The Secret Love of a Gentleman

by Jane Lark

  When their carriage pulled level with the portico of the Forths’ town house, a footman opened the door and bent to lower the step, then lifted his hand to Caro. It was raining a light drizzle. Rob stepped down behind her and lifted the hood of her cloak over her hair.

  They climbed the steps ahead of Drew and Mary. Her heart beat steadily and yet it was not unbearable or uncontrollable; she could still breathe. Her fingers did clutch his coat sleeve rather than lie on it, however.

  “You’ll cope. I’m here,” he whispered as they crossed the threshold.

  She nodded. She truly felt as though she would. She did not fear for herself at all any more. Yet there was a sudden churning in her stomach as she faced the receiving line and the ballroom full of people. John and Kate were already, walking into the ballroom with Rob’s parents.

  “Lady Caroline Framlington and Mister Robert Marlow.” The footman introduced them as if the Forths would not know. Caro curtseyed. “Caroline, Robbie,” the Forths acknowledged.

  “It is such a shame Alethea could not have come to town this year,” Robbie commented, “I would have liked to see her make her debut.”

  Lady Forth smiled. “I think she would have come if Henry could be here, despite her illness, when Henry is ready to make his debut at balls then I think Alethea will.”

  “Lord and Lady Framlington!” the butler said behind them as Caro and Rob walked on into the ballroom.

  There were a hundred spinning dancers beneath the thousands of shimmering prisms of light dangling in the chandeliers above them, and the room was crammed with people five deep about its edge. Voices and laughter rose above the notes of the string quartet. The air became close about her.

  People looked at her as she and Rob walked on. “Do you want to dance immediately? If so, it is probably better I do not lead you, as I led you first the other night, but Drew will—”

  “Are you well?” Drew touched her arm.

  Caro looked back. “I would like to dance, I think.”

  He nodded and left Mary to stand with Rob as he took her hand. The music and the need to follow steps captured her errant thoughts and tied them down again, as she held his gaze and forgot about her audience.

  “Kilbride is here,” Drew stated as he passed her in the pattern of the dance.

  “Where?”

  “In the corner, to the left of the door. He is watching you again.”

  She glanced across and her gaze caught his. She looked away. Her heartbeat racing. Why was he watching?

  “Ignore him.”

  Yes, she fully intended to try to, and yet it was disconcerting because for over three years of her life he’d been everything to her. The amber cross resting between her breasts whispered its presence.

  When the dance came to an end, Drew walked her back to where the Pembrokes’ extended family had gathered.

  Rob was speaking with one of his aunts and Mary stood beside her father. He turned and took Caro’s hand, then bowed over it, with an odd expression. “I am thrilled to see you looking so much brighter, Caroline. Ellen and I have both felt for you over the years. I cannot believe the transformation.”

  Heat flared in her cheeks, and that sense of inferiority burned beneath her skin, and yet that was not what he thought, she knew that.

  He let go of her hand. She bobbed a shallow curtsy. “I have conquered my fear, with thanks to your son. Rob helped me in the summer.”

  “I know, Mary told us, and yet I had not imagined it to be so much of a transformation. Congratulations. You have always held my admiration, but now it is far greater. Do you think you might bring yourself to dance with me?”

  “Thank you, yes.” She smiled. Rob’s eyes came from Edward; they were the exact same colour, and Rob’s smile was similar to his father’s too.

  Edward lifted his arm for her to take and led her onto the floor to join a set for a country dance.

  Caro saw Rob join a set too, with one of his female cousins.

  Caro was breathless when the dance ended, yet only from exertion.

  Edward walked her back as Rob walked back too. Rob smiled at her then he looked at Drew as they both returned to where Drew and Mary stood. “Two of your friends are here. Could you ask them to dance with Caro? I think she ought to keep dancing. It makes her feel easier.”

  Drew’s eyebrows lifted and Edward coughed, then laughed before turning away. Rob’s female cousin was speaking with Mary and fortunately had not heard.

  “Rob…” she breathed. It was true and yet it was not his place—

  “Apparently I must be told how to help my sister,” Drew looked at Mary as she finished her conversation and her cousin turned away. “I am to seek out Brooke and ask him to escort Caro in a dance. Will you accompany me? Caro, you ought to stay here among the family.” He looked at Rob. “Surprisingly I am sensible enough to know that.”

  “I have upset him,” Rob said as Drew walked away.

  “I think so, but I am dependent upon him, and he has cared for me since we were young. He thinks of me as his responsibility.”

  Rob smiled as the notes of a waltz began, then he bowed over her hand. “May I have this dance?”

  “Yes.”

  They did not talk as they danced. She just looked into his eyes as he spun her. There was a light in them that spoke of his feelings, as the gentle pressure of his hand at her back did too.

  She smiled.

  “I love you,” he whispered in the last moments of the dance. She could not reply as the music stopped. But she squeezed his forearm once he’d lifted it.

  When he took her back to his family, Drew stood there with Mary and his friend, Lord Brooke.

  “Here is Peter, Caro, fetched as ordered to lead you into a dance.” There was something odd in Drew’s eyes, something that questioned as Peter laughed.

  She offered Peter her hand.

  “I would have come to offer without being ordered, Caro.”

  She smiled at him. She had known Peter since he was fifteen, when he and Drew had left school. “Thank you, Peter. I am grateful.”

  When he led her out to the floor, she asked, “Where is your wife?”

  “With Harry and his wife. You have stolen me away from her, but Harry is minding her until I return, and then I am under orders to take you back there and have Harry dance with you.”

  “You are such loyal friends.”

  He laughed again, and they laughed through a lot of the dance as he joked with her when they passed in the movements.

  When the dance came to end she excused herself. “I need the retiring room, Peter, would you let Harry know? I will be back soon.”

  He nodded and bowed slightly.

  She had to weave through the crowd at the edge of the room to find her way back out to the hall, and then she hurried up to the first floor. Mary’s maid was there.

  Caro hurried back downstairs too. She did not wish to miss the next dance. Rob had been right, she felt much more comfortable when she concentrated on dancing. She pushed her way through those who stood about the edge of room. They were all looking towards the dancing and talking and so it was not easy to find a path.

  Her arm was clasped in a firm hold as she passed through another gap.

  It had been years, and yet she knew. “Albert.”

  “Caro. Will you allow me this dance?”

  He did not bow or show her any respect.

  He did not love me.

  She wished to pull her arm free, but people about them were watching. His grip pulled her from the crowd and out onto the floor. It was a waltz.

  She shivered as his arm came about her, a dozen memories of his hand lifting to strike her scattering through her head. She swallowed against the feelings tying up in her chest. It was not fear, it was another echo of her broken heart.

  His hand held hers, in the firm, possessive way he had of touching her, and then he turned her. The scent of his cologne dragged her back through the years.

  “That young boy
you came in with is staring at you. Is there something between the two of you?”

  He was talking as though he was still her husband—as though he had a right to judge those who danced with her. He did not.

  She looked into his brown eyes. There was no depth, none of the open emotion that she saw in Rob’s eyes.

  “Is there?” Albert pressed.

  She shook her head, as heat rose in her skin.

  “Who is he? Is he one of Wiltshire’s sons? He must be one of the Pembrokes. But which line?” A threat hung in his tone. God knew she was used to that pitch. It sent tremors dancing up her spine.

  She swallowed against the dryness in her throat, and yet if she was to keep Rob from this, it was better for her to speak. “He is the younger brother of my sister-in-law, and they are all watching you, not just him.”

  He said nothing for a moment, watching her as she looked about the room, while he turned her. It was true, all of Rob’s family watched.

  She hoped they realised she had not chosen this.

  Her heart raced.

  “You are looking beautiful, Caro, but then you always did.” Her gaze spun to Albert. There was still no sentiment in his eyes. Perhaps even in the beginning it had just been words.

  But the increased pulsing of her heart was not all fear. He still had a harsh handsomeness. The intensity in his looks still wrapped a charm around her. Other memories crept into her heart, of their moments in bed—the moments in which he had convinced her he cared.

  “You are not interested in that boy, are you? You could have me back, Caro, if you wished.”

  She gasped, and he looked down at her bosom as it pressed against her dress, then his gaze lifted and hesitated on the amber cross before lifting to look into her eyes. “You always did enjoy bed sport.”

  Colour burned beneath her skin. That he knew made it sordid.

  “You could become my mistress and we could be as we were—”

  “Congratulations on the birth of your son.” Caro looked away as he turned her. “Is the Marchioness here?”

  He leant close to her ear, his hand sliding a little further across her back. An image of him leaning over her, shouting in her face thrust into her mind.

  “She is in the card room. She does not trouble herself over my paramours.”

  “I am glad you found a wife who gave you the son you wished for.”

  “I have a dull wife, who provides sons but does not warm my bed. You knew how to please me there.”

  She swallowed against the dryness in her throat. She wished to run. “But I was never enough. Leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you.”

  She looked beyond Albert’s shoulder, at Rob. He stood at the front of his family group, with his arms folded over his chest. He was ready to move if Albert hurt her. He would risk everyone knowing his feelings. She could see it. He was her dark angel. His dark-blue eyes flashed a warning of retribution.

  Albert spun her sharply. She looked back at the man who was more like a devil. His eyes stared into hers for understanding. He was looking for ways to persuade her to let him back into her bed.

  She was not a fool; nothing would succeed. She did not love him any more.

  What they’d had had been flawed and broken from the start, and now it was past. For the first time she felt truly free of him. She did not love him, she loved Rob more than she had ever loved Albert.

  When the music ceased Albert let her go and stepped back, then bowed formally, as though it had merely been a conciliatory dance. The eyes watching them followed him when he walked away.

  Her hands trembled as she turned to leave the floor. But pride raged within her regardless. She had danced with him and held her head high, and he had begged her for her return, and she had rejected him. She clasped her hands together to hide their shaking. She longed to walk to Rob, but the whole room would notice it and think it odd, and so she walked to Drew.

  Tears gathered in her throat in the aftermath of the storm, they hurt as if Albert’s hand clasped her neck and tried to stop her from breathing and the amber necklace at her throat burned into her skin. Yet beneath that turmoil of emotion was still the pride in herself that she had faced him and withstood.

  But she still now felt a need for some air and solitude, and yet she would not walk from the room and let Albert think he had chased her from society. She had returned and she was not going to let him think he had scared her away.

  Drew’s fingers caught her elbow as soon as she reached the group, and he steered her further away from the floor amongst the family. They surrounded her as if to provide a curtain of privacy.

  “Do you wish to leave?” Drew whispered. She leaned on his grip, and his strength, because for the moment she had none.

  “No, I have to stay. I will not let him think he has made me run, nor let him see he can disturb me. I have to dance and make it look as though all is well.”

  “Refreshments, then.” He’d slipped back into the fiercely protective Drew of years ago.

  She nodded.

  The Pembroke family cleared a path for them as they walked out, and then walked about the edge of the floor. Eyes all about the room traced her movements. She sensed Rob’s over them all. Drew led her to a table filled with glasses of champagne, and she took one from a footman. The glass trembled as she lifted it to her lips, trying to stand stiffly and appear as though she and Drew were merely taking a rest from the dancing.

  “I’m sorry I was not watching.”

  “You could have done nothing. He stopped me when I returned from the withdrawing room. I should not have gone alone.”

  Her eyes looked past Drew’s shoulder. Rob walked into the room, but he was not alone, he was with his father and Mary. Yet beyond him there were dozens of people walking through.

  It had been the supper dance.

  “May we sit?” she whispered, terrified her legs would give way.

  Drew’s fingers held her arm again. “Come.” He nodded at Mary as she walked closer. She smiled as they turned to occupy a table for them all.

  “Forgive me. I am still a little shaky,” she said to Mary as she sat down. Then she looked up. Rob’s eyes were pools of concern. He longed to take her away and speak to her, and offer comfort, she could see it there.

  “I will fetch you something to eat, Caro. Mary.” Drew touched Caro’s shoulder.

  “I’ll come with you and help carry the plates.” Rob stated.

  “I will fetch you something to eat, Ellen.” Edward withdrew a chair for Ellen.

  It was as if they had all been shaken up.

  Sipping her champagne, Caro watched the entrance to the room, but Albert did not come in and nor did his wife.

  “I think Kilbride has gone. I’ve not seen him,” Drew said when he sat down beside her, and put a plate before her. Rob gave a plate to Mary then sat down opposite Caro.

  Mary and her mother began talking of the children, sweeping aside what had happened.

  When Caro had eaten half her food, Rob’s Uncle Richard strode across the room to their table and leant down. “Kilbride has gone.”

  Relief swept through her, even though Richard had probably made things worse if he had forced Albert to go.

  She looked at Rob. He smiled at her, his eyebrows lifting to say, are you well?

  She shook her head slightly. She longed to go and if Albert was not here it would not matter if she left. She turned to Drew as the notes of a country dance began. “Would you dance with me now, and then ask Rob to take me home?”

  “I will, but I will take you home, Caro.”

  “I do not wish to spoil Mary’s evening; she rarely has the chance to see her parents. Rob will not mind.”

  Drew’s hazel eyes gained a dozen leagues in depth, but then he stood and walked to the other side of the table. He pressed a hand on Rob’s shoulder and leant to his ear. Then he returned and lifted his hand for her to take.

  “You cannot leave with Rob alone,” he stated through the edge
of his lips as they walked to the floor, we will all leave. Mary and I will come with the two of you. If you left with Rob alone, people would notice you both gone and come to other conclusions.”

  She swallowed against the bitter lump in her throat at his harsh warning, and yet, of course, he was right.

  At the end of the dance they walked over to Rob’s family and said their goodbyes. Rob was not amongst them.

  Then Drew walked across the room with her and Mary to say goodnight to the Forths.

  She curtseyed and told them not to worry when they apologised about Albert. Then she walked out into the hall. For the first time in an hour Caro felt able to breathe. Rob was there. He held her cloak in his hands as a footman held Mary’s.

  He smiled at her, a smile that said, how are you? Once more.

  Better now I am close to you.

  His hands trembled as he set her cloak on her shoulders, and when she turned to take his arm there was another look in his eyes, a look she had often seen in Drew’s—a burning need to protect and defend.

  Chapter 27

  In the carriage ride home, Drew offered to drop Rob at his apartment, but he declined. His heart still hit against his ribs in a sharp rhythm. He would not be able to sleep unless he had a chance to speak with Caro.

  Anger seethed in his blood. It was difficult not to clench his hands into fists. He wished he could have walked onto that floor and thrown a fist at Kilbride, several fists. Yet he was angry with himself too. Why had he not been watching?

  Caro’s thigh was near his and he could feel her trembling still.

  Why had he not been close enough to prevent it?

  “I’m sorry, Caro.” Drew stated. “I should have been looking and ensured you came back to Mary.”

  “I’m sorry too,” Rob stated. “If I had seen him approach you, I would have stopped him.”

  Drew made a low sound of frustration in the back of his throat.

  “It was no one’s fault,” Caro answered.

  “How did he get hold of you?” Drew asked.

  “I left Peter to use the retiring room and when I returned Albert was in my path. When I passed through the crowd, he caught a hold of my arm. I could not extricate myself without causing a scene, and neither of you could have gripped my other arm and begin a tug of war.” She glanced at Rob, then looked at Drew.