by Liz K. Lorde
Gabriel’s arms cinched around my person nice and tight, as though he were trying to bathe me in some invisible light that would burn away all those bad things that dwelled within. “Madeline,” he crooned, readjusting his grip on me, “Madeline, Madeline, what’s wrong? Shh,” he susurrated, “it’s okay, gorgeous, it’s okay. Let it out.”
That hit me the hardest. Was I so messed up that I craved someone’s permission to let go? “Gabriel,” I cried, the sobs rolling from me effortlessly. “I should have saved him,” it was like I was wanting him to chastise me, needing him to tell me that, yes, you should have saved your brother.
“No,” he assured, “no, no, no. Baby,” he squeezed me tighter and pressed his face against the side of my head. We breathed one another in, and became beautifully tangled in each other’s warmth. Delightful heat blossomed in my chest at him calling me that. “Don’t blame yourself,” he said, “don’t cut yourself down like that. You couldn’t have saved him, nobody could have – he wouldn’t want you to be like this.”
I tried to suck in a breath but only seemed to get snot. “I’m sorry,” I offered, and then I offered it again and again, so many times that I thought I’d never speak another word outside of sorry again.
“It’s okay,” Gabriel promised, and he promised with the weight of his whole being behind it – and like a fool, I found myself believing him.
“I didn’t want to burden anybody,” I coughed, feeling a pain in my ribs – flashes of the drugs screaming through my head; colors swirling and forming the despicable face of Damien. “I-I never meant for this, to be like this.”
“That’s the thing, sweetheart. We never do. That’s called life, and it happens to each and every one of us. Only difference between you and someone else, on the street? You’ve got people that give a shit about you, people that know you matter more than you think. The difference, is that I’m here, and I won’t let another fuckin’ thing happen to you.”
I sniffled and pulled back from Gabriel, feeling invisible fingers press against my heart. I searched those beautiful, pensive eyes, “How can you say that?” Hurt laced my tone, “why do you care so much?”
He grabbed my hand and held it tight in his own, “Because… I feel something for you, something that I haven’t felt in a long time,” Gabriel leaned in dangerously close to my lips, and the heat between us sparked into an inferno. “You scare the shit out of me,” his lips softly met with mine, and we kissed. Long and deep.
And for that instant, I was his Princess Buttercup – he, my Westley.
His lips were soft and firm, and so damn good. Wondrous warmth flooded me, and it felt like our kiss lasted forever; our slice of eternity.
We pulled away from each other slowly, and our eyes locked on one another. It was a slow dance. The sort of beauty that you thought were locked away, and only to be told in dreams or in plays; in the music that you listened to at night when you cried yourself to sleep. It was so much, that I shared Gabriel’s sentiment – how could I feel so much for a man that, even though I hardly knew him, it felt like I’d known him the night that we met.
It was frightening.
That was when he approached me again, with another kiss. He pushed me back down against the couch, leaning some of his weight over me as he worked my mouth – his hand moving beneath my shirt and to my navel. Fire swam through my veins, and finding myself reinvigorated by his passion, I returned the kiss twice as hard. I wanted to taste him, wanted to taste all of him and in every way. Heat bloomed between my thighs and a sense of sexual urgency shot through my system; every fiber of my being demanding to be touched.
Gabriel continued his assault, flicking his tongue inside of my mouth and having our tongues dance together – each pass another hard, yet silky twining. Our lips smacked together, and the sound of our passion. Whatever our passion was, exactly, filled the night.
Was this all just some fleeting thing? It couldn’t last. This was just an arrangement, or at least, that was what I was slowly trying to convince myself of.
Though with his tongue forced against me, I didn’t have much time to think.
Gabriel pulled away from me, the coloring of devil’s love etched within his eyes. He peeled off the shirt he’d let me borrow, and my mind flashed back to when he broke out that wicked knife. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed, and as though he were overcome with me, he shot down to my lips. We made out with a ferocity like I’d never experienced; my teeth nipping at his lips, and moans rolling from the both of us.
“Gabriel,” I panted, it was like I was drowning in the magnificence of his person.
He broke away once more and fingered playfully at my bra. There was something else in his eyes now, something that made my pussy clench with utter delight.
Anger. “You’ve been teasing me since the night we met,” he whispered, and then leaned down to my ear and added, “I heard you in there.” Shivers rolled through my body, and my hairs stood up on their ends. He gave this sexy, dark chuckle. “I came just from listening to you,” Gabriel confessed, “took every ounce of power within me not to come in there and claim your little body.”
I wrapped my legs around his hard body, pulling him further against me and relishing in the heat of him, “I want you to fuck this bad pussy,” I whispered salaciously, grabbing at the back of his neck and digging my nails into his skin just a bit; moving my hips to try and stimulate his cock some. “Please,” I begged, pulling him in hard for a kiss, “use me.”
Gabriel’s deftly undid my bra and tossed it to the side, and he gave me a sly grin: “As you wish.”
I tried my hardest to keep a straight face, but just ended up laughing.
He dipped his head down to my breasts then, and sucked deep against my nipple. Each second that he was on it was bliss, giving me a tickling sort of pleasure that connected trails of heat to my pussy. Even before now, I was sure that I’d gotten well beyond wet – just thinking about his huge cock slipping inside of me, that was enough to make my head spin.
Gabriel groaned, “Whose nipples are these?”
“Mine,” I teased, placing a hand on the back of his head and feeling his hair.
He growled and removed himself from my soaked, stiff nipple, and brought a firm hand to my neck – letting me know just who was in control. That was when my clit started to wake up, and I felt a great need to be touched down there; I quietly slipped my hand beneath my pants, and Gabriel said, “Wrong answer. You’ve been fucked by boys,” his voice was so damn sexy, “but not by real men. Not by me. This?” He said, squeezing and playing with my breasts, giving them a sharp, delicious smack every now and again. “These? These are mine.”
“Yes,” I purred in response, reveling in the pain-tipped pleasure.
Gabriel’s hand caught my own, before I could reach the aching core between my legs. He removed my hand from my pants and carefully undid them; this permitted me to shimmy a couple of inches out of them, and his hand to dip to the base of my sopping wet pussy. “Whose is this, hmn?” He rasped, his fingers making small, circular motions that pushed me closer and closer to the brink of madness.
“Yours,” I gasped, my hands going for his form-fitting v-neck and lifting it off of him. I bit down on my lip as I drank in the hard, chiseled vision that was Gabriel. It wasn’t natural to look so damn good, did he ever eat something not good for him? It was seriously almost distracting, even as he made sure to tease me like a demon down there.
He went for my tits once more, sucking and pawing and kneading at them – flicking his tongue across each hardened nipple; sending little rivulets of pleasure throughout me. He then worked his way down further, leaving trails of kisses and sucks, and occasionally the sexy ass nip of his teeth. Warmth kissed at my body as he reached my panties, and pulled them off of me with his teeth.
That first feeling of his mouth on my damp sex, was complete bliss. I mewled like an animal in heat, and ran my fingers through his long, gorgeous brown hair. God, just wh
at the hell was he doing to me? What had I been so desperately needing and missing my whole life? None of those greasy, quick-shooting bastards that I hooked up with ever took the time to go down on me.
Just listening to those erotic sounds was enough to build me up. The music of Gabriel’s sexy, rough and tough groans; his tongue flicking against my clit and his mouth drinking me long and deep.
I writhed and ground my hips against his face, wanting to get every last bit of his stubble soaked with my filthy juices. “Fuck,” I purred somehow between cries of pure ecstasy, catching sight of his eyes looking up at me. So fucking hot. “It’s too much,” I mewled, “I’m—I’m gonna’ go mad, shit.”
Gabriel pulled himself from me, stringy ropes of pleasure juice bridging the gap between my pussy, “Let go,” he ordered, “I want to taste your cum.”
Nothing could have sent me over the edge so easily as that. After another couple of seconds, of having him tease my clit with his thumb and his mouth sucking me, that was it. I came with more intensity than I thought possible, making Gabriel’s mouth and jaw slick with that juice as I let out a strangled cry.
Panting for breath, my muscles gave out these little pleasure contractions and a satisfied weight sank into my bones. The world around me seemed clearer, and after a moment of time – I sank back down in the couch, physically and spiritually. “Holy shit,” I breathed, bringing my hands over towards my breasts and pushing up against them, letting my fingers glide over my nipples.
Gabriel wiped at his mouth and like a predatory animal, he kept his eyes locked on mine while crawling toward me. His lips crashed against mine and I could taste that strange-sweetness of my own sex, combined with the deliciousness that was his mouth and tongue. Jesus I didn’t want to stop, my body was still firing on all cylinders. Feeling the weight of him above me like that, the comforting embrace of being so close to a human being that was real with me?
There just wasn’t anything like it. This was how sex was supposed to be. Passionate, lusting and giving a shit about how someone feels.
If only my first lays had gotten that message.
My hand went to the bulge in his pants, and I stroked against it as best I could given my position. Damn he was an impressive specimen.
Letting out a gravelly noise of appreciation, Gabriel straddled me, squeezed hard at my pale tits and then got off of the couch. Must be in a lot of pain, I could see just how desperately his manhood wanted to be inside of me. He peeled off his jeans inch by glorious inch, revealing his dark boxer-briefs and a whole bunch of muscle. Once it sprang free, I was done. Like a molten punch to my gut, those heady waves of lust filled me all over again – surely my eyes widened in appreciation, because my mouth was damn near drooling.
“Never seen one like this, have you?” Gabriel’s voice was smooth, taunting, and dark as dusk.
“Nuh-uh,” was all I could manage. Teenage me would have scoffed at the idea of scoring such a beautiful piece of work. Mentally, emotionally? I was doing cartwheels.
Just as I moved, so that I was sitting up on the couch, Gabriel stepped forward and with clear intent, he gripped me with that beastly hand and forced me to the head of his cock. I gasped out loud, and a wave of excitement ran through me at being taken with such invigorating control. Looking up at him with wicked eyes, I knew that – no matter what else did, or didn’t happen, that we would be having a lot of fun tonight.
“Yeah,” he darkly purred, “you like that, Rockstar?” He brushed the head of his thick cock along my cheek and lips.
“Mmm yeah,” that was what I said, but in the back of my head all I could do was panic – I’d never taken something in like this before. I haven’t even given that much head.
“I want you to take it all,” he said, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pushing me down onto the first couple of wondrous inches.
Letting my lips sink all the way down his hardness, I kept my eyes fixed on Gabriel – rocking my head back and forth, moaning now and again on each ascent. Feeling him tremble just a bit was like a burning ecstasy to me, to know that I was giving him such pleasure. Tilting my head, I bobbed all along that amazing shaft, taking in the salty-sweet taste of his sex. If a girl like me had to come home to something like this each night, I could die happy.
Gabriel slowly threw his head back, giving me a nice shot of his bold Adam’s apple. He gave this drop-dead sexy groan, and sucked in some air. The hard muscles of his body, in all their multi-colored tattooed glory, were a real feast for the eyes. Each pec looked damn near chiseled; and his abs were so tightly knit together.
I brought my hand down to the sopping mess that was my pussy, and gave myself a delightful tease. When Gabriel pushed me down to the root of his cock, I made a scratchy kind of noise from my throat and jerked back immediately – pulling off of his slick shaft. I left little trails of saliva and pre-cum, and wiped at my mouth, coughing.
“Are you okay?” He asked, easing his grip on me and petting at the side of my face.
“Yeah, I’ve just… never done it like this before,” I replied, composing myself for a short moment and then trailing kisses along his cock.
“Could have fooled me,” he said and smiled, “your beautiful mouth was made to be fucked.”
When he said that it felt like the whole room got hotter, and I was sure that he could see me blushing then. Licking my way back up, I plunged down on his shaft and worked him hard and quick. Every inch of my pussy was clenching up with the thought of riding him, but I assumed that he didn’t have a condom laying around – or maybe he wasn’t willing to go that far with me?
It’s not like this could last. This was just basic instinct. Even if I felt… feelings. Damaged goods was stamped over the both of us, and there wasn’t any denying that.
Pushing myself out of those thoughts, I hummed as I cupped his balls, my other hand sliding over towards his rock hard ass and pulling at him.
Gabriel rocked his hips to match my rhythm, and with every ragged breath and sound of sinfully delicious appreciation that he gave me, I felt pangs of sexual joy. “Fuck, Madeline,” he burst, cupping both sides of my face and picking up his pace. “Take every last drop.” He threw back his head once more and let out these awesome grunts of pleasure; I could feel his cock twitching almost down to my throat, as he spurted off seed after hot seed.
Unsheathing from his still very erect cock, I left little trails of cum and saliva behind as I coughed. Between those coughs and sniffles, all the while preening at my freshly used mouth, I smiled up at him. There wasn’t much time to rest when he picked me up and carried me over to his bed, making me squeal like a darn fool with excitement.
He threw me onto the bed.
We came together in a chorus of giggling and growls and purrs.
When I felt his fingers slip inside of me, and start to work me over – that beautiful, familiar warmth filled me all over again.
Gabriel didn’t take me in all the ways that I’d envisioned in my fantasy, but his command and his tenderness and his attention to making my body sing with pleasure; that touched me in a way I’d never felt before. Like I was something real, and not just a fake person marking down moments of time with each breath.
He breathed life into me that night, and a thorn of fear pricked at my heart.
18
Gabriel – Six Years Ago
Depression. Sinking, swallowing, and all consuming. There was nothing in this world like it, nothing that I’d felt before could match it.
And nobody seemed to understand.
The Wolves won that game on that fateful night. But I lost everything. I’d spent the better part of four weeks in a hospital, and Lysandra had only come to see me twice – both times with Bret Cannes; he was now the newly appointed QB.
Go figure. You can’t really be a star with a useless, splintered to all hell leg.
My one saving grace, where my so called friends and my lover failed me, was the brothers and sisters of the Steel Knights. Dad ma
de sure that each and every last one of them showed up on the weekly; although for most of them he didn’t even have to mention. What none of them knew was that I cried that first night they all showed up, even before Lysandra and Bret. The love and empathy that they poured into me was unreal, and the greatest part about it was that none of it felt fake – it was all just so… genuine.
How they could feel that way for me I’d never understand. I may have been part of the club by blood, but my daily, even weekly, interactions with them were next to nothing – especially compared to everyone else’s grandfathered in kid. They brought me all kinds of food and flowers and handwritten notes about how they knew I’d get through this, and how they remembered me from when I was just a young boy.
The only part of it that I didn’t like was seeing the theatrics of Mr. Death. Fucking Rochester, even after all these years I couldn’t even begin to forgive him; worse so, I just didn’t understand why he was the way that he was. Why he treated me like a dog, or some thing to be molded.
When he put his arms around me I wanted to kill him. I’d never wanted to kill someone before, but in that moment? The heat in my chest was just too much. I shouted that he get off of my, and everyone in the room tensed up – I just couldn’t hide my fury.
Maybe, at the end of the day, he was the reason that I never wanted to be more than in the periphery of the club.
But how could I abandon all of those people?
All that time I spent languishing in front of doctors and nurses; to the sound of machines blipping throughout the endless days and nights. Made me think that I needed to move past the grudges and the hate that I held in my wicked heart for J.D. If only for the sake of being reunited with my true family, in the Steel Knights. Through all of this bullshit, there was a constant humiliation that I couldn’t rip from my person; that I needed help with day-to-day things. It was like all my strength had been sapped from me, and I just couldn’t understand why this felt like such a big deal to me.
Self loathing stabbed at me on the hour, like a constant reminder I couldn’t ignore.
