Beth froze, and heat crawled up her neck. “Um. Well, let’s see. I don’t know.”
His wide eyes stared back at her.
She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings. “I appreciate the nice offer, but between the restaurant and everything I have going on right now, I’m going to have to pass.”
Jimmy’s smile faded. He rubbed his thumb against the white coffee cup. “You know, I’m glad you called me that night Brendan showed up. I’m happy to do that anytime, especially if Brendan bothers you again.”
Beth studied his eager face. “I appreciate that, but Brendan doesn’t bother me.”
The edges of Jimmy’s mustache dipped on his face. “Oh.”
Beth turned and slipped the coffeepot back into place. “You know, you and Brendan used to be pretty good friends. He could use another friend right now.”
The bar stool under Jimmy squeaked. “Brendan and I hung out as teenagers because there were only fifty kids in our graduating class.”
Beth flinched at Jimmy’s coldness. “Okay. You don’t have to be friends with him, but I hope you’ll reconsider refusing his help with the youth group.”
Jimmy took a slow slurp of coffee. “He told you about that?”
Beth crossed her arms. “I can’t understand why you’d turn down his offer.”
Jimmy’s fingertips pressed together, and his eyes slanted up at her. “I picked him up for trespassing last week.”
Beth roosted her hands on her waist. “He was taking photos. He wasn’t trying to cause any trouble.”
Jimmy’s short neck jutted out toward her. “Now, I’m only looking out for the kids. It was nothing personal against Brendan.”
She wanted to believe Jimmy that it wasn’t personal, but after he had just asked her to dinner and a movie, she couldn’t be so sure. “He’s trying to do the right thing and rebuild some bridges.”
Jimmy sniffed his nose. “It’s a little late for that.”
Beth stepped toward the counter. “Give him a chance.”
Jimmy stood and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. He handed Beth the bills, but when her hands wrapped around them, he didn’t let go. He tugged the money in, pulling her closer. She let go and stepped backward.
Jimmy’s eyes were locked on hers. “I’m keeping my eyes on him.”
The feeling of Beth’s arms clinging to Brendan as he sped down the country road was better than he could have imagined. He had missed her. He had believed she could never live up to the woman he had dreamed she might become. Turned out, she was better. The days she went without speaking to him only confirmed how much he wanted her in his life.
The road turned from dark asphalt to a dusty-red road. Her hands clung tighter to his jacket. Their destination was up ahead. The old barn still stood where he remembered it. If he kept driving, he could keep her here, clinging to him, but he shook the thought away. He stopped the motorcycle, and she loosened her grip around him. He helped her remove her helmet.
Beth’s eyes were bright. “Do you always drive like that?”
He pulled his camera bag from the pack on the side of his bike. “No. I slowed it down a little today. I didn’t want you to swear off ever riding with me again.”
She bent her leg and slid it over the motorcycle. “That was slower? You about scared me to death going around those turns.”
So that was why she was hanging on so tight. A twinge of disappointment pierced him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. What can I say? I have a need for speed.”
She rolled her eyes, but a smile formed on her lips. “What are we doing out here anyway?”
He tilted his chin up toward the barn. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
Brendan pulled on the post on the gate of the barbed-wire fence and unfastened the wire to open it. He swiped an arm in front of him for Beth to pass by him.
Beth walked past him in her jeans and worn cowboy boots. “Are you sure we’re not going to get in trouble for this?”
Brendan followed her on the other side of the fence and reattached the gate. “I made a few calls this time.” The last thing he needed today was Jimmy showing up again.
The tall grass and brush scraped against the legs of their jeans as they made their way through the field. They stumbled upon a narrow path cut out by the cattle and stepped onto it, walking in single file.
A portion of the barn’s metal roof lay about thirty feet from the structure, probably a result of the tornadoes that touched down around town a few years ago. He jumped up on an old abandoned tractor beside the barn. He poked around making sure no snakes or spiders had made their homes in it.
Brendan’s feet landed on the ground with a hard thud. He held up his camera. “Climb up there. I want to take some shots of you.”
She shook her head. “No way. I don’t like having my picture taken.”
How could someone who looked like Beth possibly have a problem with having her picture taken? He cocked his head and gave her a pleading look. “We’ll only take a few. I promise.”
She ran her fingers through her tousled hair. “I don’t know.”
He focused his lens on her. “Come on. You look beautiful, and the light is perfect.”
Her cheeks reddened. He loved that he could see her emotions written right across her face. He’d become an expert at masking his own emotions. Her vulnerability was gorgeous.
Her arms crossed. “I’ll make a deal with you.”
He lowered his camera, anxious to hear more. “A deal?”
Her hip jutted out to one side. “I’ll stand in for some photos if you let me teach you to bake.”
“Baking? I’m not great in the kitchen,” he said, even though the chance to spend more time with Beth was a no-brainer.
“I’m not great in front of a camera,” she said.
He thrust his hand out to her. “You’ve got a deal.”
He took her hand and helped her maneuver herself onto the tractor.
She hung on to the oversized steering wheel. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
He changed the settings on his camera. “I’m going to get my camera set up. Take a minute to relax.”
Beth sat in the ripped seat and stared out at the flat landscape. A strand of hair blew across her face. He took his camera and began snapping photos as quickly as his finger could manage. The strength in her eyes combined with the vulnerability in her face couldn’t be manufactured.
She turned to him. “I thought you were setting up.”
He took the camera away from his face. “I couldn’t help myself.”
She pushed her hair from her face, and he snapped more photos.
After a few minutes, she shook her head. “Okay, okay. I think my modeling days are over.”
He drew his brows together. “A few more?”
She shook her head. “Feel free to keep taking pictures,” she said. “Just without me in them.”
He clicked a few more.
Beth threw a hand in front of her face. “I’ll be your assistant. What can I do for you?”
Resigned to the end of her photo shoot, he sighed. “I guess you could bring me my other lenses from that bag.”
She jumped from the tractor. “I can do that.”
He stared through his viewfinder searching for his next shot as she dug through his bag.
“What’s this?” Her voice quivered.
Brendan froze, and his stomach dropped. How could he have forgotten what was hidden away in the pocket of his bag?
He lowered his camera from his face. Crouched in front of his backpack, she held the photo in her hand. The other hand was over her mouth. “Where did you get this?” she asked.
His head dropped, and he ambled over to her and squatted down beside her. “It’s mine. I took it.”
In the photo, a young Beth stood in front of the counter at her grandmother’s restaurant. Her mouth was wide open, and her body leaned forward in a laugh. To him the photo had always b
een the personification of joy. It had also been one of his first experiences at taking a photo that so perfectly captured a moment and a feeling in his life. He’d snapped it with a little point-and-shoot camera his parents had gotten him for Christmas that year. It had eventually led him to becoming a photographer.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her.
“Did you pull this out of storage when you got here or something?” Beth asked in a breathy voice.
Both of them stayed crouched down, the tall grass waving around them. He stared out toward the road. She probably thought he was some kind of crazy person carrying around a photo of her all these years. “No,” he whispered. “I’ve always kept it with me.”
He found the courage to look up at her face, which would tell him exactly what she was feeling.
Beth’s eyes, only inches from his own, were drenched in tears.
Beth stood up on shaky legs and loosened the grip she had on the old photograph. She checked the corners to make sure she hadn’t wrinkled the photo any more than it already was. All these years she’d made herself believe he’d never thought about her after he left.
Beth’s heart thudded in her chest. The photo told her what she had felt for Brendan had been real, and on some level it must have been meaningful for him, too. Her gaze ricocheted from the photograph to him and back.
The excitement she felt was replaced by a deep sorrow. If what they had was genuine, how could Brendan have thrown it all away?
Brendan took off his jacket and handed it to her. “Here. Sit on this.”
She took the leather jacket and folded it over on the grass. She sat on her knees with her hands in her lap. Brendan sat beside her and dug in his backpack. He pulled out a black binder and put it in her hands.
Her heart still beat wildly in her chest. “What’s this?”
Brendan’s face was pale, but also soft, like he’d removed the mask he’d worn for so long. “Take a look.”
She took a deep breath before she opened the cover to find a combination of photos and newspaper clippings inside clear plastic sleeves. She looked over at him for an explanation.
Brendan’s jaw flexed. “I don’t normally carry these around with me, but I thought my family might want to see them.”
As tough as Brendan tried to act, he still yearned for his family’s approval. Seeing this side of him only endeared him to Beth more. Beth turned back to the page and ran her hand over a color photograph. A wall of protesters stood in the middle of a street in front of a row of police with a white cloud of tear gas between them. Underneath it was the same photo in black-and-white newsprint with Brendan’s byline. The clipping was labeled New York Times. “Wow.”
He nodded. “That was my first photo in a big, national publication.”
She flipped to the next page, and her eyes met the big, round eyes of a little girl with a stained shirt and no shoes standing in front of a house with walls made of mud. She looked up at Brendan.
He pointed at the photo. “I’ll never forget her. Isn’t she adorable?”
She looked back at the photo. Below it read USA Today and Brendan’s name.
She touched her knuckle to her lips. Seeing the photos was like the opportunity to see through Brendan’s eyes. In every other aspect of his life, he’d done everything to keep people out, but these photos were the most honest part of Brendan she’d seen since he arrived in Wyatt Bend.
Once, Connor had offered to show her some of his brother’s photographs, but Beth hadn’t wanted to face it. She’d been afraid her feelings for him might creep back in. She pressed her palm against her forehead. “I can’t believe I let you wash dishes and clean the kitchen in the restaurant.”
His laugh floated up through the breeze. “Honestly, it was exactly what I needed.”
She rolled her eyes. “You needed to work as my busboy?”
“I needed to step out of that crazy life.” He stared out toward the dirt road. “I needed to lose the ego and reevaluate my life.”
Beth studied his strong profile and the shadow on his jaw. “What did you find out?”
He ran his fingers over the back of his head. “I’m more confused than when I got here.”
Beth turned to another page in the binder. Instead of newspaper clippings, she found photographs of mountains in the sleeves. “What are these?”
“Those aren’t anything,” Brendan said. “Just random shots I took on my travels.”
The plastic slid between her fingers as she turned to a picture of an owl on a branch. “These are amazing.”
He leaned over her shoulder. “Thanks. I love nature photography as much as I love photojournalism, maybe more, but I don’t have time for it. My career now is nonstop.”
She turned her head to look up at him. There was more he wasn’t saying. “I’m surprised they let you off work for more than a month to be here until Connor’s wedding.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m taking some time to figure out what’s next.”
Beth sunk down on her knees at the hesitation in his voice. He wasn’t ready to talk. Even now, mysterious Brendan wouldn’t lay all his cards on the table. Despite how far he’d come and what he’d shared with her, Brendan had secrets—probably more than she’d ever know.
“But I’m glad I’m here. Grateful I’ve gotten to reconnect with you.” He looked down at the grass in front of him. “You know, I have a lot of regrets.”
She touched his hand, urging him to keep the mask off a little longer. She hadn’t realized how much she missed this Brendan until she saw him again. It was almost like seeing the dead come back to life. If he disappeared again, it would be more painful than before.
Brendan leaned forward on his knees, leaning over the stack of photographs. His face was only inches from her. “I should have never let you go.”
He put a warm hand on the side of her neck and pulled her face toward his. When his lips brushed against hers, a tide of both new and familiar feelings flowed between them.
They separated, and she touched her fingers to her lips. “I’d forgotten how good that felt.”
Brendan glanced at the ground and then back to her eyes. “I hadn’t.”
She placed her hands against her cheeks, which had to be as pink as the setting sun.
Brendan took her hands. “Leave it. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.” And he kissed her again.
Chapter 11
Beth spent the day rushing between the kitchen, the dining room, and her office. The restaurant had a steady stream of diners all day, but as Beth worked, she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss with Brendan. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t fall for him again, but everything about yesterday had been perfect.
She walked to a small table at the front of the dining room and took her order pad and ink pen from her apron pocket. “Can I take your drink order, ma’am?”
“No thank you.” Mrs. Lowry lowered the menu and slanted her eyes up to Beth. “I waited for you for a half hour yesterday.”
Beth’s lungs plunged to her stomach. How could she have missed the meeting at the school? “I completely forgot.” The words spilled out. “I’m so sorry.”
Mrs. Lowry slipped the menu in between the napkin dispenser and ketchup bottle. Her mouth pulled tight across her face. “I thought you were committed to helping Chase.”
Beth ducked her head like she was one of Mrs. Lowry’s students called in to the office for bad behavior. “I am. I’m extremely committed.”
Mrs. Lowry folded her hands in front of her on the Formica tabletop. “You say that, but then you fail to show up for the meeting we set. Have you set up an appointment with the counselor yet?”
Beth swallowed hard. She’d meant to schedule a session last week. “I’m going to do that. I completely agree that he needs it…. I mean, we need it.”
“What do you think that demonstrates to me?” Mrs. Lowry said.
Heat crawled up Beth’s ears. She pulled a chair out and sat on the
edge of the seat. “That’s unfair. I care about Chase more than anything.” Her voice cracked. “And for you to suggest I’m not doing my best—”
Mrs. Lowry placed her hand on Beth’s. “There’s no reason to get upset.”
Beth tucked her hands between her knees. She glanced back through the window where Oscar flipped burgers. “I’m a little overwhelmed right now.”
Mrs. Lowry’s shoulders drooped. “I know you have a lot on your plate. That’s why I want to help you. You need to talk to Chase about what has been going on at school.”
The implication that she didn’t already try to have conversations with Chase about what was going on made her stomach burn. Of course she’d tried to talk to him. Every day she told Chase the importance of working harder in school and staying out of trouble.
A group of men in work clothes and with grease on their hands walked into the restaurant.
Beth stood from the chair and smoothed her apron as the metal legs of tables and chairs scraped against the floor as the men moved tables together. Mrs. Lowry stood and slung a thick purse handle on the shoulder of her suit jacket. “Maybe there is another family member you could ask to talk to him.”
Beth sighed and looked at Mrs. Lowry. “I appreciate you trying to help, but we don’t have any family who would be good for Chase. I’m all he has right now.”
Mrs. Lowry shifted her head to one side. “What about a friend? Maybe there’s an older boy or a man he could relate to.”
When Brendan’s face appeared in her mind, Beth shook her head. Brendan had certainly been through struggles in his high-school years, but no matter what had happened between them yesterday, trusting Brendan to guide Chase was a dangerous path.
No matter what happened, she would fight for Chase. He deserved it. “I don’t know. I’ll see what I can do.”
As Brendan walked up to Beth’s house, he flexed his hands to release some of the nervousness shooting through his fingers.
Beth stepped out on the front porch. She looked amazing in a bright-red shirt and dark jeans. “You look great.”
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