Wife, Mother...Lover?

by Sally Tyler Hayes

  “Not.”

  The mere thought filled Leanne with dread. Emotional confrontations weren’t her strong point. Who was she kidding? Emotions in general had never been her forte. As she’d found over the years, it was so much easier to run than to stay and fight.

  “So,” Ginny said, “how do you know what Alex and Amy are thinking if you haven’t asked them? Or told them how you feel?”

  It was a sobering thought. Someone had to make the first move. This whole stalemate took hold because her family tended to follow the path of least resistance. Making peace meant shaking things up, talking things out, maybe everyone give a little when it came to long-held grudges.

  Could Leanne do that?

  If she wanted her family back, she had to. Waiting for someone else to make the first move certainly hadn’t worked.

  “There’s one more thing I didn’t mention earlier, Leanne. Kelly didn’t just want this for herself and for you. She wanted it for the boys, too. She wanted them to grow up surrounded by their family, their happy family.”

  “Oh, God, I hadn’t even thought of putting them into the middle of all our old fights. I don’t want to do that to them. They’ve lost their mother already. They’re going to need the rest of us close by to help them. Maybe if I approached Amy and Alex about doing this for the boys’ sakes...”

  Leanne thought about it, a knot of tension growing ever tighter in her stomach. She wanted her family reunited so badly. It seemed she had wanted it forever, and she was ashamed of herself for waiting until it was too late for her and Kelly. But it wasn’t too late for her and the rest of her family. It wasn’t too late to do this for the boys.

  “I want to,” Leanne began.

  “Then take some time and think about it.” Ginny settled her hand over Leanne’s and gave it a little squeeze. “Think about staying.”

  Leanne was tempted. She honestly hadn’t thought much beyond the day and how she was going to get through it. But as she turned and looked at the boys, who had their dump trucks roaring through the sandbox, she knew she didn’t want to leave them. As exhausting and bewildering as her day with the boys had been, she wouldn’t have traded it for anything in this world.

  Now she was asking herself how she was going to tear herself away from this place one more time. She was asking herself why she couldn’t simply stay.

  “There’s no place I have to be, not for weeks,” Leanne said, realizing it for the first time herself. She’d finished her last job well ahead of schedule, thanks to some incredibly good luck and perfect weather. And she’d left her calendar blank for a few weeks after the scheduled completion date for her last job because she’d intended to take a vacation.

  Leanne thought of all the reasons to go. Mitch didn’t like her. He made her uncomfortable. Rena didn’t like her and seemed to live in fear that Leanne would somehow steal her family away. Except it had been Leanne’s family first, and Leanne wanted her family back. And she wasn’t eighteen years old now or absolutely bewildered by her stepmother’s selfishness and her greed. Leanne could fight for herself and for what she wanted this time.

  Maybe she could even win.

  Chapter 6

  Walking into his house that night, Mitch found it was fairly quiet and neat. He was certainly grateful for that. Following the sound of voices, he headed into the kitchen, where Leanne was standing at the stove, stirring something that smelled wonderful.

  His sons were sitting on a thick towel laid across the floor. They had six plastic bowls between them and were working earnestly to transfer something—water, he hoped—from one bowl to the next. Totally absorbed in their task, they didn’t even notice him at first.

  Smiling, Leanne turned to say something to the boys, but her smile dimmed when she saw him.

  Did she dislike him that much?

  Honestly, he had never cared how she felt about him. But things were different now. He was coming to know her, to see that the front she presented was simply that—nothing more than a self-defense facade.

  He wanted to know what was behind the smile she pasted on her face, behind the stiff set of her shoulders. Last night, he supposed. They’d danced around it this morning and while they’d talked on the phone, but they couldn’t avoid it forever.

  “Something smells good,” he said, hoping his own smile didn’t appear as forced as it felt.

  Leanne looked as if a compliment were the last thing she expected from him. Then the boys figured out he was home and came running at him. Two bowls of water were spilled in their haste to get to him, but the towels soaked it up. Leanne cleared the kitchen floor while he pulled his sons into his arms and stood. Two pairs of short, skinny arms came around his neck, and he twirled the twins in a circle until they cackled.

  “Papa, Papa, Papa,” they chimed. And then they ranted on in their jibber-jabber description of their day, both of them talking at once, the words a total jumble accompanied by broad, sweeping hand gestures.

  “The park,” Leanne translated. “With Hannah and Will. The swings. The sandbox. A cat. Ice cream.”

  “Did you have fun?” Mitch asked, turning to the boys. They were positively beaming. An immense sense of relief came over him, because he’d worried about them today and because it was so nice to come home and find them happy.

  The smile he gave Leanne then was a genuine one. Curiously, she didn’t relax one bit. If anything, she looked even more tense than before.

  Mitch sighed, realizing this was going to be more difficult than he’d thought.

  Leanne, feeling the need to get out of the house alone and to clear her head, donned a T-shirt and a pair of workout shorts, then set off for a run. When she came back forty-five minutes later, she was surprised to find two place settings at the table. Obviously, Mitch hadn’t eaten yet.

  “You didn’t have to wait for me,” she said.

  “I got busy with the boys,” he explained. “And it was already so late I thought we might as well eat without them at the table—if you could call what goes on with the two of them at the table ‘eating.’”

  “They’re not the best dinner companions,” Leanne agreed, thinking it had been much easier to be in the same room with him when she had the boys as a buffer. Looking down at her clothes, she found a reason to escape, to buy herself some time before she had to tell Mitch what she’d decided. “I should shower and change.”

  “We don’t worry about the little niceties like dressing for dinner in this house. The way I see it, we’re doing well to be sitting down at the table to something that didn’t come from a cardboard container and wasn’t warmed up in the microwave.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Have a seat,” he said. “You cooked. The least I can do is bring it to the table.”

  Leanne sat and started doctoring her tea. Mitch pulled the salad she’d prepared from the refrigerator along with two kinds of salad dressing. She’d left a loaf of bread warming in the oven, and he brought that to the table, too. The spaghetti sauce she’d prepared was warming in a pot on the table, and it smelled good, even if she did say so herself.

  “I haven’t boiled the noodles yet,” she said, remembering.

  “I know,” he acknowledged as he brought those to the table, as well. “I did.”

  “Oh.”

  Exasperated, Mitch asked, “Was it so awful to have dinner with me last night?”

  “No.” She was flustered enough that she almost spilled her tea.

  “You’re sure?”

  Her cheeks flushed, Leanne nodded and barely glanced his way.

  “Leanne, I’m sometimes blunt to the point of being rude. I guess it comes from being a cop, because when I want to know something on the job, I ask.”

  “Should I take that as fair warning you’re going to be blunt?”

  He nodded. “Do you dislike me that much?”

  Leanne had to think about it. What was the right answer here? She could find none.

  Into the silence came the sound of Mitch sw
earing, and she rushed to fill the void that followed. “I don’t think it’s nearly as simple as liking or disliking you.”

  And it was as complicated as knowing he disliked her and knowing how much her sister loved him. That didn’t even take into consideration the fact that she’d known him in high school and that she would have given her right arm for a chance to go out with him. It didn’t help matters at all that he was even more attractive now than he had been seventeen years ago, and that she hadn’t so much as had a date in the past two years.

  Or that, unless she was sadly mistaken, he’d nearly kissed her last night.

  “It’s...complicated,” she said, trying to explain again, totally unwilling to share any of the thoughts running through her head.

  Mitch nodded as if he could happily chew nails at the moment.

  “Can we just have dinner first?” she asked.

  “Of course,” he said.

  Leanne put some noodles onto her plate, then reached for the bread, wondering if she was going to choke on it. Or if he would.

  They both managed to eat without incident. Mitch insisted on cleaning up, and Leanne prowled around the living room as she thought about pleading her case before him. He had to let her stay.

  Glancing at the mantel that held another photo of her sister, she offered up a silent prayer.

  Help me, Kelly. Tell me what to say to him to make him understand.

  And then Leanne headed into the kitchen, where Mitch had just finished loading the dishwasher.

  “Would you like a beer?” he asked.

  “No, thank you.”

  Mitch popped the top on a light beer, then leaned back against the cabinet. With one leg crossed in front of the other, he watched her. He couldn’t possibly be that relaxed, she told herself, unless there really was no justice in the world.

  “So, tell me about how much you dislike me,” he said, throwing the first jab.

  “Do you want to tell me why you dislike me so much?” she shot back.

  “I’m not sure how productive that would be,” he admitted, and just maybe, he admired the way she’d stood up to him then.

  Leanne wondered if cops were just used to getting their way and tried to remember if Kelly had ever mentioned that being one of Mitch’s more annoying habits. The man could be truly maddening.

  “Instead, why don’t you tell me why you’re so nervous?” Mitch suggested as he took a drink of his beer.

  “Because of what I want to say to you,” she answered quickly. “Well, to be perfectly honest, what I don’t want to say.”

  “Which is?”

  “Did you find someone else to watch the boys?”

  “No.”

  “Good. I looked at my calendar today, and I talked with my agent. Mitch, I don’t have to be anywhere for the next month, and I’d like to spend it here with the boys, if you’ll let me.”

  Mitch couldn’t have been more surprised. He’d expected her to say she was jetting off to one of the far corners of the world within the hour. “You want to stay for a month? And take care of the boys?”

  “Yes,” she said immediately. “Today was wonderful. It was hectic and a little frightening because they can move so fast and go in two different directions at once. But I had fun. I hadn’t realized how much I would enjoy being around little children again. And these are my nephews. I want to get to know them.”

  Mitch considered her offer for a minute. It would be a godsend—if Leanne was serious.

  “This way you wouldn’t have to rush to find someone new to take care of the boys,” she said.

  “I know.” But he believed there was more to her offer than that. “What’s the catch?”

  “Just that you take this time to think long and hard about giving them to Rena. You have to promise me that.”

  “Leanne, it’s not something I’d do lightly,” he said, maybe just a little too defensively. “I don’t know what Amy told you, but I love them more than anything in this world.”

  “I know. I didn’t meant to imply that you didn’t. Or that you wouldn’t think this through. I just don’t want you to be under any sort of pressure to make a decision quickly. Please let me do this, for the boys and for Kelly.”

  Mitch watched her as though he might watch a suspect while trying to assess the person’s guilt or innocence. Was she acting out of guilt? He didn’t want her to stay because she was seeking some sort of absolution. On the other hand, he and the boys desperately needed her right now. And a whole month? God, what he could do in a month’s time.

  “Look, if you say you’re going to be here for a month...” You damned well better be here, Mitch wanted to add.

  “I will. I swear it.”

  Still, Mitch was wary. “You’d stay here? In the house?”

  “If that’s what you think would be best...” she offered.

  Mitch thought of the intimacy that came from sharing living quarters with someone, thought maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, given what had happened the night before. Still, he decided he had little choice.

  “What with the hours the boys and I keep, you might as well stay here,” he said. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Yes.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Rena. You can’t give the boys to her, Mitch. And if you’ll just think about it, you’ll understand what she’s offering isn’t for their benefit. It’s for hers. If she truly wanted to help you with the boys, she could do that without taking them away from you. She lives ten minutes from here. If she wanted to help, she could watch the boys whenever you needed her to. If she wanted to spend even more time with them, she could be their full-time baby-sitter. But you’d still be their father.

  “She hasn’t offered because that’s not what she wants. She wants things on her terms or not at all. Please,” she urged. “Think about it.”

  “I have thought about it,” he admitted. “I don’t know how everything got so crazy these past few months, but it’s been as bad or worse as the first few months after Kelly died. It’s like sinking into a hole and not being able to get a foothold anywhere so I can climb out. But I think I am coming out of it now.”

  Especially now that he had some time because she was here.

  He owed her a debt he would never be able to repay. The least he could do was put her mind at ease on this issue.

  “I’m not going to let Rena have the boys,” he said, feeling so much better himself, now that he’d said the words.

  “Really?”

  “I don’t know how I ever thought I could. They’re...” He searched for the right phrasing. “They’re everything good in my life.”

  She smiled at him then, and the expression absolutely transformed her face. What he’d always taken for plain and somewhat subdued became something else entirely. She was pretty, he realized, in that girl-next-door sort of way. She’d gotten some sun on her face today while playing with his sons. That, coupled with the smile, and she was absolutely glowing.

  Leanne put her hand on his—a gesture that he would swear was purely impulsive. He didn’t think she’d ever touched him before of her own volition.

  “You’ll let me stay? For a month?”

  “I’d be grateful if you could. It would be such a relief to know that the boys are safe. And happy,” he added. They’d seemed so happy with her earlier, so eager to tell him about their big day.

  Leanne took a deep breath. “Good. I’m glad that’s settled.”

  When she would have pulled her hand away from his, he stopped her by capturing it between the two of his. Much as he dreaded what he had to say, he didn’t think they could ignore it altogether.

  “We have to talk about last night.” They were both adults, Mitch rationalized. They could talk about this.

  “No,” she said.

  He saw she was immediately flustered. And embarrassed, if the color flooding her face was a reliable indication. He let go of her hand, then turned and put his back to her as he walked acro
ss the kitchen. Maybe this would be easier for both of them if he didn’t have to look at her. His own embarrassment threatened to silence him. How could he explain?

  “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression,” he began. “I don’t want you to think Kelly meant so little to me that...” That he was out lusting after other women so soon after her death. “I haven’t so much as kissed another woman since she died, Leanne. I swear to you, I haven’t. I haven’t wanted to. And last night...I don’t think if I talked all night long I could explain what happened then.”

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Mitch.”

  “I made you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry for that, especially because I invited you into my home and you’re going to be taking care of the boys. I didn’t want you to worry that anything like that would happen again.”

  “Oh, no. I wasn’t thinking that at all.”

  She answered so quickly he was instantly relieved. “Good. I’m glad you’re going to be staying.”

  With that, she murmured an excuse about being tired and fled up the stairs.

  Glad to have that little jewel of a conversation over, Mitch sat downstairs in the dark for a long time, thinking about the day he’d had. Work had been fine. His head was where it needed to be because he trusted Leanne to take good care of the boys.

  Coming home, seeing the boys so happy and excited, listening to them chatter on about their day, finding dinner cooking on the stove, having time to spend with them—it had been...nice, he realized.

  He could get used to all this, he decided. Everything except the fact that it felt nice to have his hands on a woman again.

  Leanne awoke the next morning to the sound of groans and shrieks of laughter, coming, she suspected, from Mitch’s room. Squinting at the clock, she saw that it was a quarter after six. The boys must be up.

  Leaning back against the pillows for a second, she took stock of all that had happened the day before. She was enchanted with the boys, had found her sister’s dearest wish was for Leanne to come to terms with her family, and decided there was no place she could be right now other than Chicago.