Alyssa's Desire

by Krysten Raine

  "Seems like a shady practice to me," Alyssa replied.

  "Sometimes the law is shady, Alyssa. I hate to say it but there is a lot of gray area when it comes to the judicial system," Jack motioned for Alyssa to begin the recording as he said this. As much as she adored him, Alyssa regarded jack coolly but she told the detective that she was ready. He turned on the camera and Alyssa began to tell the story.

  "I have knowledge that an associate of mine was involved in the criminal distribution of heroin. I know through my contact with certain people, that Trevor Barnes gave Valerie Snyder a fair amount of heroin and that Valerie was supposed to then sell it for him. Valerie is a drug addict and she ended up using the heroin rather than selling it. Trevor Barnes then demanded that Valerie Snyder pay him $5,000 for the drugs that she used. Valerie Snyder supposedly borrowed this money from her daughter and paid Trevor Barnes. Later Trevor once again supplied Valerie Barnes with drugs with the understanding that Valerie would sell it and once more she used it instead. To the best of my knowledge Valerie did not pay Mr. Barnes for the second round of heroin. Valerie Snyder was then arrested and Trevor Barnes was threatening to kill her and her family for nonpayment. That's really all that I know, except that the first time around Trevor Barnes beat up Valerie Snyder pretty good and did some damage to her apartment."

  After Alyssa was done giving her statement, the detective and Jack spoke outside for a few minutes. Alyssa was very nervous as she watched them talking through the small window on the door. Was her statement inadequate? Had the detective decided to keep the charges against her? What about the DA, had he rescinded the offer? Thoughts kept racing through her mind, and none of them were good. Jack and the detective were only outside the door for a few moments, but it seemed like an eternity to Alyssa who felt like her fate was being decided by these two men. A minute later Jack returned and he told Alyssa that the detective went to submit the papers and set things in motion for her release. He told her that they would have to stay in the room for about an hour while the paper work was processed and then he would drive her home. Alyssa was relieved but also so ashamed to let Jack see her like this. She hung her head and then wiped away a few stray tears before offering Jack a thank you for everything he had done to help her.

  "Hey, it's okay. I can't tell you how many times I have represented someone who wasn't a criminal but who got involved with something due to a friend or a family member. Shit happens. What happened here is not your fault. You were trying to help your mother, to save her life. You and I both know that guys like Trevor Barnes only care about making money and pushing their product. He wouldn't have thought twice about killing her and you did what you did to prevent that. I am sorry that your mother has such a dependence problem that she got herself in the same situation twice, and I am sorry that she put such an emotional and a financial burden on you in the process. I can see that you feel embarrassed about being in this situation, but I want you to know that I understand that none of it was your fault and I do not think any less of you because of it," Jack said with true sincerity in his voice.

  "Thank you. I...I just," Alyssa's voice trailed off as she couldn't think of what to say. The reality of the situation was finally hitting her and she was fighting to keep in all of the emotions that she felt. Jack handed her a tissue and Alyssa started to cry softly.

  "You know, I think what you did was commendable. If anything your actions show that you are a strong and caring woman, someone who would put others first. I think these are fantastic qualities and you should be proud of yourself. These are the kind of qualities that I am glad I found in an employee. I still want you to come and work on my team eventually. You have been doing an excellent job; you just need to spend a little time working where you are at before I can bring you on board full time. If I invite you too soon, people might think I like you or something," Jack said jokingly but Alyssa's heart skipped a beat when he said that. She offered a nervous laugh as a response. God I wish he liked me, she thought as she wiped away her tears.

  Their conversation was interrupted when a guard opened the door and informed them both that Alyssa's paper work had been processed and that they were finishing the release procedures. He instructed Alyssa to follow him as they gathered her personal items and had her sign the necessary papers. Jack told her that he would be waiting for her in the prisoner release area and that he would give her a ride home. Alyssa was given her personal items, including the clothing that she wore at the time of her arrest. She changed her clothes and put on some makeup that she had in her purse. She also brushed her hair and chewed on a piece of gum. She was trying to fix herself up the best that she could before she let Jack drive her home.

  "You look a bit happier," Jack said when Alyssa was escorted to the release area.

  "Yes, Mr. Coleman. I can't thank you enough. How can I even begin to repay you?" Alyssa was seriously overwhelmed by Jack's kindness and by everything he had done to help her. The truth is that without him her entire life would have been ruined. It was like he had given her some new hope for the future.

  "You can repay me by keeping up the good work so I can bring you onto my team. I need some good people and you are still at the top of my list."

  Alyssa smiled and Jack gently put his arm on the small of her back and led her out to his car. His touch was so warm and so inviting. How she wanted it to be more than just a comforting gesture. How she hoped that he would caress her or move his hand down to her ass. She would happily express her gratitude for what he had done in a carnal way. If only he would let her, she would gladly give him the best fuck of his life. When they reached Jack's car, she wondered if her thoughts were apparent on her face because he looked at her like he knew that she wanted him. He reached around her and opened the car door for her. She blushed a little bit as he stood so close to her when she got to the car.

  The ride home was somewhat silent. It seemed that neither Jack nor Alyssa knew what to say other than discussing the directions to Alyssa's apartment. Alyssa did say thank you several more times but Jack just kept insisting that it was no big deal. When they arrived at Alyssa's apartment building she invited Jack inside but he declined. He told her that if anyone saw them together they might get the wrong idea. Once again Alyssa wished that Jack's joking commentary was flirting in disguise. She sighed nervously and thanked him once again before exiting his car. She waved goodbye as he drove away all the while thinking about how desperately she wanted him.

  Chapter Six: Regret

  Alyssa couldn't help herself, she was desperately holding on to the hope that Jack might be noticing her more as a woman than as an employee. After all he did seem like he was flirting with her when they were in the interrogation room and again when he took her home. When he had dropped her off at her house he told her to take the rest of the week off to recuperate and to return to work the following Monday. He had already approved the paid time off and he gave her a copy of the approval from human resources. The reason for taking the personal days was listed as "family emergency." Alyssa appreciated that Jack had done that for her. She really needed a couple of days to get her head together.

  Her first day home Alyssa slept nearly the whole day. She was physically and mentally exhausted from being in jail and from the whole thing with her mother and from giving her statement. What a nightmare the whole ordeal had been. When Alyssa finally awoke she realized that she had slept for nearly sixteen hours straight. She noticed that it was late in the afternoon and she cursed herself for sleeping so long out of fear that she would not sleep that night and that her whole routine would be disrupted as a result. She decided to take a shower and then go the gym for a good hard work out. She had not been there since the day she ran into June. She kind of hoped that she would not see her outside of work again for two reasons. First she was embarrassed about being arrested and only June and Jack knew about it. Second, she had gotten the impression that June had a lesbian crush on her and although she was flattered and a bit intrigued,
that was simply too much to deal with at this point in her life. Still, Alyssa needed to get some exercise and so she headed out.

  She attended a spin class and then she used some of weight machines. After that, she went swimming and then she finished her work out by relaxing in the sauna for almost an hour. The steam and sweat did her good. She put a towel over her eyes and just concentrated on releasing all of the negativity from her body. The trip to the gym was both an invigorating and a relaxing experience, and she really needed both. When she got home she was feeling a thousand times better. She ordered Chinese food and she watched two romantic comedies on pay per view. Taking a day to unwind was like heaven and Alyssa felt renewed and ready to pick herself up and embrace the fact that she had been given a second chance. Of course she did have Jack Coleman to thank for that.

  The next day Alyssa treated herself to a relaxation package at the local spa. Normally she wouldn't splurge like that but again she felt that she needed it. The package included a detox bath, a deep tissue massage, a face mask, and a manicure and pedicure. When she was done with the spa, Alyssa went shopping. She bought two new work outfits and some jewelry that was on sale. Come Monday morning, Alyssa was feeling pretty good. She was hoping that Jack would notice her improved state but all he said to her was that he was glad she was back. The next few days, Alyssa was hoping to get a chance to thank him again for his help but he didn't seem to be around very much. She saw him coming and going but it was like he didn't have the time to talk to her. Alyssa started to worry. Was he ignoring her? Maybe he was angry with her for what had happened, or worse yet maybe there was something about her case that she didn't know about. Maybe someone from work had found out that he helped her to get the charges dropped and he had gotten into trouble for it. Well whatever the reason was, Jack seemed distant and as a result, and Alyssa was downright heartbroken. Jack's despondent behavior continued all week and by Thursday Alyssa was convinced that Jack didn't want anything to do with her despite the kind words and apparent attention he had given her at the jail. She had seen him in the hallway, she smiled and he just looked away and pretended to be going through his cell phone. Alyssa sighed and returned to her desk with a heavy heart.

  That night Alyssa was dying to get home. Being around Jack this week wasn't sexy or exciting, it was just depressing. She had allowed herself to fall for him and to think that maybe he was feeling something for her. Now that Alyssa realized that Jack probably wasn't flirting with her at the jail at all, she was utterly and completely devastated. She probably imagined the whole thing in some desperate damsel in distress type scenario. He was only trying to help her because she worked for him, not because he liked her. He probably would have done the same thing for any of his employees. Alyssa felt so stupid for allowing herself to think that there was anything more.

  When Alyssa walked in her front door that night all she wanted was a good stiff drink and a good night's sleep. She threw her briefcase to the side and walked right into the kitchen, searching for the strongest alcohol she could find. 100% proof Southern Comfort should do the trick. She reached into the cupboard for a glass and then she filled it a quarter of the way with ice and half with the whiskey. She didn't normally drink it straight but today she didn't care what it tasted like or how much it burned going down. She kind of liked it actually, like it was symbolically burning away the pain she felt inside.

  Alyssa sat her drink on the counter and she cast an annoyed glance toward the persistent beeping of her answer machine. With a sigh and a bought of courage, Alyssa took a mighty swig. She coughed and sputtered as that swig of whiskey burned her mouth and throat with incredibly intensity. Even Alyssa's ears were on fire and her eyes were watering. Alyssa sat her glass back down on the counter and walked over to the answering machine. Two new messages were showing on the display.

  First new message received on May 29th at 2:47 pm. Alyssa Snyder this is Charles Krintz from payday loans express calling to offer you a special rate of only 2.9% on your next loan. Please respond within fourteen days to take advantage of this fabulous offer.

  Alyssa deleted the message before it was finished playing. Really the last thing she needed was to owe those people any more money than she already did. The machine played the next message.

  Second new message received on May 29th at 4:19 pm. Alyssa? It's mom. If you're there please pick up. They are only going to allow me to call you once without it being a collect call for you. Something terrible has happened. One of Trevor's slimy friends went and gave a statement about me selling smack for him. They have added distribution and intent to sell charges. I'm looking at like ten to fifteen years now instead of just a few months and I have been transferred to the state prison now because these are felony charges. I'm in the rehab area so I can't call or have visitors until I'm clean. At least you got what you wanted there. Please come and see me when I finish the rehab. I feel so alone. The message ended there.

  Alyssa felt lower than dirt. She knew it was her statement that took her mother from the misdemeanor charges of possession and prostitution to felony charges of drug dealing. Alyssa threw up in the sink and then she dropped to the floor in her kitchen and just cried. She had wanted her mother to get help but now she felt like she had thrown her mom under the bus just to save her own ass. Maybe Jack knew about this and that was why he was avoiding her at work. Maybe he knew about this the whole time and didn't bother to tell her that the charges would be increased to felonies. Did he know this would add ten to fifteen years to her mother's sentence? That asshole! Alyssa was furious with Jack and with herself. She wanted her mother to get into a rehab program and to be safe, but not like this, not at the cost of her life! That was the reality of it, too. Alyssa knew that by the time her mother got out she would be nearly seventy years old. A broken old woman with hardly any life left to live. How would Alyssa ever live with the guilt? Before long, Alyssa was back to drinking the whiskey, despite the intense burn it offered while it was going down. This time she bypassed the glass and the ice and she drank straight from the bottle like a broken down whine-o. She continued this way until she eventually passed out on the kitchen floor.

  The next morning Alyssa awoke to hard linoleum and the smell of vomit and alcohol. She was hung over, nauseous and bitter. She was angry at Jack and even more upset with herself and now she had to drag herself to work and try to pretend like everything was fine. Alyssa made her way to the shower and cleaned up the best she could. She still looked like a train wreck though, with deep set circles under eyes and a look of utter disgust on her face. For breakfast she had a latte and four Tylenol. It was a good thing that she regularly used the subway to get to and from work because she was in no shape to drive. She was still buzzed yet hung-over at the same time. She felt like she was going to puke again and light and sound were nothing more than a torturous assault on her senses. Ah yes, it was going to be a lovely day. Alyssa kept telling herself to just get through the workday without letting on that she was still drunk from the night before.

  "Are you feeling okay, Alyssa?" June asked when Alyssa walked into the office looking like she had been to hell and back.

  "I have a really bad migraine but I'm okay," Alyssa said quickly and then she made her way to her desk. For the next few hours she worked in silence, still reeling from a dull, persistent headache and trying to determine if her stomach was going to hold back. The last thing she wanted was to throw up at work. By lunch time though her stomach felt better and the pain in her head was starting to subside. She even managed to eat a turkey sandwich and drink a soda that she purchased from the cafeteria. June saw that Alyssa was eating and she decided to join her friend.

  "Are you feeling better?" June asked as she placed her lunch tray on the table and sat down opposite of Alyssa.

  "Yeah, thanks for asking," Alyssa said with a smile. The two girls chatted about random things, mostly office gossip but nothing major. June did not mention anything about Alyssa's arrest and for that Alyssa was thankful
. That was the last thing that she wanted to talk about. As they were eating Alyssa saw Jack as he entered the cafeteria. This time it was she who looked away as she was still furious with Jack. She was unsure if he knew what had happened with her mother, but the fact that he was ignoring her was a pretty good indication that he did. Jack saw them and he nodded in their direction but much to Alyssa's relief he did not approach them. Instead he gave a smile and a nod and then he took his to-go order and left. Alyssa tried to hide the fact that she was uncomfortable.

  "Mr. Coleman seems to be really busy lately," she said dryly as Jack left the cafeteria. Alyssa couldn't help but look after him as he walked away.

  "Isn't he always?" June replied and then they returned to their previous conversation. After lunch the two women went back to their respective cubicles to finish off the day's work. Alyssa was so grateful that it was Friday. Just a few more hours and she could get out of there for the weekend. Maybe she wouldn't feel so bad come Monday morning.

  The afternoon would bring about some interesting events, however. Alyssa was sitting at her desk working on some of her more menial tasks when the sound of shattering glass followed by the blaring of a car alarm startled her along with everyone else in the building. Everyone in the office ran to the windows to see what was happening. Alyssa cupped her hands over her mouth and her eyes grew wide as she saw that Jack's Lexus had been moved right outside the windows that were closest to his office and that his ex-wife was currently bashing it in with a baseball bat. Somebody knocked on Jack's door. He answered it with a phone in his hand. He clearly had no idea what was happening. A few seconds later he ran to the window and looked down to see that his car's windows had all been shattered and that headlights and tail lights were broken. He watched in horror as his ex-wife smashed in the doors with the true fury of a scorned lover.