by Quell T Fox
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I retort. He breaths out a laugh as he walks away, shaking his head. And a moment later I hear the click of a door as it closes.
I close the trunk and drag the bags into the room, hoping the entire way that they don’t tear at the bottom. There has to be something in these bags to wear. I made sure to grab as much of my stuff as possible, and the most important things since I don’t plan on going back there. Ever. I also didn’t want Douche to have the opportunity to be an even bigger Douche and throw my stuff away. Cause that’s something he would do. He’s that level of petty. I lock the door behind me, leaving the bags by the door and plop onto the bed sending the water bottles flying off and onto the floor. Oops. The stress of the day is finally taking over, making me extremely tired. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let this situation bring me down. Yeah, I loved him…still love him? I don’t know. But obviously he doesn’t love me. I’m upset, and hurt but he doesn’t care, so neither will I.
That’s all there is to it.
I fall asleep to the image of that stupid blonde riding my boyfriend and don’t wake up until knocking pulls me out of sleep.
CHAPTER 2
Maddox
I open the door to the tiny motel room that all four of us are sharing. As annoying as it is squishing into this room with these guys, I look forward to it. Though I’ll never admit it out loud. That girl out there, there is something about her. She’s one of us, I know it. I can feel it in my skin. I felt it as soon as she got here, I knew someone like us was near. It’s my job as the Superior to watch out for anyone that could be a potential threat, and normally the only others that are a threat to us are ones like us. Humans don’t know the difference; they are too ignorant. It’s embarrassing. They could see something happen right in front of their face, something they can’t explain, something magic and will still deny it. Fucking humans.
I’m not sure if I should tell the guys yet, about her. I don’t think they’ll take it well. We’ve been on these trips too many times and for too many years, never with any luck. Normally people find their Circles easily, they are naturally called to one another, but for us? Nothing has been easy. Not since we were children, why would it be any different now? We go on this ‘vacation’ every year - if that’s what you want to call it - in search of our One. Something we decided to do when we realized she wouldn’t be coming to us. In an ideal Circle, each person feels a calling towards one another no matter where they are in the world and eventually, they all find one another. After a few years of us being together and no one showing up, we knew we had to do something.
We drive to nowhere in particular, hoping that I will get a call to one place or another. It’s never happened. I didn’t get a feeling to come here, either. I just did and then there she was. But she came here after us. Was she called here? I don’t think so. She should have felt something while I was out there with her, but she didn’t. That, or she’s really good at ignoring it.
I stood on the balcony smoking my cigarette and I watched her walk out of her room. At first, I thought there was something wrong with her, like she was hurt. She was walking funny. Then I realized it was because she didn’t have shoes on.
She didn’t react to me; she should have felt something. I knew the moment she was close, I felt it. When she walked out and I saw the source of the pull, a relief washed over me. Until there was no reaction on her end. Then the dread set in again. Now, here I am going back and forth with what the hell I should do about this.
These trips used to be fun and exciting, back in the day I would call it a vacation and believe it. It was a way for us to get away from our bullshit, from our past and enjoy life and have fun together. Then slowly over the years, it stopped. Now none of us look forward to it and I’m surprised we all still show up. Each of us still holds on to a small bit of hope, I think. It’s the only reason we show up, it has to be. We all know that if we aren’t together, then it won’t work. That’s the rules. Our One will only come to us when we are together.
We were told when we were young that this would happen, from the prophet back home. That it would not be easy to find our One. But when we did find her, she would fix everything for us. That we would be in bad shape - which we are, but she will bring us back together, making us a perfect Circle at last. The guys don’t believe in it, well Lenny does, a little. He’s the one that trusts me the most, probably because I practically raised him. Callan doesn’t believe in that kind of thing, funny for someone like him to be able to say that but he’s too smart for his own good. He puts too many eggs into the fact basket. And Alec? That guy is the most negative person on this planet, not that I can blame him after the shit he’s gone through. But Lenny, he gives me hope. He’s the reason I come.
I keep going for all the guys, I do it for all of us because it’s my job. And because I do love them all, in a way. Yeah, I could give up and let us fall apart, but after everything that we have been through together…I can’t let that all go to waste. I can’t let it all be for nothing. I won’t.
As I let go of the door, it falls closed behind me with a loud click. I see Lenny lounging on one bed and Alec on the other, the muffled sound of the shower is going, which I know is from Callan. Even if the other guys weren’t in the room, ten to one that Callan is the one in the shower. He showers too much, I don’t know how he has skin left. I pretend to busy myself with looking through the bag, but really, I’m trying to figure out what to do. Do I tell them, or no? Should I talk to her first? I catch the guys out of the corner of my eye, and I swear I would give my life for them, as much as they annoy the fuck out of me, they’re my brothers.
I have to tell them.
They deserve to know.
We need this.
Callan
Our first stop is in this tiny town named Ellbrook, population 6,317. The guys would never believe me, but I have actually heard of it before. Well, it’s possible that they would believe me, because they know better than to doubt me when I state a fact. This town was once well known for its Jam Festival. It only started losing its notoriety about twenty years ago when the mayor died, and they elected a new one. This one, Franklin Dodgson, tried to continue the same traditions but fell short. The townspeople slowly started to care less and less about the Festival, and other town traditions. Now, I’m shocked to see this motel is still up and running. I doubt they have tourists anymore. It’s probably used by teenagers and cheating husbands.
I’m in the shower, because after being in the car for a long time I get sweaty and when I am sweaty I become uncomfortable. Showering soothes me, clears some of my anxieties. All in all, it makes me feel better, refreshed. They guys make fun of me for showering so much, but I smell better than all of them. They also like to pick fun at me for bringing the most clothes for the trip, but because I shower so often, I need more change of clothes than they do. It doesn’t really bother me, them picking on me. I know they do it out of a brotherly love. It’s always been this way, since we were little.
This motel isn’t ideal, usually they aren’t this bad. This is probably one of the worst that we have stayed in. You’d be surprised how many motels in these small towns are nice, this one however, is not. When I laid eyes on the bathroom, I almost didn’t want to set foot in it. But after weighing my options, I decided washing off the car sweat would be more beneficial to me. Besides, the mildew and mold on the sides of the tub won’t jump off and attack me. This I know is a fact.
The water stays hot for a while, one of the perks of being in a small motel with no other guests. Full hot water tanks. The hot water and refreshing steam goads me to stay longer, but the filth of the shower is starting to make my skin crawl. Plus, I can’t be sure that the other guys don’t want to shower. I wash my hair quickly, using the products I brought with me. I’d die before using the cheap stuff that these motels leave. I take out a fresh bar of soap and use it to wash my body, pausing when my fingertips graze over the large
scar on the side of my belly button. A day I will never forget.
I laid two towels down on the floor before stepping into the shower, not wanting my bare skin to touch the floor. Ever. I step into my slippers that I left by the door before I grab another lazily folded towel off the shelf above the toilet. Looking down at it I am suddenly appreciative of the fact that I don’t have to sit while I pee. I towel dry my hair and then wrap the towel around my waist. I run my fingers through my hair, making sure that it will dry in the proper place. If it were morning, I’d blow dry it but I know that once I go to sleep it’ll get messed up and I’ve had wasted my time.
I don’t like wasting my time.
I hung my sweatpants on the hook behind the bathroom door before showering, it looked like a decently clean surface. How dirty can the back of the door get? I’m sure it could get very dirty, but not as bad as the sink, toilet and that bathtub. I cringe even thinking about it. I drop the towel to the floor and pull on my pants. Stepping out of the bathroom I see Lenny and Alec taking up a bed and I guess it’s my turn to sleep on the floor. Maddox and Lenny will usually share a bed, because neither of them cares about it, but there is no way that Alec would share a bed with anyone and three of us couldn’t fit in one bed. Normally the odd one would crash on the couch. This room doesn’t have one.
Lenny
Callan finally gets out of the bathroom. I swear he spends more time in there than any woman ever could. I figure now is a good a time as any to find out what the plan is this time. This is our first stop and even though every year we basically do the same thing, maybe this year we’ll do something different. I hope this year will be different.
“What’s our plan, Mad?” I know he doesn’t like the nickname; he doesn’t like any nickname that I give him but this one is my favorite because it does just that…makes him mad. “How long are we staying here for?”
“I think I found her.” He says nonchalantly, to no one in particular, my eyes go from him to Callan, who looks just as taken aback and confused as I feel, and then Alec who ignores him…as usual.
“Who?” Callan asks, still standing by the door to the bathroom, a questioning look on his face. He probably thinks he didn’t spend enough time in there and he’s contemplating going back in for a few more minutes. He sure wasn’t in there as long as he usually is.
“Her,” Maddox says with a little more effort this time.
“You mean her? Like the her?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said shitbag.” His insults don’t bother me, I find them funny. Callan on the other hand always gets offended, even though he tries to act like he doesn’t. Thankfully, this one was directed towards me and I don’t have to deal with them fighting again. Listening to them fight is like being a child back at home all over again. It’s possible that that I have PTSD over that shit, but who knows.
“How do you know?” Callan asks calmly, running his fingers through his damp hair.
“I just know,” Maddox snaps back, in the middle of folding a shirt. The same shirt he’s been ‘folding’ since he came back in from outside. I’m more observant than he gives me credit for.
“That’s a load of shit Maddox and you know it. Are your spidey senses tingling or something? Jesus Christ.”
…and here we go.
“Alec, calm down and let’s listen to what he has to say.” When it comes to Alec and Maddox, Callan plays peacekeeper, they butt heads like crazy, them two. Alec doesn’t much fight with Callan or I, because we know how to deal with him. It’s easy, just ignore him. But, when it comes to Callan and Maddox, I have to be the peacekeeper. I, on the other hand, try not to fight with any of them. These guys are all like my big brothers, we’ve been together since we were kids, they all raised me, especially Maddox. If it weren’t for them, I’d probably be dead.
“No, I’m done listening to him and his bullshit. I don’t want to be here. This whole trip is a joke. We never get anywhere and it’s a waste of my time. I could be home right now. Fuck you guys.”
And if he could’ve slammed the door he would have, but these doors have that anti-slam thingy in place. I don’t know the word for it is, but I bet Callan does.
Alec
All this shit with the Circle is getting old. I knew I shouldn’t have come this year, I almost didn’t because I’m over it. I told myself that this would be the last year I played along with their game. And trust me, it will be. It’s a huge waste of time when I could be home working and making money, catching up on all the bills I have. The bills that I inherited from my shitty parents. The guys have offered to help, but I don’t need their help, I can do this myself and I plan to. As soon as I stop wasting my time on useless fantasies.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with Maddox making a comment like that, to what? Get the other guys excited for something? How can he say something like that when we’ve been here only a few hours and we haven’t spoken to anyone? Did he pull a girl out of his ass while he was outside having a smoke? I don’t fucking think so.
Part of me wants to believe him, wants everything to be right, to be the way it should be, but it won’t because that is my fucking luck. My life has always been shit. Ever since I was born to an alcoholic-drug addict-murderous bitch of a mother, it’s been shit and it hasn’t ever been better since. Yeah, I have the guys, but what does that get me? We argue most of the time and can’t stand to be around each other, even though we’re only around each other for these few weeks out of the year. Lenny and Maddox spend the most time together, since they live in the same city. Lenny visits me most, he’s the innocent one, the baby of us that tries to keep us together, to keep the family. The family that he never had, little does he know how fucked up family is, and it really doesn’t mean a damn thing.
I swear Callan could go without seeing any of us again and he wouldn’t lose sleep over it. He’s some hot shot professor at some fancy private school. Well, fucking good for him. He’s happy with his life, I don’t know why he comes either. Clearly, he’s doing just fine for himself. So, what’s the point? Do they all still have hope for this? For us? No one in the history of our kind has waited this long to find their One. She’s probably dead or never existed at all, because that’s how fucked the universe is when it comes to me.
I’ve been walking for a while when I realize that I don’t know where I am. Not that it really matters, these stupid small towns are impossible to get lost in. They’re all basically the same. A gas station, a shitty motel, a Sheriff’s office (who is also probably the mayor), plus a bunch of little family owned places that probably don’t make enough money to survive, yet somehow stay open. I see the bright white flash of lightening off in the distance and I decide that it’s time to turn back. If I get caught in the rain, I swear that will be my breaking point. The loud roll of thunder comes only a few seconds later and I pick up the pace.
I should have fucking stayed home.
CHAPTER 3
It’s too early to be awake, that much I know. I roll over, squinting my eyes towards the clock to make out the time while I hear another knock on the door. 7:43 A.M. Yeah, definitely too early to be awake. I groan while rolling out of bed, dragging my feet to the door. Looking through the peep hole, I see Todd standing outside, with a big smile on his face. I open the door, unwillingly.
“Good morning,” he says a bit too happily, and loud, “sorry, uh, d-did I wake you?” So, he’s smart, good for him.
“Ya did, but it’s okay.”
“Sorry, about that, I just need the keys…”
“Right, yeah. The keys. One moment please.” I hold a finger up and walk away from the door, leaving it open as I grab the keys off the dresser by the TV.
“See you soon, Todd.” I hand him the keys and close the door before he tries talking more. Too early for words. Need more sleep.
I crawl back into bed and throw the blankets over my head fully intending on getting more sleep and it comes all too easily.
The next time I wake, it’s at a more reasonable hour. I don’t want to get up, but I also don’t want to go back to sleep. I lay in bed for a while, enjoying the silence and the comfort of the bed. Something about motel beds that make sleeping easier. Or maybe it’s just knowing that I’m sleeping without a cheating, lying asshole? Could be both.
My stomach starts growling and I realize that I should get a proper breakfast. I dig through the bags of clothes and pull out something comfy to wear. When I stand, I see the heels thrown into the corner and I contemplate throwing them out. After walking miles in them, I’d love to watch them burn. Along with every other pair of heels that I own. I pull out a pair of jean shorts and a plain white T-shirt. Going into the bathroom, I wash my face, rinse my mouth out with the mouthwash that’s left by the motel, since I don’t have a toothbrush with me. I throw my dark auburn hair up into a messy bun, throw on some flip-flops - that feel like heaven on my feet, by the way - and call it a day.
Making sure to throw the room key into my purse, I grab it and throw it over my arm and walk out the door, heading to the office. It’s person-free, but I found what I was looking for. Along the left wall there are loads of flyers left by local businesses and people coming and going through the motel. Places like this always have a spot designated for small businesses. On the cork board above the table I see a list of restaurants that are close by, the nearest one being only a half mile - says the sticky note that’s attached to it. I look over the table and pull the one that I need. On the front flap is a small map showing where it’s located. Looking at the map, I find the place and backtrack to where the motel is, noting that when I leave here I need to turn left and go straight for three blocks and then turn left. Simple enough.
