“I should go,” he said in a low whisper, followed by the heavy steps of his work boots leaving the house.
Chapter 19
Laura sat on the top step of the back porch. The cold water from the hose ran from her fingers on the paintbrush down to her bare feet. The choir of crickets serenaded her, and the lightning bugs danced against the curtain of the tree line on the back of the property.
She’d had a long talk with Rachel last night, but the truth she revealed about Thomas didn’t change anything. Laura’s mind had been made up about Thomas a long time ago.
Somehow the wound left by Connor’s absence in her life cut deeper than when Thomas dumped her before the wedding. She had replayed every word of what Connor had said and tried to imagine a scenario where things could have ended differently. She turned it over and over in her mind, but the risk of getting hurt always outweighed the slim possibility of happily ever after.
She would dust herself off and walk away, but a tired ache had moved all the way into her bones.
A glow of headlights flashed as someone turned up the drive, but she didn’t move. The buzz of the engine was too quiet to be Connor’s truck, so it didn’t matter.
She had finally found a moment of peace after her awful day, and she resented someone interrupting it. The last thing she needed was more drama.
She continued running her fingers through the smooth bristles and waited.
Thomas’s voice called her name from the front of the house.
She didn’t answer.
“Laura,” he said with irritation crawling through his tone.
He walked around the corner on the far side of the house. Her running garden hose had given her away.
“I yelled for you. Didn’t you hear me?”
“I heard you,” she said, looking down at the spotless brush.
The light from the windows of the house gave only enough brightness for her to see his dark shape and the shape of the bouquet of flowers in his hand. She didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now.
He set a grocery bag beside her. “I brought you dinner. I thought you might be hungry.”
She pulled a corner of the bag down to find a stack of plastic containers. Her stomach rumbled. “Where did you get this stuff?”
The blooms on the bouquet bounced. “It’s spaghetti. I made it.”
In all their time together, he had never cooked her anything more than a hot dog on the grill. “I didn’t know you knew how to cook.”
“Of course I know how.” He held the flowers out to her. “You look great.”
It sounded more like a question than a statement. She looked down at her jeans, which she had rolled up to midcalf, and her cotton shirt. She took the roses wrapped in tissue paper. “Thank you.”
Thomas with flowers and full of compliments—like when they began dating. Now she felt nothing for him, not even anger. Her heart was numb to all of it.
She studied the pink roses, not wanting to look at Thomas. “Why are you doing this?”
He kicked at the ground under his feet. “Well, I’m doing this because I love you.”
She tried to see his face, but shadows danced across it. “You’re going to have to work on the delivery of your closing arguments if you’re going to be an attorney.”
“What do you want me to say?” he asked, stepping into the light. “I messed up. I made a huge mistake.”
She appreciated his statements, although they only resembled an apology, but it didn’t change anything. “What if you didn’t make a mistake?”
“What are you talking about? I came all the way here just to tell you that I did.”
“I think you were right.” Laura stood up and dusted off her pants. She moved up the steps to a metal chair on the porch and sat down, the flowers still in her hands. “We aren’t ready to get married. Sure, we dated for two years, but we don’t even know each other.”
Thomas followed her and ducked down in front of her. “Of course we do. You can’t throw away two years because I got cold feet.”
“Thomas, I didn’t even know myself very well.” Laura was just beginning to figure out who she was.
His clammy hand took hers. Desperation glinted in his eyes. “It’s not too late, Laura. We can still do this. We can start over.”
She pulled away. “Let’s not kid ourselves anymore.”
Thomas jolted to his feet and walked to the edge of the porch, looking out toward the barn. “Does this have anything to do with Connor?” All the warmth had drained from his voice.
What if it had been Connor standing in front of her, begging her to reconsider? Could she have been so strong? “It has everything to do with us. We can’t get married to prove to people we can.”
Thomas fell into the other chair and put his forehead in his hands. “How did everything get so messed up?”
Without a word she walked into the kitchen. She poked through her purse until she found the diamond engagement ring.
Without an ounce of uncertainty, she pressed the ring into the palm of Thomas’s hand and folded his fingers around it. “A wise man once told me that sometimes you have to make a mess of things before you can put them back together the right way.”
The headlights of Connor’s truck shone on the dirt road leading to Laura’s house. As much as he wanted to believe Thomas had changed, the thought of Thomas trying to win Laura back made his stomach churn.
Connor couldn’t give up. He had to make Laura see that she deserved to be happy. He pressed his foot harder against the gas pedal, and the tires groaned against the dirt beneath them.
The lights of the house glowed from a mile away, like a lighthouse leading him home. As he approached, the porch lights came into view. Parked right in front of the house was Thomas’s sports car.
Connor was too late. Laura had run back to Thomas’s arms. The heartbreak of seeing that car in the drive drained all the life out of Connor. He pulled the truck into the weeds on the side of the road and turned off the lights.
She had said she couldn’t get hurt again, but she had gone back to Thomas. Had she been too afraid to tell Connor the truth—that she’d chosen Thomas over him?
The darkness engulfed him, but the motor still vibrated the vehicle. His selfish motives had only caused her pain, and now Laura had made her decision.
Chapter 20
Connor’s feet couldn’t move down the hall of the hospital fast enough. He’d made the twenty-minute drive to the neighboring town with the nearest hospital as soon as he had gotten the call.
“Connor.” He turned around to see Will with a paper cup of coffee in his hand. “I told you not to rush. The baby may not be here for hours.”
Connor slapped a hand around his brother’s shoulders. “Are you kidding? I want to see my new niece or nephew as soon as I can.”
Will stuck a finger toward the end of the hall. “Well, you better get in line because Mom, Dad, and the rest of the family didn’t listen to me either.”
His brother’s energy buzzed up and down the hallway.
“I can’t believe you’re about to be a dad. Are you nervous?”
Will’s eyes widened and he blew out a breath. “Nervous, excited, a little of everything. I don’t like seeing Cassie in pain, but she’s resting now.”
“Get back in there with her. You know where we’ll be.”
He and his brother exchanged a quick hug before Connor went to find the rest of the family in the waiting area.
As his mother paced back and forth on the worn linoleum and his dad snoozed on the couch, Will stared at the window toward the parking lot. Connor thought he had accepted the fact that Laura wasn’t going to be part of his life, but somehow he still ended up driving down her road last night. When he saw that little red car parked outside, it was like a punch in the chest. He had to let her go. She’d made her choice. But had he fought hard enough to win Laura’s heart?
Connor’s phone vibrated in the pocket of his jeans. He pulled
it out and saw Thomas’s name on the screen.
It felt like the air had been knocked out of him. Connor walked out to the hallway. “Hello?”
“How could you tell her?” Every word was filled with fury.
Connor walked faster down the quiet hallway. “What are you talking about?”
“Laura knows! She knows about her.” Thomas spit the words on the other end of the line. “I should have known you’d tell Laura. You’d do anything to look like the hero.”
Connor flexed his free hand into a tight fist. Thomas had looked him in the eye and lied to him. He had cheated on Laura. As the automatic door opened to the outside, the air-conditioned space gave way to a blanket of heat. “It’s true? You were cheating on her? How could you?”
“Please, Connor,” Thomas said with contempt. “Please stop the good-guy act. Now neither one of them wants anything to do with me.”
Sounded like justice had prevailed, but that wouldn’t change all the hurt Thomas’s selfishness had caused.
Connor stared at the cigarette butts and gum stuck in the ashtray on top of the trash can. “And you’re blaming me?”
Again.
“After I got dumped in Florida, my dad talked me into giving Wyatt Bend another chance. Even threatened to make me pay him back for all the law school tuition he paid for if I didn’t.”
Connor listened as Thomas ranted, but all he could think about was Laura—her beautiful face and her tender spirit. If she was reluctant to trust before, she would be even more unwilling after Thomas’s latest betrayal. He couldn’t give up on her like Thomas had. She deserved more than that.
“Stop,” Connor said. He couldn’t take his lies anymore. The blood rushed through him so fast it pulsed in his ears. “You’ve done nothing but hurt Laura. I stood by and watched it happen for far too long. I won’t stand for it anymore.”
Laura had a plane to catch. After completing the painting and freelance jobs and selling some of the antiques in the attic, Laura had scraped up enough money to go home and begin again in Florida. If the truck didn’t die, she could be at the Oklahoma City Airport in plenty of time. Rachel had offered to let her sleep on the couch of her one-bedroom apartment until Laura found a job and another place to live. It wasn’t perfect, but she was lucky to have such a good friend.
She had ignored every call and every knock on the door from Connor. Her soul couldn’t endure another heartbreak, which seemed to be the only outcome for Laura and Connor. Her life had been so fraught with turmoil since he had come into it. She needed a new beginning.
When Laura had arrived in Oklahoma, she had squeezed everything into the back of Thomas’s car. Today her suitcase bounced in the bed of the truck as it sputtered down the highway. Cars zoomed past her. The garment bag with the lace and silk organza gown was draped across the seat beside her. Instead of the perfectly organized wedding binder, a stack of to-do lists she had used when working on the house fluttered on the dashboard, and on the floorboard sat the green rubber boots with a splatter of yellow paint from the picture she had painted in the barn when Connor had snuck up on her.
The painting. A vision of the small canvas she had painted the night Thomas had reappeared flashed through her mind. It was still hanging in the living room.
Her foot slammed against the break. She couldn’t stand the idea of leaving it on the wall at Canyon Crossing. The truck clattered through the nearest exit.
She drove to the house as fast as the truck would move. She’d have to get back on the road soon to catch her plane, and leaving the first time had been harder than she had anticipated. She had experienced so many heartaches in that house, but it held a lot of warm memories as well—painting in the barn, working with Herschel on the cabinets, and the kiss with Connor under the elm tree. The house had served as a refuge for her splintered heart.
Laura soaked in the view of the front of the house as the tires rumbled against the gravel.
She would miss the house. She would miss Wyatt Bend. A sharp blade of sorrow dug into her chest. She would miss Connor.
Herschel appeared around the side of the house wearing work clothes and his bald head reflecting sunlight. What was he doing here?
She stopped the truck so abruptly it threw her forward. Breathtaking woodwork leaned against the side of the porch.
“Laura, I was wondering where you were,” Herschel said as she approached. He pointed a hammer at her. “We have work to do.”
Laura wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug, wondering if it would be the last time she ever saw him. “Herschel, what are you doing here?”
His brow rose in confusion. “Connor hired me to restore this old railing. Didn’t he tell you?”
When Connor had ripped the wood from the porch, Laura had assumed he had taken it to the dump. “I didn’t know.”
“I’ve been scraping and sanding all week,” Herschel said. “I’m installing it today.”
Apparently word hadn’t made it through Wyatt Bend that Laura was leaving or that Connor was no longer working on the house.
Herschel pointed a thumb out toward the pieces of the railing, which leaned against the siding of the house. “What do you think?”
Laura couldn’t take her eyes off the delicate columns and crisp white railing that had once been covered by layers of dirt and peeling paint.
Emotion caught in her throat. “Connor was right.”
“About what?” Herschel’s low voice was a calming presence.
Laura shook her head. “I had wanted to slap another coat of paint on them just like the cabinets or get rid of them. I said they were unsalvageable—too far gone to be saved.”
The swallows in the barn chirped. “That Connor has an eye. He sees the beauty in things even if everyone else has given up on them and left them behind.”
A tingle moved from Laura’s head down to her fingers and toes.
A porch swing sat on the overgrown grass. Laura gasped. “Is that the porch swing from the barn?”
Herschel beamed. “It’s a beauty, isn’t it?”
Memories of sitting under the elm tree with Connor flooded her mind. “It is. I can’t believe you fixed it.”
Herschel’s face drew tight. “Oh, I didn’t have anything to do with that one. Connor rebuilt it and asked me to hang it for you.”
Laura closed her eyes, willing the tears not to reveal themselves to Herschel.
“So where were you returning from so early in the morning?” Herschel asked.
Laura looked out to the dirt road in front of the house. She needed to leave soon. “I was on my way to the airport,” she said, avoiding Herschel’s gaze. “But I forgot something.”
Herschel let out a long whistle. “The airport, huh? Were you planning on coming back?”
She lowered herself onto the edge of the porch, her feet hanging down the side. “No, sir.”
“Well I hate to hear that,” Herschel said, drawing out his words. “You fit right in here in Wyatt Bend, and I thought you and Connor had become quite close. I’m sure that boy is mighty heavyhearted to see you go.”
Laura’s own heart felt like it was made out of lead. Things were too complicated. Laura blinked back the tears.
Herschel leaned in and squeezed her shoulder. “I know you’re hurting, but you’ll find love again.”
Laura stared down at her hands. “You don’t understand. When Thomas walked out, the rejection left all these holes and bruises on my heart.”
Herschel carefully lowered himself onto the porch beside her. “Thomas didn’t leave those.”
Laura looked at him. “Of course he did. I’ve carried them with me every day since he walked out.”
“I don’t doubt those places are there, but Thomas didn’t leave them. They’ve been there all along, and Thomas couldn’t fill them.” Herschel’s face turned up toward the clouds. “Connor can’t even fill them.”
Heat rose in Laura’s chest. It all sounded so unfair. What was the point if the pursuit
of true love, a family, a home, or a passion couldn’t fulfill you? Why did anyone even try? “So this is it. We walk around our whole lives with something missing.”
Herschel jabbed an index finger at the shirt pocket of his threadbare button-up. “Those are the spaces in your heart only God can fill. Until we give our lives—everything we are—to Him, we just chase futile relief, like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.”
It was the same thing Connor had been trying to tell her, but after all the rejection and all the hurt, she didn’t know how to put her trust in anything, especially a God she couldn’t see. “I need to grab the painting I forgot and get back on the road.”
Herschel patted her knee and gave her an affectionate smile, not saying anything. He didn’t have to.
Laura stood from the porch on wobbly legs.
She took in a deep breath to calm the thoughts and emotions that flew around in her mind. She unlocked and opened the front door. “Thank you, Herschel.”
He tipped his head.
She went inside, leaving Herschel on the front porch.
The morning light shone through the windows and made a spotlight on the painting. She stood in front of the picture. When she’d painted it, she hadn’t known what the abstract shape in the center was. She had only made the strokes and mixed the colors that represented her emotions, as jumbled and confusing as they were at the time.
She moved to the side to let the sunlight flood onto the canvas. Her eyes bounced around the painting. Something was there in the brushstrokes. She leaned in closer. The strokes and the colors came together to make a cross, a cross she hadn’t intended to paint.
Chills ran up her arms.
Had all the heartbreak and struggle only been leading her to God? Was it the only way He could break through the plan she had created and had clung to for dear life? Could God really give her freedom? It sounded impossible.
Now she couldn’t look at the picture without seeing the cross. Why hadn’t she seen it before? God had been there with her while she painted it. God had always been there with her, in this house and in Wyatt Bend.
Canyon Weddings Page 28
