Love's Healing Touch
Page 19
"What?" she gasped and dropped her hand. "You did what?"
He turned away, just a little, so he didn't have to see her face. Probably preferred not to see the horror written there.
Recognizing his pain was greater than hers, she took his chin and gently turned his face toward her. "Go ahead."
"Okay." He stared at the towels on a shelf behind her. "When I was eighteen, Francie took me to the store to buy a loaf of bread. For some reason— I don't know what. I didn't know then and I don't know now. Just plain stupidity." He stopped and took another deep breath. "I told you we Fullers don't make good decisions, that we feel the call to the wild side." He paused. "Anyway, I robbed it."
When he didn't speak for almost a minute, she said, "Go on."
"After my cousin let me out of the car, I pulled on a ski mask and walked inside. The cashier saw me, pulled a wad of cash from the register and gave it to me, handed it right over to me." He looked at his hands as if he could still see the money there. "I grabbed it, ran out of the store and got into the car." He stopped and rubbed his hand across his eyes.
"What happened next?" She attempted to keep her voice calm because Mike's trembled and broke.
"That's the worst part, the part I really hate to talk about." He dropped his head and, she thought, whispered a prayer before he started the story again. "When I got to the car, Francie knew what I'd done. I mean, I had money coming out of the pocket of my jacket and held a ski mask. In Texas, there's only one reason anyone has a ski mask, and it isn't to keep your face warm."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing. She drove around the corner, took the money, face mask and jacket and shoved me out of the car. Then she went to the cops, showed them everything, and confessed to the robbery."
Ana gasped. "What?"
"I didn't know until weeks later that she'd taken the fall for me. She was in prison by the time I found out, and I couldn't do a thing about it."
"Did you talk to her?"
He nodded. "When I found out she was locked up, I visited her and told her I was going to confess. She said it wouldn't do any good because they already had her for the job. All she wanted was for me to become a doctor. A prison record would destroy that." He dragged his hand through his hair. "I think it was more her dream than mine at the time. I can never repay her enough for what she did for me. I'm really ashamed about this. The robbery was stupid." He dropped his face into his hands. "It wasn't a big thrill. It cost Francie a good chunk of her life for nothing. For nothing."
Ana didn't know how to react. This man she loved wasn't the person she'd thought. He'd robbed a store and allowed his cousin to go to prison for it. Her effort at acceptance had taken a sharp turn and become harder than she'd imagined.
"Did you ever try to take responsibility?"
He lifted his face. "When Francie and Brandon were dating, I told him. He said there was nothing I could do about it. The case was so unimportant, they'd never retry it. Besides, everyone would believe Francie. She's very convincing." After a deep breath, he continued, "I still feel guilty. Francie and Brandon have forgiven me, but I don't know if I can forgive myself."
She didn't say a word. She couldn't. She was shaken and stunned. None of the thoughts tumbling through her brain fit the situation.
"You wanted me to share, so you'd know I trust you," Mike said. "I don't know what more I can say. Now you know the worst thing I've ever done. I've changed. I believe the years since have made me a better person. Ana, this is who I am, the man my life has made me. Can you accept me?"
"I need to think." She held on to a shelf and lowered herself to the floor. "It's not easy. I wasn't expecting this. It's hard for me to grasp and even harder to understand."
He kneeled beside her. "I know how difficult this must be for you to take in. Because I love you, because I'm working so hard to change, I hope you still love me and can forgive me."
"I can't pretend this doesn't shake me, Mike." She clasped her hands in front of her. "You're a different person than I thought, a man with a criminal background. I have to think about this."
He didn't say a word, didn't contradict her or try to explain.
And yet, he'd attempted to take the blame for the robbery twice; he'd left medical school to care for his mother and brother, even when it meant losing his fiancée. He'd worked hard as an orderly and was determined to become a doctor. Children loved him, and children always recognized a fraud.
And he'd turned his life over to God.
Could she forgive him for that crime and for allowing Francie to take the fall? But Francie had chosen to go to jail because she loved her cousin.
She glanced into his face and saw such pain, so much suffering and hurt. How could she say she was trying to become a Christian and not forgive a man who looked and sounded so penitent? Who had changed so much? No matter how hard this was for her, the guilt and despair were killing Mike.
"Have you prayed about this?" she asked.
"Over and over. I believe God has forgiven me."
"You said Francie has."
"She was furious I did such a stupid thing, but she forgave me. That's who Francie is. That's why we all love her so much."
Ana remembered her uncle who'd gone to prison. Those years had been hard on his family, but they'd accepted the prodigal back. Wasn't that the whole point of the parable? Of the gospel?
Oh, Lord, lead me. I don't know what to do, but You can guide me. She sat in the silence and listened. In only a few seconds, peace and compassion filled her. Reaching her hand out, she allowed Mike to help her stand.
"Mike, your past is hard for me to accept, even harder for me to understand, but that was six years ago." She searched for the right words. "Since then, you've changed. You've become a fine young man, a person anyone would be proud to know."
"Ana, can you accept me?"
"I've seen people change. I know it's possible." She stopped her words. Mike had asked her to trust him. What she was about to say would be irrevocable. She paused to order her thoughts and speak carefully as he continued to study her.
"First, I believe that if Francie and God have forgiven you, you have to forgive yourself."
He nodded and continued to scrutinize her face, so nervous his hand shook a little as he grasped hers. "And you? Can you accept me?"
"I'm trying. Give me a little time, I'm really trying."
He didn't say anything but took her other hand. His eyes scanned her expression as if he were searching for clues. "You know where I've been. You know who I am."
She nodded, still too filled with emotion to say more. What was it her father had said about Tessie? Something about seeing the person she was becoming. Could she do the same with Mike?
He pulled her toward him. "I don't have much to offer, but I can promise you this. I will love you forever."
She allowed almost a minute to pass as she considered and prayed, remembering the robbery had been years ago. Suddenly it was easy. She loved him. Her mind cleared and the words tumbled from her mouth. "You're everything I could ever want in a man, Mike. I love you." When she said that, she felt free, filled with happiness and the conviction this was the right decision.
He put his arms around her and leaned his cheek against her hair. "Thank God," he whispered. "Thank You, God." Then he lifted his face and gazed into her eyes. "I love you, Ana. I'll try to show that in everything I do." He smiled, that wonderful smile that warmed her. "Don't even think of changing. I need you to keep after me, because if you don't, I might go back to the old, silent Mike. Your determination is one of the things I love about you."
"You love me because I'm pushy?" she asked again.
"Well, not always, but most of the time. Sometimes it drives me crazy."
"Then you must really love me to put up with that."
"Yeah, I do. Without your encouragement, I won't know that you love me."
"Oh, you'll know." She put her head against his chest and basked in the knowledge that
they were together and sharing, both of them. "You'll always know that."
"It's too soon to ask you to marry me, but I will. I want to be with you for the rest of my life." He held her, his embrace showing her the depth of his love.
Outside, she could hear the chime of the elevators, the sound of people passing and their worried voices, the echo of footsteps getting closer. She figured the latter probably belonged to Hugo who wanted to get his towels.
But here, inside this most ordinary of places, she felt the presence of the spirit. She heard the beat of Mike's heart and felt his loving touch. This was everything she needed.
As she heard the doorknob turn, Ana allowed joy to fill her. In Mike's arms, in a linen closet at Austin University Hospital with the aroma of disinfectants tickling her nose was exactly where she wanted to be.
EpilogueMike looked down the pew. On the other end, Francie sat next to Brandon, who held their two-month-old son. As Mike watched, Francie put her hand on her husband's and smiled into his eyes.
Next to Brandon were Tessie and Antonio, the newlyweds. Closer to him were Julie, Quique and Raúl. Of course, Ana sat next to Mike. On her finger she wore a ring with a tiny diamond, the only one he could afford. Ana loved it. When she placed her hand on Mike's arm, he smiled down at her. Thank You, God, for bringing me this woman who loves me enough to break down my barriers.
On Mike's left, Tim looked handsome with his short military buzz. One more thing to be thankful for. Tim was growing up and becoming more responsible although Mike doubted if he'd ever be conventional. His own man— that was who Tim was.
Sitting with him on that pew were the greatest gifts anyone could ever receive, his family in Christ. They were all here because a few years earlier, her feet hurting and tired after a long day of work, Francie had entered a church and allowed God to transform her.
Life was truly like a pond, its ripples reaching out to touch others. When she'd entered a church and found faith, God hadn't stopped with Francie. That experience had touched and brought this group together. As crowded as they were into this pew, soon they were going to expand to another as family brought more family and witnessed to their friends.
They were truly blessed.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-0607-0
LOVE'S HEALING TOUCH
Copyright © 2007 by Jane Myers Perrine
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