More images come. Girl. Straddling him. Can’t see where her hands are but I can see his. I can see them on her back, in her hair. The image haunts me. I want to block it out. Scream. Run away from it. Dig it out of my brain.
Caleb. Sidewalk. Cold. He says he wants to end us but his eyes are begging me to stay. I can see it now. Why couldn’t I see it a few weeks ago?
Lidia. Library. Matt talking to Caleb. Caleb’s body stiffens. Is it me? Is it because I can see him? I look away but I don’t want to. I’m angry. Hurt. Confused. I want answers. Why did he lie to me all this time? He could have told me he didn’t want to move in, he should have told me he wasn’t fine, but he didn’t say a thing.
It’s dark again. No more images. No more memories to sift through.
Faint beeping. A voice pleading with me. “Baby, it’s been five days. The doctor says you should be waking up soon. Please open those gorgeous eyes.” Wetness upon my cheek, and then a calloused hand brushes my skin. My heart pounds deep in my chest. I beg for my hand to tighten its hold on whoever is gripping it. I remain still.
“Sky, I have to go. I’ll be back tonight.” I feel the faintest touch on my cheek. I’d give anything to respond.
***
My dad’s voice breaks through the darkness. “She’ll ruin me. If I dare let her in. But she can never see. Never know what I truly am. So I’ll hate her. Yes, it’s better this way.” It’s better that I push her away. Love her only from afar where I know I can’t harm her. Her soul depends on it. For I’m a collector of souls, innocent and corrupted. He’s reading my favorite book, Soulless Sound, by J. Marie. I highlighted that passage when I was in high school.
“Skylar, when you wake up, we’re going to have a talk about your taste in literature. Goodness.” I don’t have to open my eyes to know my dad is shaking his head at the book.
A knock comes and a woman’s voice that I’m not familiar with says hello. “We ran some more tests and we have some positive news. Skylar’s body seems to be accepting the treatments. Her brain activity is high. Her vitals are all good. There is no sign of swelling in the brain. We’re going to monitor her a little more closely for the next forty-eight hours.”
“Does this mean you think she’ll wake soon?” my father asks.
“We believe so. All of her recent test results indicate that she should be coming around very soon.”
“Good.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No. Thank you, though.”
Footsteps trail off. Another knock comes and my father says, “Caleb, I thought you had some meetings today?”
“I did. I got them over with early. My agent has a handle on the other stuff. They’ll call if they need me.”
“I was just reading to her. She always read this book when she visited the house. Thought she’d like to hear it.”
“I’m sure she loves it. Do you want me to give you more time? I can go get you a sandwich or something.”
“No, that’s alright. I need some air. I might take the girls out to an early dinner.”
Something touches my hand while something else presses against my forehead. I think it’s a calloused thumb rubbing circles around my knuckles, and then I think lips touch my wrist.
“Baby, the doctors say you’ll be awake soon. I hope you are. I need you to wake up.”
I can hear the exhaustion in his voice. Hell, in everyone’s voice. How long have I been in this darkness and why can’t I wake up?
“I need you to …” His voice fades.
I’m falling deeper into the darkness.
I hear a scream.
My name. Someone is yelling my name. “Skylar! What’s wrong with her? No! I need …”
“Sir. Please.”
“Skylar! Fight it! Whatever you do, don’t …”
My eyes jolt open and a gasp rips through me. It’s restricted, though. I try to lift my hand to remove the thing covering my mouth but a tight grip restrains my arm. I try to speak. Again, this stupid thing on mouth is stopping me from doing that. Strange people with blue surgical masks, hats, and scrubs surround me. My eyes dart from face to face until I see Caleb in the far corner, being blocked by someone from me.
I struggle against the restraints to get to him. “Skylar, I’m Doctor Larkins. You were in a terrible car accident. You’ve been at Memorial Hospital for six days.”
Something lifts from my face. I try to mumble something but my throat hurts. I blink and feel liquid running down my cheeks. Caleb pushes his way to my bedside and grabs my hand. “Baby, oh God, you’re here. Sky, I thought … you scared the shit out of me. Don’t ever do that again.”
My lips fight to form the word “Okay,” but it feels like needles stick and scrape along my throat. The doctor is still talking but all my focus is on Caleb. I squeeze his hand. His eyes are wide, but there is hollowness to them, like he hasn’t slept for months. And even though I see his love for me, my heart still hurts.
The image I tried to banish returns and my stomach sours. I attempt to sit up. The room spins. Pain splices through my muscles and my head throbs. I slap a hand over my mouth to hold back the sickness ready to burst out of me, and someone tries to ease me back to lie down. I won’t. I can’t. I’m going to hurl.
“I think she’s about to be sick,” Caleb says.
A pan lands in my lap and a woman in purple scrubs helps me sit up. “It’s okay,” she whispers, rubbing circles on my back with her hand.
I’m not going to blow chunks in front of everyone here. Caleb shifts to the door. For once, I’m grateful he isn’t paying attention to me. And as if on cue, I let go and watch green liquid release from me. The nurse takes the pan away once I’m finished. A young doctor with blond hair peeking out from under his cap helps clean me up.
It feels like forever before the room clears out and only a nurse and Caleb remain. The doctor mentioned something about a few minutes, parents, ice chips. Honestly it all muddled together and I didn’t really pay much attention.
Caleb finally returns to the seat beside my bed. The nurse adjusts my bed, and Caleb takes hold of my hand.
“Hi,” he whispers.
I pull away. “Go …”
“What?” he reaches for my hand again but I shake my head.
“Go away.” God, it hurts so much to talk.
“Sky?” He looks hurt. Good. He should be.
I look down at my lap. Why can’t he just leave? “I never want to see you again.”
“Skylar, look at me.”
I don’t.
“Skylar, please. Look. At. Me.”
My heart yells at me to look at him. Begs me to. My mind is screaming for me to tell him to go screw himself.
“I can’t,” I say. My voice is so hoarse.
I can feel his stare. “I know I messed up. But I need you—”
I cut him off. “You were right. Just go. Please.”
The door opens and a flood of familiar faces come pouring in. I’m so thankful for the distraction. Kayla shoots a glare at Caleb and then looks at me, concern flashing through her gaze.
I want to smile but can’t. My mouth actually aches when I try to use it. The nurse enters again with a dry erase board. “Keep the talking to a minimum. Use the board for a little bit.”
She reaches around Caleb and hands me a cold glass of water. “Sip it slowly.”
I nod. I take a few small sips of water, and then the nurse takes the cup away and leaves the room. I draw a smile for Kayla and write, “Thanks, bestie.”
“Always. I’m glad you’re awake. Get enough beauty rest?” she jokes.
I write, “Maybe. Jealous?”
She laughs. “Um, yes. I need sleep.”
Lance is next to her. He shakes his head at me and I write, “What?”
“You’ve got two shiners, sunshine. And you worried us. Shit, Sky, you’ve been out cold for six days.”
Caleb tries reaching for my hand again but I jerk it away. I make the mistake of lookin
g at him and see his deep frown. It almost breaks me. Everyone in the room is staring at us. I write on my board, “Can I just talk to my mom, dad, Lidia, and Julie for now?”
Everyone nods but Caleb. He looks horrified. Well, too bad. I can’t deal with him right now. Our issues are too vast, and I just want to get through the small stuff first.
Baby steps.
I look at Julie and write, “I’m sorry for not trying. I was a bitch and I’m sorry.”
Chapter 28
Caleb
She dismissed me from her room. Sky picked up a knife and cut out my heart. Has she any idea how worried I was? How I feared she’d die?
I haven’t had proper sleep for four days now. Every moment I could get, I was in her room. Holding her hand. Kissing her knuckles. Praying she’d come back to me. Open her eyes and see me.
I run my fingers through my hair, digging at my scalp as I pace the waiting room. She didn’t mean what she said. She wants me here. I know she does.
Kayla smacks her gum and glares at me.
“For fuck’s sake, Kayla, just tell me why the hell you’re so pissed off at me.”
“You really want to know?”
Lance sinks into the seat beside her and whispers something. She throws up a hand but doesn’t take her eyes off me. “Shhh.” She narrows her eyes a fraction and snaps, “Where do I start? Hmm. Oh, how about when you lied to my friend and told her you wanted to get a place together and then backed out? Or what about this number: you broke up with her on Valentine’s Day. My favorite asshole moment, though, would have to be the picture of you and the skeezy redhead. Nice, Caleb. And heaven forbid she moves on without you, because you’ll go kick the guy’s ass.”
She sits back, folding her arms. I shake my head. “What redhead? And what picture?”
“Oh, don’t play innocent! Your buddy showed Sky.” She whips out her phone and shows me a text message from Sky.
I snatch her phone away and begin reading.
Sky: It’s over. He did exactly what I said he’d do.
Kayla: What R U talking about hon?
Sky: He hooked up with the redhead.
Kayla: Who did?
Sky: Caleb!
Kayla: When? How? I thought he was in Indy?
Sky: Who cares? Matt showed me a pic of
them. I’m done.
Kayla: I’m sorry. Come over.
Sky: Okay be there soon.
I shake my head. “I didn’t hook up with anyone. I swear.”
She takes her phone back. “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t see the picture. But I’m pretty sure Skylar can identify you in a photo, Caleb.”
I grit my teeth. “Is this why she won’t look at me?”
Kayla shrugs. “Probably. Caleb, you broke her. Maybe … maybe she just needs some time. Tell her that isn’t you in the picture, but then walk away. Just until she gets her mind set. She’s not ready for anything. Not when she hasn’t healed from the first wound you dealt her.”
I slump back down into my chair “You guys, I love her. She’s everything to me. But you’re right. I need to give her space, let her figure out what she wants.”
Lance eyes me. “Dude, she’ll come around. The girl loves you.”
“Right now I think she hates my guts, but okay.”
He smiles. “Isn’t that how you two started off?”
Kayla groans. “Don’t encourage him. If you love her, you need to back off.”
I get up from my chair as soon as the family leaves. The elevator dings and my uncle steps out with five bags of food. He looks at me and asks, “What did I miss?”
“She’s awake,” I say.
“Oh, thank goodness. I got food for everyone.” He hands it off to Lance and Kayla. They start pulling things out while he heads down the hall to Erin. He wraps her up into a hug and kisses her forehead. She whispers something to him and he laughs and tightens his hold on her. It’s in that moment that I realize I want that with Skylar again. Permanently. Not for a little while. Not for a couple years. Forever.
***
I don’t set off for Sky’s room to explain myself. The doctors said we should keep her as stress-free as possible for the next forty-eight hours. Asking her about the photo she apparently saw of me and the redhead wouldn’t exactly lower her stress.
Skylar is what I call an over-thinker. It’s not a bad thing but she’ll work herself up into a frenzy. I know her, and the first thing she’ll want to do is find out who’s in the picture. Then she’ll want to know who sent it and why. And lastly she’ll want to confront that person.
When I get back to my dorm I start pulling out boxes. I untack last year’s football team poster, roll it up, and secure it with a rubber band. Then I start on my desk. It’s a bitch. Why? Because I always just blindly shove everything into the drawers. Doesn’t matter what: graded papers, junk mail, flyers, it’s all in this desk. Instead of tossing it all in a box and just sorting it later, which was my original plan, I start going through it all, one drawer at a time, then take the embarrassingly large load of crap I’ve collected over the year to the recycling bin.
Kyle is gone until Sunday evening. This means I won’t really get to say goodbye to him and warn him that I’m taking my PlayStation 4 and all my games with me. The guy is on that thing more than I am.
As I’m carrying boxes out my door, Vince shouts at me, “Hey Caleb! What’s up, man? How did … oh, are you taking off?”
“I’m moving out. No longer a student and all.” I continue down the hall.
Vince snatches one of my boxes from me. “Let me help you out, man.”
“Thanks.”
We make four trips and my car is filled.
Vince looks at me and rubs the top of his head. “I don’t know, man. Are you sure you don’t want to put some of these boxes in my car? I’ll follow you to Lance’s.”
“Nah. I gotta get going.”
He shrugs. “Alright, man.”
Chapter 29
Skylar
He hasn’t returned since I told him to leave. Not that I expected him to. Lidia keeps me company for the most part. She flips through channels on the TV and stops on some reality show about people living in a house and hooking up. It sounds stupid, but after three episodes I’m actually saying, “Ooooh, no, she didn’t.”
Lidia leans back in her chair and laughs, “I know. He’s so ugly.”
“And he was hooking up with that Marcy chick in the pool, like, two nights ago.”
Her phone rings she looks at the screen and hits ignore. “Mad at someone?” I ask.
“Ugh! Yes, myself.” She shakes her head and looks down at her lap. “When I got the call from Dad saying you were hurt, I freaked out. And then I did something really stupid.”
“What did you do?”
Lidia’s eyes meet mine and she groans. “I called Malcolm. He was, um … anyway, it was a mistake. He’s been blowing up my phone ever since.”
“Why don’t you talk to him?”
“Because, he left me! Before him, I protected myself from being one of those kinds of people, getting all doe-eyed and falling for some stupid boy only to be hurt later on. I vowed to never be that person. I had a system: flirt a little, date for only two months, and get out. It was easy. I didn’t feel enough to actually get emotional.”
I frown. “Lidia, that’s not how life works, though. You can’t … you’ll never truly live until you take risks. And falling in love isn’t so bad. Sure, it sucks when you break up or things don’t work out, but … that’s how you get to find that one person. Your heart has to be ready for him.”
She snorts. “You sound like a Hallmark card.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but it’s the truth. Just talk to Malcolm.”
“I’m not going to talk to him. God, I thought you of all people would understand. Didn’t you just push Caleb away?” She glares at the TV. “He’s been here every day. Brian had to remind him of his appointments. The boy wouldn’t budge unless f
orced. He cried, held your hand, and you just …” Her eyes land on mine. “Why? Because you know just as well as I do that there is going to be great distance between you two and you can’t handle it.”
I turn away from her. She’s right. The picture was one stupid thing. It means he can move on faster than I can, which hurts, or maybe he tried to get the idea of us out of his system. Brie does that sort of thing all the time. Lidia was trying to get me to do it too while she was here visiting me. So I’m not mad at him, it just hurt to see. And even if we could go back, next month is the draft. And we’ll be in a long-distance relationship where Skype chats and masturbation will have to satisfy until we physically see each other. Then our relationship will be one big humpfest instead of something more substantial.
“You’re right.”
Her hand lands on mine and gives it a light squeeze. I look up. “We’re so messed up, sis. Giving our hearts away to men who are states away. Never really getting any of the pieces back.” She rests her head on the back of her chair and sighs. “We’re screwed, aren’t we?”
I lean back against my pillows and groan. “Yeah. We really are.”
“I stalked his Facebook page until last month, when he went from single to in a relationship. God, I’m so pathetic. That’s the other reason I can’t call him back or answer his calls. He’s moved on.”
I don’t really know what to say about any of this. Thankfully I don’t have to, because my mom pops into the room.
“Do you girls want me to pick up some ice cream?”
Lidia and I exchange smiles. “Hell, yeah!” we both say.
My mom nods. “Okay. What flavors would you like? I’m picking up my two favorite men, Ben and Jerry. And then we’re all going to have some girl talk.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Mom. We really don’t need to.”
Rival Dreams (Rival Love #3) Page 13
