I noticed the bottle was the same one I had at my place the night before.
"I'll have an apple martini!" piped up Shannon. She rested her elbow on my shoulder.
"Ok, and for you Lace?"
"Sure, I'll have one too," I smiled. I remembered Ben saying he wasn't much into wine. Had he gone out and bought this specially for me?
"Ok, coming right up. You can make yourself comfortable in the living room if you want," said Ben, starting to mix the drinks.
"Ok," said Shannon, quickly walking away. I started to follow her, but she shot me a look, saying "stay with him!" I leaned my back against the counter, watching him.
"So," I said, nodding, bouncing slowly back and forth.
"So," he answered, smiling. I smiled back, blushing. God, think of something to say!
"So those two?" I asked, motioning my head toward the living room.
"Oh I'm sure," he said, rolling his eyes. He walked toward me, handing me my drink.
"Thanks," I said, taking a sip, not moving my eyes from his. They were warm and happy. God, I needed this drink to kick in quickly. I was too anxious for my own good. What was he thinking? What was he wanting? What was I wanting, for that matter?
"You're welcome," he smiled. "Shall we?"
"We shall." I couldn't help my giant grin as he lead me back to the living room. He handed Shannon her drink.
"I propose a toast," Todd said as he stood. "To a beautiful night with beautiful ladies."
"Cheers!" Shannon cried.
Ben and I touched glasses, smiling a secret "what a cheesy idiot he is" smile. We sat down, Todd and Shannon nestled together on the love seat, while Ben and I sat on the couch. We sat close enough so our knees touched. I ached to be closer to him, but stopped myself. I didn't feel like putting on a full PDA show like the other two.
The night went on, all of us joking, laughing, drinking.
"Can I get you another?" Ben asked me, looking at my empty glass.
"Um sure," I responded. "I'll come with you." I needed a quick break from the teenage boy humor Todd found so funny. We both stood up and walked into the kitchen.
"Are you having a good time?" he asked. "I know Todd can be hard to warm up to sometimes."
"I'm having a great time, thanks. But yeah, he's an interesting character," I smiled.
"To say the least," he grinned. At least he recognized it.
He started to mix my drink.
"Hey guess what!" I cried.
He glanced sideways at me as he poured. "What?"
"My couch came today! It looks great! You'll have to come see it," I smiled. Good excuse to get him back to my apartment, I thought.
"Nice, that was quick," he said. "But too bad we can't have any more living room picnics."
He walked over to me, handing me my drink, our hands brushing each other. His touch ignited the small flame that burned in my belly.
"Yeah, too bad," I smiled shyly, blinking my lashes.
He lead me back to the living room, his hand resting again at the small of my back. I wanted his hand to move lower, and to the front... I had to take a sip to steer my thoughts in a different direction. We stopped abruptly once we realized the room was empty.
"Well ok then. Looks like they were tired," Ben joked.
"Yes, very tired." I brought my glass to my lips. The tension between us seemed to multiply. Now we were alone, with no buffer.
"Are you tired?" he asked. I looked up at him, my eyes widened. "I mean legitimately tired!"
I laughed out loud. "No I'm not, you?"
"Not yet," he grinned. We took our seats on the couch. An electricity hung in the air, seemingly palpable. I quietly sipped my drink, unsure of what I could do to fix my anxiety. Here we were again, both single, drinking cocktails. I now had to admit I wanted him badly, but I still had no idea if he felt the same way. I needed to finish my drink before I could be bold enough to approach the subject.
"Do you want to watch some TV?" he asked, reaching over me and grabbing the remote. His arm brushed against my chest. I felt heat emanating off me. I wanted his real touch.
"Sure," I replied breathily.
He flipped through the channels and landed on the movie, Waiting, on Comedy Central. "This ok?" he asked.
I nodded. Pretty much anything would've been ok. I wasn't able to focus on anything other than him right next to me.
We sat quietly, watching the movie. Ben reached up and put his arm around my shoulders. I grinned. Well I suppose that answered my question. My heart started beating faster.
"Very smooth," I chided, staring straight ahead at the TV.
"I could take it away if it makes you uncomfortable," he said jokingly, bringing his arm up away from me.
"No it's fine," I answered, grabbing his arm and pulling it back down.
I turned and looked at him, my hand still resting on his. I stared into his warm chestnut eyes. I could feel my breathing increase. Was this it? Were we finally going to rid ourselves of this tension?
Our attention was suddenly directed to the sounds of moaning coming from down the hall.
My head whipped around. "Oh my god, seriously?" I cried. I burst out laughing.
Ben rolled his eyes. I brought my hand down to my lap. "Well that's lovely."
He tried turning the volume on the TV up, but we continued to hear the two of them. I started giggling. "Wow, he must be really good!"
Ben laughed too. "How about we go somewhere we can't hear them. My room is this way," he said, pointing the other direction.
"Yes please!"
We quickly stood up and traveled down the hallway to his bedroom. The floor to ceiling windows continued in there, with a giant California king bed in the middle of the room. His bedding was a sexy dark blue; for some reason, it was exactly what I had pictured. I set my glass down and jumped backward onto it.
"Ooh, this is so comfy!" I smiled, patting the mattress.
"I love my bed," he said, flopping belly first onto it. He looked up sideways at me. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and touched his stubble. There were my drinks kicking in, I thought. His eyes widened briefly before closing. He leaned his head into my touch. I loved how rough it felt.
"I'm sorry, I've just been wanting to do that," I said, pulling my hand away.
He opened his eyes and sat up, leveling himself with me. "No, it's ok," he smiled.
I felt my stomach drop to the floor, and my cheeks start to burn. Ben leaned in closer to me. I closed my eyes, awaiting the touch of his lips.
His kiss hit me like a giant wave rolling onto the beach. He started slowly, as if asking permission. I felt his hand gently grab the back of my head as he pulled me deeper. I moaned softly as I let his tongue enter my mouth. I reached my hand up and touched his rough face again, running my fingers over the tiny prickles of hair. It felt amazing finally giving in to the desires that had built up over the past couple weeks. I scooted backwards, pulling him with me by his shirt. I didn't want to let go for a second.
He laid my back down gently, still kissing me, exploring my mouth. I couldn't get enough. I reached my arms around, digging my fingers into his back, causing him to deepen his kiss. I brought my legs to the sides, resting my feet on the bed with my knees in the air, allowing him to situate himself between them. I felt a dampness form down below as his growing bulge pressed against me. I obviously didn't have a clear picture, but he felt big. God, I wanted to find out for sure. I lifted my hips to meet him as I broke our kiss, opening up my neck for him. He softly kissed and nipped at my neck, causing a low moan to escape my mouth.
I laid, relishing the feel of his soft lips on me, staring up at the ceiling fan. I was slowly being pulled from the moment as a knot started twisting and gnawing in my stomach. Too many thoughts started flooding to the front of my mind. Was this too soon? Was I a rebound to him? What would happen to our friendship after this? I gently pushed his shoulders back.
"Ben, wait." My breathing was ragged. Oh go
d, what the hell was I doing?
"What's wrong, Lacey?" he asked, concern growing in his eyes. I felt terrible; he looked so rejected.
"God, I'm sorry, I just, I don't know," I said, clasping my forehead with my hand. How could I put what I was thinking into words, without sounding like a crazy person?
"What is it?" He put his hand under my chin, bringing my eyes to his.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I just, think we're, maybe going too fast." I shifted my gaze to the side. He sat there quietly. "I'm sorry!"
"Hey, it's ok. I get it," he said, trying to smile. I had a literal ache in my chest.
I brought my eyes up to meet his. "I really liked what we were doing and where we were heading, I just, know we're both a little vulnerable right now. And I don't want to mess up our friendship! You have no idea how much I've loved spending time with you and getting to know you!" I put my hand on his arm, my lame attempt at comfort. God, I really felt awful.
"I've enjoyed it too, Lace. I want you to know that I really do like you, and if a friend is what you need, then I'm willing to be that for you."
"Really?" I asked. How did he always know the perfect thing to say?
"Really." With that, he put his hand on mine, rubbing my knuckles gently. It was amazing how such a small gesture provided so much contentment.
"So how about another sleepover?" I smiled. I hoped he would say yes; I really didn't want to leave him.
"Let's do it. PJ time?" He got up and walked over to his dark wood dresser, pulling open the top drawer. "Is this ok?"
He held up a white undershirt. "Yes, should be perfect," I smiled. I grabbed the shirt from him and headed to the bathroom.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I muttered to myself. I didn't know what was up or down. I had done the right thing, right? We needed to proceed with caution after what we both just went through with our exes.
I groaned, and took off everything but my panties and slid his shirt over my head. It was a little big on me, coming down to just below my ass. I grabbed my pile of clothes and went back into his room. He was there, laying in bed, propped up on his elbow. He turned toward me as I entered.
I walked around the bed and climbed in. I scooched myself backward until I felt him behind me. He wrapped his arms around me, causing my heart to melt. I brought my hand up and laced my fingers with his.
"Good night Lacey," he whispered, his breath warm on my ear.
"Good night Ben," I replied, gently squeezing his hand. He turned off the light, cloaking us in darkness.
Chapter 11
Ben
I slept like absolute shit that night. I could just feel Lacey's warm soft skin next to me. I wanted to touch her, but I knew I couldn't. How would we be in the morning? Would she be awkward with me now? I tossed and turned in the darkness and finally into a troubled sleep.
I woke up the next morning to a tickling sensation on my chest. I swatted my hand up, my eyes still closed. I heard the faint sound of giggling. I slowly began to open my eyes. The sensation started again. I brought my hand up, this time gripping whatever was causing it. Slowly, I was pulled out of sleep.
"Hey let go!" Lacey laughed.
I opened my eyes fully, taking her in. Her eyes looked bright, her hair slightly messy. She laid on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. I let go of my grip.
"Don't ever wake a sleeping bear," I grumbled.
"And why not?" she asked teasingly. She was kicking her legs playfully.
I lay still for a moment.
"Because they could strike back!" I jumped up, tickling her sides.
She erupted with laughter. "Ok, ok, you win!" she cried. I let her go, smiling.
"What time is it?" I asked, glancing toward my clock. Nine a.m., it read.
"Time to get up," she chirped. "I'll go make you breakfast this time."
"You don't have to do that," I said. "I don't have much. Just coffee really."
"I'll go make coffee then," she smiled, making her way toward the door.
"Be careful out there, they might be busy with round two," I smirked.
She laughed as she left the room. I saw the trace of her butt cheek as she walked, causing my groin to stiffen. I groaned. At least we seemed ok for now. But how much longer could we go like this? How much longer could I just be her "friend," when all I wanted was to hold her and kiss her, and admittedly much more with her?
I laid in bed a few moments longer, trying to will myself fully awake, when Lacey came back huffing into the room.
"What's wrong?" I asked, jumping up.
"Nothing, I've just got to go," she said, scurrying to put her clothes on. She didn't bother to go into the bathroom to change. She whipped off the shirt with her back to me. I stared at her naked back as she tried to hook a black lacy bra. She had matching black lace boy shorts on that exposed just the perfect amount of her ass. I wanted to dig my hands into it.
"Lacey, slow down. What happened?" I stood up to walk over to her.
"Nothing, I just have to go," she said adamantly. She threw on her shirt and pants.
I started to panic slightly. What the hell happened? "Come on, please talk to me." I rested my hands on her shoulders, trying to physically calm her.
She let out a sigh. "Why don't you ask your buddy?" she spat, breaking free from me and walking hastily out the door. I stood there dumbfounded. What the fuck had Todd done now? After I heard the front door slam, I threw on a shirt and shorts and walked into the living room. Todd sat there watching TV, eating a bowl of cereal.
"Hey dude," he smiled, apparently oblivious to anything else going on.
"What the fuck, man?" I snapped. His smile left his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked, a drop of milk dribbling down his chin. He used the back of his hand to wipe it away.
"What did you say to Lacey? She came out here and next thing I know, she can't get out the door fast enough."
"Nothing, I just asked if she had a good time last night," he answered, turning his attention back to the TV.
I groaned, rubbing my temples. "And what else?" There's no way she would flip out over just that.
He paused to take a bite. "And if she made sure you yelled out her name instead of Marissa's." He sunk down into his seat. "I'm sorry dude, I was joking. You know me." He tried giving me a goofy grin.
God damn it. "Are you fucking kidding me? What possessed you to say that?" My blood started to boil. "You are such a fucking prick! I'm sure she won't be talking to me again now!"
My heart began to race, hoping she wouldn't hold this against me.
"You're right, it was a dick thing to say, I'm sorry."
I groaned as I turned back toward my bedroom. Fucking Todd, I thought. I wanted to run downstairs and talk to her, but I decided to give her some space. Instead, I went for a run to clear my head and think about all that had happened in the past twelve hours.
********
Lacey
I bolted out the door and hit the button for the elevator. An eerie sense of déjà vu hit me. Why was I always running from men into elevators lately? I rode it down to my floor, trying to catch my breath. That Todd was a jackass.
I headed into my apartment, stripped off my clothes and jumped in the shower. I let the hot water run over me as I tried to sort out my thoughts. Perhaps I had overreacted a little bit, it wasn't like Ben had said it to me. I pictured his concerned face and my heart tightened. I thought back to the night before, how good it felt to kiss him, how much more I wanted to do. I thought about how sweet he had been, saying he could be my friend if that's all I wanted. I cringed, picturing myself running out of his apartment. Ben had never done anything but be incredibly sweet to me, and I had acted like a fucking crazy person.
I shut the water off and wrapped myself in a towel. I resolved that later that night I would go and talk to him, but for now, I had to prepare for my family to come visit. This was the first time my parents and grandparents were coming to see my new place, and they were com
ing at noon. Once I got dressed, I started preparing the food. I set out cheese, crackers, olives, and assorted Italian meats onto platters. I got all the cocktail glasses washed, and fluffed the new cushions on the couch. I stood, surveying the apartment when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it up.
"Ladybug! How are you?" said my grandpa's smiling face, bringing me in for a hug.
"I'm good!" I inhaled his cologne, childhood memories flooding my brain.
"You look terrific!" cried my grandma as she made her way in. "What has it been, two weeks since we saw you?"
"Yeah, just about," I replied. "Hi mom, hi dad."
"Hello sweetie. Love the place!" cried my mom, looking around.
I helped everyone settle in and got them their drinks. It felt odd playing hostess, especially single hostess. We had planned this visit when I was still with Mark, so I had pictured this going slightly differently. Thank goodness my couch came in when it did.
We spent the afternoon just relaxing, eating appetizers and having cocktails. It felt so nice being with my family again. A knock at the door briefly interrupted the conversation. My family all looked at each other.
"Are you expecting anyone Lacey?" my mom asked.
"No," I said, my face scrunched in confusion. I got up and headed to the door. My pulse started to race as I reached for the handle. I knew exactly who was on the other side.
********
Ben
I came back from my run feeling anxious and unsettled. I hated knowing Lacey was upset. I felt like I was already on thin ice with her, and I didn't want this to push her over the edge. I jumped in the shower, and all I could picture was her hand on my face, the feel of her kiss. I knew I needed to see her and make it right.
I got ready quickly and headed out the door to the elevator. We really need to exchange numbers, I thought. I got off on the twelfth floor and knocked on her door. She opened it slightly, a nervous look on her face.
"Hey," she said quickly.
Finally, For Me Page 9
