by Vivi Holt
Katie, my dear. Do let Kristoff in, won’t you? I know you like to keep us all at arm’s length, and I love you just the same. But he will want more than that. I hope you can find it within yourself to give it to him. He’s a good man. You can trust him with your tender heart.
How she missed her friend. Katie lay on the bed for a few minutes, re-reading the letter and considering her friend’s wise words. She fingered the locket about her neck and wished she could follow Hannah’s advice. She wanted to open up to Kristoff, but she knew it was impossible. If she opened up to him and became truly vulnerable, he’d see the lies she held tightly in her fists. She dressed quickly, and, wrapping a shawl about her shoulders, made her way downstairs in the silent house. She felt like taking a walk around the property, but it was drizzling outside. Katie found a white umbrella by the back door and headed outside. A misty rain fell about her, dampening the usual sounds of morning in the country, and giving her surroundings a clouded, wet look.
The curlews had remained hidden in their nests throughout the night, no doubt sheltering from the rain and cold, and the woodpecker had given up his work for today. The cattle were huddled beneath a large oak tree in the center of the field, and David had not yet ventured out of the house to tend to the morning’s chores.
Katie wandered down a well-worn cattle track through the rain-dampened grasses, over a little rise and down a short hill. At the bottom of the hill, she discovered a clear creek. The gentle water bubbled over black rocks and around fallen logs. Squat fir trees hugged the banks of the creek, and she could see the beginnings of a beaver’s dam on the opposite side. The water rushed around the small dam wall, and the soothing sound of its journey enveloped Katie.
The misting rain had ceased, and all about her the signs a new day were beginning to emerge. She sat down on the stump of a felled tree, and snapped the umbrella closed. With a loud sigh, she scanned the surrounding landscape. It was a soothing sight, and she soaked in it, reveling in the feeling of peace that crept up about her heart.
Her head was filled with troubling thoughts. Katie had felt the need to get away from the farmhouse for a few minutes to think. She had decisions to make – such as what she was going to do once she returned to Boston. If she returned to Boston. It was all very confusing. First, she’d heard Kristoff telling Belle that he wouldn’t go through with the wedding. Then, he’d kissed her. A heart-wrenching, body tingling, life changing kiss, and Katie hadn’t been able to think of much else since it had happened. She pulled away from him of course, because his kiss had awakened feelings in her that she thought had died with Nicholas. And knowing, as she did, that he didn’t intend to marry her, she knew she had to stop him before it went any further.
She wanted desperately to keep kissing him, but she had to think about her future with a clear head, and being around Kristoff made that almost impossible. Not to mention the fact that he was pulling her body so close to his, he was bound to feel the swell of her stomach through her skirts. Then he had thrown her an engagement party, at which Belle fawned all over him. Finally, he had given Katie a pretty little horse as a gift. So many mixed messages. It was all very vexing.
Katie’s mood was pensive. She fretted about what she was going to do, and how she and the baby would survive. She had been so happy when she arrived in California, only days ago. It had seemed as though everything was going to work out. Kristoff was handsome, successful, kind and considerate. He was everything she wanted in a man – if only her heart were ready for love. He’d make a wonderful husband and father, from what she could tell and if everything Hannah had said was true. But he’d decided - too rashly to her way of thinking - that she wasn’t what he wanted in a wife. Maybe he would reconsider. Maybe she could get him to change his mind and marry her. After all, he had kissed her with a passion that couldn’t be contrived. He must have some feelings for her.
Katie rose to her feet and stretched her arms above her head with a yawn. Pregnancy certainly had a way of exhausting her. She’d never wanted to sleep so much in her life before. Not to mention all of the niggling aches and pains she experienced all over her body on a daily basis. On her way back up the hill toward the house, Katie noticed a buggy standing idle in the driveway, a bay horse grazing freely nearby. It was Kristoff’s buggy. What on earth was he doing here so early in the morning? Katie stood frozen in place. What should she do? She didn’t want to see him. Not after that kiss, and the party last night. Not when she hadn’t decided yet how she was going to win him back.
Seeing her disheveled and bleary-eyed so early in the morning certainly wouldn’t help her cause in that regard. And she hadn’t even had her breakfast yet. Katie pulled a crust of bread from the pocket of her dress, and shoved it hurriedly into her mouth. She had grabbed a slice on her way out of the kitchen, knowing that she would need to eat as soon as she rose. She tried not to go anywhere these days without a snack on hand. Still staring at the yellow farmhouse, she chewed quietly and considered her options. She could just walk back down to the creek and sit on the stump until he left. No one knew where she was, and he would soon leave. It would be so much easier than facing him. Katie turned, and scurried back down the hill.
***
“Katie, my dear, there you are. We were quite worried about you. It’s cold and wet outside, you must be soaked through,” Mrs. Hutchins admonished, fussing about her. Katie stomped through the kitchen door, and wiped her feet on the doormat.
“I’m fine, I had an umbrella with me.”
“Kristoff stopped by on his way to the store. He was hoping to see you, and I thought you were still in bed. You can’t imagine my surprise when I found your room empty. Mr. Hutchins searched high and low for you. We didn’t know what to tell Kristoff.”
“I’m so sorry, Mellie. I hope Kristoff wasn’t too disappointed.”
“He was very disappointed, although he didn’t say so, of course. I could tell though.”
She handed Katie a dry cloth, and Katie patted her face, hair and dress to remove any dampness. Then she stood in front of the open door of the stove, allowing the heat emanating from the fire to complete the job.
“Do you know what he wanted to see me for? Did he say?” asked Katie, attempting to sound nonchalant.
“He didn’t say, exactly. But he did hint at the idea that you were withholding something from him. I believe he wants to make sure that you’re all right. You’re not keeping anything from him, are you? You are well?”
Mrs. Hutchins eyed her with apprehension, as she filled the coffee pot with water and set it on the stovetop.
“Of course I'm not keeping anything from him. Everything is well. I am well. He’s being overly cautious, that’s all. I couldn’t sleep, so rose early to take a walk. I’m sorry I missed him.” Katie pulled an apron from a peg on the wall beside the back door, and fixed it firmly about her waist.
Mrs. Hutchins nodded with relief, and smiled tenderly at Katie.
“You know, Katie dear, Kristoff is a good man. I’ve known him for four years, and in all that time he’s never had a serious courtship, or a casual affair. He is honest and reliable, not to mention tender-hearted. I hope you can see that. I’d hate for you to miss an opportunity for happiness because you didn’t realize what you had, standing right in front of you. He wants to marry you, and if you’re having second thoughts about that, perhaps you should talk to him about it.”
“I’m not having second thoughts,” said Katie. She grabbed a bowl of freshly gathered eggs, and greased a frying pan with pork lard, then placed the pan on top of the stove. She cracked the eggs into the pan, one by one. As she stirred them, she watched the clear liquid of the eggs mix with the thick, yellow centers and grow firm beneath her spoon.
“Well, that’s good news. I’m glad to hear it. I think the two of you will be very happy together.”
“You’re sure Kristoff still wants to marry me?” asked Katie, her wide eyes following Mrs. Hutchins as she bustled about the kitchen.
/> “Of course he does, why wouldn’t he?”
“I don’t know,” mumbled Katie, scooping the scrambled eggs onto three plates.
Mrs. Hutchins stopped her work, and placed one hand on her hip. The other held the handle of a hot, enamel coffee pot encased in a thick cloth.
“Katie, my dear, is there something you’d like to get off your chest?”
“No, Mellie, everything is just fine. Although, I think I’ll stay home today and read by the fire. It’s the perfect day to sit by the fire with a good book, don’t you think?”
“Yes, that sounds lovely.” Mrs. Hutchins returned to her flurry of activity, the concerned look returning to her round face.
Mr. Hutchins stomped through the kitchen door, wiping his thick rubber boots on the mat. His morning chores complete, his cheeks held a rosy glow.
“Good morning ladies,” he said.
He tipped his hat from his head, and slid it onto a peg by the door. Then he walked to the washbasin to wash up for breakfast.
“Good morning Mr. Hutchins,” said Katie.
Mrs. Hutchins shot him a warm smile. “Breakfast is ready, my dear.”
“Fantastic!” he grinned at them both. “There is fresh milk in the outdoors pantry if you need it.”
“Lovely,” said Katie. She was enjoying the creamy white milk that seemed to be in unlimited supply on the farm. Along with the cheeses, butter and cream that the Hutchins’ liked to use liberally, dousing all of their meals with one if not all of them. Katie still wasn’t used to eating and drinking such rich and, to her mind, luxurious foods. Ever since she’d arrived in Sacramento there’d been good food to eat, and plenty of it.
They sat together at the dining table and Mr. Hutchins prayed a quick blessing over the meal. As she lay a napkin across the lap of her gown, she noticed her corset was sticking out at a strange angle beneath the fabric. She pushed at it to smooth it down. It felt as though she could barely breathe, it was pulled so tight around her middle. Every day, she’d been loosening it, but it seemed today was the day she’d have to give it up altogether. She sighed as deeply as she could, given the restrictive clothing, and lifted a forkful of eggs to her mouth.
It was just as well she was staying home, since without a corset it would be obvious to any observant person that her girth was growing. If Kristoff saw her like that, he’d know for sure she was pregnant and would never consider marrying her. She had to keep him in the dark for as long as it took to get him to fall in love with her and change his mind about backing out of the wedding. Then, when they were married, she could finally tell him the truth.
Katie wanted so badly to share her situation with Kristoff. To be open with him, to let him into her world and into her life. She didn’t want to hold him at arm’s length. But she had no choice. This baby couldn’t be kept secret for much longer, and if Kristoff turned her away she wouldn’t be able to secure a job or find a new beau. She’d be alone and vulnerable, and so would her child. And Katie wasn’t certain she’d able to keep the child. Unable to even consider bringing her baby into such a situation, she set her mind to the task at hand – getting Kristoff to fall in love with her, change his mind and marry her, on Friday, without him finding out her secret. Simple.
Chapter Fifteen
Kristoff strode to the stables. The weather-worn timber structure stood just behind the house, and it was his favorite part of the ten acre property. Moving through the stalls, he patted each horse he passed. Their soft noses nuzzled his hands, looking for food, and their quiet nickering beckoned him to come back after he had moved on. King stood tall in the last stall. His sleek black coat was covered with a warm blanket, and he moved restlessly about the confined space, trampling the dense covering of straw on the floor.
“Time for a run, hey big boy?” Kristoff opened the door of the stall, and reached for King’s halter. The horse’s face was strong, and his eyes drooped closed comfortably as he pushed his nose beneath Kristoff’s hand for a scratch. A long stripe of white ran down the length of his head, between his large, dark eyes and over the end of his snout.
“It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”
Kristoff disappeared back into the main stable, returning shortly with a saddle, saddle rug and bridle. He pulled the blanket from King’s back, and folded it carefully over the stall door. Then, he threw the saddle rug up over the horse’s withers and placed the saddle on top. Securing the saddle in place with the girth, he slipped a shiny bit into King’s pink mouth and pushed the bridle over his twitching ears. King lifted his legs impatiently, stamping in place as Kristoff finished up. Leading the giant horse out of the stall, Kristoff stopped outside to stare up into the magnificent sky. The clouds had lifted, taking the rest of the rain with them, and the crisp air felt freshly washed, the scent of grasses and damp earth hanging pleasantly about him. The stars were even more vibrant than usual, and the howl of a coyote sent King trotting sideways, pulling against the reins.
“Steady there, boy,” said Kristoff. He reached for King’s face, and rubbed his nose gently. He slipped the reins over King’s head and up onto his neck. Then, taking them in both hands, he pushed his foot into a stirrup, and leapt up on top of the horse, as he pranced about the yard.
“OK boy, let’s go,” Kristoff leaned down to whisper in the horse’s back-turned ears.
King took off, out of the yard at a gallop. They careened down the driveway, and out onto the country road. There was something so appealing about country life that Kristoff had never wanted to give it up, even when his store became successful and Sacramento society beckoned. He owned several horses, two cows for milking, and a handful of chickens for eggs. He hoped that Katie would enjoy living there too. She seemed to be enjoying the Hutchins’ farm, and his house was very similar in many ways, although his wasn’t a working farm. She also seemed to have taken a liking to his horses the other night at the engagement party. He wondered whether Katie preferred country or city living. It was definitely something they should discuss before Friday. Perhaps he’d ask her tonight.
Kristoff had been frustrated that morning when he dropped by the farmhouse to see Katie. After deciding that he needed to get to know her better, he rose from bed even earlier than usual to spend some time with her before he had to be at work. But she wasn’t there, and Mrs. Hutchins didn’t seem to know where she might be. It was downright aggravating. They had such limited time to get to know one another, and Kristoff felt as though he was being foiled at every turn.
The sound of King’s hooves pounding against the hard road filled the night’s silence, echoing through the valley and up the sides of a nearby canyon, which sent the noise right back to Kristoff. He was determined to get to know more about Katie tonight. He still had reservations about marrying her, but that kiss had muddled his head. Kristoff wanted her. It was that simple. He could try to talk his way around it, and complain night and day about her vexing ways, but it didn’t change the singular fact – he wanted to marry Katie Pearson on Friday. So, he was going to have to get her to open up to him before then, somehow. If he could see her again, perhaps it would assuage his concerns about marrying her. He wanted to know her – everything about her, but he was a patient man, and was willing to give it some time. If she would just give a little, let him get to know a small part of her. Surely she would let him in.
***
Katie was startled by the sound of hooves hammering down the drive and into the yard. The noise stopped at the garden path, and she heard a loud banging on the front door.
“Who could that be?” Mr. Hutchins exclaimed from his armchair.
Katie sat with Mr. and Mrs. Hutchins in the living room before a roaring fire. Freshly cut logs cracked and spat in the hearth, and the warmth of the blaze kept the cool night air at bay. Mrs. Hutchins was knitting a green shawl, and Katie was crocheting a tiny woolen hat. The yellow wool thread wove in at out, over and under, and Katie’s fingers trembled as she watched the teeny bonnet taking shape before her
eyes. Mr. Hutchins was smoking his post-supper pipe, and reading the newspaper, since a farmer rarely got to read it in the morning when the cows needed milking. Grunting unhappily, he pushed himself to his feet.
“Who would call unannounced at this hour?”
He opened the door to find Kristoff standing there. His long coat trailed almost to his feet, and he wore a black Stetson perched high on his golden curls. He grinned, showing off his dimple, and pulled the hat from his head.
“Good evening David, how are you on this fair night?”
“Good evening, Kristoff. I do hope everything is all right?”
“Fine. Fine. Yes, everything is fine. I’m so sorry to stop by without warning, but as you know I don’t get a lot of free time these days.”
“Of course, won’t you come in?”
“Please, sit down,” said Mrs. Hutchins, hurrying to clear a place on the sofa next to Katie. She moved Katie’s bag of wool and crochet needles to the floor, and kicked them deftly under the seat.
“Thank you, I will.”
Kristoff removed his coat, which was quickly taken by Mrs. Hutchins who hung it by the door along with his hat. Then he ambled to the sofa, and sat down.
“Katie.” He nodded at her, with a half-smile.
“Kristoff, how nice to see you.” Katie carefully readjusted her gown so that it puffed out over her abdomen sufficiently.
“And you, I hope you’ve had a nice day. I was sorry to miss you this morning.” He peered at her inquisitively, and Katie felt her face flushing red beneath his gaze. It was as though he knew she’d avoided him intentionally.
“I heard you were looking for me. I’m so sorry I missed you - I took a walk.”
“In the rain?”
“It wasn’t raining much.”
