“B cut the shit,” he said. “You’re acting like nobody wants you.”
“And you're acting like I have dudes lined up for a prime spot! Why don't you show me all these guys who supposedly want me?”
He scoffed. “How about you just wait and see how your little hot-in-the-pants pictures come out?”
“Wow,” I giggled. “My little hot-in-the-pants pictures, is that what we're calling them?
“I'm just calling it like I see it. They’re certainly not a family-friendly-neighborhood-bike shop look.”
“I was wearing blue, which is entirely family-friendly. Blue is a primary color.”
Raf shook his head, accepting his fresh drink from the bartender and taking a long swig. “Trust me B. There ain't shit primary about you in that lingerie.”
I sucked my teeth. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
Raf chuckled, wrapping his arm around my neck to pull me into him so he could kiss my forehead again.
Always with the fucking forehead kisses, as if he hadn't put a real one on me last night.
“Ain't no it's whatever,” he said, right into my ear.
“And we've established that you have to say that, didn't we?”
“We established no such thing,” he grunted against my ear, so close that his lips brushed my skin. “Anybody you let close enough to see you in some shit like that…I hope they understand it's a damn privilege.”
I bit my lip, still looking ahead instead of turning my gaze in his direction.
“Would you?” I asked.
I could feel him looking at me, feel the intensity of his dark eyes boring into me.
Trying to see through me.
“Don't doubt that either,” he said, still close as hell, letting his lips brush my neck. Just gently… enough to be a mistake. Enough for it to just be that he didn't realize how close to me he was.
But then he did it again… a firmer brush this time.
Purposeful.
I shuddered as he pressed, actually kissing me there, in that delicate curve of my neck. His arm around me drew closer as his tongue flicked against my skin in a quick motion that made my thighs clench. He did that again, trailing his way up my ear, nipping my earlobe before he traveled back down.
What the hell is this?
Once again, I was confused as hell about the difference in this exchange of energy between us - but I sure as hell didn't want it to stop. I leaned further into him, biting my lip to stifle a moan as he sucked my sensitive flesh between his teeth. Kissing and biting me like we were… anything else.
Not friends.
There was nothing friendly about this.
He pulled away, cupping his fingers under my chin. I expected him to say something, but he didn’t - he just kept staring at me. So finally… I broke the silence between us.
“Maybe we should head back to our cabin.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his eyes dark with lust. “Maybe so.”
So…
That was what we did.
The walk back to the cabin was silent, charged with a nervous, electric sort of arousal that was utterly foreign to me when it came to Raf. Once we arrived, we lingered inside the front door, neither of us knowing what to do – how to move forward with this unspoken agreement we seemed to have made.
“What the hell is this?” I blurted out, stepping back to put some distance between us.
Raf shrugged. “How many times do I have to tell you… I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore. With my career, with my parents, with my life. With you. With anything.”
“Then why would we… do this?” I asked. “We’re friends. We’ve always been friends.”
“If that’s what you want—”
“Is it not what you want?” I interrupted, eyes wide. “You want something different?”
He huffed. “I don’t know what I want. You’re the one with her head together, B. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“My head is not together,” I denied. “Maybe before you kissed me it was, but now I know what your lips feel like, and… you’ve got me all confused. Because I… I can’t stop thinking about them. Can’t stop wondering about more, and you’re acting like… like this is fine.”
“You think this is easy for me?” he countered. “I can’t get the taste of your lips out of my mouth. Can’t keep my mind from wandering, wanting to taste the others—”
“Do you see?!” I shrieked. “That should completely freak me out! You, my best friend in the world talking about wanting to taste my pussy, and I… why does that turn me on?”
Raf’s long, powerful legs ate up the distance between us, but he stopped just short of touching me. “Because maybe you want this more than you want to admit.”
“And what if it’s a mistake? How do we know we aren’t just… completely messing our friendship up?”
“We don’t.”
Two little words that… certainly weren’t meant as a deterrent. It was a volley, lobbing the ball back to me for an impossible decision – one that a week ago wasn’t the vaguest possibility.
It wasn’t even a consideration.
Now though, out of nowhere, there was undeniable… heat. Or maybe it wasn’t as out of nowhere as it felt right now – perhaps just suppressed under the weight of a friendship that meant everything to me.
“We never did light the fireplace.”
Those words, from Raf’s lips, came from so far left of our immediate conversation that I frowned.
“What?”
“The fireplace,” he said, stepping around me to move in that direction. “It was one of the things you talked about doing – one of your to-do list items, remember? Cider in front of the fire. We can’t leave without doing it.”
I shook my head. “Raf, I—”
“The cider, B,” he interrupted, in a firm tone that didn’t invite any argument. “You asked for it on the reservation, so it’s already in the fridge. Get it.”
I did.
I got the cider, and he lit the fire, and we sat together on the couch in front of it, as if we hadn’t walked back to this cabin with entirely different intentions. Of course I didn’t know what to say, because I never did lately, it seemed.
“Prom night,” he spoke, finally, his voice thick with quiet nostalgia. “That was the night I was finally going to say something.”
I pulled my gaze from the roaring fire to look at his profile – admiring the glow of the fire on his golden skin as he stared into it.
“Say something about what?”
The corners of his mouth pulled into a smile before he turned my way. “About the fact that I was in love with you.”
I frowned, confused. Raf and I had gone to our senior prom together as friends – he’d never given me the slightest hint of anything more. And just when I was about to tell him so – to remind him of how that night had been, he spoke again first.
“But you… you were just… so damned grateful,” he said, giving a bitter edge to that last word. “I’d asked you to go to prom with me, and you… you never considered that it was anything other than benevolence. You never wasted an opportunity to express what a good friend you thought I was – especially that night. You were so fucking beautiful in that mint green dress, thanking me. You were beyond certain, that there was somebody else I’d rather have on my arm, but you loved that I was a good enough friend to… sacrifice my night. To make sure you had yours. You remember that?”
I wet my dry lips with my tongue, and nodded. “Of course I remember our prom – it’s one of my favorite high school memories.”
Honestly.
He’d picked me up in a limo, and brought me a corsage, and lavished me with attention. I’d felt like royalty the whole time, because of him. At a time when my confidence was at a particularly low point.
“It’s one of my worst,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I had worked up all this courage, was going to tell you the truth – that I wanted to be more than your friend. Sean use
d to tease me about it – calling it a crush. I never had a crush on you though. I was in love with you. But you were so fucking adamant, that I… I just couldn’t do it. You needed me to be your friend, so that’s what I remained.”
“You can’t be serious,” I told him, letting out a dry laugh. “Raf, you’d grown out of your awkward stage, by senior year. You were this tall, gorgeous boy with curly hair and an Italian accent – you could have any girl you wanted. I’m supposed to believe that out of everyone, you chose me?”
“Why the fuck not?!” he snapped, moving in closer to me. “Why, B? I wanted you then – hell, I want you now.”
“Raf-”
“Do not downplay what I’m saying to you.”
I huffed. “I’m not, but you’ll have to forgive me for wondering what the hell this is, and where it’s coming from,” I said. “We left the bar to come back here for a reason, and now you’re coming with this?!”
“So what – you think I’m saying this to you to get some ass?” he asked, glaring at me. “As far as I was concerned, that wasn’t even an option anymore – I did the fire and shit for the exact opposite reason. To cut the tension, and make you happy again!”
“How the hell was I supposed to know that?”
“Why the hell wouldn’t you?!” Raf growled. “B… I love you.” He took my face in his hands, holding me in place and forcing me to look at him. “I love you,” he repeated. “And if you think I’d set up some little corny scenario just to get some ass from you… damn. I can’t seem to stop fucking up.” He dropped his hands from my face, and shook his head.
When he stood up, it felt like the world was ending.
He was only a few steps away when I jumped up after him, grabbing his arm to stop his forward motion.
“This is going completely wrong,” I said, when he turned to face me.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “It is. And it’s my bad, I shouldn’t have—”
I didn’t give him a chance to get the rest of that out.
I threw my arms around his neck, pulling myself up to kiss him, trusting that he’d catch me and balance us.
He did.
His strong arms anchored around my waist, hauling me closer as he kissed me back – yet another completely different kiss. Bruising and raw, filled with all the unfiltered passion neither of us was interested in holding back any longer.
He pulled me to the floor, and of course I went along with it – I would have gone along with a lot for more of his apple-cider flavored kisses. This time, when he brought his mouth to my neck to kiss and suck there, awkwardness didn’t cross my mind at all.
It just felt good.
It wasn’t that I was no longer confused about this shift between us – I was confused as hell.
Baffled.
But my desire for this – this intimacy with Raf – was crystal clear.
There wasn’t a single thing I wanted more.
There wasn’t a single thing that could possibly be better than the weight of Raf on top of me, covering every visible inch of me with kisses before he moved on to uncover more.
We traded kisses back and forth as we undressed each other. When we were done, none of the usual self-consciousness crept in – I had zero desire to put out the lights, or cover myself up, not with Raf looking at me like he wanted to swallow me whole.
He was beautiful.
I couldn’t say he was as imagined, because I’d never allowed myself to follow that trail of thought. Seeing him though… it was an experience. He was tall and well-muscled, with powerful thighs and a sculpted chest and stomach, and… a dick.
Raf’s dick was something I’d never considered.
But of course, I had to now, and it was as well made as the rest of him – thick and beautifully veined. We spread out the blanket from the couch, making ourselves comfortable on top of it.
Me on my back.
Raf on top of me, resting between my parted legs.
Skin to skin.
Closer than we’d ever been before.
…
It was perfect.
I watched, spellbound, as Raf sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, hard enough that my eyes fluttered closed in reaction to the moment of pain before the pleasure. When I opened my eyes, his gaze was on mine, gauging my response as he sucked again – this time, it was so good that my back arched away from the floor.
His eyes glittered in triumph.
It went on like that, with his mouth on me, sucking and licking and kissing and biting to find all the most pleasurably sensitive areas on my body. He teased me everywhere, from my collarbone to my belly button, and then dipped lower, spreading my legs wide. He rained kisses along the insides of my thighs, nibbled along the bottom cuff of my ass cheeks, tortured me with feather-light licks to all my sensitive places, working me into a ball of nerves, ready to beg.
And then, he closed his mouth over me.
My head rocked back, eyes snapping closed as he lapped me with his tongue, slipping and sliding through my slick, hypersensitive folds. I couldn’t help myself from digging a hand into his hair, burying my fingers in his curls as I rocked my hips in time with the attention from his mouth.
It was blissful.
Tension coiled deep in my belly as he pressed his face deeper between my legs, hooking my thighs over his shoulders. I clenched my eyes tight, halfway certain that I was going to – that I had to – explode from the overwhelming pleasure.
And so I did.
I came hard, with both hands dug into his hair, thighs clenched so tight around his neck it was a wonder he could breathe – he seemed content though, happily slurping and licking me clean as the orgasm wracked my body.
I was still practically vibrating when he started kissing his way back up my stomach. By the time he made it up to my neck, I’d managed to open my eyes. I grinned when he brought his face back in line with mine.
“What?” I asked, curious about the supremely satisfied look in his eyes.
“Stracciatella,” he murmured, against my lips. “I always knew you’d be sweet to the taste buds.”
I barely had time to absorb those words before he plunged into me, taking my breath away with that one, intensely deep stroke. My mouth fell open, and stayed that way as he started moving, overwhelmed by how insanely good he felt.
How perfectly we fit together.
Like it was meant to be.
He captured my mouth in a kiss as he sank into me again, caressing my tongue in tandem with his strokes. I draped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer – wanting to get as close as I could as he buried himself deep enough in me to fuse us together.
I wouldn’t have minded being stuck like this with him.
That was just how amazing he felt, how perfect this was.
I didn’t want it to end.
I never wanted it to end, never wanted to know what life was like without Raf inside me. He hooked my legs over the bend of his arm, then over his shoulders, going impossibly, perfectly deeper, so deep I’d swear I felt him from my fingertips to my toes, and every single nerve ending that lay between.
That familiar tightness built in my stomach as he plunged, faster, as sweat built between us and our moans and groans of pleasure filled the room. He didn’t take his mouth from mine, kissing harder as he stroked me harder. Faster, harder, deeper, until… again, I exploded.
I felt it everywhere, in a million tiny bursts of pleasure at once that snatched away my ability to breathe, think, see, to do anything except… feel.
And I felt magnificent.
Another burst of pleasure rushed through me as he plunged into me one last time, grunting his way through his own explosion as my body milked him.
“Holy shit,” he breathed, mirroring my exact thoughts as he collapsed on top of me.
Neither of us moved – we just went back and forth, trading space for our chests as our breathing calmed to a normal rhythm. After a while, he rolled off of me but stayed close, pulling the
blanket around our naked bodies.
I had no desire to move.
No desire to leave this moment, to leave this space where we’d just irreparably changed the course of our friendship. I just wanted to stay right here, with no regard for… whatever came next.
I wasn’t ready yet to consider anything else.
Chapter Nine
It was surreal.
Actually waking up with B in my bed was wholly different from the idea of it.
Britt and I had slept in the same bed before, platonically, so there was no particular intrigue attached to her merely being there.
It was all in the details.
She was naked.
Because that was how we'd fallen asleep after finally pulling ourselves up from in front of the fire, putting it out, taking a shower.
Going another round.
This was how we ended up, the very best of friends, naked in bed together.
B was beautiful.
I know I thought that a lot, but seriously.
Britt was fucking beautiful.
I could tell she didn't think I knew she was awake yet, but I’d been watching the slow rise and fall of her bare breasts for at least an hour before her breathing pattern changed as she woke. Admiring the patchwork of black and white that to me, made her even more beautiful - more unique. Not to fetishize her, but visually, the contrast of deep brown and stark white that made up the expanse of skin covering her breasts, stomach, arms, thighs… everywhere.
It was striking.
I hated that she didn't see the beauty in that difference.
But I’d never front like I didn't understand. People could be cruel, and more than that, they could be ignorant. Even worse… they could be both things at once.
I knew firsthand how much of that B had been subjected to, especially during that ultra-sensitive period that was junior high and high school.
The teasing, the stares, the whispers, and just weird ass behavior in general - all that shit imprinted on her, and I'd personally dried many of her tears about it.
But we were off that shit now.
As far as I was concerned, I was going to be there for her in a way that counteracted every lousy relationship, every fake ass friend, every fuckboy she’d dealt with.
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