by Tanya Burr
As I mentioned earlier, Jim and I met at a house party and we swapped numbers. We had had a great evening and I enjoyed his company but I didn’t think anything more about it. The next day I had a shift in Starbucks. He had told his best friend that he really liked me, so his friend literally pushed him into the shop where I was working in an attempt to force him to come and talk to me. Jim panicked because he had never been into Starbucks as he doesn’t like coffee, but he ordered one and went to sit in the upstairs seating area. Rather than drinking the coffee, he spent the whole time nervously chewing on one of the wooden sticks they give you to mix your drink! Luckily, I was on washing-up duty, which meant I could go upstairs to collect the cups and say hello to him. Jim always says that he was rubbish with girls and would say the wrong things, but we had a good chat and he offered to wait for me to finish my shift so we could hang out afterwards.
After work, he met me and we went and stood around the nearby ice rink and watched the skaters and just chatted. Afterwards, he walked me to my bus stop and I got the bus home. He was a real gentleman and very sweet but I didn’t know it would develop into anything.
For the first week or so, we were definitely just friends. We hung out casually a few more times and, once or twice, he met me on my lunch break because he was working at an indie clothing shop called Elements nearby. If we couldn’t coordinate our lunch breaks, I would go and see him in the shop when I had my break and Jim would come into Starbucks where I would be told off for talking to him all the time when I was supposed to be washing the dishes or making coffees!
When my friend Kate asked me what I thought of him, I was unsure. I had always been attracted to the bad boys or naughty boys at school and college and I had never gone out with a guy so lovely as Jim before. Kate said she thought he was just gorgeous – both to look at and the way he looked after me, and Kate too if she was with us. By that point, we were texting all the time and it got to the point when I was really excited to get his texts, so I knew that I was starting to develop feelings for him. When my phone buzzed I would be really happy and show my friends all the texts he had sent. I loved the fact that Jim never messed around, unlike other boys I had been on dates with or texted who wanted to play it really cool the whole time. He was never over-the-top but I knew from the start that he liked me. However, he had a dodgy phone that sent every text twice – so he actually seemed a lot more keen than he had intended! It was so funny when I told him and he was mortified! We still laugh about it now.
Our first official date was to the cinema to see The Holiday with Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black and Cameron Diaz. I remember that he sat next to me with his feet up on the chair in front. He seemed nervous! He’s since said that he couldn’t concentrate on the film at all because he was wondering whether we should be talking or if he should hold my hand. I was completely oblivious and really got into the film and loved it. When the film finished, he walked me to my bus stop again and as the bus drew pulled up, I was waiting for him to kiss me, but I knew he wasn’t going to because he was shy, so I kissed him. I was wearing flat shoes and he is so much taller than me that I literally had to jump up off the pavement! I don’t think we said we were officially going out but it was after that date that I think we knew we were an item.
We fell in love really quickly. At that time, I was still at school studying for my A-Levels and Jim was at uni doing his degree. We both worked every weekend but in our free time we used to go to the cinema, eat out at Pizza Express and just hang out together. I remember that pretty early on I made him watch the whole OC box set from start to finish because I didn’t think I could go out with someone who didn’t know who Marissa, Seth and Ryan were. He claims he hated it but I think he enjoyed some bits! He was still nervous around me for a while and never wanted to eat in front of me, so we watched the box set with no food or drink for six hours!
Once I tried to impress him by taking a PlayStation game called Burnout to his house and claimed I was really good at it but I wasn’t at all. We used to spend a lot of time in his house and get takeaways with his family. Neither of us drove and because he lived in town, it was much more convenient for going to school and work.
After leaving school, I spent all my time at his house and after eight months, I eventually moved in. It was Jim who suggested I bring some more things to the house and use it as my base. Jim’s mum Judy is great. She’s really laidback and I loved being with his family. Eventually we lived at the house together for four years. When we could afford to move out, we decided to take the plunge. We really needed the space, because we used one room to film our videos, sleep in and for Jim to do his uni work in. We originally thought we’d try and buy somewhere but we worked out it would take us too much time to save for a deposit so decided to rent our own place together as a first step. We chose a converted barn in the middle of the countryside nearby. I think it was my idea because my friend Kate’s family home is a barn conversion and I have so many fantastic memories of being there. It was the first time that either of us had bought loads of furniture. We spent so much time bargain hunting for things like sofas, a bed and a washing machine. Our biggest tip when it comes to furniture shopping is to never buy things full price – Jim’s mum taught him that because Jim has a twin, John, and because she always had to buy everything twice when they were growing up she always asked for discounts. We bought most of our stuff for less than half price and our sofa was an absolute bargain.
We moved into the barn and experimented with it for a while but we weren’t really that happy there. The barn was lovely but it wasn’t very practical and although we both drove and had a car that we shared, I don’t think we realised how much we loved being in town, where we could walk to the shops or order food really easily. It also had rubbish Wi-Fi and phone signal, which made work difficult. After a year we moved out of the barn and bought our first house together not far from Jim’s family home near the centre of Norwich. We instantly loved it and really enjoyed our time together there.
We’re not a very fiery couple and don’t argue much at all. People told us that we would argue loads when we went on our three-month trip to Thailand and Australia, but if anything, we argued less than ever before. He looked out for me the whole time and would have his eye on me constantly to check I was OK. As part of our trip, we went on a sixteen-hour sleeper train from central Thailand to northern Thailand; the train carriage was filthy and tiny and there were disgusting cockroaches everywhere. The bunk beds were so narrow and had just enough space for one person, but I was too scared to sleep on my own, so Jim let me share his bunk, which wasn’t very comfortable but very sweet of him!
We had some fairly bad luck when we were travelling and I was so happy I was with Jim. We went from Bangkok to the island Koh Samui but when we arrived late one evening, there were no tourists around; it was like they knew something that we didn’t! It was raining gently but nothing could’ve prepared us for what lay ahead. The next morning we woke up to torrential rain and ended up getting trapped in the worst floods the island had seen for ten years. It was quite scary because we were staying in little huts just off the beach and the floods were so bad water was all over our floor and there was no power to charge our phones and let our families know that we were OK. There was only one luxury restaurant, which had a generator, so we went out and had the only expensive meal of our entire travels. I was quite scared but Jim is so calm in situations like that. We slept that night with our rucksacks on our bed with us, and the following morning found we couldn’t buy any breakfast because no food was able to get to the island. In the end, we got a trip back to the airport in this minibus that could barely make its way through the water. We eventually stayed at the airport and got a flight back to Bangkok. Jim was such a rock throughout the entire experience.
By the time we had been together for a few years, we each knew that the other person was ‘The One’. We were so happy together. When I first watched Twilight and saw the relationship between Bell
a and Edward, I felt like they were a couple that loved each other in the same way that I love Jim! We never really had the, ‘Shall we get married?’ talk; it was more the case that one day when we were walking past a jewellers in Norwich, there were loads of sparkly rings in the window and I went to have a look at them. Then Jim started asking me about what type of ring I would like. It was just a bit of fun; I would try rings on in some of the jewellers and we decided which shop was our favourite.
When we went to NewYork in December 2012, I had a feeling he might propose but when we arrived Jim was acting so normal. I’m such a planner and will book all our trips and where we are going to eat wherever we go, but while Jim might say he wants to do something, he never plans. I had wondered if he might propose but after a couple of days I didn’t think he was going to because he wasn’t taking control of anything. He told me afterwards that he didn’t do that because he knew I would’ve soon clocked the reason why!
I love the free feeling of being outdoors, so Jim decided to propose outside. On 12th December 2012, I suggested we go for a walk through Central Park. It was about midday and a wonderful clear day with no people around. He made the most perfect proposal: he dropped down to one knee and did a little speech, which is just between me and him but safe to say, it was very emotional and I cried a lot, but I said yes straightaway! We then went to one of the big department stores and had a drink and rang our families to tell them the news, but everyone knew! He had asked my dad and there was not one person I told who didn’t know before me – naughty Jim! He told me he had had the ring in his pocket for three days, so I didn’t stumble across it in the hotel room, and when we went to the Rockefeller Center earlier on our trip Jim kept buzzing when he went through the metal detector but managed to hide it – and the security guard just gave him a wink.
We’re planning on getting married later this year. I can’t wait to choose my dress but I haven’t been shopping yet because I’ve been so busy with work. I plan to take Mum, Tasha, Judy, Sam and Nic – it’s going to be busy in the changing room! I’m so excited about choosing it and am thinking about making some bookings at wedding dress shops. I want to go for something unique and different, not your classic wedding dress. I might totally change my mind but, at the moment, that’s the plan.
I’ve always had a thing about getting married outside, so we’re really hoping for good weather. We’re planning a really private, intimate ceremony with just sixty of our closest family and friends and I won’t be doing a video of it, but I plan to give my viewers a sneak peek at some of the aspects of the day. I’m so excited to be marrying my soulmate and favourite person in the world.
MY TOP 10
DATE IDEAS
1. ICE-SKATING/ROLLER-BLADING
I love physical dates where you can bond over how good or bad you are at the activity. If you are rubbish, it doesn’t matter because you can cling onto your date and laugh about it together.
2. CINEMA/THEATRE
This is a good option if you are nervous about making conversation because watching a film or seeing a show gives you something to talk about afterwards. If you don’t know each other very well then maybe save it for the second or third date, because the last thing you want to be doing if you’ve never met the person properly is to be sitting in a dark room not talking to each other for two hours! My favourite film is Quentin Tarantino’s True Romance; it’s so cool.
3. DINNER
Dinner is always at the top of my list when it comes to dates. I love trying out new places to eat, but do be careful what you choose to eat. In the vlog where I announced this book, Jim and I were cooking spaghetti bolognese – be warned that this is not a good choice for first date food because it makes such a mess and ends up down your chin!
4. BIKE RIDE AND PICNIC IN THE PARK
This is the perfect summer date because picnics allow for a natural and relaxed vibe. There’s no set routine, so if it’s going well, you can watch the world go by and end up chatting for hours.
5. FEEDING CUTE ANIMALS AT A FARM
There are, of course, the big zoos but for an inexpensive and relaxed day out, check out the local (city) farm. Many farms rely on visitors to stay open and there is often an opportunity to feed the goats and lambs.
6. ART GALLERIES
I really enjoy looking around art galleries at the different exhibitions and this would make a really relaxed date. London is brilliant for galleries and you can visit so many of them for free. Jim and I enjoy going to the Tate galleries and the Saatchi Gallery.
7. BEACH
The beach has always been a favourite destination of mine. Jim and I go and eat fish and chips and ice creams on Southwold Pier, so if you live near the beach and are meeting someone special, this could be the perfect place to do the same thing.
8. CLASSES
Whether it’s chocolate making, pottery classes or mixing cocktails, interactive classes are a fab way to learn something new, while also spending time getting to know someone. When we were in Thailand we went on a Thai cooking course and made spring rolls and curry paste.
9. FESTIVE FUN
One of my favourite events is Winter Wonderland in London, where they have an ice rink, circus, rides and a giant observation wheel. We wrap up warm, drink hot chocolate and have a great time. There are lots of festive events like these around the country.
10. COUNTRY PUB
I love traditional country pubs where you can get a drink and sit in front of a roaring log fire and play board games like Scrabble and Monopoly. Evenings like this can be spontaneous and really fun.
MY TOP 10
RELATIONSHIP TIPS
1. REALLY TRY TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW
It’s good to remember that everyone doesn’t think the same way as you. Just because you think about something a certain way, doesn’t mean your partner will do the same. Every person is very different and I’ve come to learn that Jim doesn’t think in exactly the way I do.
2. ALWAYS GO ON DATE NIGHTS
When you’re busy, it’s very easy to not spend enough quality time with your partner. Date nights are so important, so block out a date in your diary and make sure you spend some quality time alone together. You don’t need to go out and do anything particularly special – although that is great, too! – sometimes just sitting and chatting over a meal can be a good way of re-connecting with your partner.
3. DON’T LET YOUR LAPTOP AND PHONE COME BETWEEN YOU
If you are spending quality time with your other half, make sure you have a laptop or phone amnesty. Jim and I always make sure we put our phones away if we are going out for a nice dinner. It’s a good idea to have some no-phone zones and make sure one of these is the bedroom.
4. MAKE SMALL GESTURES
Treating each other by buying little gifts and cards can make them feel so special and appreciated. Jim knows that I hate it when a big event is over because I love having something to look forward to, and when I got back home from my lash launch at the end of last October he had put a dark-green velvet Harrods stocking on the end of my bed with some chocolate money in it. He had put a card there too, saying, ‘Christmas is coming, get excited!’
5. TRY TO BE KIND TO EACH OTHER
I think lots of couples take out their stresses and frustrations on each other and their default mode is to be like that. I think it’s really important to always try and be kind to each other. Try and be there for each other and treat each other well.
6. NEVER GO TO BED ON AN ARGUMENT
This old-school bit of advice is a really good one, I think, because going to bed when you are angry and tired is a really bad combination. Jim and I did this recently after a silly argument and I ended up lying in bed for ages feeling annoyed with him.
7. ALWAYS COMMUNICATE
If you are worried about the relationship for any reason, make sure you talk it through with your partner, so they can reassure you. Honest and open communication also ensures there are no misu
nderstandings between you.
8. ALWAYS HAVE TIME APART
When I first got together with Jim, I spent less time with my girlfriends, but I think it is so important to have separate interests and friends. Jim and I always spend time doing different things. I regularly have girls’ nights with either Kate, Maddie, Vanessa and Emma, or Niomi and Zoe, and I think this is a really good thing for my relationship.
9. KEEP IT LIGHT-HEARTED
Try to enjoy your time together and not be too serious all the time. Even if Jim is in the shower and I am brushing my teeth getting ready to go, we try to make some fun out of this time and sing silly songs.
10. SHARE CHORES
If you live together, always try to pitch in and help. There is always some stuff that you don’t like doing and some stuff that you don’t mind doing – and it is just a case of finding out what those things are. Jim likes doing the washing because he likes organising it and I do the dishwasher a lot more than him. But we do still manage to argue about mess around the house sometimes! He gets annoyed if I leave the toothpaste tube with toothpaste popping out of the top and I get frustrated with him for leaving random things like his hair gel on the dining table.
