by Dale Dreher
Death By Misadventure:
210 Dumb Ways To Die
Dale Dreher
Published by Dale Dreher at Smashwords
Copyright 1999 Dale Dreher
All Rights Reserved
Table of Contents
Foreword
Chapter 1 – Criminal Stupdity
Chapter 2 – Drugs & Alcohol
Chapter 3 – Deathstyles of the Rich and Famous
Chapter 4 – Love & Paraphilia
Chapter 5 – Snakes, UFO’s & Other Nonsense
Chapter 6 – Dares, Games & Jokes
Chapter 7 – Stupidity on the Job
Chapter 8 – Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Chapter 9 – Do It Yourself
Chapter 10 – Death Sports
Chapter 11 – Death Takes a Holiday
Chapter 12 – Deadly Pets
Bibliography
Foreword
The World Health Organization reports that almost 3 million people die in accidents each year, accounting for almost 6% of all deaths in the world. Of this number about 900,000 die in car accidents. Work accidents claimed the lives of another 200,000. The remaining 1.9 million people die from fires, falls, drowning, poisoning, suffocation, fire arms and other unintentional injuries.
According to the U.S. National Safety Council, unintentional injury is the 5th leading cause of death among persons of all ages. For people aged 1 to 38, accidents are the No. 1 cause of death. Statistics also show that men are twice as likely to die from unintentional injuries than are women.
This book contains examples of the most preventable kind of accidental deaths -- deaths by misadventure. The fatal accidents presented here have all been reported in newspapers or other media. They are the more unusual examples of dumb ways people die. They are accidents of arrogance, stupidity or complete recklessness.
I have collected these stories with two purposes in mind – to inform and to entertain. I have tried to keep the tone ironic but respectful. I hope one reader, one day, might think twice before diving in unfamiliar water, driving while intoxicated, or … making love to a backhoe!
Dale Dreher
Toronto
Criminal Stupidity
1. You First, Greg.
Gregory Cohen, 18, died attempting to break in to a grade school. Instead of smashing a door or window, Gregory and his two pals decided to enter through a furnace exhaust vent. Gregory managed to get 6 feet down the narrow shaft before he succumbed to the carbon monoxide fumes and intense heat. Greg's two accomplices fled on bicycles after calling police and pointing the way to the shaft.
Toronto Star, April 5, 1993
2. Calling Dr. Pepper.
Between 1981 and 1988, 11 people in the United States died while tipping soft drink machines. The accidents occur while people rock the machines in attempts to dislodge coins or cans. Many such machines are top heavy and can weigh as much as 1,000 pounds.
Winnipeg Free Press, July 19, 1988
3. Thelma and Dan Duk Thieu.
In the early hours of a spring morning, a suburban youth's joy ride in a stolen Dodge Caravan ended fatally when he drove off the Scarborough Bluffs on Lake Ontario. Police recovered the 17-year-old's body from between the middle and back seats of the locked vehicle at the bottom of the 200 ft. drop. One can only suspect that Dan mistook the Caravan for a Magic Wagon.
Toronto Star, April 19, 1995
4. Probably His Butt, Officer.
After a night of drinking, Christian Robichaud tried to break into his neighbor’s apartment by climbing across the balconies. He was startled when confronted by his elderly neighbor. Trying to flee, he plunged 17 stories to his death. "I just heard a 'pat'", said Robichaud's intended victim. The responding Detective concluded, "It's death by misadventure, it was an accidental fall. I just wonder what was going through his head on the way down."
Toronto Star, January 25, 1996
5. [.23 (7 x 32) 1 + 2,000,000] x 9 / 5 = 0.
On a hot July night in 1985, 32 year old Ana Garcia and six friends broke into a closed municipal pool in the Bronx, New York. Garcia drowned and was later found to have a blood alcohol level of .23 percent, twice the legal limit. Garcia's family later won a $2 million negligence suit against New York City. The City appealed and nine years after Garcia's death, the New York State Supreme Court threw out the entire award. The five judges ruled unanimously that Garcia's "reckless and culpable conduct" was the only legal cause of her death.
New York Times, October 21, 1994
6. Burglar Gai Pan.
Octavio Cerda killed himself trying to break into a Chinese Restaurant in Lynwood, California. The 34 year old and a friend gained entry through the restaurant's roof vent. Cerda died after falling from the roof onto the hard kitchen floor. The friend fled and alerted Cerda's family.
New York Times, October 25, 1994
7. Bible Hard to Swallow.
Franco Brun, 22, an inmate at the Metro Toronto East Detention Centre died trying to swallow a bible (4 x 2.5 x .5 inches). The Coroner concluded that the former race track employee was trying to "purge himself of the Devil by consuming religion." Brun was serving a 15-day sentence for possession of a stolen credit card and damaging a police car.
Toronto Globe and Mail, September 3, 1987
8. Driver Strikes Lightning.
It is alleged that Kent Wilson, 45, was electrocuted trying to sabotage a 12,000 volt transformer in Mountain View, California. Wilson, a delivery truck driver, was one of 2,000 striking employees of the San Francisco Chronicle and Examiner newspapers. Wilson was apparently trying to disrupt electricity to one of the papers' suburban distribution centres.
Globe and Mail, November 7, 1994
9. Prison Trash.
Florida police had to use fingerprints to identify the remains of escaped convict Anastasio Figueroa, 41, found at a landfill site. Figueroa was serving a life sentence for attempted kidnapping when he escaped the Hendry Correctional Institute in the back of a garbage truck. Figueroa, however, did not manage to allude the truck's garbage compactor.
New York Times, February 16, 1994
10. Mechanics of Sabotage.
It appears that shop steward Kim Man Tseung was a casualty in the workplace feud between mechanics and management at the New York Transit Authority. Tseung's head and chest were crushed under a 12-ton bus. An air bag in the vehicle's suspension system had been slashed, as had the bags on 2 other nearby buses. A folding knife was found under the bus with Tsueng. The Transit Authority alleged several other incidents of sabotage, while the union claimed that the Transit Authority was pushing employees too hard, creating unsafe working conditions.
New York Times, November 4, 1994
11. Operation Snake Dance.
George Scribner, 38, of White Plains, New York, had been arrested 3 times for trying to steal the copper wire that powers the Metro North commuter rail line. A week after his last arrest, Scribner was found lifeless beside his hacksaw. Scribner's arrests were part of a successful police crackdown on the theft of the wire, which is sold for $1 a pound. Operation Snake Dance reduced the rail line’s losses from this type of theft from $1.3 million in 1990 to $120 thousand in 1992.
New York Times, March 5, 1993
12. Chew Your Evidence Slowly.
A Buffalo man died shortly after being arrested for robbing a woman in a supermarket parking lot. The suspect choked on a $50 bill he was trying to hide from the police.
New York Times, April 28, 1995
13. Cold War Victim.
Kevin Mulcahy, a former CIA employee died from exposure on the porch of a rural Virginia motel. Mulcahy, 40, was wa
iting his turn to testify against another former spy, Edwin Wilson, accused of selling arms to Libya. Mulcahy, who suffered from emphysema and pneumonia, was reported to have been drinking heavily at the time of his death. Wilson was later convicted on 7 of the 8 charges against him.
Miami Herald, October 27 and November 19, 1982
14. Way to go Ohio.
High school buddies, Paul "Little Keebler" Smith and John Bertram, were surprised by an Akron car dealer while they were stealing the hubcaps from one of the dealer's corvettes. Bertram was caught, while Smith chose to climb a bridge's 7 foot fence and drop another 15 feet into the fast moving Cuyahoga River. The fleeing felon's body was found the next day. In memory of Smith, friends got tattoos of a skull with a crew cut and ponytail bearing the inscription "RIP 9 3 93". (Smith gained his nickname, Little Keebler, after using a cookie sheet during a play fight with friends.)
Akron Beacon Journal, September 13, 1993
15. Chemistry Lesson.
Two San Francisco Area thieves never knew what killed them. They stole a tank of what they believed was laughing gas (nitrous oxide). When they opened the cylinder in their car to get a quick high, they fell asleep and died a few moments later. Had the crooks correctly read the label of the tank they would have discovered that it contained pure nitrogen. Since nitrogen is a major component in the air we breathe, pure nitrogen does not have a noticeable taste or smell; it is, however, heavier than air. So when released in a confined space, pure nitrogen displaces everything else. The men suffocated within in a few painless moments because of lack of oxygen.
National Review, October 11, 1995
16. Escape from Club Pen.
Stephen Peters was doing pretty easy time as an inmate at the William Head prison near Victoria, British Columbia. The medium-security prison is surrounded on three sides by the Pacific Ocean and boasts a nine-hole golf course. The convicted thief and sex offender was serving the fifth year of a 15-year sentence when he attempted to swim to freedom. Peters and his prosthetic left leg, however, were no match for the cold waters of the Pacific Northwest. The convict’s body washed back onto the prison’s shore 2 days later.
Toronto Globe and Mail, May 5, 1997
17. Birthday Bash.
Teacher and part-time bartender, James Hartwig, was celebrating his 41st birthday when he got into an argument with a police officer. The officer was supervising the towing of Hartwig’s illegally parked car. Because Hartwig appeared to be “extremely drunk”, the officer refused to return the car to him and encouraged Hartwig to call someone for a ride. While Hartwig was explaining that he did not want to wake his wife, the officer was called away to a more urgent matter. Hartwig continued his argument with the tow truck driver, chasing the truck and banging on the passenger window. Hartwig somehow slipped and fell under the 6,000-pound vehicle, which crushed his head and chest. Hartwig was described as a “special” teacher who “related beautifully” with his students.
Miami Herald, November 29, 1988
18. Hit, Run and Die.
Donald Lundquist, 65, walked away from a car accident, leaving behind his broken glasses. Lundquist was missing for more than 3 weeks before his body was discovered in a wooded area some 2 miles from the accident scene. The exact cause of death was not obvious but there were no signs of foul play.
Saint Paul Pioneer Press, May 3, 1988
19. Double-Barreled Kickback.
Coroners ruled Joe Norman’s shotgun death an accident despite the fact that the former power company executive was facing charges of accepting kickbacks from coal suppliers. Norman, 55, had spent the morning hunting quail and died cleaning his loaded shotgun. Authorities were convinced that the witness testimony and other evidence gathered at the site were consistent with an accident and not suicide or murder. The coroner did concede, however, “The only people who would know that are God Almighty and Joe.”
The State (Columbia S.C.), March 11, 1992
20. Racing Minnesota.
A 16-year-old robbery suspect ended a high-speed pursuit through Wisconsin and Minnesota by accidentally shooting himself in the head. The youth, who was suspected of robbing a gas station, led state troopers on a chase that reached speeds of over 100 mph. At the end of the chase one officer brought his cruiser alongside the suspect’s vehicle. The suspect’s sawed off shotgun went off accidentally as he was pulling it from a shoulder holster. His vehicle then went out of control and left the road. The youthful suspect died of his injuries within a few hours.
Saint Paul Pioneer Press, April 26, 1989
21. Fearful Flying Felon.
Alleged drug mule, Graham Marples, 44, panicked and died after smuggling $120 thousand worth of cannabis from Holland to England. Marples’ pilot described him as a nervous passenger, “He kept saying we were going to crash. Even before I had stopped, he grabbed open the canopy, jumped out and went straight into the propeller.”
Electronic Telegraph, August 15, 1996
22. Harold & Maude?
According to staff and inmates at a Minnesota juvenile detention centre, 12-year-old, John H. Willingham died faking a suicide attempt. They claim he accidentally hung himself with a bed sheet staging a fake suicide attempt so he could be moved to preferred living quarters. Willingham’s family claim the death was caused by staff negligence and sued the centre for over $1 million in damages.
Saint Paul Pioneer Press, August 24, 1994
23. Sugar Coated Death.
During unloading at a Boston refinery, the bodies of two men were discovered in the hold of a ship carrying 2 tons of raw sugar from the Dominican Republic. Experts explained that raw sugar is loaded in a cone shaped pile which later settles with the motion of the ship. In this case, a particularly violent storm at sea caused a sudden resettling of the load, quickly drowning the stowaways in sugar. The refinery refused to accept the rest of the cargo.
Miami Herald, December 31, 1982
24. Teenage Canaries.
Blackdamp, a mixture of carbon dioxide and nitrogen is a common threat to coal miners. The naturally occurring hazard can disable a person with one breath. If not removed from the environment the victim quickly suffocates. Three teenagers were killed and one critically injured by the phenomenon while they were exploring an abandoned California coal mine. The group ignored the warnings of one friend who abandoned the lark complaining that he had difficulty breathing. The responding police officer explained, “The others didn't believe him so they went inside and they never came out.”
San Jose Mercury News, August 15, 1989
25. Electric Throne.
Convicted murderer, Michael Godwin, 28, was accidentally electrocuted while using his cell’s toilet. Godwin was found sitting naked on the steel toilet with the cord to his earphones in his mouth; the cord was connected to the jack on Godwin’s television set. Experts say that the cord and TV had not been tampered with.
The State (Columbia, S.C.), April 11, 1989
26. Electric Throne II.
Former death row inmate, Lawrence Baker, 47, frustrated the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s 1986 decision to commute his death sentence to life imprisonment. Ten years after he was saved from the electric chair Baker accidentally electrocuted himself on an aluminum toilet. The convicted murderer was wearing homemade headphones and watching television at the time of his death. In this case, authorities concluded that the headphones’ wiring was faulty.
The Philadelphia News, January 3, 1997
27. Ballpoint Pen Murder.
In 1991, Jim Terwiel, then 21, discovered the body of his mother in her apartment in Leiden, Holland. No cause of death was apparent until an autopsy revealed a ballpoint pen embedded in her eye and brain. Turweil was convicted of his mother's murder in 1995 because he was alleged to have confessed to his therapist that he had shot his mother with a crossbow. Turweil's conviction was overturned on appeal, however, and the court ruled his mother's death a freak accident she likely fell while holding the pen in her hand.
> Reuters, April 4, 1996
28. Electric Secret.
Robert Green, 55, was killed tending his marijuana plants. Green had $32,000 worth of the illegal plants in a secret room beneath his house in northern Florida. He was apparently electrocuted by faulty wiring in his system of grow lights. Green's body was discovered by his son. Police were not sure whether the plants were grown for sale or just for personal use.
Tallahassee Democrat, March 29,1997
29. Fatal Greed and Desperation.
International relief workers reported that about 10 looters killed themselves accidentally during the September 1991 civil riots in Kinshasa, Zaire. The accidental deaths included some looters who electrocuted themselves pulling out live cables of appliances they were stealing and one looter who drove a new car through a showroom window and directly into a wall. One hundred other looters were shot and killed by police and soldiers.
Reuters, September 30, 1991
30. Rubberneckers Revenge.
Susan Smith was convicted of drowning her two small children by strapping them in her car and rolling the car down the boat launch at John D. Long Lake near Union, South Carolina. Two years later Tim and Angie Phillips, a local couple in their 20's, accidentally killed themselves, their 3 children, another child and a friend of Angie's when they visited the site of the murders. Somehow the Phillips’ truck rolled down the same boat launch with four children and 1 adult inside. All seven drowned including the other 2 adults who tried to rescue the occupants of the truck.
St. Paul Pioneer Press, September 3, 1996.
31. Neverending Shortcut.
An unidentified motorcyclist and a friend cut through a restricted Navy bombing range near Yuma, Arizona. Unfortunately the pair learned the hard way that all bombs do not explode when dropped. Some will explode, however, when run over by a motorcycle. The biker was killed. The passenger survived with serious injuries.
Los Angeles Times, May 25, 1990
32. Vanquished Vandal.
An unnamed 11 year old English boy was killed while painting graffiti in the London subway. He was hit by a train. The coroner’s jury ruled that the cause of death was misadventure.
