City Girl

by Patricia Scanlan

  When he finally did come and stood at the door late on the following evening, her heart went out to him as she saw the taut grimness of his face. He didn’t have to tell her his father had died. It was written all over his face. Devlin swallowed hard. She didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to bring back all her own misery, misery that she had savagely suppressed these last few weeks. But he was suffering and needed comfort as she had needed it. Wordlessly she held out her arms to him and felt him bury his face in her hair. She held him tightly for a long while, her heart aching for both of them, her thoughts turning to Lynn whom she would never hold in her arms again. Grimly, frantically she struggled to control herself, afraid to release the emotion she had never expressed over her bereavements. She couldn’t add to his grief. If she started to cry now she would never stop. She managed, just about, and a little later he drew away from her and managed a brief smile.

  ‘Thank you, Devlin. You’ve helped me more than you could know . . . I’ve got to go and make funeral arrangements. I’ll see you when it’s over.’

  Three days later he strode into the ward with three dozen red roses. He looked tired: his craggy lean face seemed to have aged and the touch of grey at his temples seemed more pronounced but he smiled warmly at her. Devlin smiled back, a blush tinting her cheeks as she accepted the flowers. ‘For a caring generous lady,’ he said softly. ‘I really appreciate what you did for my father. Thank you.’

  ‘Not at all, Luke. Honestly, there was no need for you to take this trouble when you have so many other things to do right now,’ Devlin said, slightly embarrassed, yet touched by his gesture. She looked him straight in the eye. ‘You’d want to start saving your money if we are going into business together. To staff, stock and decorate it, you’re going to need lots and lots of cash!’ There was a wicked glint in her blue eyes.

  A broad grin spread across Luke’s face as her words sank in. He could feel the adrenalin begin to rush through his body as it always did at the start of a new venture. He knew they were on to a winner. Maybe he could make Devlin feel attracted to him as he was to her. He knew it would be a long slow process. She had been hurt, and hurt badly by something or someone. Luke squared his broad shoulders. He had never backed down from a challenge and she was the biggest he had ever encountered. He wouldn’t rush things, though. Reaching into his briefcase he said crisply, ‘Don’t just sit there grinning, Miss, we’ve got plenty of work to do!’ Handing her a pen and some blank pages he said, smiling at her, ‘Let’s get down to business, pardner!’

  Twenty-three

  For Devlin the next six months were a hectic but exhilarating time. She worked tirelessly, throwing herself into the preparations despite Luke’s admonitions that she take things easy. Physically she was recovered. She wanted to keep herself busy every minute she could, to try to smother the feelings of guilt and grief that consumed her. If she hadn’t decided to go and live in Wexford, Kate and the baby might still be alive today. Her heart felt like a vast lead weight and every time a thought of Lynn came into her head it was frantically banished. Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it, she ordered herself a thousand times a day. Live for now, this minute, don’t think about the past. It got her through the days but the nights were torture.

  She knew Maggie and Caroline couldn’t understand her seeming lack of grief, but not even with them could she talk about it. For the first time in her life she couldn’t let the girls help her, although she had listened and comforted Caroline when she told her about her treatment for alcoholism. Devlin couldn’t bring herself to share her grief and let go because she was afraid of the torrents of emotion any giving into it would unleash.

  Bitterly she told Lydia that she wanted nothing to do with her and the other woman had not come to the hospital again. Nor had she seen her since her discharge, although she met her father several times a week.

  Luke would sometimes look at her, a perplexed look in his eyes as she kept pace with him step for step in the development of the club, bouncing her ideas off him, learning from his suggestions and gaining confidence in herself and the venture as everything began to slot into place. They could talk about anything concerning the business and talk they did, but with any hint of the talk turning personal, Devlin clammed up, politely but very firmly, steering the topic around to business matters again.

  Don’t push, he told himself a thousand times, but no matter how gently he tried to get behind her reserve he wasn’t having much luck. Even the odd deliberate reference to Nola elicited no queries as he had expected it to. He could have sworn she had been surprised when he told her he wasn’t married but obviously he had read more into her response than was there. Was it just that she wasn’t interested in him? Or was she getting over an unhappy love affair? If only he had some line to go on. The woman was driving him crazy.

  Devlin knew her behaviour puzzled her partner, but she couldn’t help it. Her new health club consumed her. It was all she cared about. It filled her mind and kept her thoughts from other painful things and that was the way it was going to be. Luke had insisted that she visit similar clubs in London, Paris and the States and she had spent ten long informative days in a plush resort in Florida where many rich and famous celebrities came to relax and fight the flab and make the body beautiful. The treatments she herself received had left her glowing and refreshed, she had even gained some of the weight that had fallen off her in hospital and she had come back to Dublin bursting with ideas for their place. Luke had flown over from London later in the week following her return and his heart lifted at the sight of her. She looked so tanned and vital, almost like the Devlin he had first seen so long ago, but catching her in an unguarded moment staring down at some children going to feed the ducks in the Green he had cursed beneath his breath at the awful lonely sadness in her eyes. If only she would tell him what had caused that pain he might have been able to give her some comfort. It had to be more than grief for her aunt, he knew they had been close but surely time would have started healing the sadness. He considered asking Gerry but decided against it. That would be an invasion of her privacy. If Devlin wanted to tell him what was troubling her, she would, and if and when she did, he knew he would have moved a big step forward in their relationship. Better to know her crisp and businesslike than not to know her at all.

  Devlin decided to call the club CITY GIRL and Luke liked the name. It had a snazzy uptown ring to it and the interest that was already being shown gave a good indication that they were on to a winner. Caroline and Maggie were as excited as Devlin and there were endless discussions about the decor. The building, which had previously housed offices, was gutted from top to bottom, the elegant Georgian façade cleaned and painted. With the help of the designer of the Florida resort, the interior of the building was transformed into a luxurious haven.

  ‘Get the best,’ said Luke, and she did. Only the plushest of furniture was used, enormous cane sofas and chairs with soft plump cushions lay dotted around the lounging areas, which were decorated in soft pastel colours, muted pinks and greys and pale greens. The relaxing ambience exuded a subtle air of wealth, tinged with unmistakable sophistication. It was the perfect place for a busy business woman or rich wife to relax with friends.

  Professional staff was recruited. CITY GIRL had its own doctor, nurse, beauty consultants, as well as masseurs, hairdressers, aerobics instructors and a host of other personnel. The rooftop swimming pool, jacuzzis and saunas were surrounded by vivid, lush tropical plants and enclosed under a huge glass dome. It was a rich green paradise at artificial temperatures. There were two intimate restaurants, and an attractive Spanish-tiled shopping mall which sold wildly expensive goods. There was a small library where the weary city girl could relax over the daily newspapers, or read a few chapters of the latest on the best sellers list. If she wished she could take a Linguaphone course while having a pedicure, or perhaps, dictate a business letter while having her manicure, to a top class secretary who would have it ready for her
departure.

  Visiting business executives from other countries could avail of CITY GIRL’s exclusive services. And there was wide corporate interest in the club which generated enormous business. Membership of CITY GIRL became one of the tantalizing perks that corporate employers used to headhunt the best. As Luke had foretold, membership of the club became a status symbol and even women from other parts of the country who visited the capital two or three times a month availed of a special membership of the club.

  The venture was succeeding beyond Devlin’s wildest dreams but even so, she didn’t forget old friends. She asked Eddie, Mollie’s husband, to take charge of the carpentry and Rog and Rayo were sent to do a course in lifesaving with a view to becoming pool attendants. The boys had noticed that Devlin couldn’t bear to talk about Lynn or the accident, so by unspoken agreement it was a taboo topic. To all intents and purposes, her secret past life had never happened. Only with Mollie would Devlin make a passing reference to the past, when lonely, tormented, unable to face the thoughts of an evening alone she would drive out to her friend’s lovely new corporation house in the Liberties, and spend a few hours with the kind motherly woman.

  Devlin’s lifestyle had changed dramatically. She was now the managing director of a fantastically successful company, CITY GIRL Ltd, and earning a large salary. When she had protested about the amount, Luke said firmly, ‘Devlin, you’ll earn every penny of it. There’s no point in living on a pittance. You’ll be entertaining potential clients, you’ll need your expense account. You need a place to live that’s going to be relaxing and comfortable for you after the ten- or twelve-hour day you’ll be putting in. The first rule of good business is pay a decent salary and you and I are employees just like the others. They deserve their salaries; so do we.’ He grinned at her. ‘Don’t worry, if we are in danger of going bankrupt you’ll be the first to know.’

  He was right of course. And there was not the slightest fear of them going bankrupt. The figures were very firmly in the black.

  Devlin bought an apartment in the same complex as Caroline, although it seemed as if she was never there. Luke was right: she was earning every penny of her salary. The new club excited enormous media interest and the opening day was something Devlin would never forget. A PR firm worked flat out to ensure that it was one of the biggest social events of the year. Devlin spent the day being interviewed by the press, radio, and TV and in the process became something of a celebrity.

  She was invited to opening nights, galas, and a host of other functions, which she went to, realizing that by maintaining a high profile she would generate more business for the club. It was a strategy that worked. Women were clamouring for membership, not the least deterred by the hefty yearly fees. To be a member of CITY GIRL was a must for the socially conscious woman.

  Devlin’s life was full. Yet the emptiness inside would not go away. She couldn’t bear to be alone, yet she longed sometimes for solitude at the height of a hectic party or in her plush office at the club where there was a constant stream of people requiring her attention. For the first time in their friendship she couldn’t talk to Caroline and Maggie about her feelings. They too were emotionally wounded, Caroline by her alcoholism and by something else, something that affected her marriage that she could not talk about either. Maggie, deeply hurt by Terry’s affair, was pouring all her bitter feelings into the novel she was writing. Devlin had read what she had written and the raw pain in some of the writing had made her want to cry as she identified with it. Poor Maggie was so giving and yet Terry, the fool, couldn’t see what he was losing. She could almost understand Caroline turning to drink because of being married to Richard, but Terry cheating on Maggie? That she couldn’t credit. They all had such problems, and they couldn’t talk to each other. It wasn’t that their friendship was under strain. Devlin decided that the reason she didn’t want to talk to her friends about her emotional state was because they had enough troubles of their own, without her burdening them with hers. Although she didn’t realize it, that was the exact reason the other girls had for not telling her their troubles.

  Sometimes she longed to confide in Luke. If only she could bring herself to. He had the most calming way about him and could see straight to the heart of a problem and take quick decisive measures to solve it. She had seen him in action so many times during the build up to the opening of CITY GIRL. Calm, totally in control, he had time to talk to anybody who needed to talk to him. He treated his staff with the utmost respect and they loved him for it. Devlin had learned a lot from Luke Reilly. She made frequent trips to London to keep him informed of progress. He left most of the day-to-day running of the complex in her capable hands but major decisions they made together. He was always so glad to see her, always so pleased by the great success of their joint venture.

  The first time she went to London, she had stayed at her old haunt, the Tara. At dinner later that evening, Luke had said teasingly, ‘You know I do have a three-bedroomed apartment overlooking the Thames. Think of what you could save the company by staying there instead of using your expense account on hotel accommodation.’

  Devlin laughed. She loved Luke’s sense of humour. It made her feel young and a little carefree again. Sometimes his dry asides during long intense company meetings would set her off into fits of giggles. It was a bit daft, her staying in a hotel when they had so much to discuss, so the next time she flew over she stayed in his luxurious but homely apartment. He cooked the most magnificent meal for her and they stayed talking until the early hours. He was so supportive that it touched her deeply and she always flew home after her time with him feeling more invigorated and alive, her unhappiness forgotten for a while.

  She realized that he had more than a business interest in her although he had never pushed or made any mention of it. Had things been different in her life, had she been able to scale the huge wall of her grief, it was something she would have welcomed. Men like Luke Reilly were few and far between. But to love was to be hurt – that was a lesson life had taught her. Lynn, Kate, Lydia, even Colin. All she had was the pain of love. She would never allow herself to care for someone deeply again. CITY GIRL was all she needed.

  Twenty-four

  Several months after the opening, Luke flew over to Dublin, something he did regularly. He took Devlin to dinner as usual but noticed that she was uncharacteristically subdued. His heart sank. He decided he was definitely losing his touch with women. He seemed no nearer to penetrating her reserve whenever matters turned personal. She was completely engrossed in the business and while he was delighted with the club’s success he often cursed it for taking her away from him. Was this a repeat of his earlier experiences?

  No! there was no comparison between Nola’s naked ambition and hunger to succeed, and Devlin’s total absorption with CITY GIRL. She was immersing herself in the business because she was trying to forget someone or something and it seemed there was nothing he could do about it.

  Studying her discreetly in the soft lamplight of the restaurant, he sighed. A cap of shining blond hair fell in a soft silky curtain to frame her beautiful heart-shaped face. Perfect wing-tipped eyebrows arched delicately over her darkly lashed aquamarine eyes that were, tonight, gazing with a sad faraway expression into the space behind him. Her beautiful soft tender lips, which he dreamed constantly of kissing, taunted him with their unapproachableness and he groaned inwardly. He couldn’t take much more of this! She was driving him nuts. He noticed her toying with her food. She had hardly eaten a mouthful all evening.

  ‘Don’t eat it if you don’t want it!’ He spoke sharply, his frustration making him abrupt. Startled, she came back to earth.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Devlin said. ‘I’m not hungry.’

  ‘Well, that’s obvious,’ he remarked drily. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s the matter?’

  ‘Nothing’s the matter,’ she retorted coolly, her lips tightening.

  ‘Come off it Devlin!’ Luke snapped, more angry with himself than with
her. ‘You haven’t spoken two words all evening. Is something going wrong at CITY GIRL?’

  ‘CITY GIRL is fine.’ Devlin spoke back just as sharply, surprised at his tone. Catching his angry stare she saw a muscle jerking in the side of his jaw. Just lately there seemed to be a vague tension between them when they were outside the business environment and tonight she was not up to it. ‘I think I’d like to go home.’

  ‘Fine.’

  In silence he paid the bill, held her coat for her and walked towards the car. Grimly polite, he held the door open for her and slammed his own with more force than was necessary. They drove to her apartment without speaking. When they got there Luke said coldly, ‘I thought we were more than business partners. I thought we were friends, but obviously I was wrong. I’m sorry. Good night Devlin.’ His eyes were hard flints of amber and his anger chilled her. She had never seen him like this. Pain darkened her blue eyes and she turned her head away to hide the tears that sparkled in them. Without answering, because she was afraid she would cry, she got out of the car and ran up the steps. Hearing the angry rev of the engine, she saw the car disappear down the drive in a cloud of dust. The tears that had been welling up inside exploded down her cheeks and when she got into her apartment she leaned her head against the hard cold plane of the door and let them fall silently, warmly, wetly down her face. Oh God, if only she could have told him! She wanted to tell him more than anything and now it was too late . . .

  The doorbell, shrill and abrupt, intruded on her distress. Devlin heard his voice, deep and resonant through the intercom. ‘Let me in, Devlin!’ Luke ordered.

  Devlin knew she could fight herself no longer and she needed badly to talk to someone. She couldn’t carry it alone any more and she needed him to know, wanted him to know. She pressed the button and moments later heard the lift come purring up to her landing. Opening the door she turned away from him so he could not see her tears but he swung her around to face him and muttered an imprecation as he saw the expression on her ravaged face. ‘Ah Devlin, what’s wrong? Can’t you tell me?’ he said, horrified by the haunted pain in her eyes.