Wife, Mother...Lover?

by Sally Tyler Hayes

  It was also incredibly sweet to see that they would miss her so much. She didn’t remember anyone who cried over her at the airport before, and she’d been in a lot of airports, gotten on thousands of planes to take trips much longer than this.

  She’d never left anyone behind who’d miss her as much as Teddy and Timmy would.

  And Mitch? Would he miss her, too?

  He’d slept on the downstairs sofa rather than coming to bed with her last night, something he hadn’t explained and she hadn’t let herself ask him. But she’d ached to have him hold, her in his arms. Had he missed her last night? Would he miss her tonight, when he was alone in the bed they normally shared?

  She supposed she would find out. In the past few days, she’d come to see this as a test of sorts. Could she do it? Could she walk away from him now? And if she could do it now, could she do it in two months? Or six months? Or that wretched year’s time they’d agreed to before she’d come to love him more than life itself?

  She had some decisions to make once she got to New York. Did she turn her back on her entire life there? Or did she simply try to put everything on hold for the remainder of the year?

  Surely it would be easier to get over him once she immersed herself in her real life back in New York. Surely she wouldn’t miss him as much as she did right now.

  As it was, she had to keep reminding herself that she was going right back to Chicago, to him and the boys. They’d be there waiting for her the minute she stepped off the plane.

  No one had ever done that for her before, either.

  “I could drive you to the airport,” Marc said.

  “What?” Mitch was barely listening to his friend. He was too consumed by counting the hours he had left to endure until Sunday evening. Checking his watch, he swore. She’d been gone for only three hours.

  “The airport,” Marc said, making a little airplane with his hand that zoomed along in front of Mitch’s face. “You know, where the planes take off? I think there’s a flight that leaves practically every hour for New York.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about the fact that you look like hell, and I don’t think you’re going to be able to make it through the next two days without your wife. I don’t understand why you let her go in the first place.”

  Mitch covered his face with both hands. He rubbed at his eyes because he couldn’t quite see straight. And he was as jumpy as a cat. “She’s coming back,” he said. “And when she comes back, we’ll talk about some things.”

  “You could talk in New York,” Marc said. “That way you wouldn’t have to wait until Sunday to hear what she has to say.”

  Mitch thought about Sunday, still a grueling forty-eight hours away. He thought about the way he hadn’t let himself come to bed with her the night before because he’d known that if he’d taken her into his arms, he wouldn’t have been able to let her go this morning.

  So he’d stayed downstairs, lying down on the sofa but not sleeping. He’d stayed there in the dark and thought about his house and how empty it was going to be without her, thought about those big holes inside his heart that she’d filled, the joy and the laughter she’d brought back into his life.

  And he’d thought about losing her.

  In the morning she hadn’t said anything about his staying away from their bed. But he could tell she was hurt, though she hadn’t asked him to explain.

  She expected people to hurt her, especially the people she loved.

  Oh, God, Mitch thought, seeing it all so clearly now. That was the problem. She had expected him to hurt her, too. That was the biggest reason she hadn’t said anything, hadn’t asked anything of him. She thought she already knew what his answer was going to be.

  “I am so stupid,” Mitch said.

  “Hey, it happens to the best of us.” Marc stood up. “Come on, pack your bag. I’ll drive you.”

  “What about the boys?”

  “Ginny’s been upstairs for the past ten minutes packing a bag for them so we can take them home with us. But you owe us one for this. I’m going to need a long, long weekend alone with my wife once you get your life straightened out.”

  It was almost ten o’clock Friday night before Leanne got back to her apartment. Marty walked her to the door, still pleading his case, though he’d had all evening over drinks and dinner to do the same thing.

  “I’m not going to stop asking,” he said.

  “Fine.” Leanne shook her head, amused. His persistence was one of the things she valued most about him. “I’ll just stop listening.”

  “I know you’ll change your mind,” he insisted. “You won’t last six months there.”

  “Watch me.” She fit her key into the door, dreading going into her dark, lonely apartment. She couldn’t help but think of all the other times she’d arrived on her doorstep, bone tired, emotionally drained from the intensity of the work, aching for anything at all that was familiar to her.

  The apartment was familiar, but it simply wasn’t a home. It never would be.

  Home was Mitch and the boys.

  The door swung open. Marty stood in the doorstep, holding her back. “Leanne, we’ve been together for ten years,” he said. “I know you. I know this is where you belong.”

  She gave up on convincing him that she knew exactly what she wanted and where she wanted to be. “Marty, I’m tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

  Let him call, she told herself. She’d take the phone off the hook and refuse to answer the door.

  “Okay. Tomorrow.” He put his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. “It’s great to have you back.”

  Leanne closed the door and locked it, then stood with her forehead pressed against the door, her heart aching. She had never missed Chicago more.

  Jerking her head to the right, she suddenly sensed some movement behind her, and all her senses went on alert. Not giving herself time to think, because if she did she would have been too afraid to move, she whirled around, just as an angry voice behind her demanded, “Who the hell was that?”

  It was a man’s voice, and she saw the distinct outline of a tall, imposing-looking male, standing in the dark, not two feet from her. Leanne opened her mouth to scream, but he grabbed her first.

  She cocked her elbow forward and shoved it into his stomach, then brought her other hand up, heel first, hoping to connect solidly with his nose.

  The man groaned in pain but recovered quickly, managing to avoid the hand headed for his nose, and then he grabbed her once more. Leanne spun around in his arms, thinking she could elbow him again, but he held her too tightly now.

  And then there was something about the feel of his body that cut through her panic and told her she’d been here before. Something about him was achingly familiar.

  The roaring in her ears receded, and she could finally hear what he’d been trying to tell her all along.

  “It’s me,” he said, his mouth somewhere near her temple. “Leanne, relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  She slid around in his arms to face him, then didn’t quite believe what her eyes were seeing. She put a hand to the side of his face, afraid that when she touched him he’d simply vanish into thin air.

  But he didn’t. He pressed his lips to her palm and kissed her sweetly.

  “Mitch.” She sighed, having trouble breathing at the moment. “I thought for a minute I was hallucinating.”

  “I’m very real,” he said, letting his arms drop to his side. “And I’m so sorry I frightened you like that. I flashed my badge and the building superintendent let me in.”

  Leanne couldn’t quite make sense of this herself, and she desperately needed to. “Mitch, what are you doing here? What...is anything wrong? The boys?”

  “They’re fine, except they’re missing you like crazy.”

  She wanted to ask whether he had been missing her, as well. She was stunned to find him here. And then she remembered how hard she’d hit him.


  “Are you all right?” She went to him and pressed a hand against his right side, over the ribs she’d jammed her elbow into moments before. “Did I hurt you?”

  “I think I’ll live. Although I’m damned lucky my nose isn’t broken. That was some swing you took.” He smiled. “I guess I may have overreacted a little to your running alone after dark.”

  She nodded. “I told you I could take care of myself.”

  “I know,” he said, almost regretfully. “But I’m wondering—when are you going to understand you don’t have to do it all by yourself anymore?”

  It sounded curiously like an invitation to let him take care of her. “Mitch, why are you here?”

  “I realized there are a lot of things I should have said to you before you left, and then I got this crazy idea in my head that you might not come back to me.”

  “Sunday,” she said, really scared now. She wasn’t any good at this sort of thing. “I’m coming back on Sunday.”

  “But that’s two days away.” His tone was filled with impatience.

  Two days? Could he possibly be trying to tell her that he simply couldn’t live without her for two whole days?

  “I think I need to sit down,” she said. Her legs didn’t feel that steady beneath her.

  Mitch took her in his arms again. “Hold on to me, instead,” he invited.

  She did, closing her eyes and absorbing the feel of him, his warmth and his strength. This was the best place she’d ever been, she decided, this space he made for her in his arms.

  Tears came to her eyes, tears she hadn’t a prayer of stopping. And he still hadn’t explained why he was here.

  “You know after Kelly died, I told myself I would never love another woman.”

  “I know,” she whispered, hiding her face against him.

  “It seemed like too much of a risk to take, like too much to expect to be that happy for a second time in my life,” Mitch said. “Maybe that’s why it took me so long to understand and to tell you how I felt. I was so grateful to you for helping me keep the boys and for making them smile again.”

  She didn’t want his gratitude. When she went to force herself away from him, Mitch only held her tighter.

  “It was nice not to be so lonely anymore once you came,” he said, speaking slowly, waiting for her to absorb the words.

  “It wasn’t long,” he continued, “before I couldn’t keep my hands off you, before I wanted you desperately.”

  Just as she wanted him.

  “The night Jane told me that Rena’s lawyer had withdrawn from the custody case, all I could think about was you deciding that you didn’t need to stay with me anymore.” He eased away from her and cupped her face in his hands. “Which is exactly what you did when your father came to see you and told you Rena was giving up. I saw you, Leanne. One minute, you were crying in my arms, and the next, it was like you’d put a wall between us. Like you were pulling yourself right out of my life. Do you have any idea how it felt to watch you force yourself away from me like that?”

  “Like I was dying inside,” she blurted out. “That’s how it felt to do it—like I was dying inside.”

  “Me, too.” Mitch searched her eyes, his gaze steady and direct. “I don’t want to live without you. I suppose I could, because I have the boys and I love them. They’re what got me through the first time. But, Leanne, I can’t lose another woman I love.”

  “What?” Tears were streaming down her face by then, and she had to be mistaken about what he’d just said.

  “I love you,” Mitch repeated, his voice rough and raw. “Please don’t leave me.”

  Leanne sucked in a desperately needed breath, and thought of the time she’d photographed the divers in Acapulco, thought about the way they just launched themselves off the cliffs, hurtling past the face of the rock to the shallow water below.

  As much as she loved Mitch, it felt as though he was asking her to do something every bit as dangerous.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted.

  “I know, baby. You’re going to have to trust me a little on this. I’ll never let you down.”

  “Oh, Mitch.”

  “You can still be a photographer if you want. You can travel if you need to. I don’t care as long as you come home to us.”

  “I’ve seen the whole world, Mitch. There’s nothing left I need to see.”

  “And your work?”

  “Chicago’s full of people and interesting sights. I’m sure if I feel the need to pick up a camera, I can find something there to photograph.” She brushed away a tear. “I was so scared when I left this afternoon.”

  “I never would have let you leave, except I was afraid if I pushed too hard, you’d get scared and try to convince yourself you didn’t need me or want me or love me.”

  “No.” She hung her head, looking off to the left because it hurt to look at him. She hadn’t done that, but something just as wrong. “I just about convinced myself that you wouldn’t want me anymore. Or that you couldn’t. Or that you might want me for a while, but that you’d get over it.”

  “Wrong,” he said. “On all counts.”

  “Oh, Mitch.”

  “I love you,” he said again. “The boys love you, too. I don’t think they’d take me back if I came without you.”

  “I love them so much. I just couldn’t resist them.”

  “They’re easy to love, Leanne. So am I. Come home with me and I’ll show you.”

  “I know how easy you are to love,” she admitted.

  “Say it,” he begged. “Please.”

  “I love you. Mitch.”

  She saw the bone-deep satisfaction light his eyes, saw him smile as he brought his lips to hers.

  “Let’s go home,” he said again.

  Home, she thought. What a beautiful word, a beautiful feeling. Home to her was with Mitch and the boys.

  ISBN : 978-1-4592-7256-9

  WIFE, MOTHER...LOVER?

  Copyright © 1997 by Teresa Hill

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