by Joy Argento
“Can you change your clothes by yourself?” Andi asked, as she pulled a T-shirt and sweatpants from Emily’s dresser.
“I think so.” Emily did her best to keep her words from slurring, concentrating on pronouncing the th clearly. She couldn’t tell if she was successful or not. “I’ve been changing my clothes like a big girl since I was three.” She giggled. “I need to check on Mindy first.” She started to stand up, but the room took a sharp turn to the left and she sat back down to stop its motion.
“You change your clothes. I’ll go check on Mindy.” Andi closed the door behind her.
She was gone for only a minute or two. She knocked lightly on the door before entering Emily’s room again.
“Who is it?” Emily said a little too loudly. She giggled again.
“Aren’t you funny?” Andi said. “I thought you were going to change.”
“I was trying.” Emily realized that she had managed to put the T-shirt on—well, all but one arm—but hadn’t touched the sweatpants. Her strapless black dress was crumpled on the floor. Andi picked it up and laid it neatly across the chair near the end of the bed, then helped Emily get the rest of the T-shirt on.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” Emily did her best to stand up and get to the bathroom, but only managed to take one step. The vomit landed in heap at her feet. How she managed to miss herself and Andi, she didn’t know. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The third option appeared to be to die from embarrassment.
Andi disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a towel and a wet washcloth. She eased Emily back onto the bed, watching where she stepped. The washcloth was warm as she wiped Emily’s face and gently wiped it again with the towel. She placed the towel over the mess on the floor and returned to the bathroom, coming back with a glass of water and the bathroom trash can. She set the can by the bed.
“Drink this.”
Emily took the glass and began to cry.
“Oh, honey, it’s all right. You’re okay.” Andi rubbed a hand up and down her back.
The contact made Emily feel better. She sipped the water and did her best to hold back the remaining tears.
“It’s right here if you want more.” Andi set the glass of water on the nightstand. “Okay?”
Emily nodded.
“Can you stand for a second while I get the blankets moved?” Andi helped her to her feet and held her in place while she pulled back the blanket and bedspread. “Okay. Lie down.”
Emily did as she was told.
“That’s right.” Andi pulled the blanket up around Emily. She cleaned up the mess on the hardwood floor using the towel and washcloth. She left again and returned with cleaning supplies to finish the job.
Emily watched her. “I’m sorry.” A fresh round of tears rolled down her cheeks. “I only wanted us to have a good time.”
Andi gave her a reassuring smile. “We did have a good time, right up till the puking part.”
More tears. Andi’s smile did little to make her feel less horrible.
“It’s okay, Em. Honest.” Andi brushed the hair from Emily’s cheek and wiped her face again with a fresh washcloth. She leaned over and kissed Emily gently on the forehead before shutting off the light and leaving the room, this time leaving the door ajar.
***
Andi threw the towels and washcloths in the washer, added detergent, and turned it on. She checked on Mindy—sound asleep—and made herself comfortable on the couch. She thought back on the evening and the almost kiss, the kiss Andi wished she could have accepted. The kiss she would have accepted if Emily hadn’t been drunk. But the last thing she wanted was to take advantage of Emily or have Emily hate her in the morning. Emily had just been caught up in the moment and the excitement of the evening. Andi was sure of it. If she wanted to keep Emily as a friend—and she did—she needed to be careful. Emily had said she wanted to explore this newfound life, and Andi was determined to let her. She would just have to stuff her feelings and her libido down. The last thing Emily needed was Andi being clingy or declaring her feelings. That would only confuse Emily, and Andi didn’t want to risk having her pull away.
Andi tried to sleep but her brain wouldn’t shut down. It replayed the evening again and again. Emily had pressed hard against her when they danced. The thought sent a surge of electricity though her. Emily’s hair was soft under her fingertips, her scent fresh in her nose, her body… Stop it! Just stop it. This kind of thinking was getting her nowhere. She was going to make herself crazy.
She got up, switched the laundry from the washer to the dryer, and made herself a cup of tea. Plopping down on the couch again, she turned on the TV and flipped through the channels without really paying attention to what was on. Emily was sleeping in the other room. Emily. It would be so easy to slip in next to her. To hold her close and listen to her breathe. So easy.
Chapter Thirteen
A pounding head and what felt like a mouth full of cotton greeted Emily in the morning as she struggled to wake up. Fragments of memory from the night before skidded through her head, but some parts were a blank. She sat up trying to gather her senses. She realized that instead of her usual nightshirt, she had on a T-shirt and no bottoms. She noticed a pair of her sweatpants on the side of the bed and pulled them on.
Details from the previous evening began to creep in as she brushed her teeth in an attempt to lose the bad taste in her mouth. She rinsed her mouth with Scope and brushed her teeth again. That’s probably as good as it’s going to get. She had a vague memory of playing pool and dancing with Andi. I must have had a very good time, seeing how bad I feel this morning.
Taking medicine for her headache on an empty stomach might not be a good idea. I wonder if toast would help ease this queasy stomach or make it worse. She made her way toward the kitchen, almost in slow motion. She stuck her head in Mindy’s room as she passed. Still sound asleep.
Emily was surprised to see Andi sleeping on the couch and tiptoed the rest of the way to the kitchen. She considered making a pot of coffee so it would be ready when Andi woke up but decided against it. She was sure the smell would make her sick. Sick. Sick? I think I got sick last night. Oh my God, I think I threw up last night and Andi had to clean it. Oh. My. God.
“How are you feeling?”
Emily jumped at the sound of Andi’s voice. She turned toward her a little too fast and grabbed the counter for balance. “Andi. I am so sorry. I drank too much last night. That is so not me. I definitely don’t drink like that.”
“It’s okay. You had a good time.”
“How good a time? Did I get sick when I got home?”
“Just a little.” Andi held up her hand, her thumb and finger about a half an inch apart. “Oh, that reminds me, you have some towels and washcloths in the dryer. I fell asleep before they were done.”
“Andi, I’m so sorry. Really. Really sorry.” She put her face in her hands.
“It’s fine. So, how are you feeling?”
“Not too good. In fact, I think shitty would be a step up. You don’t know any good hangover cures, do you?” Emily sat down at the table.
“I think there’s one with raw eggs. Want some raw eggs?”
Emily held one hand over her mouth and the other in the air in front of her in an attempt to get Andi to stop. Not that she didn’t deserve it.
“No, guess not. How about some Tylenol and dry toast, then?”
Emily nodded. “Thank you. There are pain meds in the cupboard next to the fridge.”
Andi handed them to her with a glass of water.
“How come you’re not hungover?” Emily asked after downing the pills.
“One of us had to stay sober to make sure you didn’t get into any trouble. Besides, I didn’t feel like taking a cab home.” Andi made toast for Emily and put two more slices of bread into the toaster for herself.
“Oh damn. I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”
Andi leaned against the counter. “That depends on what y
ou call stupid.”
“What did I do? No. I don’t want to know. What did I do?” Emily shook her head.
“No worries. I was there to look out for you.”
“Thank you, Andi. I remember dancing. Did I dance with you? Did we dance?”
“We did.”
Fragments of evening floated by but Emily couldn’t quite capture them. She wanted to remember dancing with Andi. She wanted to remember what if felt like to have Andi’s arms around her. “Maybe we can do that again sometime when I’m sober.” Emily smiled despite the drum section playing in her head.
“I would like that very much.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Damn it, damn it, damn it.” Emily couldn’t decide what to wear. “How do I get myself into these things?” The sick feeling that rose up in her stomach was all too familiar. Maybe I just won’t go.
Emily pulled two more blouses from her closet. She held them up in front her one at a time and looked in the full-length mirror. She threw both shirts on the large pile forming on the bed and went back to the closet to see what else she had to choose from. Seven shirts later she decided on a lavender blouse with black pants. It looked nice while still being casual. She decided against wearing her comfortable sneakers and slipped on a pair of black flats instead. A light application of makeup and a sweater completed the look.
***
“Welcome, ladies, thank you for coming. I can tell already that we’re going to have some fun here tonight. This is lesbian speed dating, so if you’re looking for a man you are in the wrong place and should leave now.” There were a few polite laughs at her stab at humor. The hostess—was that what she was called?—looked like she’d skipped a few too many meals. Her large, dangling earrings threatened to pull her over at any minute.
Emily looked around the poorly lit room. Soft music played in the background as twenty or so women milled about. She was amazed by the different looks that the women sported. There were a couple of women that Emily would have thought were men if she saw them on the street. One woman wore a suit, complete with vest and tie, hair cut short and slicked back. A few women had on dresses and makeup. The rest of the women fell somewhere in between.
“Now, you were all given a number when you arrived. Does everyone have a card with their number?” There were murmurs all around. “Good,” the hostess continued. She was way too perky or caffeinated. “Each table has two numbers on it. This tells you your starting place. You will have exactly three minutes to talk to the woman sitting across from you. When you hear this bell…” She held up a brass cowbell and rang it for all she was worth. Definitely overkill. “…if your number is an even number, for example, two, four, six and so on, you stay seated. If your number is an odd number, for example, one, three, five and so on, you move one table to your left. Does anyone not know if their number is an odd or even number?”
Oh, dear God. If anyone here doesn’t know what an odd or even number is, I don’t want to be dating them.
No one raised their hand. Several minutes and way too much instruction later, Emily grew impatient. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back again, willing the hostess to finish so they could get started.
“On the back of the card you are holding there is a list of numbers. You can choose yes or no for each number. If you wish to have further contact with any particular person, check the yes box next to their number. If not, check the no box. At the end of the evening, turn your cards in and you’ll get an email tomorrow with the names and contact information of everyone that you had interest in that also had interest in you.” She appeared to be out of steam after that long explanation. “Are there any questions?”
One hand went up, and everyone turned to look at a young woman with a bright pink streak down the center of her bleached blond hair. More disturbing than that were the five rings in her lower lip. Emily absently rubbed her own lip in the same spot.
“Um, yeah,” pink-haired girl said. “What if we, like, want to get together with someone here, but they don’t want to get together with us, so, like…is there like any way to get together with them if, you know, they don’t have any interest in us? I mean, they really can’t know us from three minutes, and if they had, like, five minutes, they might like us?”
Emily wondered how she could get that all out in one breath without passing out.
Pinky continued. “I have been to, like, literally a million of these things and I can’t seem to meet the people I want to.”
Emily smiled when she said literally and thought of Andi.
“Hmm, well, we can’t give out any information to you if someone marks no on their card. Any other questions?”
Emily caught a glimpse of the number on the card the young woman was holding—eleven. Emily turned her card over and put a big X in the NO column next to that number.
Miss Perky held up the bell again. “Okay then, shall we get started? Everyone, please take your seats.” She rang the bell and made a grand production out of pulling a stopwatch from her pants pocket.
Emily took her seat at the table with the number eight, corresponding to her card, on it. A moment later an attractive woman with dark blond hair that hung in soft curls around her face sat down across from her.
Okay. I can do this.
“And time staaaaarts now.” The hostess rang the bell and pushed the start button on the stopwatch.
“She’s a little obnoxious, isn’t she?” number seven said.
Emily smiled. “Hi. I’m Emily.”
“Tina.”
“I’m an art teacher. What do you do?”
“I’m a nurse at Saint Joseph Hospital.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting.”
“It is. It’s very interesting being a nurse.”
“What kind of a nurse are you? I mean do you have a specialty?”
“Just general.”
Emily searched her mind for questions. “Do you like it?”
“Yep.”
Okay, so I could just sit and look at her. The hell with talking. This isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. What else should I say? I need to get an actual conversation going here. We still have two and a half minutes left. “So, what do you like to do when you aren’t working?” That’s a good question. We can talk about that.
“Oh, not too much. I pretty much stay home with my cats.”
“You have cats, huh? How many do you have?” Emily was determined.
“Six.” Tina wasn’t making this easy.
“Six? Wow, that’s a lot of cats.”
“I don’t think so. My sister has ten.”
Emily sighed and glanced at her watch. She couldn’t believe how long three minutes was. She rested her chin on her hand and tapped her fingers on the table. “So why did you want to try speed dating?” We’ll try another approach.
“To meet people…women…I like women.”
“That makes sense. So, outside of teaching, I also paint in my spare time. Mostly oil paintings, but I also do some drawing.”
“That’s nice.”
Emily wished that they had served something to drink. At least that way she could sip a glass of wine or play with the straw in her soda or dump a glass of milk on this woman’s head just to liven things up. She couldn’t help but giggle to herself at her thoughts. Well, at least I can amuse myself. She attempted one more try. “Sooooo…” Oh, the hell with it. They sat in silence until the bell rang.
Emily turned her card over and marked the number seven with an X in the NO column.
“Hi, I’m number nine.” The next woman sat down and showed Emily her card as if she had to prove it.
“Nice to meet you, number nine. I’m Emily.”
Number nine laughed. “Sorry, my name is Jennifer. Jenny.” She reached across the table to shake Emily’s hand. This conversation went much better than the first. Number nine was a legal secretary. She was out at work and her coworkers had no problem with her being gay. Her family also knew a
nd, for the most part, were supportive, but her preacher brother wasn’t happy about it. She avoided him whenever possible. She wasn’t willing to give up family gatherings to avoid his rants. All in all, it was a good three minutes.
Number eleven, with the pink hair, sat down across from Emily. She talked and talked and talked. Emily wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but it was fascinating watching those rings bounce up and down as her lips moved. The annoying cowbell clanged. Thank God.
The next woman seemed very attracted to Emily. Emily could tell by the number of times she said, “I’m very attracted to you, Emily,” in the three-minute time frame. She also suggested several times that they leave “this joint, right now.” Emily put yet another X in the NO column on the back of the card.
Most of the other women were a blur as they came and went. By the end of the evening, there were only two Xs in the YES column, Jenny and Belinda. Both had been easy to talk to and very easy on the eyes.
After turning her card in at the door, Emily headed out to her car, anxious to call Andi. Besides wanting to tell her how everything went, she just wanted to hear the sound of Andi’s voice. It was exactly what she needed after such a nerve-racking evening.
Chapter Fifteen
Andi spread peanut butter on both slices of bread and stuck them together. Her phone sat on the counter next to her on speaker.
“Mindy’s home. I rented her a movie and got her some snacks. She’ll be fine. I don’t plan on being out late.”
Emily was sitting in her car outside of Loman’s Restaurant.
“Do you want me to check on her?” Andi asked. It had been a week since Emily’s speed dating evening and she was about to go on her first date with Jenny, the legal secretary.
