by René, Dani
“Listen to me—”
“No, I will not listen to your lies. Not this time. You may have fooled me before, and yes, I may have been stupid enough to believe you, but this time is different. I’m not taking your charity,” I tell him, shoving my way out of the restroom. I slam into Ember who’s waiting outside. “What? You’re here to try to calm me down as well?”
“Just listen to us, please, Katerina,” Ember says calmly as if I’m a wayward child who needs to be put in the naughty corner. Any other time I may have agreed, but they lied. The acted as if they didn’t know me. They made me believe my secrets were mine to keep, but that was all a big fat lie.
Ignoring both brothers, I head down the hallway and out the main door. My heels click on the steps as I race toward the parking lot. There aren’t many cabs close by, and I wonder just how far I’ll have to walk to find one. I can go back to Isobel. She’ll be able to help me.
I’m suddenly lifted off my feet and spun over a suited shoulder. “Put me the fuck down,” I bite out, but Ash ignores me as he saunters through the lot. When we reach our car, I can’t help gasping as he slides me down his body before I’m shoved onto the leather seat.
He settles in beside me, with Ember already sitting opposite us. Both brothers watch me try to open the door, but they must’ve put the child lock on because I can’t do it.
“Let me out,” I grit through clenched teeth, pinning Ash with a glare, which only earns me a chuckle. The asshole is actually laughing at me. “Ash, let me the fuck out.”
“And where exactly would you go in the dead of night on your own when you’re nowhere near the city?” he questions me, amusement lacing his tone which only further infuriates me.
“That was uncalled for.” I change tactic. “My family has nothing to do with who I am and why I’m here. I could’ve been anyone.”
“You didn’t want people to know you’re just a beautiful girl who lost her parents, but you were happy to work the streets? Is that what you wanted? To be a whore for hire while you studied?” Ash’s words are pure poison. Disdain drips from every utterance, stilling me for a moment.
Even though I’m still angry, he has a point. And fuck if that doesn’t annoy me.
“I’m . . . I just didn’t want the whole goddamn university knowing I’m a charity case for you and your brother. I need to spend the next four years there. And why didn’t you tell me who your father really was?”
The corner of Ash’s mouth purses, his gaze darkens with fury, before he responds, “I don’t think you want to know.”
Ember
He wants to lie.
I know my brother; he’s exactly like our father. I wish she’d look at me, just at this moment. I pray she turns to me and asks, but even if she did, I don’t know if I would be able to tell her. I want so much for her to learn the truth. With a quick glance at Ash, I can tell he realizes he has a decision to make.
“What do you mean?” he asks, opting for the most straightforward response in this situation.
She looks at me, her gaze imploring me to respond, begging with merely a glance, and my heart lurches in my chest. It’s thudding wildly, needing to leap into her hands and ask for forgiveness. “We didn’t want you to run. At least, we just wanted to give you something that he couldn’t,” I tell her the truth, but still wonder if I sound as guilty as I feel. She doesn’t know how much our father tried to make things right. But there was nothing he could’ve done, nothing would’ve changed her life.
“What I don’t understand is why me? Even though he was in court every day, I don’t get what the hell his fascination was with me.” She looks like the little girl from two years ago. She reminds me of the child who sat crying on the sofa the night she learned her parents were dead. All I want to do is pull her into my arms and hold her.
“Katerina, listen—”
“No, I’m done listening to your lies. If you’re not willing to tell me the truth, then it’s best you take me back home now, and you can keep your goddamn agreement.” She’s adamant.
“Why don’t you come to the house with us?”
I know Ash is stalling her. Once we’re at the mansion, he’ll sit her down and explain that she’s not going anywhere. The problem is, I don’t know what he’s going to tell her about that night.
“Just relax, please, Kitten?” he coos in her ear, hope flaring like wildfire in his eyes as he watches her. I’ve never seen my brother so enamored with anyone. And it’s not the first time I’ve noticed it since she’s come into our lives. “You’re welcome to leave when you please. Just give us time to explain.”
“I want nothing but the truth.” She sits back in resignation, and the rage I noticed earlier in her expression has softened, but only slightly. Tonight, the truth will come out, and I’m not sure I can say goodbye to her.
We sit in silence as the car weaves through the city.
Ash’s gaze lingers on mine. I offer him a shake of my head, to leave her be. As the car weaves through the roads, I can’t help but stare at her. I feel like I’m taking in my last few glimpses of her, committing her to memory because soon, she’ll be gone.
Anger looks good on her.
The fire that runs in her veins turns her body rigid.
When we pull into the driveway, Ash is out of the car, offering his hand to Kat who again only stares him down. But the shrug and chuckle he responds with makes me smile.
He turns away, and I lean forward. “He is trying to help you to shield you from more pain.”
“I don’t need handouts. He lied to me, which only makes the sting worse. And you—”
“Would you do me the honor of joining me for a drink? I’ll explain my side of the story. And then I hope you’ll allow Ash to explain his,” I urge her, hoping she agrees. If I can give her a taste of why we want her, just a hint of truth, I pray she’ll allow us to gift her with the life she deserves.
She offers a nod. It’s slight, but it’s progress.
I exit the vehicle and wink at my brother who’s already heading for the door. I’m the peacemaker, and that worries me. If I’m no longer here one day, who will ensure he doesn’t fuck up something else? I love him, but Ash doesn’t realize he needs to soften his cold exterior and let her in.
“Your brother is insufferable,” Kat utters when she reaches for my hand, and I help her from the car. “I just want the truth, Ember.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I murmur gently in her ear, hoping to ease her anger and tamper it down somewhat. I lead her into the house, making sure she’s right behind me as we head in the opposite direction to where Ash ventured. I need her to listen to me, so she doesn’t go running off.
At first, I thought it would be best if she didn’t know what happened. But now she’s seen our father’s face on the screen, it’s time some home truths were addressed.
I wait for her to settle on the couch. The way her dress swishes around her thighs makes me smile. A sweet, innocent girl, yet she burns with a fire that seems to tear down both Ash and me.
“Our father wanted to help you.” I dive right into my explanation. There’s certainly no easy way to tell her; there’s nothing that will soothe the ache. “Two days after you were taken into a home, he . . .” My chest tightens when I recall the moment I realized our father was no longer breathing. “Sitting in his favorite office chair, he’d swallowed over twenty different pills that dissolved too quickly to be pumped from his stomach.”
“Oh, god, I’m so sorry.” Katerina rises, and after taking tentative steps toward me, she places her palms flat on my chest. The heat searing through the material of my shirt is evidence that this girl could have magical powers.
“It happens. Life becomes too much, and at times, we can’t face the path we’re on. My father was . . . difficult.”
“Why am I the object of the Addington obsession? It feels like there’s more to the story than just your father being a troubled man.” Tears trickle down her cheeks as she regards me. �
�I just want the lies and secrets to stop.”
This is the moment for a confession. I can so easily pull her into my arms and give her the truth she seeks, the one she’s clearly craving. But the moment those stormy eyes look up at me, shimmering with unshed tears, I lose all my confidence.
“Sometimes secrets are the only thing holding us together and keeping us from falling apart,” I tell her. I reach for her cheek and swipe my thumb along the smooth flesh, feeling the wetness of her emotion.
“But it can also be those secrets that tear your life apart. They could so easily be the same lies you think will keep you safe. But in the end, they’re the ones that will destroy you.” Her voice is husky, and I watch her slender neck and how it bops when she swallows.
Perhaps she’s hiding more than we are.
“I want to know,” she tells me.
Nodding, I step back, allowing her to move from the couch and walk toward the door. “Ash has the letters. He’s waiting in the office.” I offer her a smile, knowing what’s about to happen. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Perhaps just this small gesture of wanting to give her the truth will keep her here.
I hope it will.
“Thank you.” She leaves me to wonder just how much time we’ll have with her before she moves on. Once I’m alone in the living room, I wait to hear the click echo from the office door. The moment it sounds, I pour a drink and swallow it down.
At least my father did one thing right, he brought her to us. Perhaps he knew we’d need her one day, and that she’d need us.
Katerina
I find Ash sitting on the desk. After shutting the office door, I close the distance between us. He glances up from his drink, and I’m caught breathless. His expression is painted with pain, and his demeanor is rigid, while his gaze burns with guilt. My heart thuds against my chest, attacking my ribs with a vengeance so fierce, it steals my breath.
I’m not sure whether what he’s about to tell me will be good. No, scratch that; I know this will be something very, very bad.
He doesn’t move for a moment. His fingers gripping the glass so tight, they turn white. He brings the tumbler to his lips and swallows the liquid with a wince. Finally, he looks at me again and gestures for me to sit.
Once I do, he starts.
“The night I learned what my father had done, I had never felt more ashamed to be an Addington.” His voice is heavy with guilt. “Ember was in his studio, and I was out at the hotel,” he says, but doesn’t elaborate. Thankfully. “When Ember heard the front door, he thought it was me and made his way down the hall. But instead, he saw my father walk into the house,” Ash speaks, but I have a feeling this might be the first time he’s voicing whatever’s been eating away at him.
“Had something happened?” I find myself questioning.
“Ember had been curious; he thought something was very wrong when he went to our dad and tried to offer him help. He said the stench on my father’s clothes was so thick, it cloyed at his lungs.”
My heart is in my throat. My stomach is doing somersaults, causing me to feel nauseous. I can’t swallow. The drumming in my ears is like a foghorn, but even so, I hear every word loud and clear.
“My brother watched him disappear into the office, and he didn’t come out. Ember went out to the garage, thinking my father had been in an accident or something. He found the car had ash all over the floorboards.”
“What?” A ghost of cold air trickles over me, causing goose bumps to dot my skin, and my spine feels as if ice is surrounding it with each word he utters.
“Dad showered, dressed up in a suit, and headed out which only confused us further. We followed him, and he didn’t even know we were there. He’d been beside himself with guilt, or shame, or something that we just didn’t know because he wouldn’t talk to us. We made it all the way to your house.”
My heart begins to crack in that moment—with each fissure, I find it difficult to breathe. I hear it happen as if listening to glass shatter.
“Ember and I watched as you were told your parents were dead.” His voice is far away. There’s a whooshing sound as the air leaves my lungs in one fell swoop and I’m shaking. My whole body is wrought with fear.
“And . . . and your dad?” I choke out as tears trickle down my cheeks. The pain of living through that again holds me in an icy grip.
Ash looks at me. He watches me for such a long time. I wish I could read his mind to figure out what’s going on in there. His cerulean eyes are like glass—wet and shimmering.
I look right into his soul.
Every dark crevice, each light shard, I see it all. I see him.
I finally see Ashton Addington.
“You were there,” I murmur. The realization feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on me.
“I was,” he affirms. “And even then, when I watched you cry, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “When my father died, he’d left me a letter in his home office. He knew I’d find it because I was always the one sitting in there telling him how one day it would all be mine.”
“What did the letter say?”
He pulls a crumpled envelope from the pocket of his suit pants. The yellowish paper has creases and small tears as if it’s been opened and reopened thousands of times.
“And this was the only letter he left? Did Ember get one as well?”
Ash shakes his head, then pulls out a small white envelope with my name scrawled over the front. It’s handwriting I would recognize anywhere. The messy letters in black ink match that of the man who tried to help me.
“Katerina.” He takes both my hands. “We think our father was at the store the night your parents died.”
“What?” My throat closes, and the hurt from his words unravels my agonizing memories of that night. The images are so clear in my mind, I’m sure it’s happening right now. When the one officer placed the glass of water on the table; when I thought of how my mother would’ve admonished him.
The anger.
The fire that had burned inside me that day.
I recall it with clarity.
“Your father was there. He walked in and told me he would help,” I utter. “But he didn’t tell me why.” I never understood why a stranger had been willing to do so much for a girl he didn’t know.
“I think it’s time for you to read what happened the night your parents died,” Ash tells me gently. I see the truth in his eyes. He knew who I was, all this time. He knew I was that girl.
“Did you plan this? Plan to be my savior?”
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly. But I’m already on my feet, clutching both the envelopes before making my way to the staircase. “Please, Kat, just listen to me. I didn’t plan . . . I didn’t mean . . .”
“You lied to me. You kept this from me since I met you and you have had many chances to tell me who you are.”
He shakes his head, his hand shoved into the pocket of his pants. His eyes are almost glowing with frustration when he responds, “I only realized it was you a few months ago—”
“Months? You know what, Ash? You’re nothing like your goddamn father. At least he tried to help me without messing with me. He didn’t play games; he truly tried.” My words choke me up, and when I blink, the tears finally fall free, and I’m crying. My cold shivers intensify.
Ash comes closer, reaching for me, but I step back. I can’t be near him, not right now. I can’t be in the same room as him, never mind be held by him. Everything seems to be crashing down around me. My heart feels like it’s on the ground, lying at his feet, and all he’s going to do is burn whatever pieces of me are left.
“Don’t, Ash. Don’t come near me. I need . . . I want . . . I just need time,” I splutter, my body convulsing as I turn and head for the landing. I want to run out of the house but where would I go with no car, no means of getting into the city at night?
“Listen to me, Katerina!” His voice booms
around me, stilling me mid-step, and I turn to face him. “I can’t lose you. I needed to be honest because I want you in my life. I’ve never wanted anything more. Why can’t you understand? I have never loved someone before. I don’t know how to fucking do this, and I just can’t lose you.” His anger-filled, guilt-ridden speech shocks me. His body is visibly vibrating with emotion so fierce it grips me in a vise-like hold. The air is thick in this large room and it feels as though something is pressing down on me, holding me hostage.
“Love? You love me? You’re not meant to lie to people you love, Ash,” I spit out, but my heart hurts the moment I say it because I realize that no matter what he’s not told me, no matter how he’s kept secrets from me, I love him too.
I never expected it to happen. I was so focused on making my schooling happen, I didn’t realize I’d fallen so far down the rabbit hole. And now that I look at him, through all the hurt and anger, I know my broken heart is his. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” I question again.
“How the fuck would you have taken it if I had told you my father killed your parents?” he finally retorts with so much rage that I fall to the ground.
Katerina
My head is reeling with questions that replay silently as I clutch the letters Ash gave me. Closing my eyes, I attempt to focus, to ground myself, but there’s nothing that can keep the tears at bay. After a long while, I lift my glance at Ash. He’s standing there, his expression pained as his eyes shimmer with tears.
“I need time. Please, just let me be,” I plead with him.
He opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything. With a swift nod, he makes his way to the door and grips the handle. A glance over his shoulder meets my blurry stare. “I won’t be far…” Ash blinks, causing the tears that he’d kept at bay to fall. “If you want me.”
I hear the click, and I’m alone with my thoughts and the two letters in my hand. I have to read them. For my own sanity, I need to see the words I’m not sure will offer solace or leave me with more questions.
