“About that…” While he was blowing up the rest of his life, Jasper figured he might as well handle this loose end, too. “Back then…I…”
Dave shook his head. “It took me a long time, but I get it.”
Jasper wasn’t sure what that meant. “What do you get?”
“You’re bisexual and back then you couldn’t handle knowing that. You never saw yourself that way or thought your family would accept it.” One of Dave’s eyebrows lifted. “Or do you still not accept it?”
“I guess the description fits. Point is, now I understand that who I’m attracted to doesn’t depend on gender.” Accepting that much about himself had taken a long time and lot of support from friends and from Annie. “I finally get that being with a woman doesn’t change that.”
Dave nodded. “Impressive.”
“Yeah, well. Coming to terms with my sexuality took a long time…and I lost you in the process.”
Jasper lived his life differently now. He insisted on being open, which was why the fight with Annie sucked so hard. She’d hid things from him, sure, but he also didn’t make it easy for her to talk to him. He’d promised he always would.
Some of the light in Dave’s eyes faded. “I’m still sorry.”
That didn’t make any sense to Jasper. “What for?”
“I bolted. You kept saying you weren’t gay or bi back then, that I was this strange aberration. Something you needed to hide—”
Jasper stood up. “That was garbage and shitty for me to do to you. It was all about my own baggage, and nothing to do with you. This really is my apology to make.”
“No, hear me out.” Dave held up a hand, then dropped it. “What I’m saying is that I knew you were struggling and why, but I gave up on us. Then, later, when you tried to contact me, I was pissed that you didn’t stop me from leaving you. I wouldn’t even pick up the phone.”
“I hurt you.” Jasper stood just inches away now. The loss still thumped loud and clear. The regret never went away.
He hated how such an important relationship had ended in an awful, hate-filled mess. Now that Dave was here, Jasper’s emotions took off on a wild roller-coaster ride he couldn’t stop.
Regardless of the fight, he loved Annie. She was the love of his life…but so was the man he knew as Matthew. Back then at least. Jasper shook his head, trying to reason through it all. But when he glanced up again he looked into Dave’s dark eyes and sensed that other than the name, the man hadn’t changed at all—the humor, the intelligence, the easy comfort of spending days and nights together.
“This time I’m the one who hurt you and I didn’t mean to.” Dave looked at his hands.
Jasper’s mind blanked. The words didn’t make any sense. “What are you talking about?”
“Annie—”
The buzzing in Jasper’s mind nearly blocked out his ability to think. “How do you know about Annie?”
“Wait…do you mean…Didn’t she tell you I was in town?” All the life drained from Dave’s face. He jumped up and moved back, putting the desk between them. “Oh, shit.”
For the second time in twenty-four hours Jasper had been thrown into a conversation that confused the hell out of him. He thought about what Annie had said and Dave’s move and…damn.
All the pieces fit together. The parts of his life that he viewed as separate suddenly connected. He could hear them click.
“You’re the client?” The chances were so slim but somehow he knew it was true. “You’re the one who has her talking about threesomes?”
“What?” Dave held up both hands then. “Wait a second. I never said that.”
“What the hell did you say to her?”
“I definitely didn’t suggest sex. Jasper, you have to believe me.” Dave kept shaking his head. “I wanted to meet her because some of our old friends told me about you guys, about her. They liked her, which had me intrigued. She had a good reputation as an agent, so I hired her—”
“To get close to her.” What the hell had he walked into?
“Not sexually. She didn’t even know what I’d been to you until a few days ago. When I finally admitted it, she stopped taking my calls.”
Dave talked like meeting Annie was this separate thing that happened over there. As if their new connection had no impact on today and didn’t threaten to destroy the thing that mattered most to Jasper.
Jasper couldn’t process what any of this meant. “This whole situation is so messed up.”
“Annie knows who I am—or was—to you. That’s what I was apologizing for. I told her that I came back to town, hoping you might be available and…shit.” Dave’s voice sputtered out.
Jasper stood there, staring at the man who once meant everything to him and thinking about the woman he wanted for his future. He spent his adulthood thinking he was bi but maybe he was something else. Poly, possibly. It was all happening too fast for him to assess.
Annie and Dave were different in so many ways. Dave came from this completely functional and supportive family. Dave’s issues with his dad came from the insecurities inside him, but his dad always encouraged him. Then there was Annie, with her fractured upbringing and messed-up understanding of commitment.
But in many ways, it made sense to Jasper that he loved them both. They were both smart and dedicated. When they saw something, they went after it. Annie was a survivor and Dave thrived in everything he did. They both made him laugh. Both drove him wild in the bedroom.
And right now, Jasper wanted to strangle both of them for dealing in half-truths and turning his life upside down.
Maybe she had wanted to satisfy his fantasies. It wouldn’t be the first time. But they’d never figure out what she really wanted without her in the room, no matter how scary it was for Jasper to put Dave and Annie together right now.
“You’re coming home with me,” Jasper said, sounding more sure than he felt.
Dave winced. “Not a great idea. I definitely spooked her.”
“You shook her up.” Jasper was just starting to get why. It sounded like he wasn’t the only one who could imagine a life with two people. “She talked about the three of us having sex together. Does that sound spooked to you?”
“Have you two ever…?”
“Never.”
Dave blew out a long breath. “Now I’m spooked.”
Chalk it up to the uncertainty or the fight with Annie, but Jasper felt a kick of something around Dave. The good times ran through his head. The attraction. The longing.
“Did you really come back to town for me?” It wasn’t the question he meant to ask, but he needed to know.
Dave smiled. “Don’t get cocky. I came for a pretty lucrative job opportunity.” He paused. “Which I took because I hoped for a second shot with you.”
Suddenly, Jasper felt like he could handle this mess of emotions.
“Buckle in,” he said. “I think this is about to get even messier.”
Chapter 20
Hours later, Annie returned. Manda had put her in a cab and sent her home from the bar. With her mind still fuzzy and her anger at Jasper all whipped up and ready for a target, she walked in their front door.
She threw the keys on the table and got as far as the kitchen before she froze. The blinking came next as she tried to reason through her pickled brain. Dave and Jasper sat there, drinking coffee after ten at night and laughing about something.
This was her nightmare. Jasper loved them both but decided Dave was the one, not her.
“How much did I have to drink?” She remembered three, which was two more than she usually ever had. She wasn’t tiny or petite. No, she towered over a lot of men. But her alcohol tolerance hovered around zero.
Jasper took a step in her direction. “You okay, babe?”
“I’m seeing double, but not in the usual way.” She held up her hand, expecting her vision to blur and fingers to fade into a big blob, but everything looked fine.
She closed her eyes and opened them again.
Nope, two hotties. Right there. One all rough on the outside but with a soft center. One charming in his sleek lawyer suit.
Jasper gestured to the man on the other side of the kitchen island. “Apparently you know Dave.”
Not a question, which meant Dave had talked. Her gaze shot to him. “What did you do?”
“Went to see Jasper to apologize for climbing into the middle of your relationship.”
She turned to Jasper. “I can explain.”
Jasper’s eyebrow lifted. “Go ahead.”
“I was actually kind of hoping someone else would jump in here.” She needed all her energy to focus. But part of her wanted to hide, wanted to go upstairs, shower, and forget the last few weeks.
“Let me give it a try. You thought your new client, who unknown to you happened to be my ex, was hot.” Jasper glanced at Dave. “I get it. That buttoned-up thing is smoking.”
Dave made a humming sound. “Good to know.”
“We’re dating and living together, not dead.” Jasper looked at her while he talked, as if challenging her to disagree.
She didn’t say anything. Just stood there, swaying.
“But you guys are monogamous.” Dave said it like a statement, not a question.
Jasper nodded. “That’s been the rule, yes.”
One piece finally fell into her head. Landed there and demanded an answer. She looked at Dave. “After we fought you went running to Jasper to tell on me?”
“I’m going to ignore the way you phrased that. I found Jasper.” Dave held up a hand to stop her when she tried to interrupt. “Wait. You may remember you wouldn’t answer my calls and kept sending me house listings instead.”
“I’m your real estate agent. It’s what I do.” Sure, sixty-one listings in one day was a bit much, but she was trying to point out that their relationship needed to remain professional.
Dave kept right on talking. “We left our work relationship in a weird place at the hotel.”
“Wait.” Jasper moved then. The smirk disappeared and a new intensity overtook him. “Hotel?”
Dave shook his head. “Nothing happened.”
“A kiss.” A good kiss, but not the hot kind she generally shared with Jasper. And for some reason that made her think about all three of them and kissing…and other stuff. “Don’t lie to Jasper about it.”
“Yes. Seeing as I’m the one person who has had sex with everyone in the room, I don’t think keeping a secret from me is a good idea.”
Now that sounded like the Jasper she knew. The one last night, the Jasper who was all confused and fumbling, threw her off. She didn’t blame him, but she hadn’t expected it. This version of Jasper—the one who snapped into control and didn’t mince words—she totally understood.
“He’s cute. Really cute.” She looked from Dave to Jasper, moved her head fast enough to make her dizzy. “A different kind of cute from you with your sexy tats and drafting board.”
Dave’s eyes narrowed. “Is she drunk?”
Was he really just figuring that out now? She thought it was obvious.
Jasper’s lips kicked up into a grin as he watched her. “Yes, but she also rambles when she’s nervous. We’re getting hit with both right now.”
Swaying or not, now they were just annoying her. “I’m standing right here.”
Jasper put his hands on her arms, all gentle and sweet. “You know I love you, right?”
The words filled her with a warm burning light. Jasper was supposed to be her rebound guy but she fell so hard for him. He was the guy she didn’t know she wanted and absolutely didn’t deserve. And that’s why she wanted him to have what he needed. So, she had to ask. “Do you still love Dave? Find him attractive? I mean, you must.”
“It’s been a long time and we have a hell of a lot of baggage, but yeah. I love him. Maybe in a nostalgic way. I’m not sure yet.” The tension from last night had disappeared. Jasper wore an easy grin now. “As for the attraction? That’s still alive and kicking. It’s a damn-he’s-still-fine type of thing. But that doesn’t mean I’ll cheat.”
“I know being bisexual doesn’t mean you’ll cheat. But still loving Dave might mean he’s the one.” She needed Jasper to see the distinction. She worried that he’d continued to love Dave even after they broke up and never worked through his feelings. That was the kind of thing that could linger and destroy them.
Then there was the issue of her attraction to both of them. She wanted to deny it, but it pounded her through the haze of alcohol.
“Now that you’re more comfortable with who you are, do you want to go back in time and choose him?” She got the question out, despite the sudden urge to throw up. She had to breathe deep through her nose to beat it back. “Not that I want to take a break so you can figure that out, but you should know the possibility that’s how you feel is scaring the hell out of me.”
“I can honestly say I did not see any of this coming when I moved back to town.” Dave sat down hard on the armrest to the couch.
Jasper watched her. “Do you want to try a threesome because you think it’s what I want or because it’s what you want?”
She didn’t hear any judgment in his voice. The question flowed out of him as if he’d been thinking about it all day. She suspected he had. “Maybe both.”
Dave stood up again, clearly engaged now. “Just so I know. Is this about trying it with any random guy or about trying it with me specifically?”
The haze started to clear. She wanted to stop talking. Just listen and assess but she owed Dave the truth. “It’s you. The connection hit me immediately. I think it might be because you love Jasper, too.”
“He did, a long time ago,” Jasper said.
Dave looked at Jasper, dazed. “I still do.”
“Of course he does. Look at him,” she said to Jasper, and waited for jealousy to slam into her and knock her sideways. It never came. The sensation moving through her had a decidedly hotter intensity.
For a second no one said anything. Time passed and they remained still. They stood within a few feet of each other, staring. None of them broke through the awkward tension to bridge the gap.
Dave finally broke the silence. “So, now what?”
“Dinner.” The word popped out of her mouth before she could even think through what it meant for them to have some sort of weird joint date. “Tomorrow, Jasper will make us dinner.”
Dave laughed as he looked at Jasper. “You cook now?”
“Of course he does. He’s perfect.” She meant that.
Jasper shook his head. “I’m not, and frankly, the idea of doing the wrong thing here scares the shit out of me.”
That’s why she loved him. He didn’t play games or pretend he knew everything. He also didn’t hide his feelings, the same ones that had been playing in her head on an endless loop.
“That’s why we go with dinner. I’ll be sober.” She pointed at Jasper. “You’ll be sexy.”
“And what will I be doing?” Dave asked.
Jasper took that one. “The same as the rest of us—trying to figure out where we are and where we go from here, if anywhere.”
“Okay.” Dave shifted until he stood in front of Jasper and Annie. “But just so we’re clear, I didn’t come to town looking for a quick lay.”
“And we didn’t go looking for a third,” Jasper said. “So, we’ll see. No pressure. Just dinner.”
She raised her hand. “And I’ll try not to throw up at dinner.”
“Are you going to drink again?” Dave asked.
“I wasn’t talking about alcohol. I was talking about the stress.” The world was spinning around. Blame the alcohol or the confusion, but her mind was in a whirl.
“It will all be fine,” Jasper said.
Annie had one coherent thought: he better be right.
Chapter 21
After Dave left, Jasper sat on the edge of their bed, waiting for Annie to come out of the bathroom. He hoped she wasn’t wearing much more than a towel, post
-shower.
The door opened and steam rolled out. A wall of heat slammed into Jasper but he didn’t move from the edge of the bed. He was too busy staring at Annie in that thin little nightgown that showed off her nipples and barely cleared her upper thighs.
But he wasn’t an animal, so he concentrated on what she needed. “Feeling better?”
“The scotch wore off, if that’s what you mean.” She walked over and stopped in front of him.
“The idea of you sitting at that bar drinking scotch is pretty sexy.” He ran his hand up the outside of her bare thigh.
Silence descended. It was charged and full of energy and he wasn’t sure why. But he did know he needed to make one thing clear. “This can’t only be about you trying to please me. And honestly, it can’t be about you wanting a bigger thrill, either. This needs to be about us mutually deciding to try this because we both care about Dave.”
She reached down and slipped her fingers under Jasper’s chin, lifting his head until he looked up at her. “When did you get so smart?”
He tapped the side of his head. “Architect, remember?”
“So: good with your hands.”
That energy definitely had a different feel now. Jasper knew exactly what to do with the emotions pinging around inside him. “Yet using my mouth is really my specialty.”
She straddled his lap. “Show me.”
Chapter 22
Over the next three nights, the three of them ate dinner together. Balancing their schedules proved easier than Annie anticipated. Despite them all working long hours and juggling multiple rush projects, they all made sure to be together at night. If you wanted something bad enough, if it was important enough, you found a way to make it work—or at least you tried.
They talked and laughed, and Dave shared Jasper stories. She loved those and the easy comfort that wound around them. In fact, she enjoyed every second of their evenings together, except for the awkward fifteen minutes right before Dave left for the night to return to his fancy hotel room.
The Experiment Page 9
