Willow smiled, pushing her blond hair off of her forehead. “Don’t worry about it, Liam. It’s okay. I’m glad to see you’re happy now, and your mom was telling us on the flight over that you met someone?” She waggled her brows and giggled.
I shot a glare at my mom and then mumbled a reluctant, “Yes.”
“I’m glad,” Willow said genuinely. “You deserve it.”
“How have you guys been? Still not going back to college?” I asked her.
She smiled at Dean and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “We’re good, and no I’m definitely not going back to college. I still don’t know what the future holds for me, but for now, that’s okay.”
“Good.” I nodded. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
“We are,” Dean replied.
I tipped my head in his direction.
It was still fucking weird to see them together. Growing up, all of us kids had been close, but Willow and Dean had always had some special bond no one else could touch. It was only natural they’d end up together, but it was still awkward to see them as a couple and not just friends.
“I’m going to try to get back home in the next week or two. I want to see everybody.”
The table fell silent at my words.
“What?” I asked innocently. “Am I not allowed to come home?”
“You know you’re always welcome home,” my mom said. “We miss you. We all miss you.”
“Do you think you’ll come home for Christmas and New Year’s?” Dean asked. “The New Year’s Eve party isn’t the same without you.”
“I’m sure you guys have been fine without me,” I laughed and took a sip of my water. “But yeah, I might come. It depends on what Ari wants to do.”
“Ari?” My mom perked up at her name. “So does that mean you guys are together now?”
I ducked my head, chuckling under my breath. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Is she here in Hawaii then? I thought you said she was coming, but—”
“Yeah, she’s here.” I nodded, hoping to get off the topic as quickly as possible. “She would’ve loved to have come to get you guys, but she’s feeling sick.”
“Oh no, poor thing.” My mom frowned. “Maybe we should bring her some soup or something? Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, maybe,” I agreed, rifling through my mind for a change of subject. “So, Dad,” I began, “how’s the new album going?”
He leaned back in his chair and nodded. “Good, I guess.”
“Will you be going on tour?”
“We’re too old to go on tour,” he grumbled under his breath, “but we will be. We’re trying to work that so we’re not gone long. The guys don’t want to be away from their kids. Now that everyone is in school full-time it’s hard.” He shrugged. “Should have kept up the homeschooling, I guess.”
“You can’t beat the real school experience, though,” I countered.
“True,” he agreed.
“What are we doing after this?” my mom asked.
“I’d like to head back and check on Ari, and then I figured we could go to the beach.” I shrugged.
“That sounds good to me,” Grace chimed in.
“Yeah, sounds good to me too,” Willow added, smiling up at Dean before laying her head on his shoulder.
“I need to get out in the water with the guys,” I told them. I didn’t want to, though. All I wanted to do was sit with Ari and hold her—tell her everything would be okay.
“No.” My mom shook her head. “I know you, and you’ve probably been training non-stop. You need a break before tomorrow. Take a breather, Liam.”
I winced. “I can’t, Mom.”
She narrowed her eyes on me, giving me that scary look only moms could do. The one that told you she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
We finished our meal and I couldn’t get the bill paid fast enough. I needed to get back to Ari. I didn’t know why, but I had this ominous feeling that something bad had happened. Maybe that feeling was only because of what she told me, or maybe it was something more. Either way, I knew I wouldn’t get rid of this sense of foreboding until I saw her.
I left everyone in the lobby to check-in and get their room keys while I headed up to my room to see Ari. I’d hoped she was okay. I’d hated leaving her after everything that happened and what she confessed, but I knew she was well-taken-care of with Ollie and Talia.
I slid the keycard in the slot and opened the door.
Talia and Ollie jumped up from the couch as soon as I entered the room. They both wore worried looks, which instantly sent me over the edge.
“What is it?” I asked, looking between the two.
Ollie looked down at Talia, his lips twisting down. I didn’t think I’d ever seen the guy not smile.
“What’s going on?” I demanded, my voice rising in anger.
Ollie gave me a sad look and a half-shrug. “She’s gone.”
Ari
I’d had to get out of there.
When I’d finally emerged from the bathroom, I knew I had to make my escape before Liam got back. I’d changed back into my bikini since it was all I had in his room, and ran past Ollie and Talia who I knew were in the living room.
They’d both called after and Ollie had even chased me down, but I dodged him.
I left the hotel behind and ran.
I’d had no idea where I was going, but anywhere that wasn’t there was good with me.
I ran as far as my feet would carry me and ended up ducking into a small café. I took a seat and stayed for as long as I could.
When I left there, I strolled the beach. The sun was blazing hot, and I grew damp with sweat.
I couldn’t believe I told him.
Why did I tell him?
I knew why—keeping the truth from the guy I loved was too painful.
Even still, the burden I’d put on him by knowing the truth was too much. What if he looked at me differently? What if he thought I would never be okay again?
I couldn’t face him—to look into his eyes and have to see pity.
I didn’t want that.
I sunk down into the sand, wishing it would open up and swallow me whole.
Anything so I didn’t have to go back and face him.
I knew I had to, though.
Running away from Blaise was one thing, but running from Liam was something else.
It was late, after dinnertime, when I finally figured out my way back to the hotel.
I trudged through the hotel, my feet like cement blocks beneath my body.
I should have felt lighter by telling Liam, for ridding myself of the secret, but I’d felt worse. I’d already put him in enough danger by being around him, and by telling him the truth? That was a fucking death sentence for him if Blaise ever caught up to me.
I didn’t have my key to the room, so I was forced to knock and hope he was there to answer.
Almost immediately the door swung open.
Liam’s face relaxed with relief and he pulled me into one of the tightest hugs I’d ever experienced.
“Are you hurt?” he asked me, letting go enough so that he could look me over.
“I’m fine.” The words came out stiff. Cutting.
I was the cold one.
“Ari?” He sounded wounded.
“I want to go to bed.” I couldn’t meet his eyes and my tone was bland, monotone.
“Ari, talk to me please. You can’t shut me out after telling me something like that,” he shouted the words, but not in anger. He sounded desperate.
Tears pooled in my eyes. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
He glowered at me. “Fuck yes you should have! You should have told me a long fucking time ago! We’re going to the police right now!”
He grabbed my arm, but I skittered out of his hold. “Don’t you think I would’ve done that if it would have done any good?” I countered. “Blaise is above the police. He’ll throw some money around and make it look like I’m lying, and then I’l
l be the one to end up in trouble for defamation of character. You can’t touch him.”
“I have money; we can fight him—”
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and let out a humorless laugh. “Money won’t solve this.”
“So money can solve his problems, but not ours?” Liam shouted, gesticulating wildly.
“It’s not our problem. It’s mine. Stay out of this, Liam. I mean it,” I said with as much force as I could. “You don’t understand what he’s capable of.”
How could he? He hadn’t seen everything I had.
“He’ll do whatever it takes to shut you up, do you understand me?” I pointed a finger at him like he was an unruly child I was scolding.
“What did he do to you?” Liam whispered, his shoulders sagging as all the fight seemed to leave him.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “What didn’t he do?” My voice was as soft as his. “I don’t want to hurt you, Liam. I really don’t, because I love you, but I don’t know if I can do this.” My chin trembled as I inhaled a hiccup of air. “You and me, this isn’t good for either of us. I’m too fucked up, and I can’t drag all this darkness into your life, not when you’re finally happy.”
His face fell, and in a broken voice, he whispered, “I’m only happy because of you.”
“Please, don’t say that,” I begged, shaking my head back and forth.
“It’s the truth.”
I backed in the direction of my room. “When we get back to California I’m packing my bags, and I’m leav—”
“No,” he spat the word, glaring at me, “you can’t leave because of this. This doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything.” I couldn’t continue putting his life in danger. I loved him too much to stay. How could he not see that?
“Ari, please,” he said brokenly, starting toward me.
I held my hands up. “No,” I snapped harshly. “No, Liam. Focus on your competition tomorrow. That’s more important.”
“Fuck the competition.” He slashed his hands through the air. “You’re more important.”
“I’m not,” I cried brokenly. “Trust me, I’m not. I should’ve done this a long time ago before things got complicated.”
“Complicated?” he spat, latching onto the words. “What’s complicated about us loving each other?”
I tore at my hair. I was never going to be able to make him understand. “This isn’t easy for me! Can’t you see that?” My hands fisted at my sides in frustration. “But it’s what has to be done.”
“No. No, it’s not.” He shook his head and started for me.
I tried to run, but I wasn’t quick enough. He caught me around the waist and before I could make a sound he was kissing me. His lips moved against mine in a desperate dance. One I wouldn’t return. I hung like a limp noodle in his arms and when he pulled away, he whispered my name. “Ari?”
“This is over, Liam. I’m sorry.”
He let me go, a look of complete and utter despair on his face. He looked broken, and it pained me that I was the one to do that to him.
“I’m sorry,” I said one last time, and closed the door to my room.
He would never understand how true those words were. I’d never meant to hurt him. I’d never meant to get this close. And I’d certainly never meant to fall in love with him.
But I had.
And now I’d ruined everything.
***
Liam wouldn’t speak to me. I didn’t blame him. How could I?
The next morning was filled with so many awkward silences that I lost count.
I bowed out of breakfast by pretending I was sick. It seemed to work.
I wanted to join everyone at the competition, I wanted to be there cheering Liam on. But it wasn’t my place. Not after everything I said. And that broke my heart even more.
Locked in my room, I could hear the others excited chatter in the living room.
“Is Ari coming?” I heard Remy, Liam’s mom, ask.
“No,” Liam replied. His tone was biting, like he was on edge.
“Oh,” she replied. “Is she still sick.”
“Yeah,” he replied, “she’s really sick.”
Clutching my pillow, I began to cry some more, and I really did feel sick—if your heart can be sick, that is.
Eventually, they all left and the room was silent.
I’d never felt more alone than I did right then.
I eventually turned the TV on and found the channel broadcasting the competition. Not much of what they said made sense to me, but I hoped I’d get a glimpse of Liam.
At that moment the camera was panned in on the commentators where they sat beneath a tent, and I couldn’t see anything else.
I stayed riveted to the screen, though, waiting.
When the camera finally panned to the beach, I saw Liam in his wetsuit paddling out. My heart lurched and tears filled my eyes.
Yesterday morning had been one of, if not the best, moments of my life and then I’d had to go and ruin it.
He’d never forgive me.
I knew that.
To him, I was no better than Kennedy.
But with Blaise out there, it’s what I’d had to do to keep him safe.
His life was more important than our happiness. He’d probably never know that, but I would, and it made all the difference.
I sat back in the bed, fluffing the pillows and getting comfortable.
The commentators went over the stats of each surfer, and even though I had no idea what the numbers meant, pride filled my chest when Liam’s face appeared on the screen.
When they’d finished giving the stats on the surfers, the camera panned back out on the ocean and the five guys bobbing in the water.
I clutched a pillow to my chest, and a tear leaked from the corner of my eye when the camera zoomed in on the profile of Liam’s face.
He looked so angry and hurt, but there was a determination set in his jaw and I hoped that meant he was focused on the waves ahead of him. I’d never forgive myself if he was so lost in his thoughts about us that it threw him from the competition. I knew how important surfing was to him.
The first heat ended thirty minutes later, knocking out two of the guys and leaving Liam, Wyatt Perry, and Sam Hanson.
The next heat would determine the final two, and I crossed my fingers that Liam was in it. I wanted, more than anything, to see him succeed.
I sat, riveted to the screen, cheering on every time Liam caught a wave. In my opinion, he had more style than the other two guys. It looked like they were just riding the waves, but Liam was living it.
When the second heat ended, I waited with bated breath for the results.
Wyatt Perry’s name was called out first and then the next few seconds felt like the longest of my life.
But then, it was Liam’s name they called out, and I lost it. I screamed so loud that someone in a neighboring room probably thought I was being murdered. I pumped my fists in the air and shouted, “Go, Liam!” even though he wasn’t there to hear me.
I hoped, somehow, that he knew I was cheering for him.
The next heat was the longest thirty minutes of my life, and when Liam wiped out on his last wave I cried out in frustration. Wyatt had wiped out once too, though, so it still put them on even ground. Besides, to me, it looked like Liam had done more complicated tricks. But I didn’t know much, or anything at all, about surfing, so Liam’s fate was in the judges’ hands.
I sat at the edge of the bed, holding my breath while I waited for the results.
I didn’t think I’d ever been more nervous.
“Liam,” I begged. “Please say Liam’s name.”
The camera panned to the two men, both standing in their wetsuits, surfboards clasped under their arms, and wet hair hanging in their eyes.
“Liam,” I pleaded again. “Say Liam’s name.”
I closed my eyes then, unable to look at his nervous face one more second.
Just as I closed my eyes, I heard, “First place… Wyatt Perry!”
“Fuck,” I cried, my eyes flying open.
On the screen Liam nodded forlornly and then did that weird guy handshake with Wyatt. At least he was being a good sport and not throwing a tantrum—not like I’d expected that or anything.
The camera lingered on the guys for a few more seconds and then panned back to the commentators.
“Well, there you have it, folks. Wyatt Perry is still the reigning champion. We’ll be speaking to both surfers after this break.”
The screen cut to a commercial, and I immediately turned the TV off. I’d seen what I wanted, and now I couldn’t bear to watch any more.
I busied myself by taking a shower and packing my bags for our morning flight back home.
Hours passed, and it was after midnight when the door to the hotel room finally opened.
From what I could hear, it was only one person and not the whole group of them.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and cracked the door open.
I found Liam standing in the small kitchen, pulling a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
“You did good,” I whispered.
He turned around and lifted the bottle of water to his lips. He took a sip and wiped his mouth on the back of his arm. All the while his icy-blue eyes glared at me like I was worse than the scum on the bottom of his shoe.
Screwing the cap back on the bottle of water he headed to his room, slamming the door closed behind him.
His message was final.
Clear.
He was done with me, and he’d closed me out of his life.
Liam and me? We were no more.
Liam
After what had to be the awkward-est fucking plane and car ride ever, we finally arrived back at my house.
I hadn’t spoken one word to Ari the whole way home.
The only thing she’d said to me was, “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t believe her.
Her actions were stupid, and it pissed me off. After what she told me, she was shutting me out? All I wanted to do was help her. Protect her. Love her. Save her. And she wouldn’t let me do anything.
I mean, the girl was fucking kidnapped and this guy must’ve been a complete psycho, so you’d think she’d want my help. But instead, she wanted to end things.
The Lies That Define Us Page 21
