by Liz K. Lorde
Even I didn’t expect to still be here.
But in that moment, there was this undeniable electricity between us. And if I wanted to yell at him, the urge to kiss him and feel his scruff along my face was ten times as powerful.
When I sucked in a breath, he took a firm, long stride towards me. He picked me up in his great arms with the utmost ease, and just like that, in an instant my soul was flying again. He held me against his hard chest, his hands digging into my ass – and our lips met hard against one another. It was a kiss of wanting, passion and lust. A kiss so wanton and wild, as our teeth nipped at one another’s mouth, that I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to kiss another man – how could I?
Nothing would compare to Gabriel.
And nothing scared me more than that.
I adjusted myself against him and somehow managed to pull off of those delectable lips, they seemed to know my every want and whim. “You were gone so long,” I breathed, a flood of heat cascading against me – pooling particularly between my legs. “You’re still an asshole.”
“Call me whatever you want,” he huffed, “I’ll still be the asshole inside of you.”
The words sent chills up my spine, and my pussy clenched tightly together just at the thought. Was he just teasing me on purpose? I couldn’t believe him right now – this shit was all too much for my heart and my head to take.
Gabriel moved me across the room and pushed me up against the white of the wall, my back pressing firmly against it – his ferocious eyes looked right into mine. “I want you,” he growled, “no. I need you,” he sucked in a sexy breath, “but you don’t know what it’s like. This isn’t a life for just any girl outside the club. While I was with the guys, I couldn’t stop thinking about you – like you put a damn, spell on me or something.”
I ran my fingers through his beautiful hair, loving the way my fingers swept along his scalp. “I’m not just any girl,” I breathed, my body firing on all cylinders for this man. There was something in his eyes though, some glimpse of hesitation – even with my assurance; the man had demons that didn’t want to let go. Just like me.
We came together for another series of long, hard kisses. Our bodies melding together in a tight and hot as fuck embrace. Every taste of him was a new ecstasy, every sound that his lips made – each suck and dance with his tongue; it all filled me with this raw desire. Raw desire to ride his cock, to make him sweat and have him yell my name ‘till his throat burned.
But he pulled away… Gabriel pulled away frustrated as all hell, making that sexy low noise; it always seemed to make my stomach fall. He then made a quick grunt and carried me into his bedroom, throwing me onto the bed and showering me with kisses and hard touches.
Before I knew it, we were both relieved of our clothes, and his thick, throbbing manhood seemed to make my head go blank. “Down on the cock,” he ordered, grabbing a fistful of my hair and forcing me onto his shaft. Bobbing my head up and down, I took in as much of him as I could – savoring the sweet, musky smell of the man. Every second that I tasted him only served to deliciously frustrate my clit, so I sent a hand below and worked at it teasingly. Listening to his groans, my heart picked up in my chest and I moaned as best as I could, even while still having him inside of me.
Gabriel brought his hands to my face and held me in place, “Look at me,” he said low, “look at me,” he repeated three times over. He thrust himself into me, like he was some kind of machine – and I was just a hole for him to fuck. It was brutal, but beautifully intense. Every nerve on my body was alive with energy, pleasure kissing at my nipples; desire was ripening quickly between my legs, and for each pump that he made, I played with my wet pussy all the harder.
He cursed beneath his breath. Called me beautiful and with a beast like intensity, grunted out how he was going to fill my throat with his warm, delectable seed. Gabriel threw his head back and gave a final thrust; in turn, I went as far as I could to sheathe his cock. His hardness spurted out long ropes of white inside my mouth, and I gagged some – keeping my arms locked around his tight ass.
“Jesus, Madeline. Fuck!” He pulled in a breath, and a shiver of delight rolled through me when I felt Gabriel shudder in bliss.
After cleaning up, Gabriel pulled me over to the back of the bed – sitting me on his naked lap while he pressed his back against the headboard. It wasn’t much of a surprise to me, when I felt his cock stir beneath me with renewed desire. The temptation to slip him inside of my still very slick pussy, well, it was maddening to say the least.
Gabriel brought his hand down between my legs, and he started to pet and tease at me, humming something low from his chest. “I don’t normally do this,” he confessed in that sultry, push-you-up against the wall, voice.
“For your bed’s sake, I hope not.”
“No,” he chuckled, pulling me harder into his embrace – so much so, that I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Then he brought one hand to the back of my head, and another to my chin; he pulled me in for a long, deep kiss, one that would make me never able to forget him. He searched my eyes for what felt like forever. “I can’t change who I am, Madeline.”
I threaded my hand together with his and held it tight, giving him a dismissive scowl. “Yes you can. If I can change, so can you. It’s human nature to change… isn’t it?” The hurt buried inside of me crept out in those last few words.
The lines of his face tightened, and he squeezed my hand right back. “Yeah,” he whispered, bringing his thick fingers up to my face and petting me – I could still smell my own arousal on him. “But not always for the better. You don’t even know half of the shit about me, what I do – what my club does.”
It burned me up inside that he was being so stubborn, and so sweet all at the same time. I pushed off his stroking hand from my face, “So tell me. I want to know. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize that meeting you… going with you, instead of Jasmine? Well, I’ve never—“ it wasn’t easy for me to say. And even then, the fingers of doubt still raked at my mind.
“Never what?”
Never had my heart ache so beautifully before. “Just, tell me what they do. What you do.”
He gave me a stern look, like he might work the answer from my mind later – it sent a cold, delightful shiver through me. “I kill people, Madeline.” He said it so casually, like he would do it after grabbing some milk from the grocery store. “Bad people,” he corrected, nodding his head, “but people all the same. And it… it does something to you, it really, really does. Anything more than a one night stand isn’t a good fit for me,” I could see and feel the anger rising, coloring his handsome face.
“Don’t be such a coward,” I chided, putting my hand on his face, now. “You’re anything but that – so stop coming from a dark place like that.” I didn’t know how to feel about hearing him tell me that he killed people. Violence, especially outside of self-preservation, was something that I liked to stay away from; still, I knew that bad people in the world were never far from the good in the world, and that most only ever responded to brutality.
“No,” he susurrated, “don’t talk like you know it. You’ve never seen me take the light out of someone’s eyes. Scum or no, it changes you. You’re nothin’ more than a kid to me, beautiful.”
Before he could say anything else I drew away from him and went to my knees on the bed, straightening out my back. “I’m not some kid,” I practically hissed, warmth brushing at my midsection. “Your dick seems to get pretty hard with this ‘kid’ – I think it’s making you stupid in the head.”
Gabriel stiffened in his position on the bed, and he rolled his jaw in anger – if I wasn’t starting to get so pissed, I would have found it drop-dead sexy.
No, no. Still sexy. “Look,” he raised his voice, to the point that it was nearly booming; his veins were showing around his neck, and his pecs tightened up. “I want you,” he rasped, “I want you more than anything I’ve ever fucking wanted before. It
doesn’t make sense, I was never supposed to feel this way about you. About anyone. I’m trouble, rockstar – if I’m fire, you’re gasoline.” Gabriel sucked in a hard breath.
I didn’t say anything. I was too damn pissed. We sat there for a moment in the tense silence – and I just knew that there was something he wasn’t telling me. Something more than all of this bullshit. I gave him a scowl, but I felt the sheen of tears forming in my eyes – and I knew that if I stayed for too long, he’d see me cry.
I never let someone see me cry. Not if it could be helped.
Hustling off of the bed, I grabbed my clothes and quickly began to put them on. Midway through putting on my jeans, he said, “What, so you’re leaving now?”
“Yeah!” I lashed out, “I think it’s pretty clear to me now, Gabriel. What you wanted all this time, well you’re not getting anything else out of me. Trust me on that.” I had to look for my bra, but by the time that I found it – Gabriel was already on me. His touch on my wrist sent liquid fire through me, and I gasped at the suddenness of it; my eyes rounded.
His every step led me closer and closer to the wall of his bedroom, until I finally hit it. “What you do to me,” he husked, “it makes me crazy. But you’re not just some lay to me – if having to dig through all that trash, having to suffer through all the shit that I had to, leads me to you? Maybe it wasn’t all so fucked up after all.” Gabriel’s hands went to my waist, and he was so dangerously close to me now, that I could feel the licks of his body heat against me.
I swallowed hard, fighting against the tides of my own dark desires. “I’m going home in the morning,” I told him, and just saying the words sent a knife to my breast. “Being around you is saving me just as much as it’s killing me,” it was like drowning in ecstasy.
“No,” he told me like he had some say in the matter. Gabriel shook his head, the lines of his face darkening – his touch against me grew harder, and I felt a jolt run through me. “You’re not ready. You fall into old habits, old routines – you’ll fall back into what brought you to me in the first place.”
I summoned all of my strength just to pry those arms, so corded full of muscle, off of me. “I wasn’t asking for your permission,” it was strange, to be so sexually aroused at defying him. Some perverted, messed up part of me, really wanted him to bend me over and spank my ass red.
He smoldered for a bit, and then finally conceded with an angry thrust of his hand against the wall. Gabriel then swept a hand through his hair, and sucked in a long, slow, calming breath. “As you wish,” he said, and looked at me with those chocolate eyes. “Come on to bed. We’ll talk some more.”
“Nuh-uh,” I told him, closing the short distance between us – putting my hands on his muscular chest and pushing him back onto the bed. I shimmied off my jeans and panties, “First you eat. Then we open each other up,” I sashayed onto the bed, watching happily as Gabriel’s smoldering look turned to a devilish smirk.
***
After getting what was coming to me, and with the lights all turned off, I snuggled into Gabriel’s chest – circling my finger along his tattoos. “I could get addicted to that,” I mewled, my body happy and content. I reached a hand down past his waist, grabbing at his semi-hard cock. “This too.”
He sucked in a tight breath and grabbed my face, kissing at my lips. “Can’t get enough, can you?”
“Never,” I purred, before releasing him and placing my ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he held me. “Since we’re not fighting or fucking,” I whispered, “is there some story behind… you know. You not…”
“Taking this?” He asked, sending a hand to the wetness between my legs and cupping it.
“Y-yes,” I managed to say, battling the first waves of tantalizing pleasure.
Gabriel pulled his hand away and stretched out briefly. “It’s a long story.”
“I like long stories.”
“Not ones that are this long,” he countered.
“Leave out the boring parts, then.”
He rolled his eyes, “The boring parts are what make the good ones so exciting.”
“Stop being insufferable and—“ I swept a hand absently through the air, and said in a mock tone, “—regale me.”
“Yeah. Anyways. Take a look at me and tell me, what do you see?”
I drank in his figure. I see my teenage fantasy, although he’s not oiled up, I guess. “A naked dude.”
Gabriel frowned, “Would you believe me if I told you, that I didn’t always want to be a part of brothers that I ride with? Because I didn’t. I was QB in high school, and back in the day that was all that mattered to me.” He sucked in a breath, and I adjusted myself so that my chin was resting on my hand. “ There was… this girl, too. Not just any girl, she was something special to me. She was at least.” Gabriel’s eyes glimmered with sadness, and did I dare to think, hatred? “Lysandra. That girl was my high school sweetheart, so to speak,” he let out a dark chuckle.
“More than that, really. In those days, I thought she was my everything. Figured that I’d never love or want something as—” he stopped himself then, as if he was going to say something that he couldn’t take back. My heart squeezed in my chest. “—I just, I loved her. I’d known her my whole life. Anyway, I was QB back in the day…”
“You weren’t kidding,” I slipped into his story and gave a sassy smile. “About it being long and bor-r-ring.” It was my way of trying to make things less serious.
Gabriel smirked and tugged on my hand, causing me to squeak. “Just be a good listener for five seconds, will ya?” He pulled in a breath. “I was QB, and we needed one more win to go down in our teams history as the GOAT line-up. So there was a lot of pressure that night. Somehow, I managed to bust my foot - but we won that night. My best friend Bret helmed the QB position, meanwhile I got shoved into the arms of doctors that I wanted nothing to do with.”
“You don’t seem like the doctor liking type,” I added.
“What gives you that impression,” he snarked. “Lysandra didn’t come to see me, and when she did, it felt fake. Felt… not real. When I got home and back to school, getting around was hard and I felt embarrassed - which is stupid, I know. I asked my old ‘friends’, my previous football teammates, what was going on; Lysandra wouldn’t talk to me, and she was never around. Something else, was that Bret was missing in action too. Well, I finally caught wind of what was going on.”
Fiery eels wormed their way through my belly, just listening to the hurt in his tone was enough to make me feel horrible for Gabriel. He continued: “They were sneaking behind my back, and had been hooking up even before my injury. Sneaking off and shooting up heroin down at Raven’s Rook.”
“Jesus,” I said in a small gasp. “That’s… I’m sorry, honey.” It wasn’t even like me to say such things, but I kissed the back of his mighty hand; wanting to drink in and take away all of his suffering. “What’s Raven’s Rook?”
“Yeah,” he said low and somber, taking a knee, so to speak. “You never heard of it?” I shook my head. “Maybe it was only a thing in my day, or maybe they call it somethin’ else now. It’s a little cave where the fiends gather, and the dealers like to swing by and have them feel out their fresh supplies or new shit. Fucking, needles everywhere and… it’s bad, Mads.”
I brushed back a strand of my black and red hair, still listening to his tale. “So, for a long time I couldn’t catch or get ahold of either of them - because they were gone so much from school and from their homes. But I convinced Allen, who’s President of my old club, to take me down to Raven’s Rook. Well, one day, beneath the cover of the evening - he got me down there.” Gabriel moved closer to me. “Sure enough the two of them were there, along with half a dozen other junkies. Predictably, they were getting high.”
No wonder he’s been so easily upset around me. Gabriel licked his lips, “With Allen’s help, I moved past the strung out pieces of shit and confronted her. Confronted Bret, too. She told
me how she never loved me, and that she just enjoyed the attention that I gave her - and at the time, you bet your ass I believed her. Now? She was probably in such a dark, messed up place, that she didn’t fully mean what she said.” He dipped his head slightly, “that’s her loss, though. And his. He didn’t have any excuse, Bret, no. He just kept saying that he was sorry, and that if it wasn’t him it would be someone else. Allen beat the shit out of him.”
The anger was rising in Gabriel’s voice. “He beat him to a bloody pulp and broke his leg as payback for helping to break my heart. Warned Lysandra that if she ever came crawling back to me, that he’d do the same to her too. He spat on her before we left, too.”
“Fucking Christ,” I said. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, that’s how it all went down. Suffice to say, I became bitter. Dropped out of highschool. Picked up my GED years later. Abandoned all of my old friends and after what Allen and the guys had did for me, I made sure to do like my dad wanted. I joined the Steel Knights,” there was a hint of pride in his voice. “They’re my brothers, Madeline. And I’d lay my life on the line for them, without a doubt. But it’s not all hugs and beer and partying. You know?”
I rolled my head, and nodded.
“You say you’re okay with me killing people. Killing bad people—”
“Killing bad people isn’t bad,” I interrupted. “Do you get pleasure from it?” That was the question that scared me to ask it. The answer, I might not like.
Gabriel didn’t answer for a little while, so I focused on the quickened beating of my heart. Finally, he replied, more so with his eyes than his mouth, “Some.”
The smallest wave of disgust rolled through me, but in my mind I was already finding ways to justify it. “Some?”
“It makes me happy to know I’m taking out people that would hurt MY people. I guess, that makes me fucked up - or a psychopath. Or both.”
“You’re not a psychopath,” I assured him. “You just, you’re a hard person - and there’s not much you can do to change that. Do you think you could stop?”
