Zoe and Will have separated sitting on opposite ends of the table by the time Jared and I sit down to join them. The tension between them is so thick it’s almost suffocating. I’m tempted to ask what’s going on, but the look Will gives me conveys the issue is off limits.
From the corner of my eye I see Kat sitting with Amber again. Both of them stare at me with distaste. My heart breaks at the thought of Kat hating me and replacing me with Amber.
Enough is enough.
I’m going to go talk to her and she’s going to listen.
I hope.
Standing up with a confidence I’m not sure of, I march over to Kat’s new table of friends. She looks me up and down, her face smug. “Can we talk?” I ask.
Her eyes shift from me to Jared and Will sitting at our old table. “I don’t have anything to talk to you about.”
“Please Kat. This is all a misunderstanding. If you would just let me explain.”
Kat turns fully in her seat, facing me. “Okay. How ‘bout you start with what happened at Frank’s. You tell me you’re not interested in Will, but then you won’t tell me why he was at your house. You say there is nothing going on between the two of you, but then he’s running after you. Then all of a sudden all the windows are exploding and you two are ducking for cover before it ever even happens. And then afterwards you take off with him on the back of his motorcycle, so explain Hanna, because I’m all ears.”
Words stick in my throat and I don’t know what to say. Not with everyone at her table staring at me. And not without telling her the whole truth because the half-truth excuses I got are not going to cut it. “Can we go someplace private to talk about this?”
“Hanna!” Will yells my name across the cafeteria, dashing any hopes I had at talking to Kat. She glares at me, her eyes narrowing into tiny slits.
“Can we talk later?” I ask already knowing her answer will be a big fat no. I’m stupidly hopeful anyway.
“Your boyfriend is calling.” Her tone is spiteful. She turns her back to me.
Amber leans in towards Kat. “Don’t you mean boyfriends? Let’s not forget that disgusting display between Hanna the Slut and Jared the other day in the hall.” Amber glances up at me judging my reaction with a slight smile on her arrogant face.
Kat laughs; the pain of it shatters me. Kat’s supposed to be my friend. She’s supposed to defend me against bitches like Amber not laugh with them. What little part of me that’s hanging on to our friendship wants to shrivel up and die.
I turn to go, and just like before in my room when Adam tossed his phone at me, time seems to slow down. I become super aware of everything. My surroundings become sharper, my senses more focused. I hear something moving through the air behind me. I turn suddenly, swiftly, catching the sailing cupcake with such precision, I don’t even get icing on my fingers. Amber’s snickering comes to a halt, her mouth hanging open. Everyone within close proximity stops what they’re doing to stare.
I look to Kat. She staring too, her eyes questioning and suspicious. I shrug then take a big bite of cupcake. What else can I do?
“Hanna!” Will yells my name again, his voice irritated and disapproving. Kat and Amber continue to stare at me open mouthed as I turn to leave.
“What was with the cupcake stunt? You shouldn’t be flaunting your abilities like that, you’ll attract unwanted attention,” Will says clearly not amused, as I sit down.
“They threw a cupcake at my head. What was I supposed to do? Let it hit me. I don’t think so.”
Jared takes the rest of the cupcake from my hand shoving it into his mouth. “I thought it was pretty cool.”
“Feel free to help yourself there.” He looks like a chipmunk with his cheeks stuffed full of cupcake and I laugh.
“Forget about the cupcake. We have more important things to deal with like finding Emily’s journal,” Zoe says intensely. She glances at her brother. “Will and I broke into Thomas’s office last night to see if the journal was there someplace but—”
“It wasn’t,” I interrupt.
“How did you know that?” Zoe asks.
Three pairs of eyes stare at me.
“Sam showed me. I went into one of his memories last night. He took the journal.”
“Did you see what he did with it?” Will asks, his full attention on me.
“Or what was in it?” Zoe adds eagerly.
“No.” They both lean back in their chairs deflated. “Sorry guys. I know that doesn’t help you with finding it.”
“No, it does,” Will reassures me. “We know that Sam took it, so that gives us a place to start.”
“Yeah. He probably hid it somewhere in his room or something.” Zoe glances at her watch, her fingers drumming against the tabletop.
“That’s not all that happened last night.” I take a deep breath. “Blondie paid me a visit.” Will’s head snaps up, deep blue eyes locking onto me. “I fell asleep in the living room,” I continue. “And he got in my head.” I rub over the thin fabric of my shirt, careful not to actually touch the symbol. The way Blondie broke my arm by ripping through it with his fingernails replays in my head.
I’m about to tell Will about it when his phone rings. He pulls it from his back pocket, glances at the caller ID then gets up. “I have to take this, but I’ll come over after school to put up more protection symbols around your house.”
I turn to Zoe ready to tell her instead, but she’s so antsy and distracted that I doubt she’d hear anything I’d say. Unable to sit still one moment longer she abruptly stands shoving her chair into the table somewhat forcibly. “I just remembered, I have this assignment I’m supposed to make up before the end of the day, so I’m going to go do that.” She pulls out her phone punching in a number before bringing it to her ear as she leaves the cafeteria.
“Guess it’s just you and me,” Jared says with a smile.
***
For the second day in a row Kat’s not in art class. Part of me is sad about that and part of me is glad to not have to feel the sting of her immediate rejection.
I set up my area only half listening to Miss. Willows instructions. There’s just too many things running through my mind to really pay attention. Things like why Kat isn’t here. Is it simply because she hates me so much right now that she can’t stand the sight of me? Or is it because she’s with Amber and they’re finding some new way to attack me because writing whore on my locker and throwing cupcakes at the back of my head isn’t enough?
Sighing, I look around the classroom noticing that everyone around me has already started painting. I tap Rain on the shoulder. “What is the assignment?”
“Free choice.”
“Thanks.” I add some colors to my palette, ordering myself to stop thinking about Kat and how stupid our fight is. It doesn’t stick. Is she really going to throw away our friendship over a boy I’m not dating? If she wants Will Jensen she can have him. I’m not stopping her. Or is it really Jared she wants because if that’s the case, why is she hanging out with Amber Bradford?
Stop thinking about it, I command myself.
Filling my lungs with a deep breath, I close my eyes letting thoughts of Kat go. I can’t keep wasting my time thinking about a stupid fight that will probably blow over as soon as she finds a new boy to crush on anyway. Unfortunately, freeing my mind of Kat only leaves it wide open for thoughts of Blondie to seep in. Scary thoughts. Thoughts like what he could have done to the symbol last night when he whispered over it.
I wish I’d gotten a chance to talk to Will about it.
I wish none of this were happening at all.
“Painter’s block?” Rain says beside me, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“What?”
“You’ve been staring at your blank canvas for like fifteen minutes.”
“Oh,” I half laugh. “No, I was just thinking about some stuff. Guess I kind of forgot where I was.” She laughs at my absentmindedness then goes back to working on her own painting.
When my mind is free of everything, I start to paint, letting myself get completely immersed it. Colors and shapes take form effortlessly. I don’t even really need to think about what it is I’m painting. It’s like my hands just know what to do on their own. Once it’s completed my hand falls to my side and I’m left staring at a third painting of the black winged angel.
In this one the angel’s head is tilted back, his eyes closed against the sun piercing through the swirls of red and black that once held him captive. With his arms outstretched to the sky above, his dark wings are spread out in flight.
He’s truly free now.
A sudden pain stabs at my wrist and it’s all I can do to not scream out. Barely visible pale blue light blazes to life under my sleeve. Beads of sweat pop up on my forehead, nausea churning my stomach. Something’s wrong. It’s never felt like this before.
A fire rages under my skin just below the surface of the symbol intensifying until the whole length of my arm is consumed by it. A small sound of anguish escapes my mouth and I bite my lip hard trying to prevent any more from getting out. Rain looks at me oddly.
Sam’s memories start to pull me under, leaving the world to sway unfocused around me. I drop my paintbrush, my fingers digging into the underside of the table. It’s the only thing holding me upright.
I have to get out of here, because if I don’t…
I bolt from the classroom, my hand trailing along the wall of lockers to hold myself steady. Stumbling into the bathroom my world and Sam’s memories start to collide until I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not, if I’m me, or if I’m him. I close my eyes trying to hold onto myself. Opening them a crack the bathroom comes into a hazy focus. I’m me. For now.
After making sure that I’m alone, I shove a trashcan in front of the door lodging it under the handle. If somebody were to walk in right now there’s no way I would be able to explain what’s happening. I don’t even know what’s happening.
I bite back another cry of pain as the world tilts and sways in full force. I fall to my knees shoving up my sleeve with trembling fingers. The symbol doesn’t look like it should. It’s darker. Wrong, almost sinister. Burning pain flares, searing to the point that I’m expecting my skin to scorch and peel away. It doesn’t. It remains smooth and unblemished with the exception of tiny dark blue almost black veins slinking out from underneath the mark. The veins weave, wrapping around and around my arm like a twisted vine devouring everything it touches as it moves upward.
I grab the sink hauling myself up to face my reflection in the mirror. The twisting veins are up my neck now, spreading to the side of my face. My chest becomes heavy making every breath an effort. A shock of electricity surges through me as my knees buckle. I fall hitting my head on the edge of the sink on the way down. Darkness washes over me.
The memory crushes into me and I’m Sam, but then just as quick, I’m ripped away and Sam and I are separate. Instead of being him, I’m watching him. Someone or something else is in control and I’m frozen in place as the memory passes in front of me moving in fast-forward. Sam with the journal, then Sam at the church, and then finally Sam hiding the journal under the gazebo. Sam looks up and I swear he sees me. His mouth opens like he’s about to say something, but before he can everything goes black.
I’m nowhere and everywhere all at once. Images and memories from Sam’s life along with my own life flicker in and out of existence in the darkness until one image becomes clearer and more focused than the rest.
My parents.
They’re smiling and welcoming me with open arms. Unbearable happiness consumes my very being as I float toward them. Their arms surround me, hugging me tightly. I hug them back, never wanting to let go.
“I’ve missed you guys so much,” I say. Those six words are not enough. A million words wouldn’t be enough.
My mom kisses the top of my head then runs her hand down the length of my hair. I smile, so happy to feel her touch.
“Hanna.”
Someone far away calls my name. I don’t want to listen because my parents are here and I’m afraid that if I answer they’ll disappear.
My father looks at me. His warm smile makes me forget the voice. I never want to be separated from them again. I want to stay here forever.
“Hanna. Please come back.”
The voice is stronger now. Pleading. I dare a glance over my shoulder. All I see is darkness. I turn back to my parents wanting to relish in their embrace longer only to find that they’re further away. How can that be when they were just right here? My heart breaks in their absence and I yell for them to come back, but no sound comes out. My dad lifts a hand in a small wave while my mom buries her face into his shoulder.
“Please Hanna. Don’t leave me.”
The voice is louder now; full of anguish, so much so that I feel the pain of it and that pain pulls me back.
My chest hurts as it expands with air forced into my lungs. I cough and gasp, opening my eyes. Everything is too bright, too harsh, and I have to blink several times before I can see.
“Thank God.” Jared gathers me up into his arms, his hands shaking against my back. “I thought I’d lost you.”
Lost me? Had I been dying? Is that why I saw my parents?
I struggle to hold onto their faces, but the memory of seeing them, of being wrapped in their arms, is fading.
Jared takes my face in his hands, his bright green eyes gazing so deep into mine that I’m sure he can see right to my soul. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” He kisses me just once hard on the mouth then scoops me up in his arms. Holding me close to his chest he carries me out of the bathroom. It’s only then that I see the crowd of people staring at us.
What exactly happened to me?
What I saw of Sam’s memory rushes to the front of my mind. My heart begins to slam against my chest in full panic mode. This was Blondie’s doing. Somehow he’s found a way to use the symbol to force Sam’s memories in a way that he can control.
“Jared, put me down.” He lowers me to my feet in the middle of the hallway with everyone around us whispering and staring. Wanting to get away from all the prying eyes, I grab his hand leading him out of the building.
“What happened to you in there?” He says once we’re around to the side of the building. “When I found you, you were on the floor and you weren’t breathing. I had to perform CPR on you. It was the scariest moment of my life thinking that I’d lost you. And that,” he points at the symbol on my wrist, “that was all wrong.”
I shove my sleeve up the rest of the way examining the mark, remembering the way those dark blue veins slithered out from underneath it in the bathroom right before everything went to hell. It looks normal now, pale blue and smooth just like it should be. Whatever those dark blue veins were, they’re gone now.
“I think Blondie did something to it. I think he’s found away to get inside Sam’s memories with me.” I grab ahold of Jared’s arm startling him. “Blondie knows where the journal is. Find Will and meet me at the old church. I have to get there before Blondie does.”
I start toward the parking lot when Jared grabs my hand stopping me. “Are you crazy? You can’t go out there alone. What if Blondie’s already there?”
The combination of my own fear at that very real possibility along with the fear I see in Jared’s eyes almost makes me reconsider.
Almost.
“I can’t let Blondie get the journal. Who knows what could happen if he gets it before we do.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
“No. I need you to find Will. I’ll be fine. I’m supernaturally gifted now remember. But you’re not and I don’t want to have to worry about you getting hurt.”
He starts to argue that he doesn’t want me to get hurt either and I understand where he’s coming from, I do, but I don’t have time to argue with him. For every moment wasted, Blondie gets one step
closer to getting what he wants. “I’m sorry Jared. I have to go.” Leaving him in the distance, I run down the hill towards my car.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I’m too late.
I’m too late.
I’m too late.
The gazebo is in ruins and I’m too late.
Blondie has the journal because I’m too late.
I sift through the rubble anyway holding on to the hope that I’ll find it so desperately that it hurts. But my hands are empty because I’m too late and the journal is gone.
My phone rings causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. Jared’s face smiles at me from the display.
“It’s gone,” Is all I can say when I answer.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I’m lying. I’m not fine because I was too late and now the bad guy has the advantage. “Did you find Will?”
“No. I ran after you. But I did try to call him and Zoe both. No one answered.”
“Where are you?”
“Right behind you.”
Hanging up, I look over my shoulder to see him coming up the path along the side of the church. In this moment all I want to do is run to him. Feel his arms around me. Forget that I failed.
“Jared, I…”
“Don’t ever run off like that again.” He’s angry. I take a step back. “Do you have any idea what you just put me through? I barely had enough time to process the fact that you nearly died back at school before you ran off into who knows what. What if Blondie had been here waiting? What if you had gotten hurt?” His hands are shaking at his sides, his face a mix of anger and relief.
“I’m sorry. I…”
“Ugh.” He takes his cap off then runs his fingers through his hair pulling at the ends, clearly frustrated. “Don’t you get it?” Dropping his cap he closes the distance between us. His eyes lock onto mine, a sea of emotions raging behind them as he takes my face into his hands. “I love you.” And then he’s kissing me and I’m kissing him and nothing else matters.
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