by Blue Kincaid
She cut him a glare. “You didn’t exactly tell the truth, either.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re right. You want honesty, Drew? I was afraid to tell you the whole story because – ”
“Because you knew I’d be mad and then you wouldn’t get to fuck me anymore.”
Bas lifted his brows, his expression almost the same one a parent might give a child throwing an irrational temper tantrum. It infuriated her even more. “Sweetheart, if you think any of this was about sex, then I don’t even know what to say to you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, since you haven’t seen fit to actually tell me what it was about, then you’ll just have to suffer my stupidity, won’t you?” Jerk. She glared out the passenger window, the ball of hurt and sadness she’d been nursing growing stronger inside her.
“Dammit, Drew, I chose you that night because he is fucking dangerous and the idea of him hurting you – the way he did other people I love – made me a little crazy. Maybe I didn’t make the best choices, but if I fucked up I did it for the right reasons.”
Drew barely heard the last part, though. She was busy stuck on… “Love?”
Chapter Fourteen
Sebastian laughed. “Did you even hear anything else I said?”
She shook her head. “No. Love?”
He let out a sigh. “And here’s where I wish I wasn’t driving.” He reached over one hand to take hers, squeezing. “Yes. Love. Not that night, no, but now…yes.”
It was like being body slammed by The Rock. She didn’t even know how to react or respond because of all the things she’d imagined he had to say on this little jaunt, that wasn’t even on the list.
“Still breathing over there?” he teased after a minute of silence.
“Y…Yes. So wait…no, you’re not going to distract me with that. I mean, okay a little, but…”
“He didn’t just sleep with my best friend’s girl. He targeted her. Set out to take her, even though she was already taken. I’m not excusing Katie, she made her own choices, but Chad knew she was taken, knew they were engaged. Would she maybe have cheated anyway, just with another guy? Maybe. If it hadn’t been him, it might have been someone else.”
“And how is any of that different than what you did with me? You set me up, Sebastian!” That was really the core of her hurt. “I feel so stupid, so manipulated. I’ve been falling in love and believing everything was this magical twist of fate where the stars aligned, and then I find out you were the one who aligned them. You stacked the deck and I was the chump always ending up holding the losing cards.”
Bas’s brows furrowed. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I hurt you. I knew you’d be angry, yes. I knew you’d never want to see me again. I thought it was worth it as long as you didn’t go back to him, as long as you knew, when we were over, that he was never the right Dom for you and had the knowledge to find one who was.”
He made her head spin. Was any of that true? That he’d done all of this to protect her? Had he been willing to lose her in order to keep her safe? It sounded terribly romantic, but so many things didn’t make sense.
“Then why are you here, bullying me, kidnapping me for all intents and purposes, and not just letting your little plan run its course?”
The smile Bas gave her didn’t make any sense either. He was the most confusing man she’d ever met.
“Why are you grinning at me?”
He shrugged. “Because you remind me so much of December and I finally understand why Harry sometimes goes days without speaking to anyone or even leaving the damn house – because you make me want to hole up and never come out so I don’t have to share you with anyone.”
It was really unfair that he kept saying the most romantic things when she was trying very hard to still be mad at him. She couldn’t help the soft sigh she let out. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” He glanced in the rearview quickly, like maybe he wanted to pull over, then seemed to change his mind. “You remind me of her because she asked me the same thing the other night. She said Bas, why aren’t you happy, if this was your plan the entire time?”
Drew held her breath, cutting him a sideways glance. “And what did you say?”
He met her eyes briefly. “Plans change. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you. I just wanted to help, I swear I did, Drusilla. I just remembered how sweetly curious you seemed, how wide-eyed and sort of innocent and it made me sick to think of that being ruined by a man like him.” He let out a sigh. “I didn’t think ahead enough to really realize that lying to you would do the same thing, in the end. Make you wary and hesitant to trust…that wasn’t what I wanted for you.”
Drew didn’t know what to say. She’d never met a man so willing to admit his fuck-ups. And here Bas was, spilling his heart and she so badly wanted to believe him. Of course, he was still sort of kidnapping her, so she could only give him so much credit for being a stand-up guy. She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him, though. He looked so hangdog.
“What about you?”
His brows knit. “What?”
She tilted her head. “What about you, Bas? You said you didn’t want me to be sad or hurt or distrustful, but what do you want for you?”
Lord, he had such beautiful eyes, and when they met hers, she’d swear there wasn’t a trace of dishonesty in them. “You.”
The way her heart thumped was startling. It was like it was trying to leap right out of her chest and fall at his feet. She took a shaky breath, glancing down. Her gaze caught on the rope bracelet she hadn’t been able to bring herself to remove yet. “You could have just told me so.”
“I know that now. At the time, though, I thought you and he were more serious than you were. I thought he was your Master, Drusilla, and I thought if I could get you away from him for a little while, show you how wrong he was, that maybe I’d have a chance.”
“But I told you the night of the auction that he wasn’t even my boyfriend!” She was sure she’d said that.
Bas smiled. “To be fair, you told me that after you’d called him your boyfriend something like three times in thirty seconds. You weren’t exactly clear as glass, you have to admit.”
She blushed, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Not my fault, you were too gorgeous for anyone’s good.”
“Drusilla, I’m admitting I fucked up. I’m admitting I could have handled it better. And I’m apologizing sincerely for it.” He reached across and stroked a finger along one loose curl against her cheek. “I also told you I loved you, if you’d maybe like to notice that for a second.”
Truthfully, she’d been trying not to think about that. Because her heart kept doing the leaping thing and oh, she didn’t know if she was ready to forgive him yet. “I don’t know if I want to.” She let out a sad breath and glanced over at him. “You made me feel like I was just some pawn, like it could have been any other girl and you’d have done the same thing. Like I didn’t matter.” She lifted her brows at him. “You told me Lesson Number One was if a man doesn’t treat me like a treasure I should get the hell away from him.”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “Lord. That’s mean, using my own words against me.”
“I’m just saying. I’d be following your rules to never speak to you again.”
Bas frowned and glanced over at her, his expression genuinely worried. “Are you going to?”
She couldn’t handle that look, and as mad as she had been – and still was – she knew full well that she was on the path to forgiving him. She shook her head. “No.”
His smile was so worth it. God. He loved her.
“I’m still mad.”
“I know. And you have every right to be.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I’m not saying it back while I’m still mad.” It’d ruin it and you really only got to say ‘I love you’ for the first time once.
“Sweetheart, I don’t care if you never say, as long as you feel it.”
She frowned
, nibbling on the side of her thumb, then looked over at Bas. “I wish you just would have told me. But…we didn’t know each other and maybe I wouldn’t have really listened if some stranger – however hot – had just walked up and started telling me what an asshole my boyfriend was. I mean, Jeannie told me a hundred times but I didn’t really listen to her, either.”
“Why not? Were you that into him?” He sounded a little jealous and Drew smiled.
“No. I think I was more into…what I knew he could provide. Access to this world I was so curious about. I’d never met a Dom before, or anyone in the Lifestyle, and I guess part of me was willing to overlook some things because I really wanted to be a part of it.” It sounded so foolish, but that really was what it boiled down to – Chad had held the key to a world she couldn’t resist, and she’d have done anything to get her hands on it and never let go. “Maybe what you did wasn’t so awful, after all. I went back even after he hurt me, because I told myself he was right, that I was the one who’d messed up, I was to blame, and I ignored all the warning signs just so I could get a peek behind the curtain.” She met Sebastian’s eyes, smiling a little. “I guess maybe I did need saving, a little bit.”
Bas grinned. “Knight in not-so-shiny armor, at your service. Does this mean you aren’t going to have me arrested if I pull the car over?”
Drew’s heart raced, shaking her head slowly. “No, I’m not.”
He glanced in his rearview and next thing she knew had cut across two lanes of traffic and onto the exit ramp. She yelped and clung to the handle above the passenger door, glaring at him.
“You’re insane!”
“This is DC. Being a shitty driver is required to maintain residency.” He pulled quickly into a hotel parking lot just past the exit ramp and slammed the car into park. Before she could smack him for scaring her half to death, he’d caught her face in his hands and was kissing her absolutely breathless.
She couldn’t stay mad if her life depended on it, melting into the kiss and kissing him back with everything she had in her. She moaned and when the kiss broke, she was panting, eyes squeezed shut. Then they opened and Bas was staring at her like she was the only thing that mattered in the whole world. She was still hurt and still felt a bit foolish, but here was a man that she knew without a doubt would do anything to protect her – even at the risk of losing her. He loved her and she couldn’t ignore that or brush it aside. Not when she loved him so much her heart felt like it would explode from the overload of emotion.
She took a deep breath. “Will you do something for me?”
His brows furrowed slightly, but he nodded. “Anything.”
“I know.” She did, too. He’d proven that. But if she was going to truly put the past behind them, there was one more thing she had to do. She took a deep breath, the idea forming in her mind. “Got plans tonight?”
* * * * *
Drew smiled at Summer behind the front desk at Twisted & Tied, handing her coat off. “I never got the chance to thank you for the other night. Or your Master, I didn’t even get his name.”
Summer blushed, shaking her head. “Oh, we’re not, um… Noah and me, I mean. He’s not my…he’s my boss, that’s all.” She smiled and shook her head again. “Never mind. You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re okay.”
Drew straightened, smoothing the skintight fuchsia latex minidress she wore. She didn’t really know why, but it’d just seemed appropriate for the night. She felt sexy and powerful and she needed that tonight. It was partly the dress making her feel that way, but also the new intricate silver knotwork collar around her neck. Bas had given it to her before they left, and Drew knew how important it was. This was no temporary ribbon – this marked her his. And she was.
“Thank you, Summer.” He looked down at Drew, tracing a finger along the delicate edge of her collar, sending shivers along her skin.
They stepped into the club and found Harry leaning against the wall, waiting. His gaze fell on Drew’s collar, a smile spreading across his face. “You’re a lucky son of a bitch, Sebastian.”
“I know. Is it done?”
Harry nodded. “He came in earlier and Freya laid down the law.”
Drew sucked in a deep breath, glancing up at Bas. “What does that mean?”
“It means Chad’s no longer welcome at this club. Or any club where Freya’s word has any pull. Which is pretty much every respectable BDSM club up and down the east coast. If Chad wants to play at being a Dom, he’ll need to find another entire section of the country to do it in.”
Drew’s whole body relaxed at that. It was as close as they could come to tattooing “Warning: Incompetent Dom” on his forehead. Hopefully it’d keep a lot of subs as clueless as Drew had been from getting hurt.
Harry pushed away from the wall. “The room’s ready. Have fun.” And then disappeared into the Saturday night crowd.
Drew’s stomach pitched, but not with fear. She wanted what was coming. She refused to live her life afraid, especially when she knew without a doubt that she had nothing to fear with Sebastian. Chad was gone from her life, and now it was time to get rid of the last remnant of his influence as well.
“Are you ready?” he asked, brushing back her hair a bit.
She nodded. “Yes.” And this time, when Bas began to lead her toward the hall of rooms where her doomed experience with wax play had occurred, she didn’t panic, she didn’t dig her heels in and resist, but clung to his hand and trusted him to take care of her. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to, but she loved it. Sebastian had her. She was in good hands.
Those hands were gentle and assured as he guided her into one of the exhibition rooms. It’d been set up with a small dais with a St. Andrew’s Cross that could tilt from upright to lying flat and every angle in between, as well as a table covered in unlit candles. Drew’s heart raced as she stared at it.
“Scared?”
Drew shook her head, glancing up at Bas. “No. I trust you.”
He smiled, bending to kiss her, soft and slow, and then led her up onto the dais and back against the large, black leather covered X. Instead of using the attached cuffs, though, Bas pulled out a handful of lengths of his own rope and Drew let out a glad breath. She didn’t like the feel of leather cuffs or metal shackles – her skin responded to Sebastian’s ropes and nothing else.
Carefully, as always, Sebastian bound her wrists up and out to the heavy metal rings, then crouched down to do the same to her ankles. The rope wrapped around and around part way up her calves and partway down her arms, too, securing her more to the cross so when it moved, she wouldn’t shift around and potentially injure her wrists or ankles. As with everything he did, Bas put her safety at the top of his priority list.
And then their audience began to filter into the room. Oh god, oh god. Drew’s mouth went dry and her heart raced and where before she hadn’t felt an ounce of fear, now she did. Not of pain or anything like that, but of letting Bas down.
He sensed her distress, though, and one big hand immediately cupped her cheek, turning her face to look up at him, concern in his ice blue eyes. “Talk to me.”
Drew bit her lip. “I’m fine, I…I just don’t want to let you down,” she whispered. “In front of all these people that you know and…”
Bas cut her off with a fingertip over her lips. “Stop. You cannot let me down.” When she tried to speak again, he shook his head firmly. “No. Stop. You are here, you are being incredibly brave facing this bad memory and trusting me to help wash it away – you cannot let me down. Lesson number 13, Drusilla. As long as you try, there is no failure. As long as you try, you will never let me down. Do you understand?”
Tears filled her eyes, and she nodded mutely. She did understand. She understood that he was the most wonderful man she’d ever met and while maybe she’d fucked up in choosing her first Dom, this time…this time she’d gotten it perfectly right.
“Good girl,” he murmured softly, moving his finger away from her mouth and replacing
it with a soft kiss before he took a step back and finished securing her to the cross.
Everything felt different than last time. The vibe was…controlled, like Sebastian had everything – her, the watchers, the ebb and flow of energy – all in his hands and played them like a symphony as he lit candles and tilted the cross so she lay at a 45 degree angle. Drew latched her eyes onto him and didn’t look away. He was her sole focus, just as she was his.
His fingers came up and then slid down along her neck, feathering across her collarbone to her breasts and the zipper of her latex dress. Her panties were instantly damp as he toyed with the zipper and then, slowly, with a wicked grin, began to draw it down. She couldn’t help but think back to their first night, her pressed against the glass in his loft and wondering how it would feel if someone was watching them.
It was just one more difference between that scene with Chad and this scene with Sebastian. She’d been so anxious and wired before that the audience had been terrifying, not erotic. Now, though, she welcomed their eyes on her. Let them look, let them know who she belonged to. Let them, maybe a little, envy Bas his submissive. Bas was proud of her, and in turn she was starting to be pretty proud of herself, too. It was hard to maintain doubts of her own self-worth when a Viking god worshipped her.
“My beautiful treasure,” he breathed, so only she could hear as her dress fell open and bared her to him. It was like it was just them, no one else, and she wasn’t embarrassed at all to be lying there in just a pair of lace panties and Sebastian’s ropes.
She watched, heart pounding, as Bas picked up a tall, thin white taper. In fact, all of the candles were white. Varying sizes, but all pure white paraffin. Her eyes widened when Bas tilted the candle first over his own inner wrist, dripping a few drops from a height. Then she realized – he was testing it. It made her soft and warm inside that he would risk injuring himself rather than risk injuring her. He loved her and everything he did told her so, even if he hadn’t have said so.
