Other than a truck that rattled by them, the town square was quiet this time of night. “Connor understands this. Why can’t you?”
Will’s neck drew back like a snake ready to strike. “Because I’m the only one here who will tell you like it is, and I don’t appreciate you coming back here to stir things up and then leave everybody hanging again. What do you think it’s going to do to Mom when you leave and don’t call home for three months? Who do you think is going to clean up your mess?”
Brendan looked up at the navy-blue sky. “I’m not you, Will. I can’t live in Wyatt Bend forever and work for the family business.”
The statement was partly true. He couldn’t imagine working at Overman Real Estate, but he could imagine being here with Beth. That dream lived far beyond where he could ever reach.
“No one is asking you to,” Will said. He glanced through the window of the restaurant. Their family talked at the table, and Will’s shoulders relaxed. “You’ve forgotten who you are,” Will said with his teeth clenched.
The armor rebuilding in Brendan’s chest weighed too much to bear. “You have it all wrong.”
Will jerked his face up toward the dark sky. He looked back to Brendan and stepped closer to him. “You’re not this big-shot, daredevil photographer. You’re the kid who used to make us all laugh when we went camping and fishing. Not the reckless guy who wouldn’t so much as show up for his brother’s wedding.”
“I’d rather be reckless than not living my life to the fullest,” Brendan said.
Will threw his arms out toward him, his watch sliding up his arm. “You call this living your life to the fullest?”
Brendan had dreamed of this kind of life since the day he left Wyatt Bend, a life of freedom and being able to move off to foreign places without anything holding him back. “Of course I do. I have a career that takes me all over the world. I have hobbies that get my adrenaline pumping.”
His brother clenched and unclenched his fist. “You’re not living your life to the fullest. You’re running. Plain and simple. You’re running away from every bad thing that’s ever happened to you and every person who has ever reminded you who you really are, including Beth.”
At the mention of Beth’s name, Brendan’s stomach twisted. “Don’t bring Beth into this.”
His brother stepped forward, unrelenting. “You’ve led her on the entire time you’ve been here.”
Brendan fought to grasp hold of his frustration. He didn’t want to leave like this. “Can’t we find a way to get past this—agree to disagree? I don’t want to fight with you.”
Will closed his eyes. “You’ve made your decisions, Brendan, and now you have to deal with the fallout. I’m tired of doing it for you.”
Beth pushed Chase’s door open with her foot. He lay stretched out on the bed in front of a novel with a dark cover featuring a man with a staff and a cloak. Chase bobbed his head to the music coming from his headphones.
Beth set the laundry basket by his twin bed. “Could you fold those and put them away?” she asked over the music, but she knew he’d end up pulling clothes straight out of the basket all week. She couldn’t find the energy to try to force him to do any differently.
Chase pulled a headphone from his ear, and the broken music drifted into the room. “Can I go with you to see Brendan tonight? I didn’t see him at church today, and I wanted to talk to him about the game.”
Beth stiffened. Brendan wasn’t only walking out on her and his family. He was walking out on Chase.
She swallowed hard, determined not to let Chase see the emotions raging inside her. “I won’t be going to see Brendan anymore.” The truth was she didn’t know if she’d ever see Brendan again. She didn’t know if she wanted to see him again. It was too painful.
Chase swung his legs in front of him, sat up on the bed, and pulled out the other earphone. “Why not? Did you have a fight or something?”
She sat so far on the edge of the bed she had to hold the nightstand to keep from slipping off to the floor. “Brendan’s leaving today. He may already be gone.”
She waited for Chase’s reaction.
He pushed a strand of hair from his face. “When will he be back?”
A lump sat in the back of her throat. “I don’t know. It may be a long time. He’s moving to London. He took a job there.”
Disappointment registered in Chase’s eyes. “He’s moving?”
Beth nodded.
The bed shook as Chase moved his legs off the other side and sat with his back to her. “What did you do? What did you say to him to make him leave?”
Beth stood up and walked to the foot of the bed. “I know you’re upset, but you can’t blame me for choices Brendan made. We’re all responsible for our own decisions in life.”
Chase’s head hung down. “He liked you. If you hadn’t rejected him, he might have stuck around.”
Beth leaned down in an attempt to get Chase to look at her. “Chase, don’t talk about things you don’t know anything about.”
Chase stayed leaned over with his elbows on his knees, but his head flew up to her. “He told me that day that he liked you.”
Beth lowered herself into the desk chair. “Chase, it’s more complicated than that.”
Chase gripped the edge of the bed. “You talk to me like I’m a little kid.”
Beth held out an open hand. “You’re fifteen. You are a kid. Stop trying to grow up so fast. It’s not everything it’s cracked up to be.”
“Just because you don’t like your life doesn’t mean I’ll hate mine,” Chase said.
He was only a teenager. She shouldn’t take it personally, but his words still stabbed at her most vulnerable places. “We’ll talk about this later. I need to take care of a couple things at the restaurant.”
Chase slid a headphone back in his ears and opened the book on his bed. “You’re not even supposed to be working on Sunday, but that’s all you care about is the restaurant.”
Beth walked over and plucked the white headphone from his ear. “That’s not true.”
He didn’t look up from the pages. “It is true. You’re there all the time.”
She pulled the book out from under his nose. “I’m there because we have to eat. Because I have bills to pay and football cleats and car magazines to buy.”
He turned his face away from her.
“I’m doing all this for you, Chase. Can’t you see that? I’m not working my tail off and going to counseling sessions and meetings with the principal because it’s fun.”
When Chase turned back to her, the corners of his eyes drooped. “If you don’t want to do that, stop. I never asked you to do any of it.”
Silence pressed against the walls of the tiny bedroom. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m happy to do those things for you.”
Chase looked her in the eye. “You blame everything on me. It’s not my fault your life is so messed up.”
Beth closed her eyes, searching for the words to say to make her brother understand. “It’s not your fault, but while you’re living in my house—”
“This isn’t your house,” Chase said louder than she’d heard him speak in years. Chase’s legs swung from the bed, and he faced her. He fumbled with his shoes as he slid them on his feet. “This is Nana’s house, and I lived here before you moved in. Remember?”
Beth stood in the center of the room with her hands hanging at her sides.
Chase jerked at his shoelaces. “If you don’t want me here, say so.” He stood and stormed past her.
Beth chased him down the narrow hallway and out to the garage. “Come back. We’re not done talking about this.”
Chase pressed the button on the wall, and the garage door rattled as it opened. “I’m done.” He stomped to the front of the garage. His clunky tennis shoes hit the kickstand up on his old bike, and Chase rolled it to the driveway.
Beth stood in front of him, but he looked straight through her. “What are you doing?” Beth said in a sha
ky voice. “Come back inside the house.”
He walked his bike around her. “If you don’t want me living here, I’ll find somewhere else to go.”
“Where will you go?” Beth asked.
“I’ll find Mom.” He threw a leg over his bike. “Even living with her would be better than this.” His knees nearly hit the handlebars as he pumped the bike pedals.
“Chase. Come back,” she yelled down the street as he rode away from her.
Panic rose up in her throat, but she pushed away the fears. Chase was upset and needed time to calm down. Surely he’d be back before dinner, and by then Beth hoped she’d know the right things to say to him.
Chapter 19
Brendan weaved between the parade of semitrucks and cars on the interstate. The adrenaline of being back on the road drowned out the dull ache in the still-healing bones, but it didn’t drown out the voice in his head telling him not to leave Beth.
When he’d gone back in the restaurant, she’d been gone. Even if God sent Beth back into Brendan’s life, who was Brendan to accept such an extraordinary gift?
Brendan steered his motorcycle off an exit with a small gas station and pulled up under the awning supported by skinny metal posts. The old pumps with faded green paint and rusting metal stood in the center of the cracking concrete slab. Long, brown weeds sprouted up from the spaces at the edge of the concrete.
Brendan removed his helmet and waved at the man inside the station sitting alone behind the counter. The storefront glass reflected Brendan’s tired face back to him. He’d thought he was coming home from this hard life of always being on the run, but here he was again.
He bit his leather glove and pulled it off his hand with his teeth. The crisp fall air pricked at his fingertips. He took his cell phone out to see if he’d missed any calls. A voice mail waited for him on the phone. He pressed the button.
“It’s Beth.” Her voice shook as she spoke.
He rested a hand on his handlebar and prepared for what she had to say.
“Chase ran away.”
He stood up straighter, his own selfish plans flooding out of him.
“When he took off on his bike, I thought he would turn around and come home soon, but I haven’t heard from him,” she said in a fragile voice. “I didn’t think he’d really run away.”
He pressed the phone harder to his ear to hear over the roar of the semis on the interstate beside him.
“I called your parents’ house,” she said, her voice getting higher as she spoke. “Your mom told me you already left town. I had hoped you might change your mind about the job.”
There was a long pause.
“I can’t understand how you would miss your brother’s wedding, but …” Her words trailed off as if they weren’t directed at him.
“If Chase calls you or tries to make contact with you, please let me know. I’m worried about him. Terrified, really.” Her voice cracked. “He looked up to you. If you talk to him, please convince him to call me or to come home.”
Brendan pulled the phone from his ear and stared at the blank screen. Beth’s voice sounded so fragile. He wanted to be there with her to put his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay.
Brendan’s motorcycle boots crunched against the parking lot. The cars buzzed on the interstate above him, but the road in front of the station was desolate. If he found Chase, what would he tell him? Could he convince him running away wasn’t the answer when he was leaving town?
The seat belt over Beth’s chest shivered with each breath. Her eyes scanned another street as she searched for any sign of Chase.
She’d tried calling their mother but had been met by a series of beeps and a recording that told her the number wasn’t in service. Beth called Chase’s friends and teammates, but no one had seen him. She gripped the steering wheel and squinted through the dusk.
She pulled into a parking space in front of the police station. She hadn’t spoken to Jimmy since she’d turned down his date. But right now she had to find Chase. Beth crossed her arms against the chill of the early October night and prayed Chase was somewhere warm and safe.
She threw open the front door. The inside of the police station provided little relief from the iciness running through her. “Is Jimmy Gunderson around?” she asked the man at the front desk.
The heavy door beside the lobby buzzed before Jimmy walked out. “Beth? What are you doing here?”
“Chase ran away. I need to file a police report or something. I don’t know.” The words spewed from her mouth.
Jimmy waved her through the doorway and led her to an office with desks against all four walls. He motioned for her to sit in a desk chair, and he pulled another from across the room. The fluorescent light gave everything a yellow glow. “Sit. What’s going on?” Jimmy asked.
Beth took a deep breath. “Chase and I had a fight, and he walked out. Said he was going to live with his mom, but …” She couldn’t say the words that his mom didn’t want him.
The corners of Jimmy’s mustache pointed toward the floor. “Where does she live?”
Beth’s foot jiggled back and forth. “The last I knew she lived in Dallas, but it’s been a while since we’ve had contact. She moves around a lot.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
Beth nodded. “It wasn’t a working number.”
Jimmy stood up from his seat. “Come on. I’ll help you search for him.”
When Brendan rounded the corner, his eyes searched the dark stretch of road for any sign of Chase. The light from his headlight reflected on something in the grass. Brendan parked on the edge of the asphalt and spotted Chase’s bike by the side of the road.
Brendan let out a slow breath. He’d found him.
In the glow of the moonlight, Brendan stopped and took in the outline of the bridge and the figure of someone sitting on the railing. The last time Brendan was here, he’d sworn to himself he’d never come back. The sight of the metal rivets of the bridge caused his head to wrench backward. He pulled his shoulders back. To help Chase, Brendan would have to smother every emotion brewing inside him.
Brendan walked toward Chase who sat on the metal railing with his feet dangling down toward the water. Against the dark night, Chase’s slumped shape looked lost and alone, but he had a sister who was worried about him and wanted nothing more than to have him home.
“Hey,” Brendan said, taking off his leather jacket.
Chase didn’t turn around to face him. “What are you doing here? I thought you left town.”
The moonlight reflected off the small stream of water bubbling down the creek. The memories fought to occupy his mind. He jerked his eyes away and focused them on Chase. “I did. I came back to look for you.”
Brendan placed the jacket on Chase’s shoulders.
Chase pulled it around him. “Did my sister call you?”
Brendan turned around and sat beside Chase. He faced the road with his back to the pain behind him. “She’s worried about you.”
“She has to act worried about me,” Chase said.
Brendan looked up at the stars. “Why do you think it’s an act? She loves you.”
Chase shook his head. “She doesn’t want me living with her. All we do is fight. There was no one else to live with when Nana died.”
Brendan squeezed Chase’s shoulder, but Chase swung his legs over the railing and stood.
Chase picked up a rock from the road and chucked it out toward the water. The rock thudded against the grassy bank and splashed into the water below. “I heard what my sister said to you that night we rode your motorcycle to the canyon.”
Brendan crossed his boots out in front of him. “What did she say?”
Chase picked up another rock. He grunted as he threw it harder toward the creek. “Said she couldn’t live her own life because she had to take care of me. I’m not a kid.”
After all Beth had sacrificed, her brother didn’t believe she loved him. “So you’re runnin
g away. You’re going to live here on the river like a mountain man.”
The indication of a smile snuck out of the corner of Chase’s lips. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll hitchhike to my mom’s or buy a bus ticket. I can’t go back home with my sister.”
Brendan looked over at Chase’s face, stuck somewhere between a boy’s and a man’s. “Your sister wants you home with her. I know it gets hard, but she loves you.”
Chase didn’t respond.
Brendan’s eyes betrayed him and darted out to the banks below them. His throat constricted. “Did you know I had a wreck at this bridge when I was in high school?”
Brendan glanced back at Chase, and for the first time Chase was looking at Brendan.
Chase shook his head. “I didn’t know that.”
Brendan stared down toward where the car had landed on its roof with the passenger-side door smashed in like a paper bag. “My friend was in the car with me. I was okay. He didn’t make it.”
“He died?” Chase asked in a flat voice.
Brendan’s cracked ribs ached now more than ever. He took a shallow breath. “Yes. He died, and I left town the first chance I got.” Brendan shook off his own monsters to deal with Chase’s. “I thought no one wanted me here. I felt like things would be easier for my family if I were gone. I didn’t think I deserved to stay here.”
Chase kicked the gravel under his feet. “So you think I should go back?”
Brendan faced Chase. “If I could be a teenager again, I would do a lot of things differently.” Now Brendan worried it might be too late for him. He didn’t know if Beth or his family could ever trust him after all the times he’d hurt them.
Chase sat beside Brendan and leaned his elbows on his knees. They sat in silence listening to the crickets and the bubbling stream.
“Running away has never fixed anything, you know,” Brendan said.
Chase craned his neck to look up at Brendan. Moonlight reflected off glassy tears in his eyes. “But I don’t know where else to go.”
Brendan crouched down in front of Chase and looked at his face. “I’ve run for fifteen years, and I’ve learned that there is only one safe place to run—and that’s to God. You need to seek Him first. Then you’ll know what to do.”
Canyon Weddings Page 42
