by Lucian Bane
“Where in the scriptures did you see this?” he asked, baffled.
Her mouth opened then shut. “I will have to gather them, I don’t know them all right off.”
“Pease do,” Dante said. “I would like to examine each with you.”
She eyed him. “You … don’t agree with this?”
“Not at all,” Dante said.
“Why not?” she asked, sounding confused and offended.
“Because it’s not true.”
“How do you know? Where are your scriptures?”
“Well, for one,” Dante said. “Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.”
“That’s the book of Hebrews,” she said. “And being sexually immoral defiles the bed.” As though it proved her point.
“How do you get feeling pleasure in the marriage bed is immoral out of that?”
“For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world. First John 3:16.”
“The marriage bed is not of the world, Rin. That is of God.”
She stared at him, cornered but unable to agree.
“Can you look at 1 Corinthians 7?”
She nodded and opened her bible. Dante studied her face while she read. “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” She looked up at him.
“Nevertheless,” Dante urged.
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
Dante had read those sentences out loud with her. “How many are they to have Rin?”
“One.”
“What else?”
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:”
When she paused, Dante finished it for her, “And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
She read further, “But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself.”
“But every man hath his proper gift of God,” Dante went on when she wanted to stop there. “One after this manner, and another after that.”
She eyed him. “So, it’s better not to. He just said it.”
“Rin, they were being hunted and murdered at that time. Paul recommended not marrying but he didn’t command it. He knew he had no right to command something like that but you’re missing the point. Finish reading that passage.”
She looked back down. “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows. It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”
“It is better to marry than to burn Rin. Do you know what burn means?”
She swallowed but didn’t lift her gaze.
“I think you know exactly what it means. You felt it the other night? But that wasn’t the first time you felt that burn.”
“Sin can burn too,” she gasped.
“And so can pleasure,” Dante said. “And no, not all pleasure is sin.” He took a breath and decided now or never. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
She sputtered a few breaths. “I can’t imagine it getting much more personal, Mr. Baston.”
God, he wanted to ask why she was suddenly calling him that. “Do you have pleasure with Daryl?”
She stared down for many seconds. “It pleases me to obey God.”
“Does he make you burn, Rin? With pleasure?”
She licked her lips and fought with an honest answer.
“Just say it Rin.”
“He …”
“Don’t worry about the answer, just say the truth.”
She rubbed her fingers along her forehead. “I … I think maybe I’m … I’m not …”
“Does he make you burn Rin, just answer it.”
“I don’t … I think no,” she finally gasped. “But I don’t think it’s his fault I think I may be the cause—”
“It’s not you, Rin. You burn just fine.”
She raised her gaze. “But I think I may, I may block it with him. Block the burn.”
“How so?”
“Because,” she whispered, suddenly wiping tears from her face. “Because I might … I think I hate him.” She nodded now. “I try not to, but I do,” she gasped. “And I’m very sure God doesn’t bless that, Mr. Baston.”
“Why do you hate him, Rin?” he asked gently.
She wiped her face as the tears fell faster. “Because I’m rebellious, I’m … I don’t always want to follow what God says. I don’t always want to submit to him or obey him.”
“Why not, Rin?”
“Because I don’t like it, I don’t want to.”
“Why Rin,” he urged, needing her to follow it all the way through. “What don’t you like, what don’t you want?”
She gasped, her mouth opening with attempts to think. “I don’t want him to touch me,” she said forcefully, her eyes not making it to his.
“Why not Rin?”
“B-because he-he’s disgusting and mean. He’s so mean,” she said louder. “He doesn’t even like me, he thinks I’m stupid.”
“How do you know that? Why would you say that?”
She aimed wide eyes at him and Dante fought to control his rage at the pain in them. “Because he tells me! You’re so stupid Rin, when will you repent, when will you let God fix you, when will you let the mercy of God fix you, you dumb girl.” She stood, shaking, her face crimped in agony. “I don’t like him touching me. The only way he makes me burn is with hate!” She nodded now. “You see, Dante? You see what he’s done, what I’ve let him do? I can’t stand to look at him I can’t stand for him to look at me. I’m glad he makes me lay on my stomach when we try to conceive, I don’t’ want to see his stupid face either! And I hope and pray to God that it hurts him just the same as it does me, I pray to God that we never conceive and I stay broken,” she slammed her hand on the table her voice breaking on those words. “Now you understand who is in sin?” she whispered. “It’s me Dante. I’m the one and I don’t even care that I am. That is why I’m barren you see? That is why I’m broken because I am this close,” she strained, “to praying he burns in hell.”
She spun around and hurried off. And Dante sure the fuck didn’t stop her because he needed a moment to catch his fucking head after hearing that.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
One Step Back
Dante thought a long while about everything Rin had said. It was hard but it was progress. Getting her to admit her feelings was huge. Now, he needed her to see Daryl’s sin and become just as intolerant to it. He dialed her number finally and mumbled softly, “Hey hot stuff, you cooled off?”
She didn’t answer him right away and he waited, biting his tongue. “I’m fine,” she finally said.
“Good. I need you to come over and let me get my work finished.”
“M-measuring?”
“Yep. Please wear something less than a mile thick so I can get accurate numbers.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Thank you much.” He hung up and stared at the phone. He’d better get his shit together for this one so he could get to the next big one.
Oddly, Rin did exceptionally well with maintaining composure during measurement—aside from a constant full body tremble he pretended not to notice. He was careful not to arouse her beyond what she already was. He needed that to happen differently or maybe not at all considering her current state of mind.
“I want you to know,” Dante said, writing his final numbers. “That everything you said to me earlier i
s a completely natural and good thing to feel in your situation.”
“Good?” she finally gasped after a few seconds.
“That’s right,” he said, setting his notebook down. “You’re actually quite normal to hate sin.”
“I think I’m hating a lot more than the sin, Mr. Baston.”
“Yes, Miss Rin, I understand that. But that too is normal. See, when the sinner marries their sin, they become one with it, making it very difficult to distinguish between the two.”
“Are we done?” she asked.
He stared at her, considering. “I need to ask you more questions.”
“Need?” she said, sounding doubtful.
“Yes, need,” Dante said, putting his pen down too hard. “Trust me, I could go five lifetimes not hearing …” She flashed her eyes up to him and he shook his head. “I didn’t mean ….”
“Be mindful of Leviticus 18 Mr. Baston.”
He stared at her and nodded a little. “Okay.”
“You don’t have to be here. You can quit any time you want.”
“Yes, I could,” Dante agree.
“Then what are you still doing here?”
“I guess the same reason you’re still here?”
She drew back a little. “And why am I here, Mr. Baston?” she hissed.
Dante walked up to her and she held his gaze until she had to stare up. “You tell me … Miss Rin,” he hissed back, watching her rage fill up her eyes. “Let me guess … you’re fulfilling God’s will? While you hate your husband?” Her lips tightened and trembled and he nodded slowly. “You plan to hate your problems away, Miss Rin? Cause I can tell you right now that hate? It only devours everything in its path. That what you want?”
Her nostrils fluttered with her pants now. “Maybe I do,” she grit finally.
He stroked a finger along her jaw and smiled a little. “Maybe you do,” he agreed. “But I don’t. And I won’t let you.”
“You can’t stop me.” She shook her head slowly. “Not if I don’t want you to.”
“But you do,” he whispered. “That’s why I’m here. You been praying in that pretty head of yours? God help me? Deliver me from sin? From evil?” He slid his thumb over her chin. “And here I am.”
“You’re nothing but a tempter,” she whispered.
He gasped a laugh at that one. “Whatever you want to call it, Miss Rin. Tempter, devil, bastard, I don’t care. Because I have a job to do. And I have questions to ask. Answers I don’t want to hear but I will because it’s part of the job. And one of those questions that I need to know … is … has Daryl ever hit you?”
“That’s not your business,” she shot out.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
She eyed him, back to furious. “You can take it however you want, I don’t care.”
“And do you know if Daryl is faithful to you?”
“Love assumes the best, Mr. Baston.”
“And when you’re hating him? What do you assume then?”
She faced him fully. “You have something to tell me?”
“And if I did? Would you hear it? If I told you your husband fucked other women right here in this guest house? Would you hear it?” he asked, pissed.
Her chest heaved now. “I’d say you’d better consider Exodus 20.”
“Trust me, I do. And if brought you proof? Then what?”
“Then I would remind you that the Lord hates divorce.”
“Oh of course you would. And you’d be right,” he said, nodding. “Probably not as much as he hates adultery.”
“And he desires us to forgive.”
“When we repent, yes,” Dante spat. “Remember that definition? To stop sinning? Stop hitting your wife, stop fucking around?”
“The love of God leads to repentance,” she shot back.
“So does the rod of reproof,” Dante countered.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What is your point?”
“How long have you been loving him with the love of God, Rin?”
“Do unto others as you would have him do unto you.”
He stared at her, amazed while fury bit him. He turned and kicked the stool across the room before facing her. “How about you stop cherry picking scriptures that get you out of doing what’s right? A man commits adultery and you’re giving him the royal treatment instead of giving him the divorce he deserves.”
“God hates divorce!” she cried incredulous.
“Why do you think He hates it Rin?” Dante yelled, making her flinch. “Answer me, Rin. Why? Why does He hate divorce!” he said getting before her face.
“Because what God has joined together let no man put asunder,” she hissed at him.
He shook his head, baffled. “You’re really saying this shit.”
“I’m saying the truth.”
“Oh, that you are,” he nodded, turning from her. “I’ve never quite seen the truth spun so perfectly into a lie. I’m done here. I can’t help you.”
“Why? Because I won’t let you bed me?”
He spun to her. “Bed you? I don’t bed women, Rin, I fuck them and if I wanted to fuck you, I would have done that already and you would have begged me to never stop. No, I’m leaving because I can’t help anybody who refuses it.”
“I’ve not refused anything! I just refuse to agree with your spin on God.”
“My spin?” he said, amazed. “And I guess Daryl’s spin of fucking other women in his guest house and hitting his wife is a better spin for you?”
“I never said it was,” she whispered, back to shaking.
“But you’re just willing to turn the other cheek?”
She lifted her chin. “That is the Christian way.”
“Bull. Fucking. Shit.”
“Oh you go ahead and use all your bad words, Mr. Baston. But you and Daryl? I don’t know what in the hell the two of you conspired to do here. But you both can go straight to hell about it because you are not dragging me with you. I will not sleep with another man to get pregnant. If God wants me pregnant then he will allow me to conceive with my husband.”
Dante’s brows narrowed hard with that one. “Is that what you think?”
“I have no doubt. It all became clear to me after praying. Why else would you be here, hired by Daryl, touching me and making me want you in sinful ways? And then Daryl insisting I take care of your needs?”
Dante’s muscles slowly tensed with his fury.
“That’s right. Dumb little Rin figured it out. But I wasn’t getting off track. My plan remains the same, I am going to remain steadfast in the Lord no matter how badly my flesh screams to take what I crave.”
Dante stared at her, momentarily mesmerized in that crazy moment. So … fucking breathtaking in that strength. God, he loved it, he wanted to root for her, then break her down with his mouth, his tongue and hands till she screamed the truth in his ear. Not loving her was vile to God. More vile than a thousand divorces.
“Then my time here is most certainly over, Miss Rin. Because there is one thing no amount of money will ever pay for. And that is being falsely accused of something I didn’t commit. I won’t lie and say I didn’t want to though. Or lie and say I don’t want you still. You have no idea how badly I crave to show you what a husband should be, how a wife should feel.” He watched her breaths pick up. “I know you want it too but I respect what you’ve got in here,” he pointed to his chest. “I respect that more than you know. I’ll call Daryl and let him know I’m done and that all you need to do is continue on the plan I leave you with.”
He turned, ignoring the glitter of tears in her eyes. “You can see yourself out, Rin. I’ll be out of here before the sun is up.”
He held his breath, waiting for her response, praying his bluff worked. And then the sound of the door shutting, hit his ears and his gut. He held back his shock. Had he just lost? Had he just gambled it all and fucking lost?
Or maybe he’d won. Maybe that was how it was supposed to go.
Fuck, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore and it was his turn to trust God.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Goodbye Dante
Rin paced her room, fighting for air. He was leaving. And that was good. If it was God’s will then that’s what he should do. That’s what he would do. And if it wasn’t God’s will, then … something would make him stay.
She went to her window and looked out. The light was still on. He was still there. Still awake. He’d said he’d be gone before dawn and it was two in the morning. She spied his shadow moving across the window and froze as all those things he said replayed in her head. About Daryl and his adultery. How would he know that if he didn’t know them? She was pretty sure Renee told him things. Her stomach knotted to think that Renee knew and hadn’t told her. Why wouldn’t she?
Stupid question. Renee wouldn’t, she would never tell her something like that and possibly get into trouble, lose her job, the only thing feeding her family.
She clenched her fist at the idea of Daryl daring to do that. Those images that had burned her mind from the internet plagued her now, only Daryl’s face was in them.
“Does Daryl hit you?”
Well, not anymore he doesn’t. She wouldn’t allow it. She would take chastisements but she would not be hit for just any, ungodly reason. She wasn’t perfect, she knew that and she could accept her punishments. But not this, and not that. She wouldn’t allow adultery. She would speak to him, question him. She needed to do it in a way that didn’t incriminate Dante. It wasn’t his fault. He’d taken the job because he needed the money and she had no desire to hurt him.
That part between her legs he’d fixed throbbed, making her gasp. She closed her eyes, breathing through the rush of heat. The burn. Yes, he’d made her burn. She was sure Daryl would never make her burn like that and that was okay. She’d lived that long without it and had survived, hadn’t she?
She should thank Mr. Dante for helping her. He’d helped her in many ways.
She flew out of her room and raced quietly down the stairs then out toward the guest house. She raised her hand to knock then paused, hearing his voice.
