“Both you and Lynx have blamed him for far too much over the years.”
“Yeah, and you haven’t blamed him enough.” She didn’t want to hash over this. Not again.
“You need to keep an open mind, my daughter. You’re too young to be this cynical. People make mistakes. It’s what makes them human.”
“So, I’m what? Supposed to forgive him of murder?”
“He didn’t murder your father.”
“He might as well have.” She returned the container and slammed the door to the fridge. “I gotta go. Mr. Harte is hungry.”
“Raven, I didn’t raise you to hate like this.” Fiona pursed her lips and then hit Raven with words that had the power to twist guilt like a screw in her gut. “I’m disappointed.”
There was nothing worse than having Fiona Maiski disappointed in you. She loved everyone, thought the best of everyone. Case in point, Aidan Harte resting comfortably in her place about to eat her home-cooked food.
“I’m not willing to forget, and I won’t forgive. I can’t.”
“If you don’t soften your heart, I fear for your happiness, daughter.” Another final look and Fiona turned and left the kitchen.
Hell. Aidan was back and she was fighting with her mother. The one person who truly had her back. Those qualities she’d listed earlier were the qualities that Raven counted on herself. She needed her mother to love her unconditionally, to be proud of her. Because she was a bitch to love. She knew it, and so did everyone else. And she had no intention of changing. Especially for a man. She lived perfectly fine without one. Had all these years. The only man she needed in her life was her son. And she was raising him to be a fine man, one who could handle a woman like her. Not that she wanted Fox saddled with someone like her. But if he fell in love with one, he’d know what he was in for and be able to handle it.
Raven grabbed a fork, stabbed it into the roast, and picked up the plate of food she’d gathered for Aidan and headed out of the room, snagging the plate of brownies her mother had set on the counter as she left. She didn’t need the sweets, but she was up late and having to deal with the one person she’d hoped never to see again. A few brownies didn’t even come close to making this night bearable.
Raven entered the bedroom and handed Aidan the food, keeping the plate of brownies for herself. “Here. Don’t choke on it.” Then she turned and walked around to her side of the bed and climbed in.
“I didn’t think you were coming back.”
“Scared of Eva, remember? Now eat, and shut up.” She bit into a brownie. Oh, man, her mother sure could cook. Raven felt bad for the way she’d talked to her. She’d have to apologize tomorrow. Another thing to throw at Aidan’s feet.
“Oh, wow, this is great.” Aidan chewed and swallowed. “Moose?”
“Hmm,” she agreed around the brownie in her mouth.
“I haven’t had this in years. Even cold, it’s great.”
What? He expected her to warm it up for him? He was lucky she actually fed him anything.
“Thanks, Raven. I appreciate it.”
Hell. “You’re welcome.” Now she was feeling guilty for the way she’d treated him? What was up with her? Her time of the month? No, at least she didn’t think so. She’d never been that great about keeping track. Look at Fox. That should have taught her, but then Fox was the greatest blessing she had in her life. He was the reason she got up in the morning. “Here.” She held out the plate of brownies. “Want one?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Aidan took one off the plate and bit into it, making an appreciative noise. She remembered that sound. Just like that she was eighteen again and Aidan had his hands on her.
He had magical hands. Knew right where to touch. How hard, how soft. When to push, and when to let her fly. She hadn’t been with a man since who could make her respond the way he had.
She was older. Surely, sex with him now would pale in comparison. Teenage love was always built up to be more than it was. That had to be it. Nostalgic times when life had been easy, simple, happy.
When her father had still been alive.
She set the plate of brownies on the nightstand, no longer hungry. She scooted down on the bed and pulled the covers up over her head and tried with everything in her to put Aidan Harte out of her mind.
She did a fair job of it until she fell asleep. Then her subconscious took over, the part of her who liked to dream of Aidan. It had been dreaming of him for the last twelve years and was damn good at it.
CHAPTER THREE
Aidan woke to find a pair of brown eyes regarding him from an inquisitive face.
Fox.
“Hey,” Aidan greeted, glancing to the other side of the bed. A lump was curled under the covers. In fact, the lump had stolen all the covers. Aidan cleared his throat and looked at Fox again.
“Feeling better?” Fox studied him as though he were dissecting an insect not previously found. “You look bad.”
“Okay.” Aidan rubbed his raspy jaw. A shower would do him good. A cold shower. Maybe Raven hadn’t stolen the covers. He probably kicked them off. It was hot in here. “Could you open a window?”
“It’s like ten below outside.” Fox gave him a look, questioning his intelligence.
“Sounds perfect,” he muttered. His head hurt and he needed water and the bathroom again. He sat up and the room spun before it settled back into place. He felt funky.
“You look really bad,” Fox repeated. But Aidan didn’t hold it against him as the kid handed him a glass of water.
“Thanks.” He drank the whole thing down and wished he had more. His mouth and throat felt like he’d swallowed a beach full of sand.
“So, why does everybody hate you?” Fox sat on the edge of the bed, hiking one knee up.
“You’ll have to ask them.” Aidan closed his eyes for a minute, hoping that would help his head. It didn’t. The door was open to the hallway so between the light out there and the one still on in the bathroom, there was enough to illuminate but not enough to hurt. He knew it was morning even though it was still dark outside. The sun didn’t rise this time of year until around nine-thirty or ten. And the darkness increased every day until the shortest day of the year. The winter solstice.
“You don’t know why they hate you?” Fox lifted a brow. “I might be a kid, but I’m not stupid.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. Far from it. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead right now.” He didn’t know if he should thank Fox for that or not.
“You know in some cultures, when you save a life, that life belongs to you.”
“Son, you seriously don’t want to own my life.” He sure as hell had never wanted it.
Fox seemed to pale.
“But I do owe you,” Aidan continued. Dying from exposure, while snared in a trap, or being ripped apart by wild animals would have been a horrible way to die. There were many others much more pleasant. “Thank you, Fox.”
“You’re welcome.” Fox looked away, his gaze resting on the lump that had started to stir on the other side of the bed.
Raven tossed back the blankets and poked her head out. She yawned and looked around, her eyes widening when she saw Fox.
“Fox.” She scrambled out of the bed, tugging her shirt down over her pants. “What are you doing in here?”
She actually blushed, like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have been. Sleeping with him, for instance. Aidan smiled. She looked adorable, outraged, and embarrassed, her hair mussed up and trailing down her backside in a ruffled black curtain. He’d never forget how soft and long her hair was. He was really glad she hadn’t cut it. The length became her. Gave her that wild, sexy look he’d loved.
“Mom? Did you…sleep…with Mr. Harte?”
“Mom?” Aidan asked. Fox was her son? “I thought Fox was Lynx’s son.”
Raven glared at him and dismissed him just as quickly. “Fox, we weren’t sleeping together. I stayed here last night to make sure he was going t
o be all right.” She glanced back at Aidan as though laying blame for this situation. He was too stunned from learning that Fox was her son to help her out. Besides, she was cute when she bungled.
“But you were in the same bed.” Fox looked to Aidan and stared as though seeing something Aidan couldn’t.
“It was uncomfortable in the rocking chair, so I moved to the bed.” She shrugged and tried to laugh. “It was no big deal. Have you had breakfast?”
“Yep.”
“Are you ready for school?”
“Yep.”
Raven fidgeted as though thinking hard of some other reason Fox would need to leave. Aidan finally decided to take pity on her. Besides, he needed to use the bathroom. And some more pain pills wouldn’t be out of the question. His leg throbbed to the beat of his heart.
“Guys, I need to use the facilities, if you don’t mind.”
Fox and Raven looked at him and then began moving at once. Fox handed Aidan the crutches and Raven made sure nothing was in the pathway to the bathroom and that the door was fully open.
“Do you need any help?” Fox asked, looking him over and frowning.
Man, he really must look bad. “No, I got it. Thanks.” He swung his leg over the side and reached for the crutches. When he stood, the room tipped.
“Mom!” Fox hollered. She must have been watching because she was there to help catch him as he fell.
“Whoa,” he said. His head pounded and the room spun. How much had he drunk last night? This didn’t feel like a normal hangover. He’d only been drunk a few times, not counting last night.
“You’re burning up.” Raven gave him an accusing look. “Back on the bed.” She tried to push him, but with Fox on his other side, Aidan had his balance.
“Not before I go to the bathroom.”
“Why you stubborn son of a—” She stopped her tirade and glanced at Fox.
“Don’t worry, Fox. She’s called me worse.” He thought that was really funny and began to laugh, which made his head hurt worse.
“Let’s get you to the bathroom and then right back into bed,” Raven said.
“Said like that, how am I to resist?” he said suggestively.
Raven blushed and looked away. Hmm. What did that mean? Could she still feel something for him besides hate? They said there was a fine line between love and hate. But whoever had said that, probably didn’t hate the way Raven did.
They helped him to the bathroom. Raven stood there with him next to the toilet. He raised a brow at her. “I can’t pee with you watching.”
“I don’t want you falling to the floor.”
“Just think, if I do, I might hit my head hard enough that I’d no longer be your problem.”
She pursed her lips. “Fine. Come on, Fox. Let’s give him some privacy.”
Fox looked at Aidan and then his mother. “No.” He shook his head. “I’ll stay with him.”
“I can do this on my own.” In fact, he’d be doing it in his boxers if they didn’t get out of here.
“Your life is mine, remember?” Fox continued. “I saved you. I won’t let you die now over something stupid.”
How did you argue with a kid who spoke with such wisdom? “Fine.” He looked at Raven. Seriously, she needed to leave.
“All right,” she muttered and left the room, closing the door with a snap behind her.
Fox shrugged. “Women.”
Aidan cracked a laugh. “Yeah, women.”
He emptied his bladder, flushed, and then moved to the sink to wash up. He caught his reflection in the mirror. Wow, he did look bad. His skin was red and blotchy and had a yellowish cast. His eyes were sunken with dark bags under them.
“See, I told you, you looked bad,” Fox said. “We’d better get you back to bed, before you pass out.”
“Good idea. Let me brush my teeth first.”
“What’s taking you guys so long?” Raven’s muffled voice came through the door.
“Just a second, Mom.”
Aidan grabbed for the toothbrush he’d used last night. And the room swam. He made a reach for the vanity counter.
Fox was there at his elbow, holding him steady. “I think you’d better brush you teeth sitting down.”
“I think that’s a good idea.” What was wrong with him? He sat on the turned-down toilet seat, the crutches falling to the floor. His head became too heavy to hold, and he had to rest it in his hands. There was a buzzing in his ears.
Suddenly, Raven was there, peering into his eyes, feeling his forehead with her soothing cool hand, and cussing like a broke prospector. “Fox, go and get Eva. Hurry.”
Fox scurried from the room.
“Back to bed for you.” Raven helped him to his feet. “Lean on me.” She held him up and cursed again when he fell against her.
He yelped in pain as he came down on his leg. She took his weight and somehow had the crutches under his arms.
“I can’t do this without your help, Aidan. Come on, I’ll steady you, but you’re going to have to do most of the work.”
Some part of his brain heard the worry in her voice, another heard the anger. Once again he was making her life hard. She should leave him. “Get out,” he said. He was tired of her seeing the worst of him. Believing the worst of him.
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She nudged him. “Move.”
She pushed and pulled and finally he was sinking back onto the bed. Bad breath didn’t seem as important right now as slipping back into nothingness.
Raven stood back, breathing hard. Holy shit, Eva was going to kill her. The heat coming off Aidan felt like a stoked wood stove. She grabbed the thermometer from the nightstand, shook it and placed it under his arm. He’d had a slight fever during the night, but that was to be expected after the trauma he’d been through. But this…this was more. This meant there was something really wrong. She glanced out the window. It was still dark…and still snowing. No heading into Fairbanks.
She should have watched him closer. Regardless of how she felt about him, she should have kept a better eye on him.
“What’s wrong?” Fiona asked rushing into the room. “Fox hollered something as he rushed out.”
“Aidan’s got a fever. He can’t even stay on his feet.” She shared a worried look with her mother.
Aidan’s head tossed back and forth on the pillow. “Fine,” he said, his voice weak. “I’ll be fine.”
“Right.” Raven wanted to smack him. “Why didn’t you say you weren’t feeling well?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, his eyes closed. “Nothing matters anymore.”
“Oh, my.” Fiona reached down and placed her forearm on his forehead. “A hundred and three. We need to get him cooled down right away. I’ll get some ice.” She rushed out of the room.
A hundred and three? Come on. Raven grabbed the thermometer from under Aidan’s arm. A hundred and three. How did she do that?
“Tell me,” Eva demanded, blowing into the room, shedding her coat and hat, snowflakes falling to the floor in her wake.
Raven passed over the thermometer.
“Hmm,” Eva said as she read it. “Bummer.” She sighed. “I must have left something in there.”
Fox entered. “Is he going to be all right?”
Raven’s heart clenched. When she’d awoken and seen her son talking with his father it had thrown her. Why couldn’t life have turned out that way? Waking to see her men having a conversation. She buried the thought. It would do no good to wish for what might have been. She needed to deal with what was. And right now her son was worried that the man he’d saved from death was journeying toward it again.
“Do you think a patient of mine would dare not get better?” Eva asked. When Fox shook his head and released a breath, Eva smiled and mussed his hair. “Right. Now, I need you to go to school. No.” She shook her head when he went to interrupt. “The best thing you can do for me is to go to school. Aidan needs rest. He’ll be better when you get home. Oka
y?”
“Promise?” Fox asked, worrying his lower lip.
“I’ll do my best. No way will Aidan disappoint the both of us. Got it?”
Fox took a deep breath. “Okay.” He turned to Aidan who was out cold on the bed. He leaned over and whispered something in his ear that Raven couldn’t hear. Then her son turned and faced her, his young eyes serious. “Take care of him, Mom. He needs us.”
She felt like she’d just taken an arrow to the heart. When had her young boy become so wise? He’d always been smart, but there was a difference between smart and wise. She wrapped her arms around him, his head already even with hers. Another year and he’d be taller than her. He’d gotten those genes from his father. “I love you, Fox.” She kissed his cheek. “Now, don’t worry. Eva’s right. Aidan wouldn’t dare disobey her.”
Fox gave each woman a solemn look before leaving the room.
“He’s gotten attached to his stray,” Eva said.
Raven nodded. Fox was notorious for bringing home wounded animals.
“All right, Eva. What do we do?”
“What?” She raised a brow. “Volunteering?”
“No. Just…no.”
Eva laughed. “That was well said.”
“Listen. I just want him out of here. And that won’t happen if he’s not better. You know Mom, she’ll insist he stay.”
“Let me get this straight.” Eva opened her bag and took out supplies to change Aidan’s bandages. “You and Lynx hate him for his part in your dad’s death, but Fiona doesn’t?”
“She doesn’t have it in her to hate anyone.”
“She hated Earl Harte.”
Raven frowned. “Yeah, but…everyone hated Earl.”
“Fiona wouldn’t hate someone because everyone else did.” Eva soaked a gauze pad with alcohol and lowered Aidan’s boxer short past his hips. “What’s this? I don’t remember seeing it last night.”
“What’s wrong?”
“This tattoo. Look.” She pointed to the tattoo of a sun on Aidan’s hip.
Raven caught her breath. She had a corresponding tat in the same area. She and Aidan had gotten them together when they were young and stupid, twelve years ago. She took another arrow to the heart at seeing the sun on his hip.
SHIVER Page 4
