by Kari Trumbo
“Did you look out your window to see, or did you just run?” Penny started hard into Lillian’s eyes.
“I didn’t take the time to look. I just grabbed my shawl and ran.”
“So you could have missed someone leaving the shop. Josiah could be telling the truth.”
“But what about the gun, Penny? He holstered it as I was coming in. I saw him.” Lillian stood up and turned away.
Penny rubbed her shoulder, she could feel the rhythm of her heart beating through the layers of fabric. “What if he had the gun out to try to protect me…but didn’t shoot in time?”
“What if horses had wings? We’d all need stronger parasols.” Lillian stomped her foot. “Just please stop this. Either you think he’s guilty or you think he’s innocent, but don’t argue it out with me. I know what I saw. Perhaps you should pray about it and go talk to Josiah. If you are so sure he is innocent, go see him.”
“I know you’re trying to protect me by acting this way and forgive me for saying this, but you sound like your mother, Lily. Please go.”
Lillian gasped and clutched the throat of her dress. “I can’t believe you would say that.” Her eyes shown bright with the tears she tried to blink away.
“Goodbye, Lillian. I’ll come find you later.” Penny looked away, now wishing she’d held her tongue.
Lillian rushed from the room and a pang of guilt struck Penny. Lillian’s mother had been horrible and unloving her entire life. She was certain she’d wounded Lillian deeply, and for that she was sorry, but Lillian also needed to let her figure out her feelings and memories on her own instead of pushing her thoughts on Penny. If only she could remember.
Chapter Six
Penny’s arm ached from the lack of movement. She wanted to reach and stretch but the doctor had warned her against it, saying she’d been lucky that the bullet had gone clean through and somehow didn’t manage to touch any bone. A miracle, he’d called it. She twisted her wrist in a vain attempt to relieve the need to move. A pain shot down her arm and into her fingers.
“Blast it.” She clenched her fist. She’d been all but helpless since coming home. Her mother had to help her dress and do everything but eat. She wanted to go visit the chapel on the edge of town, but that would mean asking for help getting her hat on, yet again.
Penny frowned and picked a light colored hat, taking the stairs slowly to avoid jarring her arm.
“Mother? Can you help me pin this hat so I can go visiting?” she called into the kitchen.
Sarah Hanover appeared and took the hat from her hand. “Has the doctor said when you might be free of this wrap?” she asked.
“I must wear it for a month, so another three weeks.” Penny gingerly pulled her glove on her left hand without moving her arm, and then wiggled her fingers into the right while she pulled slowly with the left, determined to do at least that much by herself.
“Where are you going?” Sarah asked “Do you have anyone to go with you?”
“I’m just going to the chapel, Mama. I’m sure Lillian will be there. We had a quarrel a few days ago, and I need to make it right with her.”
“Please do. I really think she does want you to get better; she is just protective of you. She had to grow up fast in that house. I couldn’t believe when she told us all of what she went through.”
Penny nodded. “I won’t be out long.”
Softly padding down the front steps, she gasped and halted. A figure appeared from behind a bush at the corner of their property.
Beau came around the large shrub and smiled before he looked at the ground. “I’m sorry, Miss Hanover. I didn’t mean to startle you. I live about two houses behind you and I always cut through the back yards to get to the street.”
“My goodness, Beau. You sure know how to keep life interesting for such a quiet fellow.”
“Can I walk you somewhere? I don’t mind. I’m not working right now. Been staying close to home because my Pa ain’t feeling well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Penny mused that she’d heard more from Beau in the last week than she had in her life before that. Perhaps he was coming out of his shell a bit. “Yes, I’m just headed to the chapel to sit and think. The chapel is a good place for that.”
“What are you going there to think about?” He offered his arm.
Penny smiled at him and her heart again thumped wildly in her chest. “I’m… going there to pray and to see if I can remember anything about the night I was shot. Everyone in town seems to think that Josiah tried to kill me. Maybe I just need to get over my fear of seeing him. Maybe that would make all the missing memories come back.”
“He’d sure like a visit, I’m sure.” Beau led her down the street and the silence became awkward. He frowned. “Isn’t it scary, living with a piece of your life missing?” He looked down at her with something akin to adoration.
“It is. You might think this is strange, but my mother made dinner the night I came home from the doctor’s. She said it was my favorite dish. Before I tried it, I sat there wondering if it really was or not. I couldn’t say exactly what my favorite meal was. That is just a bit of it, though. The part that scares me the most is Josiah. What if he’s innocent and I’ve just let him sit there?”
“Do you think he is?” Beau stopped their progress and waited. His deep, dark eyes took in her whole face.
“I want to believe he is, but I just can’t remember what happened.”
He shook his head. “You mean you can’t remember that night and what happened? Nothing?”
“I remember starting to close up the shop. A week ago I remembered a bright terrifying light. That is all. I don’t remember Josiah being there at all.”
“Oh, he was there…”
“What?” She turned to fully face Beau. “You were there? Has the sheriff spoken to you?”
He shifted on his feet and looked toward the chapel. “No, he hasn’t. I don’t think the sheriff realized I was back in town.”
Penny dropped her voice and leaned forward. “Well, what did you see?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Hanover. I’ve got to get back to my father. Can I get you the rest of the way to the chapel?”
“No. I think I can get there myself. Thank you.” She reached with her left hand and pulled her skirts so they swished away from him. No wonder that man was still single. How strange he acted!
Penny pulled on the heavy wooden door and leaned against it so it wouldn’t slam and invade the quiet. She found Lillian alone in the chapel sitting at the desk in the back. Padding softly over, she didn’t want to disturb her writing.
“Lillian?” she whispered softly.
Lillian looked up and her eyes softened, but she didn’t smile.
“I’m sorry about what I said. I wanted you to stop trying to feed my memories of Josiah. I have to remember on my own, but it wasn’t right of me to be so cruel in my words. Can you forgive me?”
Lillian stood and wrapped her in an embrace. “Of course. What brings you down to the chapel today?”
Penny looked at her feet. “I’ve always found this the best place to think. It’s almost as if the questions you ask go directly to the throne from in here.”
“They do that no matter where you are.” Lillian smiled and turned back to her chair.
“I’ll let you get back to your work. I’ll be in the front.” Penny backed away a few steps and turned as Lillian sat and dabbed her quill in the ink to begin again.
Penny sat in the front pew and looked at the cross hanging in the front of the church. She closed her eyes. The scratching of the quill behind her and the distant noise of the bustling little town faded away. She remembered wiping the counter and tables, but was that the night of the shooting or some other night? Lord, help me to understand what has happened. Is the man I’m supposed to love the one who tried to kill me? She tried to picture the shop once again. A man came in and sat down. He smiled and spoke, though his words sounded muffled as if she had cotton in her ears.
Her skin prickled in apprehension. He was handsome with dark hair. Though he was dusty, the long dimples on his face made her smile. No doubt about it, but something about him raised her awareness.
She concentrated on the man, trying to figure out who he was when the door to the shop opened again and two men came in, one angry. The other slid in along the back wall, unnoticed. The angry man yelled something and pulled a gun. A bright light pinpointed at the center of her vision and spread until it overwhelmed her. Her eyes flung open and she shook from head to toe. Lillian sat at her side.
“Penny. Penny! Calm yourself! People are going to come running if you keep yelling like that.”
Penny clutched Lily’s hand. “I don’t think Josiah shot me. But I don’t know for sure.” She looked up at Lillian, trying to get her shaking under control. “I wish I could describe the three men that just took over my head.”
She pulled back her hand and pushed her thumbs into her temples. “I’m losing the memory. I can’t picture their faces anymore.” She shook her head. “This is all so frustrating. I need to go talk to the sheriff.” Penny stood and the church swirled around her, dropping her back into the pew.
“Penny, please. Let your memory come back a little more. Obviously this took a lot out of you. Let me get you home to rest.”
“But if Josiah is innocent, he shouldn’t be in the jail. Please, Lillian, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and consider for just a minute that he isn’t the one, can you?”
Lillian’s mouth turned down. “I’m willing to listen. I’m sorry, Penny. I just want what is best for you and the idea of you marrying someone who may have tried to kill you terrifies me. You are my closest friend. I don’t know what I would do without you and James.”
“I know.” Penny swept the whole church in a glance. “But, in matters of my heart, I’m going to ask you to trust me. Please, help me get to the jail. I think I’m finally ready to set my eyes on Josiah.”
Chapter Seven
Josiah closed his eyes. Only five more days until the judge came to convict him. Since they hadn’t even looked for anyone else, the chance of them finding the guilty party was slim. The door opened and a fresh breeze tickled his growing facial hair. He hadn’t been allowed a razor to shave and he now had quite a bit more growth on his face than he normally kept. It wouldn’t matter much. If he weren’t out by tomorrow, he’d lose everything he’d worked the last months to build and he wouldn’t be a fit husband for Penny anyway.
“Mr. Williams?” Penny’s voice sounded like a song to his ears after the last few weeks.
He leapt from his cot and reached through the bars for her. She jumped back for the door, her beautiful green eyes a mask of fright and…unfamiliarity?
Lillian stepped forward in front of Penny. “Josiah. Lillian has lost her memory of that night and of you. Completely. She cannot remember you or your family at all.” Lillian turned and looked at Penny, drawing her forward. “She had a moment of remembrance in the chapel and she hoped that by seeing you, she would remember that night more clearly.”
He cleared his throat. “I had worried that she truly thought I’d shot her. So, the truth is, you can’t remember who shot you.” He shook his head. “Please, my pretty Penny, you’ve got to know that I would never hurt you.” He pulled his arm back in and clung to the bars. “Do you recognize me?” He willed her to see him under the mass of hair growing on his face hiding the familiar.
Penny squinted at him. She took a step closer, but not close enough. She hung back as if terrified he might find a way to jump through the bars and get her. The feeling tore at something deep within him and he groaned, letting his forehead hit the bars.
“You look a little like one of the men in my vision at the church. But not enough that I could swear to it. The first man was clean shaven. He had kind eyes and smiled at me. He spoke to me as if he knew me quite well. All three of the men were covered in white dust. Probably from the stage, but I’m only guessing. We hadn’t had rain in a long while. I could tell nothing about them except that they were dirty. One of them pulled his gun on me.”
The door shut behind them and both women jumped. Penny shrieked and he jumped toward the bars, wanting to comfort her.
“Miss Lily, Miss Penny, what brings you down here on this fine day?” Sheriff Brentwood pulled up his belt and sat behind his desk.
Lillian again stepped forward. “Penny believes that it is possible Josiah Williams is innocent. She has had a slight return of her memory. She believes there were actually three men in the shop that night, not just Josiah.”
Sheriff Brentwood scratched his chin and looked at Josiah. He pulled a key from his belt. “You’ve insisted from the get-go that there was another man there. Mable Connor says there was more than one. I can’t keep you here with another person adding to your testimony. I do ask that you not leave town before the judge comes on Friday, though.”
“What about my business, Sheriff? It’s suffered these last few weeks.” He scratched at the rough hair on his face.
“Nope. Sorry, son. You best stay close by. I can’t be putting a posse together to find you, and it doesn’t help you look innocent.”
Josiah stepped outside the cell for the first time in so many days he’d lost count. He looked down at the face of his beloved. Her fingertips covered her mouth. Her bare hand shook in fear, the naked ring finger revealing her true thoughts.
“Oh, my Penny. I’ll make all of this right. I just hope you can see that, and soon.” He stepped around her. Seeing panic in her eyes on account of him was too much. He stepped out into the sun and squinted at the bright light. First on his list was to get home and get cleaned up, and then a shave. No matter what the sheriff said, he had a delivery to make tonight. If he did it right, they’d never know he was gone. If he played his cards well, he might even figure out who shot his darling Penny. Heaven help them, because he had no intention to wait for the judge to exact justice.
~~~
Penny pushed the porch swing back and let it swing forward. The slight breeze from the motion felt good on her damp temples. Rare was the day the weather got hot enough in the fall to make it uncomfortable, but this was one of them.
A handsome man stopped at the base of the stairs to their house just off the main street and leaned on the railing around the porch. Her heart sped in her chest. The slight breeze played with the soft curls around his chiseled jaw. He smiled, and the dimples she remember from her vision softened his face.
“Miss Hanover, are you having a pleasant evening?”
She smiled at his willingness to start over. Although he looked completely different from a few hours past, Josiah Williams’s voice rumbled right down to her soul and sent a shiver down her spine.
“I am, Mr. Williams. What brings you by?” She rested her hand on her knee and he frowned slightly at it. She held her hand up and looked at it. “I miss it. You know? But it seems so strange to wear the engagement ring of a man I don’t yet know.” She blushed, knowing she should not only know him, but love him. She wondered briefly if they’d ever shared secret moments or stolen kisses. Her gaze shifted to his lips. They turned up and she realized he’d noticed where her gaze had wandered.
“You don’t remember me at all? Our long walks or our talk of marriage, family, children…none of it?” He grasped the rails of the porch, much like he had the bars a few hours prior.
“I’m sorry. I want to. You have to believe me. I want to know who I am and who you are. I want to know who destroyed my memory and our lives.”
“I could tell you. I already told the sheriff, but I don’t want that to influence your memories. I do think you are safe now. I don’t think he meant to hurt you that night. He wanted to shoot me. There isn’t a moment that’s gone by when I don’t wish he had.” His voice crackled with emotion and it touched her heart.
“Don’t say such a thing. I feel like I should invite you up here. As if I’ve invited you many times in the past.”
/> “You have. Your parents both approved of our match…at least until a few weeks ago.”
Penny moved over on the swing to make room and he cautiously ascended the steps to the porch. He sat on the swing, but folded his hands in his lap. They looked uncomfortable there.
He turned his head to face her. “Is there anything I can do to help you? I hope you know that I want you to regain your memory. I want you to know who did this and that it wasn’t me. If I were guilty, don’t you think I’d want you to remain as you are?”
“No, I don’t think so. I think you’d want me to believe you innocent so that you could go free.”
“Exactly. We want the same thing. I know I didn’t pull that trigger, and I want you to know that too.”
“Things are coming back in bits and pieces. I have no doubt that I will remember it all. Eventually. What I can’t figure out is that I have this innate feeling of mistrust when you are near. I feel the attraction that was once there, of course. But, there is also fear. Were you keeping something from me, Josiah? Did something happen between us that you think I won’t recall? Perhaps you hurt me in some way? Be honest with me, Josiah. If I remember later and you lie to me, I won’t just let it go.”
He looked out into the street. “No, love. I didn’t lie to you and I already told you I would never hurt you.”
She pursed her lips. His answer wasn’t at all the reassurance she had been looking for. “Well, nevertheless, the feeling is still there. Please tell me you will at least do as the sheriff asked and stay in town for the next few days until the judge comes and says you are truly free.”
“I have a few things I need to do that shouldn’t involve going too far. I need to do them though. I have to have a livelihood for us. You are more important than making sure I stay within a certain distance of town.”
“What is it you do, Josiah Williams?” She looked at him, realizing she had a golden opportunity to start over with this man who had held her heart enough for her to agree to wear his ring, something she did not take lightly.
