help buy groceries. Antonio's going to bring the meat so I only have to provide the rest."

  That helped on the cost.

  She looked at him and bit her lip. "I'd really like you to be here."

  Which brought up the more important question: where could he hide from Dr. Ramírez? After what happened in the empty office, the idea of seeing her outside of the hospital, probably dressed like a normal person and with her beautiful hair down, filled him with panic. He opened his mouth to say he was working the afternoon shift when his mother cut him off.

  "Don't try to get out of it. I checked your schedule. You don't go in until eleven that night."

  "Okay, I'll be here." In a real party mood, he added to himself.

  She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "I don't know why you don't want to flirt with that darling Ana. You seem to ignore her, and she's such a pretty, smart young woman."

  "I'll be nice to everyone, Mother," he said. "I always am."

  But he was not going to flirt with that darling Ana no matter how much she begged.

  "Thank you, dear."

  Trapped again.

  Chapter EightBefore the guests arrived Thursday evening, Mom said, "Why won't you take the money when it's offered to you? You know Brandon can afford it." She shook her head before she dashed off to wipe the counters again and check on the food in the oven.

  Mike looked up from the kitchen table where he was studying an anatomy text book. "I know Brandon can afford it. I know he wants to help Francie's family, but I want to do this myself."

  "Stubborn," she mumbled.

  "Yeah, it runs in the family." The scent of garlic bread filled the room and made it hard for him to concentrate. He closed the book.

  "You and Francie have always been so close. You know she wants you to take the money and go back to med school."

  "Mom, it's because I do owe Francie so much that I can't take the money. I owe her everything, but I want to do this on my own."

  "That makes no sense at all."

  "It does to me. I can't take more from her even if it's Brandon's money. I have to take responsibility for my life, and this is one way I can. This is a start."

  "Well, you're going to have to explain that to Francie because I can't." His mother put the teakettle on the burner and leaned over to pick up a dust bunny on the floor, her silver bracelets and earrings swinging with the motion. When she turned to toss the offending particle in the trash, her scarlet dress swung with her.

  "She'll understand."

  What he understood was why Mom had invited Brandon and Francie to the dinner tonight. She'd said it was because she wanted them to meet Antonio. Mike figured that was one reason. The other was in the hope Francie could convince him to take the money.

  "You know, even with help, I'd have to work at least forty hours a week to rent the house and buy food. I couldn't do that and go to medical school." And, yes, he could take out a loan, but with his future looking so dim, he hated to owe more money than he already did from the first year of med school. He stood and headed out of the kitchen, the anatomy book in his hand, then dropped it on the sofa. "Looks like you need to get the table ready for the party tonight. I'll set the table, then I'll study in the living room."

  "That's another thing," she said as he took the plates from the cupboard and placed them in a stack on the table. "Why are you studying if you aren't going back to school?"

  "Because I like it, because I can use it at work. It's exciting to see what I'm reading about happening right there in the E.R."

  But she wasn't listening. The Ramírez family would be here in a few hours and that's what she was concentrating on. The house looked good because she'd forced Tim, who'd complained every minute, to pick up his stuff. Now she was brewing tea and checking the vegetable casserole and a dozen other little chores while he placed a pile of napkins next to the plates.

  He was glad his mother was so happy, but Mike dreaded the evening. Being with Dr. Ramírez— because that was what he had to call her in his mind to keep his distance— outside the E.R. made his life complicated and uncomfortable. How could he keep his distance with his mother shoving them together? How could he resist Dr. Ramírez when she had her hair down, wore civilian clothes and smiled? No man could.

  At a few minutes after six, Raúl, Luz and Mr. Ramírez knocked. Hearing Mike's shout of, "Come in," they entered the house. Raúl carried a large glass casserole dish while his sister Luz closed the door behind them.

  "We're here, Tessie," Mr. Ramírez said.

  Mom turned her cheek for a kiss. She glowed with happiness.

  "Ana's parking her car. She'll be right in."

  "My niece Francie and her husband, Brandon, will be here in a few minutes, too. You'll like them. Plus, she's bringing a wonderful dessert, something chocolate and filled with whipped cream."

  "It sounds delicious," Dr. Ramírez said as she entered.

  * * *

  As she entered, Ana glanced at Mike. As usual, he looked terrific. He sat on the sofa, a book in his hands, pretending he hadn't seen her come in. But she'd seen his eyes lift toward her for a nanosecond before he'd begun to read again.

  Tonight he wore khaki slacks with a gold shirt that fit his shoulders marvelously and probably made his eyes look great, which she couldn't see because he'd buried them in his book. Probably the nice clothes meant no pickup basketball game with the neighborhood kids this evening.

  "Papi made his wonderful brisket," she said to Mrs. Fuller.

  "Brisket? I didn't realize that was a Mexican dish."

  "We don't always eat tacos, querida." Papi's eyes crinkled in amusement. "Sometimes we eat hamburgers and hot dogs, although we prefer them with hot sauce."

  "We have an uncle that carries his hot sauce with him," Raúl said. "Uses it even on chicken tetrazzini, but the rest of us eat almost anything, sometimes without salsa."

  "Especially this one." Papi waved toward his son.

  "Let's put your lovely brisket in the oven to keep it warm."
She walked through the arch into the living room, and the Ramírez family followed her, chatting with each other.

  After she entered the kitchen, Ana stopped and looked around her at the art on the walls. She was so engrossed, she barely noticed Raúl place the meat on the butcher-block counter.

  A Degas ballerina painted on the wall framed the table, her long right leg stretched across the corner, "This is beautiful. Was it here when you moved in?"

  "I told you about Mom, didn't I?" Mike spoke from only a few inches behind her, so close his breath tickled her neck.

  When had he put down his book and come in the kitchen? She didn't care. He was here, and he was close. Very nice. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Art forgery?" she whispered. His proximity made her fluttery and a little breathless. The feeling was so unlike her, she wanted to move away from his warmth but with Luz, Papi and Mrs. Fuller sharing the tiny space, she couldn't move. Unless she shoved hard, like a tackle through the offensive line, she was stuck close to him.

  He nodded and took a step back. The movement should have been a relief to Ana but didn't turn out that way. Perversely, she missed his warmth and longed to step back with him.

  Mike's mother stood in the middle of the kitchen with everyone studying the beautiful artwork. She looked worried about their opinions, wiping her hands on a towel she'd picked up and trying to read their faces.

  "Tessie," Ana said as she slid between Luz and Papi to stand in front of the mural and feel the power of the art, "this is one of the most beautiful paintings I've ever seen. It's absolutely marvelous." She reached out to touch it. "The color, the texture, the use of light, all are amazing."

  Tessie stopped twisting the towel, relaxed and smiled.

  "Querida, I knew about your painting but had no idea how very talented you are," Papi said.

  "Let me take you into the hall and her bedroom," Mike said. "You aren't going to believe these paintings, either."

  And they couldn't. After many "oohs" and "aahs," several soft strokes across the colors and textures, they returned to the kitchen, overwhelmed.

  "These are all lovely." Papi kissed Tessie's cheek. "I'm proud to know a woman with the ability to bring such joy into the world."