The Secret Love of a Gentleman

by Jane Lark

  “Robbie!” His sisters, Helen and Jenny, squealed, stood and ran at him.

  “Steady,” he urged them as their arms wrapped about his middle.

  “Congratulations,” Kate said to Caro.

  “Thank you.”

  Rob’s mother, Ellen, came forward and gripped both of Caro’s hands. “Are you happy? But of course you must be, you came to town. I assume you must have come to speak with Robbie.”

  Caro nodded as the heat of a blush flooded her cheeks. It was not the normal way of things.

  “I am more than pleased for you, son.” His father embraced Rob as the girls wished Caro well.

  The Duke stood before Rob, holding out his hand, as Rob’s father took hers.

  “Caroline. I am thrilled,” he said quietly. “I have thought you a part of our family for a long time, and so I shall not say welcome. I shall be very glad to think of you as a daughter.”

  “This ought not to be a surprise, I suppose,” John said to them both, “after the two of you formed such a friendship in the summer. But I am still surprised.”

  Rob settled an arm about her shoulders.

  “Robbie let Caroline take her bonnet off and come and sit down, you look peaked, Caroline.” Ellen smiled at her.

  Rob’s arm slid from her shoulders, and he turned to pull the ribbons of her bonnet loose as she looked at him. Then he lifted her bonnet from her head and passed it to the footman, who had taken his hat, before beginning to unbutton her cloak.

  There were four buttons across her chest and he struggled with them a little, as though his right hand was stiff. He slid her cloak off and passed it to the footman.

  Her hand hovered near her stomach, afraid someone might notice the slight curve.

  “Helen, would you ring for tea and ask for some warm chocolate too? I think Caroline is in need of a little sustenance.” Rob’s mother requested. “What time did you set out, Caroline?”

  “At seven. But I took tea in a shop, while I was waiting to see Rob.”

  He sighed, as though he felt responsible for her having not eaten luncheon.

  Caro breathed deeply. Rob held her hand. “May we sit?” he said quietly. His limp was much more pronounced when he began to walk. She felt as though she ought to help him.

  They sat next to each other on a sofa.

  “Mama, you will have to help us. We wish to be married as soon as possible. I am postponing my journey to Yorkshire and I would like the wedding to take place in St George’s.”

  “Then you will have to speak with the vicar, and the banns must be read.”

  Rob looked at Caro. “I will speak with him tomorrow, before I take you home.”

  “Yes.”

  “Kate, I have made a presumption. Caro was due to travel back by mail coach. She has already missed it, I’m afraid. Would you mind finding a room for her here?”

  “Of course! She will be welcome. I shall ask Finch to let the housekeeper know and have a room made ready, and another place laid for dinner.”

  “I’m sorry. I have nothing to wear for dinner.”

  “Never mind, there are only a few of us, we may be informal. It will not be the first time,” John stated, smiling at her. Then he looked at Rob.

  They wished her out of the room. They wanted to speak to Rob alone and discover the truth about the sudden engagement. She wished she had insisted on going home.

  “Will you have bridesmaids?” Georgiana asked.

  “I think not, we will be planning everything in a hurry so that we might travel to Rob’s new property. I’m sorry.”

  “You need not be sorry,” Rob said, his hand reaching out to hold hers.

  She smiled at him. She would rather be alone with him too.

  “Here is some chocolate,” his mother stated as she brought some over from a tray a maid had delivered.

  Caro took it, her cheeks warm, as pain stabbed at her heart. She felt as though she’d snuck up like a thief to steal Rob from them, having hidden in the heart of their family for years.

  ~

  Caro retired early, rising from the dinner table and excusing herself, too early for Rob to follow without it looking wrong, and once she’d retired, Kate, his mother and sisters rose to leave Rob, his father and John to their port.

  “She came to you…” His father stated as soon as the women had gone.

  “Yes. She was waiting for me at my apartment.”

  “You had no idea.”

  “No.” Rob’s heart beat out a sharp rhythm, while discomfort leaned heavily on his shoulders. He had not wholly adjusted to the reason she’d been waiting for him. He wished to speak with her…A child… “But this is what I wished for. You know it is.”

  “Yes,” his father sighed, “although I had not imagined it to be so immediate. But we shall be happy for you, and supportive.”

  John smiled broadly. “Mama will love it. She, at last, has a wedding to plan. She was deprived by Mary and I.”

  Rob laughed, but it had a bitter note. He did not think his mother would be so happy when the news was out that he would be a father in mere months. Perhaps he would tell them after the wedding, and let her live in happy ignorance until he and Caro left for Yorkshire.

  He swallowed his port.

  “You are still so young,” his father said, “at least when John surprised us he was older. Yet you have common sense in droves, and I shall trust in that.” His father leaned across to top up Rob’s glass. They had dispensed with servants, so the conversation would remain private.

  Rob covered the glass with his hand. “No, I will retire. Which room is Caro in, John?”

  “Your Mama would be horrified if she heard you ask that question,” his father answered.

  “I only wish to speak with her. I want to ensure she is not distressed. It will have been difficult for her this evening.”

  “The second floor, on the right, the third door along,” John responded.

  Rob rose and nodded at them both, before turning to walk out.

  “It had better only be to talk!” his father shouted.

  Rob turned and smiled. “It is none of your business.”

  John laughed.

  Rob wished for the flexibility in his leg to be able to easily jog upstairs, in case someone came, but he did not have it, and so he painfully and slowly climbed the stairs and found his way to her door. Then he knocked quietly, “Caro.”

  “Rob…”

  “May I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  She’d left a candle burning by the bed, but she was in bed, and the covers were tucked up beneath her chin. She rolled to her side looking at him.

  “How are you?”

  A worried sound slipped past her lips. “Tired, but I cannot sleep.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I am so hopeful and yet so scared.”

  He crossed the room to be near her. “What are you worried over?”

  “That I will lose the child and that when your family find out about it they will dislike me.”

  “You need not worry over my family. The blame will be put on me.”

  “It will not. Even Drew guessed that I had begun this, because you are too decent.”

  Rob laughed. “Except that that is not true. You did not force me into anything, Caro.”

  She smiled at last, slightly. It was the first true smile he’d seen from her today. At the beginning of the summer that was all he’d wished for—to see her smile, dance and laugh. Look what it had become.

  “May I share your bed? It will feel lonely if I sleep in my own. All I wish for is to hold you.”

  She nodded, her plaited hair brushing over the linen.

  He began unbuttoning his evening coat.

  “You look very handsome in dinner dress. I have missed seeing you wear it.”

  He smiled. “I have missed you in every setting.”

  When he wore only his shirt, he snuffed out the candle and then lifted the covers to join her beneath them. The shee
ts were cold, but Caro was warm. She turned her back to him, and so he lay close behind her and put his arm about her, his hand resting against her stomach, to find hers there, as though it cradled the child.

  He kissed the spot behind her ear, then whispered. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Chapter 40

  When Caro woke, Rob had gone. She rolled to her other side and smelled the pillow he’d slept on, his cologne had seeped into it.

  She rose and called for a maid to help her dress, so she might break her fast with the family. Rob was not at the table when she entered the room. She looked at the clock. It was almost twelve. She had not slept so soundly for months.

  “Rob went out riding,” his father stated.

  It was only his father and mother there. They’d finished eating and were drinking coffee. Perhaps they’d been waiting for her.

  “Sit down and eat, Caroline,” his mother encouraged.

  They talked of her new cottage, not Rob. She’d assumed they were angry, but they did not seem to be.

  A rush of cold air swept into the room when the door was opened, and Rob was there, still in his outdoor clothes, which carried the scent of the cold winter air. He walked forward. “I have spoken to the vicar, Caro, the first banns will be read this Sunday. They must be read three times and then we are to be married the following Tuesday. I have also posted an announcement in the paper, which will appear tomorrow, advising the world of our engagement.”

  He looked at his father. “I have sent word to let Uncle Robert know he may travel without me. Caro and I will follow later.”

  “Do you think he would leave and miss the wedding? He would not. He will not travel himself when he hears. Your mother and I will call on him today. You are keeping us all in London for an age, Robbie.”

  He smiled. “Caro, when you are ready, we’ll leave. I wish to call into Drew’s before taking you home.”

  “I am ready now. I’ll fetch my bonnet and cloak.” She rose.

  “Is that coffee warm, Mama?”

  “Yes.”

  “I shall drink a cup then while I wait for you to come back, Caro.”

  She smiled when she left the room. She felt as though she’d seen through a window into a future that was now possible for her. Her parents’ home had not been like this, nor had her marriage with Albert, and yet her marriage with Rob might include quiet, companionable breakfasts and family dinners.

  She felt the same about her marriage as she did about her child: hopeful, excited and yet equally afraid, although she could not even say why she was afraid about her marriage.

  Perhaps it was only because they had not really had a chance to talk.

  ~

  When Rob drove up to the front of Drew’s house he was suffering from the events of the last hours, shock had settled on his shoulders like a cloak. They had driven out of London in silence, mostly. He hadn’t known what to say. He was to be a father, not only a husband. It did not seem real. Yet Caro sat beside him as testimony to the fact that those hours had occurred. He’d not dreamt them.

  It was a physical pain to think that she’d known all this time and not spoken, and yet he’d never thought to ask, and so he bore his own guilt.

  He’d called at his club after visiting the vicar, only for a few moments, but he’d wished to see his friends before they discovered his whereabouts through an announcement in the paper.

  Their disbelief had echoed within him as exclamations rang. “You are too young to hang yourself in a parson’s noose.”

  “But I have heard Kilbride’s first wife was a beauty.”

  “You are insane, Rob.”

  “I’ve never seen her, but I have heard she is outstanding.”

  “I remember the rumours about her when we were at school. How the hell did you win her?”

  “The most notorious beauty in London when we were at school”

  “She is still a beauty,” Rob had informed them, with a smile.

  And now he was here to officially ask for her hand in marriage, when the marriage was already arranged.

  He handed his reins off to the groom and then slipped down unsteadily. He still could not jump, it jarred his bad leg if he did.

  He walked about the curricle, and held Caro’s hand as she climbed down.

  Behind him the door opened.

  “Caro, Rob…” It was Drew himself, with George in his arms.

  “Aun’ie Caro! Uncle Bobbie!” George’s arms stretched out. Caro covered the distance to him quickly and took George from his father, hugging him tightly. His arms wrapped about her neck and he hugged her too.

  In a year, their child would be in her arms.

  George turned and held his arms out to Rob.

  “I am still not healed, George. I may hold you but if I hold you I cannot walk, my legs are still not up to carrying two.”

  “Come here, rascal.” Drew took George back from Caro.

  “Where is Mary?” Caro asked

  “Feeding, she will be down in a moment. But, more importantly, why are you here?” He looked from Caro to Rob. “Together…”

  “I wish to speak to you alone, if I may?”

  “That all sounds very formal, Rob.” Drew put George down. “George, take Auntie Caro up to the nursery to show her your new soldiers.”

  George grinned and gripped Caro’s hand, then began pulling her away.

  Rob felt a fool. It was far too late for this conversation, but it was the right thing to do.

  Drew gave him a nod and lifted a hand, encouraging Rob to go in. “The library…” He suggested when they entered the hall.

  “Will Uncle Bobbie play later?” George asked Caro as they climbed the stairs.

  “I’m sure he will,” Caro answered.

  Rob’s heart played the beat of drum as he turned to the library, thinking of their child again.

  Drew shut the door behind them. Rob turned to face him. He’d thought Drew his friend, but in town he’d advised Caro to dispose of Rob and his youthful affection.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m here to ask you for your agreement to me marrying Caro.”

  Drew’s eyebrows shot up. “Where has this come from?”

  “I know you know we were together in the summer. Caro has told me what you said. You were wrong. I can support her and I wish to do so. I had John’s allowance, but now I also have the tenancy.”

  “I know you can support her, that was never my complaint.” Drew leant his buttocks back against the table and gripped its rim. “But you are one and twenty, it is young to settle—”

  “Yes, but that is my choice, and her choice.” Rob felt as though his heart was in his throat, choking him. It would be important to Caro that Drew understood.

  Drew sighed. “I’m aware that Caro has an attachment to you. I know her feelings, but there is an age difference, and I would not see her hurt. What if, in a year or two, you change your mind about the direction you have chosen for your life?”

  “I will not. I have never been fickle. I do not intend to become so.”

  “Are you certain this is what you want?”

  “It is what we want.”

  “Then why not wait for a year or two, as I advised Caro? You would then know for certain and there would be no risk.”

  “Why can you not believe that I know my own heart and mind now?”

  Drew sighed out a breath and gripped the back of his neck with both hands, but then he laughed as his hands fell. “Very well. Probably because I am thinking of myself and my own family and I am not used to the understanding and the depth of feeling within yours.”

  “I am marrying Caro, Drew. With respect, I am merely asking in order to be polite. You cannot actually say no to me.”

  Drew laughed again. “And so you have my blessing. I know you can make her happy and keep her happy.”

  Rob nodded. I will keep her happy. It was a mental oath

  Drew straightened. “We had better go up to
the drawing room. Mary will hate to be the last to know your news.”

  “I’m afraid she is. Caro has spent the night in town at John’s. He and Kate and Mama and Papa know. The announcement will be in the paper tomorrow. The wedding will be at St George’s, Tuesday, four weeks hence.”

  “There is no time for me to adjust to the idea, then, and Mary shall hate you for not having told her your plans first. Especially when it is my sister you have chosen.”

  Rob smiled.

  When they climbed the stairs Drew asked Rob more about the estate he was leasing.

  “The mansion that accompanies it is quite large. Caro will be comfortable there, I’m sure.”

  Drew nodded as they walked into the drawing room. “I’ll send a maid up and ask Caro to bring George back down. I’m sure Mary will come down as soon as she is able.”

  When the maid arrived, Drew turned. “We will have tea and cake, Molly, and would you ask Lady Caroline to come down from the nursery, and George may come too. We have something to celebrate.”

  “If I leave Caro here, would you and Mary bring her to town in a fortnight, so she will have time to buy everything she needs for the wedding?”

  “Of course. I will write to John in the morning. I take it he is there.”

  “He is, as are Mama and Papa.” Rob did not mention why.

  “Uncle Bobbie!” George’s cry rang out, as he turned the corner and ran into the room, and then straight into Rob’s legs, to hug him.

  Pain seared up Rob’s leg. “Ah, George. Be a little careful. You scoundrel.”

  “He’s missed you,” Caro said, looking at Rob with worry in her eyes.

  “Let me sit down, then, and I will hold you.” Rob took his hat off.

  “Give it to me,” Caro took it. “I will take it to the footman, and let me take your coat.”

  She had noticed how difficult Rob was finding things. It made him embarrassed.

  “Now you may sit down and play with me, George.”

  “On the floor.”

  “On the sofa. I cannot get up and down from the floor yet. Give me a couple of months.”

  A footman was at the door and Caro passed over Rob’s things, then turned back. Rob looked up at her.

  “I have two of his new soldiers in my pocket. I brought them down for him to show you, so you do not have to climb two flights of stairs.” She held them out and came to give them to him, as George pressed a hand on Rob’s bad leg.