“Ruth?” Mark moved closer, his lips brushing the nape of her neck. Ruth gritted her teeth. She was like a coiled wire, her body so tense that pain shot up her back right to her neck. She clutched the bed sheet tight.
“Are you asleep?”
She didn’t answer. She made herself breathe deeply expelling the air like someone in sound sleep. After a few minutes, Mark moved away. Silence followed, interrupted by her feigned deep breathing and then that of Mark. She could not settle down. She tossed and turned, her mind in a whirl.
Chapter 18
Kuala Lumpur
THE CAR PARK was packed when Hugh’s car swept into the gravel driveway. He got out. This would be his first meeting with the planters as their representative. The Club’s conference room would be full. He straightened his tie and pulled his jacket into place. He took the steps two at a time, his feet light and confident. The massive teak door swung open as if by magic. A young Sikh, his gun slung on his back and pointing upwards, saluted and clicked his feet to attention. Hugh smiled. We have not given up our sense of formality and importance, he thought, perhaps not yet.
The interior of the Lake Club was luxurious. It had been built for British planters and colonial officers in 1890, long before him. He expected it to be the last of the British ‘white only’ strongholds. It would not be long before the Club would be forced to open membership to Asians. And it would not be soon enough, as far as he was concerned. Over the last month, his briefing had showed that there would have to be a complete change in attitude if planters wished to maintain their investments in Malaya. It was a message that he would have to drive home to them. Already, within months of independence, large numbers of expatriates had left the country. Foreign firms were required to introduce training schemes for Malayan managers and provide scholarships at Malayan universities and agricultural colleges to groom locals for the jobs hitherto taken by foreigners. He was not without sympathy to this policy. One had to be realistic. To survive in this political climate one had to go with the tide. It would not be a one-sided gain for Britain in the future. He was assured that residence permits for bona fide foreign directors would be automatically renewed. That assurance, he knew, meant that they had to play ball. He heard people say that the Tuan Besar could remain tuan, but perhaps not so besar. He grinned at the aptness of the expression: a ‘sir’ but not such an important one.
The conference room was packed. Despite the early hour, gin and tonics, whiskies and sodas were circulating freely. Young boys in uniforms with trays heavily laden with drinks wove their way through the crowd. Discussion was underway punctuated by indignant snorts of derision at yet another Malayan Government initiative. Hugh made his way to Reid, the Commissioner. He was talking to someone.
Hugh stopped. The man following him bumped into his back. Mortified, Hugh turned and apologised before returning his gaze to the Commissioner. He blinked. Next to him stood Mark, a much older Mark with streaks of grey in his hair. Nevertheless, it was unmistakably Mark. The Commissioner saw Hugh and waved him over. “Come and meet our newcomer, not quite new as he was here back in 1950. Mark Lampard, meet Hugh Anderson our newly appointed representative.
Mark turned to Hugh and put out his hand. He held it fast; a little frown appeared on his forehead. “Do I know you? Sorry. I lost my memory. I have not really recovered it. If I know you please accept my apologies for not recalling. It will come back now that I am back in the country. I am sure of it. I was surprised when I heard myself speaking Malay and understanding it. It was that knowledge that clinched my application for the post. Yet big gaps remain of my personal life.”
“I am sure you are both acquainted,” Reid said with a disarming smile. “Anderson was in Tanjong Malim around the same time you were there with Harrisons and Crosfield. Nasty business then. Mark was captured. I’ll move on and leave you two to catch up. The gong will ring for lunch soon; we’ll get down to business then.” Reid moved away with a quick nod.
“Were we acquainted?” Mark was excited. At last someone from his past. “If you know me, then tell me. It would be a great help. I would love to know everything I can about my past.”
“Yes! Of course! I would be delighted to talk about old times. But can we do it another day? I am sorry, I need to go now. My first speech and all that.” Hugh looked desperately over Mark’s shoulder hoping to catch someone’s eye, someone who could rescue him.
“My apologies,” Mark’s face fell and his gaze turned flat, “I should not have bothered you at our first meeting. I’ll let you get on with what you need to do.” He was disappointed and embarrassed. He could tell that Hugh was not willing to renew their acquaintance. The excitement he had felt when they were first introduced left him. He turned to leave.
Hugh reached out and clasped Mark’s arm. “Of course I know you. Don’t fret. We’ll definitely get together and talk about old times.” He gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry I was not forthcoming earlier on. Didn’t know what to do. Your memory ... I didn’t know what to say.”
Mark was delighted. His smile stretched from ear to ear. “It would help me tremendously if I could have a chance to talk with someone from my past. Here, take this card. I have your contact. Your card was the first thing my office at Guthries gave me. If I don’t hear from you, may I call you?”
“I look forward to it. I have to leave you now. Several people are beckoning me and I must circulate.”
***
The French windows were thrown wide open. A light breeze blew in perfuming the air with scents from the garden. Hugh was sitting in the sitting room waiting for May. She was upstairs putting Craig to bed. It was a beautiful room full of May’s touches. Celadon jars, bronze statuettes, Persian rugs and teak furniture blended seamlessly. Hugh sighed. How was he going to break the news to her? He kneaded his brow.
“Bad day?” May asked. She walked to him and knelt at his feet. She placed her head on his lap. Her flowing silk batik top skimmed on the floor over her long sarong. Hugh was never tired of seeing his wife. He loved it when she wore her oriental dresses. Would Mark’s return change everything? Mark was May’s first love. Mark was also his friend.
“I saw Mark.”
May’s head shot up. “Where?” The atmosphere became charged with tension with that one sentence. He saw fear in her eyes.
“At the planters’ meeting at the Lake Club. He has just arrived. He has joined Guthries.”
“But that is not possible. You said that foreign firms are not employing expatriate staff.”
“They can if they can prove that no local person can do the job and the expatriate has the local knowledge and experience to do it. Mark met all the criteria. That part of his memory seemed unimpaired.”
“Did he recognise you? Does he remember?”
“No, he didn’t remember me but it will be a matter of time. His memory, he said, is coming back. I cannot pretend that I do not know him, not when Reid told him I was in Tanjong Malim with him. I can’t pretend, May. He was my friend.”
“Did he mention me?” May’s face was drained of colour.
Hugh shook his head.
May jumped up. “What if he remembers?”
“I have thought about it. In fact I have thought about it the whole day. If he does, what does it matter? He did not know about Craig. He will have to accept that you have moved on and love someone else, me.” Hugh’s voice faltered. “Unless you still love him. Are you afraid that you still have feelings for him? Are you afraid of seeing him and having these feelings rekindled?”
May put her arms round Hugh and hugged him hard. She could feel his heart pumping; hers too was going at a maddening rate. “I don’t love him, I am just afraid of seeing him. I am frightened because of Craig. That he would recognise Craig as his when his memory returns.”
Hugh wrapped his arms around her. “And I am afraid that you still love Mark.”
She shook her head burying it deeper into his chest. “I love you. Mark was my past, when I was j
ust seventeen.”
Hugh crushed her to him. He couldn’t let go. He was choked up with emotion and the fear of losing May.
“I am expecting our child,” May whispered. “I went to the doctor today while you were at the meeting. He confirmed it. I am two months into my term.”
Hugh lifted May off her feet and laughed. He bellowed with joy. “My sweet.” He kissed her tenderly, making it linger, wanting the sweetness to go on forever. He traced the outline of her lips with a finger. “I am so happy. I thought for a while that it would not happen.”
***
“This, Madam, is prime location, within ten minutes drive to the city centre, yet surrounded by greenery. Look at the trees around you. It would be difficult to find another rental property that could beat this. The owner built it for himself. Due to changed circumstances he is letting it out. Everything is beautifully and tastefully done. It comes fully furnished. Of course, the other advantage is that the majority of your neighbours, I would say over ninety percent, are expatriates, English mainly.” The agent beamed. “You have at your doorstep, people from your own country.”
Ruth walked from room to room, her hand caressing the walls, the curtains, and the sofas. It was indeed a beautiful house. Five bedrooms with an equal number of bathrooms! A far cry from the one they had to share in England. She popped her head through one of the doors. The bedroom had a balcony. A riot of colourful plants grew in metal baskets hung on the railings. She descended the stairs. Her fingers caressed the highly polished teak banister. The living room opened up to the left. Awed, she had to stop herself from tiptoeing on the black Italian marble floor. Teak panelled walls rose seamlessly to high ceilings from which hung chandeliers. A thrill went through her. Her first thought was that at last, there was to be no more mouldy wall papers. Why, however, she wondered, would they need so many rooms?
“Can we afford this?” she asked, certain that the price would be out of their range and that she would not need to make a decision. It would be taken out of her hands.
“Of course, Madam. If I could be so presumptuous. All foreigners out here have large houses. This house certainly meets the criteria. Quite a few expatriate employees from Guthries live in this neighbourhood. It would be a great social meeting place. There is a small parade of shops within walking distance catering to foreigners. Also a mini market that sells goods not easily available at the local market. They stock Marmite.” He grinned. He had been told that was what the English liked and was proud to show off his knowledge. “There is a hairdresser and a general haberdashery store for linen,” he continued, flashing his gold teeth. He saw the hesitance in Ruth’s face. “Perhaps you need time to discuss it with your husband?” He twiddled his fingers. “I have to tell you that another family is also considering this property.”
Ruth walked to the window. Tall trees skirted the lawn. A bed of orchids stood in the middle. Sprays of dark red orchids with spotted petals nodded their heads and swayed in the breeze. Mark had said he would go along with whatever she wished. She was overwhelmed by it all. She had been apprehensive that they would be sent out to the plantations immediately. She had dreaded that the posting would be in Tanjong Malim. When it was clear that they would be in Kuala Lumpur, she had cried with relief. He had gathered her in his arms and called her a silly goose, not guessing her anxiety. He told her he would be coordinating from the capital city. He would visit plantations as and when needed, for they were spread out over many different states. She prayed he would never need to go to Tanjong Malim. Surely there would be little chance of his stumbling on May if he was in Kuala Lumpur. She presumed that May would be in Tanjong Malim, or at least somewhere further north. Perhaps May was no longer in Malaya. The war against communist insurgents was fast coming to an end. Many people had been deported. May could have been one of those.
She could feel her heart beat. Whenever she thought of May, her mouth would turn dry. She had never met May. Yet her mind was besieged by that one image of May in the photograph she spotted on the wall. A smiling May that had filled her with jealousy. A jealousy so strong that she had done what she had done. She had hidden from Mark anything that she thought would trigger his memory of May. She had surprised even herself in her deviousness. That was then. Now she was weighed down with guilt. She was guilty for her willingness to sacrifice Mark’s memory to be rid of a rival. She was guilty of adultery herself. She heaved a sigh as though by sighing she could rid herself of self-loathing. The faster she put out roots in Kuala Lumpur, the safer she would feel. Moreover, for Libby’s sake, they should move out of the hotel as quickly as possible. As for the many rooms, she could turn one into a playroom; another could be a study. Then one could be a guest room. She turned to Ah Teck, the agent. “We’ll take it.”
Chapter 19
IT WAS ALMOST noon. Mark waited at the bar. He was to meet Hugh for lunch. Two weeks had passed since their first meeting. Hugh had not called. Mark had expected that. He knew Hugh had a busy schedule and when Hugh finally agreed to meet up with him at the Selangor Club, he was delighted. He swirled the orange juice in his glass packed full of ice. He had astonished the barman when he ordered a juice. The barman, a young Indian with well groomed whiskers, showed it by the slight lift of an eyebrow and a swift sardonic grin that he quickly hid. Gin and tonic or Tiger beer were what members normally favoured. Mark could see it for himself. He looked round the room and mentally counted the number of alcoholic drinks being consumed. Even the air was saturated with it. But he had vowed that he was not going down the route of gins, whiskies and brandies or even beer again. He was finished with that. He had sworn that he would pull out of the depression that had plagued him these past years. He gulped down the ice-cold juice and asked for another.
Outside the Club, the sky was a continuous expanse of blue with not a cloud in sight. It was blistering hot and a cricket match was being played in the manicured field separating the Club from the Government Offices across the road,
Mark leaned his elbow on the bar and crossed his ankles. Overhead, ceiling fans hummed. He was glad to be back in Malaya. He would rather be out in the plantations than in Kuala Lumpur but no doubt he would be visiting them soon enough. He was disappointed that Ruth had not shared his enthusiasm for returning to Malaya. However, things seemed to have settled down. The move to their new home was keeping her busy. Libby was settling into her new school. Even his work appeared to be going well. He had grasped automatically all that had to be done. It was as though he had never stopped working. He had no problems speaking Malay. Yet his memory of places and people remained tantalisingly vague. It would seem that his mind had deliberately shut down an episode of his life, an episode that he felt Ruth knew more about than she revealed.
He spotted Hugh walking towards him and waved. They ordered their drinks and walked over to a settee.
“Gosh, it is hot out there. Well over ninety degrees. Perhaps we’ll have a thunderstorm. It would help cool things down,” said Hugh. He sipped his drink and examined Mark covertly. May had begged him not to meet Mark. Yet how could he continue to avoid him? It would only arouse suspicion. The best thing was to let events take their course. If Mark was to remember, nothing could prevent it. So he sat waiting for the inevitable questions to arise, wondering if he should pre-empt them to avoid suspicion.
Mark too was thinking rapidly. He had made enquiries about Hugh. He was now a family man with a Malayan Chinese wife and a son, and well liked by both planters and locals.
“Did we know each other well?” Mark asked breaking the silence. He leaned forward planting his elbows on his thighs and clasping his fingers together.
“Of course. We were in Tanjong Malim together, you as a planter and I with the military then. My unit was based in a wing of the Agricultural College not very far from your residence. It was such a small community. Everyone knew everyone else.”
“What happened to me? I mean did they find out the motive behind my capture?”
“To in
stil fear I suppose. You were not the only planter to be persecuted. Your predecessor lost his life. Surely someone must have told you about it.”
“Yes! I hear the same things from almost everyone I ask. My former firm gave a similar account. Yet I have flashes of memory, of faces that I could not quite place. Since my arrival I seem to recall in particular a certain face.” Mark smiled sheepishly. “A beautiful Chinese girl. The image comes and then goes, like a phantom that has no shape. The other day, I saw a lovely Chinese woman with long hair. I went up to her. I often get this feeling when I see a Chinese lady with long hair that it must be this missing face that I could not quite place. I alarmed her.”
Mark’s voice dropped. He leaned closer towards Hugh. “I should not be asking this,” he said feeling guilty even as he voiced his question. “Was I involved with a woman?”
Hugh stared at Mark’s red face, aware that they were broaching dangerous ground. “Not as far as I know,” he said cautiously. He paused, weighing the situation. His face was bland of expression; his heart, however, was beating wildly. May, May he wanted to cry in anguish. There was no way he could hide her without creating greater suspicion. “Perhaps you remember my wife. She worked for you. She is certainly beautiful.” He gave a snort of laughter. It sounded false, even to his own ears. “As long as you don’t mistake her for anything else. She is my wife.”
Mark fell back to his seat. “Why didn’t you mention it before?” He was incredulous that Hugh had not disclosed this previously.
“We didn’t have time to talk. Remember?” Hugh laughed. “I was too busy thinking of my speech, my first, to the planters. It was a very important day for me. You know that things are getting tricky out here. My head is full at the moment and it was certainly full on the first day of our meeting. In fact I have been meaning to say this. It is something I tell the others as well. Guthries should worry about the rapidly changing situation for British firms. We are not doing well, even against the Japanese. Imagine that! People seemed to have conveniently forgotten about the Japanese occupation and the atrocities committed during their time here. The Japanese are now winning more contracts than us. They are persuasive. They are willing to impart a greater equity share than we do when they embark on joint ventures with their Malayan counterparts. It is something that you should discuss with your employer. It might have to re-think its position.”
Where the Sunrise is Red Page 12
